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Special Handling by petrichorca for ghostalservice (plantainleaf)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Jul 2023
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Summary
Ed retires to a tree-lined neighborhood far from his old life to start a new one. He gets a big, tender, horny crush on his local mail carrier. Are the feelings mutual? (You betcha.)
Written for AUgust, Day 1 prompt: Mail Carrier.
Series
- Part 7 of OFMD AU prompts
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Ed's a small business owner having a midlife crisis; he gets stranded in a weird airport in the middle of the USA when his flight home to Auckland gets diverted. He doesn't know he's about to meet the love of his life.
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Izzy has just been fired from a huge social media network and is returning to his small hometown where he will be forced to share Hanukah with Ed, his new boyfriend Stede... and his high school bully CJ who's helping their moms remodel.
SMAU links in notes! Weekly Updates posted here!
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fmd pussy bingo entry: clothed stizzy college au
---The Queen Anne frat house is throwing a party, and Stede got invited by his crush - except his crush is now ignoring him in favor of Jack. He happens to find Izzy outside, and their - uh, argument - escalates quickly.
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“It’s supposed to mean that Edward is going to get bored of you. He always does. No matter how pretty and nice you are,” he practically spit the words at him, as if they were insults rather than compliments. Izzy didn’t seem to process what he had just said, and this time, it was Stede smiling at him, catching him in the act.
“Ah, Israel- do you think I’m pretty?”
Series
- Part 10 of OFMD Pussy Bingo 2022 prompts
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proper gold need not fear the melting pot by cravatwearer
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Nov 2022
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Summary
If his heart wasn't in it, he thinks he'd be perfectly fine with what he's doing, but the fact of the matter is that Edward Teach is horribly, devastatingly, insanely, head over fucking heels in love with Stede Bonnet, and watching him get himself off on the gifts he has no idea Ed is sending him is only adding fuel to the fire. He doesn't know how much more he can take before he breaks.
This one might just do it.
(or, Ed accidentally on purpose becomes Stede's anonymous sugar daddy and proceeds to fuck around and find out)
Series
- Part 1 of precious metals
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And there's a chance that things'll get weird. Yeah, that's a possibility. by pintpotjudas for postcardmystery
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
29 Oct 2022
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Summary
Viago gets dumped by the love of his afterlife, and everyone does their level (terrible) best to help him move on. Anton knows a thing or two about not getting the life you thought you were going to have. The camera crew are back to film every moment of it. More or less.
“Katherine left Viago a note.” Deacon says, turning to the camera and making a face as a moan of anguish echoes from behind the closed door of Viago’s chamber. “It seems that she met a younger man at the bingo hall, and they have- well, not ‘run’ away, because I do not think he can run with that metal frame thing he has to use to get about but- they have left.”
A crash comes from inside the room, and then more heartbroken crying.
Deacon winces. “Vladislav is comforting him.”
“We could just kill her if you like-” Vladislav can be heard saying.
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Izzy and Jack play on the same community women’s ice hockey team and they can’t stop fighting. And their fighting isn’t sexually charged at all.
Series
- Part 22 of Jack and Izzy 2gether 4ever
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Only once they were out of sight of the café did the man stop and take his arm away, giving Stede a sheepish little grin. “Looked like you needed rescuing back there,” he said, and then held out his free hand. “I’m Ed.”
Stede, still a little dumbfounded, grasped Ed’s hand in a weak shake. “Stede. Stede Bonnet. I’ll pay you back for the tea, I promise. I get paid next week.”
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A modern AU where Ed saves Stede from embarrassment in a café, and then suddenly accidental sugar daddy happens. This is a prompt fill from the OFMD kink meme, the fic is all complete and a new chapter will be posted weekly.
ETA: A podfic version of this fic, read by the incomparable SD_Ryan, is available here!
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It isn’t a secret at Queen Anne’s Academy that Stede Bonnet has a big fat crush on the world-famous rockstar known as Edward Teach. To Professor Bonnet, he seems to be just Ed, though. Ed this, Ed that.
(or, alma bonnet's stepdad is a rockstar. who would've thought?)
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Lighthouse Bookshop had been there seemingly since time immemorial. Over forty years at that spot, sitting proud, a beacon at the heart of the community, and when the old owner decides to sell, it's the perfect vessel for Stede's odd restlessness.
