1 - 20 of 54 Works by astardanced
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Csethiro broke abruptly free of the pack and came sweeping towards him with hands outstretched, probably hoping to do damage control.
“Serenity,” she said, ignoring her father, who seemed to be wanting to prompt her like a conductor. “We are honoured to have you here.”
Maia had very little experience with the specific social mortifications of an embarrassing family— his own having simply chosen to forget he existed— and it wouldn’t have been fair to make a judgement, but there was already an undeniable tinge of the ridiculous to the entire affair.(Awkward dinners are part and parcel of the Emperor's role... but the Ceredada really are spectacularly embarrassing.)
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and if you do, I'll know it's you by astardanced
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
01 Nov 2024
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three other ways in which it did NOT happen... but harrowhark nonagesimus— and/or palamedes sextus— would probably have preferred it, if it had.
(first— a joust, a lady's favour, and a knighthood; second— a play, the holy roman emperor, and a sly matchmaking ploy; third— a social call, bonnets, and a card-party)
(or: tlt, after thomas malory, william shakespeare, and jane austen)
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remain nameless by astardanced
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
28 Jul 2024
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The classical world, the plays of Shakespeare, the Bible, every piece of literature and culture ever made, have all been burned to shreds in the nuclear fallout, lost to everyone except John and his excellent poetic memory. Sometimes he thinks it’s like that crap film, the one where everyone but that one guy forgot about the Beatles. Except instead of the Beatles, it’s all of human culture, ever. The names, the references— they mean nothing to anyone except him. He feels a certain responsibility, for blowing up the entire cultural canon. A shred of guilt. A shard. Sorry, William. Sorry, Geoffrey. Especially sorry, Jane.
They exist only in his head, now, and in his friend’s names.
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(after the apocalypse, john resurrects and renames.) -
The Lancre Witches' Guide to Bein' Yourself by astardanced
Fandoms: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
22 Jun 2024
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Summary
“And here I was, forgetting my manners! What’s your name, my lad?”
Moist’s brain said: make something up.
Moist’s eyes made the mistake of glancing at Granny Weatherwax.
Moist’s mouth said, almost in fear of what would happen if it didn’t: “Moist Von Lipwig, Mrs Ogg.”
“Well, we mothers all make mistakes once in a while…”---
In Which Moist Von Lipwig Learns Self Possession - No Post On Octedays - Landing On Your Feet - Heart Attack and Homicide - The Havin’ Of Ways - The Cobblestone Rat-Mouse-Rabbit - Letters To The Afterlife - The Matter Of The Lead On The Opera House Roof
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scott street by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil (2022)
08 Dec 2023
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Agatha and Sophie realise quickly that ‘going home’, and ‘living in Gavaldon for the rest of your miserable existence’, aren’t quite the same thing.
With the barrier between Gavaldon and the Endless Woods permanently damaged, they’re offered a chance to return to the School, for what the Deans promise to be a ‘new and improved!’ and ‘much more serene!’ second year. Agatha doesn’t exactly believe them; but there are reasons why they might consider going back. A few...
Well, anyway.
Don’t be a stranger. -
the ninth wave by astardanced
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
01 Oct 2023
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Summary
This was, Aiglamene felt, an uncomfortable reversal; Gideon Nav upright, uncreased and unbothered, while Harrowhark Nonagesimus lay crumpled and defeated? It felt impossible. And Harrowhark seemed uncomprehending, too, that was the worst of it; she looked about with precisely no familiarity, or recognition of what or who she was seeing. Hell, no wonder Crux had been steaming. It would have boiled his piss to see his beloved Lady brought back in such a state…
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a rewrite of gideon and aiglamene's scene in nona the ninth, from aiglamene's pov -
living with identities (that do not belong to me) by astardanced
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
10 Jul 2023
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She considered asking God to at least get rid of the teeth, if not give her a heart, but there had never been a right time, and in the end, it had morphed into a kind of reminder. Even under her shirt, she could always feel the gaping hole. She had no heart; she knew why, and she knew how she had lost it.