And the building is connected to a famous cocktail bar run by a mad genius behind the stick.
One problem: Stede's still married.
ETA: Podfic available thanks to the inimitable KninjaKnitter at this link
Series
- Part 1 of sleeves touching sleeves
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Izzy likes lines, likes rules. Likes to know where things start and where they finish, definite and resolved.
But where the fuck does getting off to Luce begin, and how does sitting on the bridal table at Ed’s wedding with Lucius end?
Or: The one where Izzy is Ed's best man, Stede wants the most lavish wedding possible, and the person in charge of planning it is the camboy Izzy's been subscribed to for the better part of a year.
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Washington Square Park Dog Run for Larger Dogs by FortinbrasFTW
Fandom: Black Sails, Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Apr 2022
- Words:
- 6,212
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 22
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take this sinking boat and point it home by sugarybowl, wishingonalightningbolt
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Jul 2022
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Summary
Izzy supposes he gets used to having the assistant around. That doesn’t mean Izzy likes him. He’s rude, for one thing, completely fucking bitchy. He talks back, rolls his eyes, treats Izzy—treats him the way he treats authority. Dismissively, without a care in the world, as if he could take it or leave it.
The most fucking annoying thing about the stupid fucking assistant is his stupid fucking dating life.
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When he starts sleeping with Lucius, Izzy has to process a lot of feelings about monogamy, about Edward, and about what he deserves.
A follow-up to "fine dining" in which Izzy finds his own way.
Series
- Part 3 of we can share a meal your way
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Post-episode 10, Stede brings his rescued crew to Spanish Jackie's, where he finds an unlikely ally in Izzy Hands. Together, they agree to find Ed, and end up growing closer than either imagined.
Stede reached out, as if to run his fingers over Izzy’s scar, but thought better of it and pulled his hand away. “You, me, and Ed all have the same scar,” he observed. “Funny, you gave me mine, I gave Ed his, and he gave you yours. It makes a circle, like Ouroboros eating his own tail.”
This is centered on Izzy/Stede, leading up to eventual Stede/Izzy/Ed.
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"I don't have demands," Bonnet says. "This isn't a hostage negotiation. But to start, I think we should stop quarreling over him like a pair of hungry jackals."
Series
- Part 2 of Doldrums
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“Are you sure you’re not married?” Stede swallows.
Something is tickling the back of his mind, a memory or dawning realisation or the hangover exasperated by the flashing lights of Las Vegas spilling onto the dishevelled bed. Stede pulls at his left glove, alarm coiling in his gut.
Ed snorts in amusement. “Yeah I’m sure. I think I’d remember if I got hitched.”
“Would you?” Stede says shakily.
He holds his hand between them. Around his ring finger is a band matching Ed’s exactly. Brand new, without a single scratch on it, golden and lovely.
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In which Stede and Ed are stuck ashore, and accidentally become pen pals. You've Got Ye Olde Maile!
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But what do you do Thomas, thats lefd you so wanting for a thrill that you need to spy thru a thiket of chiken scradch on the spelling atrossittys of strangers? Is Royal James a royal bore?
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One summer day, two unlikely paths cross in the alley behind Bonnet Group’s towering skyscraper: Stede is at the end of his rope, and Ed’s just taking a smoke break. Of course, after they’ve become inseparable, Ed’s past catches up to him as Stede tries to find a way out of his own obligations, and the solace they’ve found in each other is threatened.
“You’re freaking out in here,” Lucius says, shutting the door behind himself. He grabs two rocks glasses from the bar cart and a decanter of the good whisky and sets it all on Stede’s desk.“Astute,” Stede declares. “I’ve asked Ed on a date.”
“Ooh, Mr. Mechanic?” Lucius simpers, and Stede blushes. “Haven’t you two been dating for weeks?”
“Wh—No, we’re friends!” He says.
“Oh, my God, you can’t be serious,” Lucius says.
Series
- Part 1 of a love that won’t sit still
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Stede is ready to 'get back out there' after his divorce, but he's more than a little bit intimidated by the concept of online dating. After a series of truly terrible first dates, he's close to giving up on love altogether. Perhaps he's too old for all this Grindr nonsense.
And then, along comes a bartender called Edward Teach.