So, Kiriona Gaia never quite stuck– for how could she, when nothing and no one had filled the hole that was the last act of Gideon Nav?
(It might have been a noble thought, a poetic one, if she hadn’t laughed at 'filled the hole' and completely sunk the moment.) -
don't you know who I think I am? by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
16 Apr 2023
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“...you’re just like them. Like everyone here. You think there’s something wrong with me.”
“I’m going to marry the Dowager Queen,” said Arthur, ignoring the accusation. “You will be there. You will smile. You will be courteous and respectful to your new stepmother.”
Tedros reddened deeper, irritated that his father presumed he needed to tell him such things. He knew the importance of appearance, even if he didn’t like it. Hadn’t he tried his best? Didn't he try his best? Every day?
“...and eventually to your stepsiblings.”
Tedros’s fists clenched on the tablecloth. In the reflection of the silver milk jug, he could see that his attempts to flatten his hair were being defeated, and it was curling at the edges already. Just like his…
“You’re trying to replace me.”
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a series of vignettes from an AU where king arthur survived. -
Simmer: Or, A True History of the Second Life of One Callis Wardwell, Witch, Who Cheated Death (And More Besides) by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
31 Jan 2023
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Making it out of two Gavaldon witch burnings alive takes a special kind of audacity. Thankfully, Callis has plenty of it.
But chasing Agatha back into the Endless Woods, leads her directly into a web of lies, intrigue and backstabbing that points all the way back to Rafal, and her time at Evil.
It’s lucky, then, that Callis’s infamous mother is so good at all of those things, because in order to survive this brutal extension of their tale, Agatha, Sophie and Tedros are going to need all the help they can get.
But everyone knows parents are peripheral, in fairy tales. And being peripheral is much harder than it seems.
They’ll do what they can.
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or, callis survives into the camelot years.Series
- Part 2 of wardwell clan/callis backstory
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in the morning, and at nightfall by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
06 Jan 2023
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“How you thrive, darling, when no one can call you out on your ineptitude…”
Agatha snapped out her sleeves with a flick of her wrists, and grinned horribly.
“On the contrary, darling, I have never been more competent in my life. Now, tell me what the hell you did with the rest of my breakfast.”
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The Camelot servants are somewhat baffled by the manner of court they now serve in. Particularly the ones that directly attend to the Queen... and particularly those that don't quite know what they're getting themselves into.
For her part, Agatha is having quite a good time, these days.Series
- Part 18 of filling in canon
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"I think you should hear my hypothesis."
"It appears I don't have any choice."
"I think," Tedros blathered on, determined, "That we don't know each other well enough, so we always fight because we don't know how the other person's brain works."
Agatha bit back several unkind comments she could feel clamouring for the honour of being said out loud. Instead, she said;
"Oh."
"That's it?" said Tedros. "Oh?"
"Was I meant to tell you you're a genius and Camelot is sooo lucky to have you, and give you a big kiss?"
"I mean, I'd not be opposed to that."
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or: stuck in gavaldon, tedros and agatha play whatever the woods' equivalent of 21 questions is. they're rubbish at it.Series
- Part 17 of filling in canon
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"Girls are saying Beatrix is inconsolable." Kiko told them, scampering into the Purity Common Room with an armful of clean, but still damp, stockings and stays.
"Some of it is okay," said Agatha, turning her fingerglow on them to try and dry them. "Just need a few washes and an iron, maybe. Can't she just write home to replace it all, anyway–?"
She stopped, wary at the way the chatter had dropped, and the emphatic, wide eyed, stares the other girls were giving her.
"...what?"
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set during sophie's attacks on good in book 1. one such attack is more revealing about beatrix's character than necessarily expected, or desired.Series
- Part 16 of filling in canon
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Summary
The first sign was the child’s drawings.
As they crammed around the table in the squat dining room of the Avalon cottage, Agatha’s eyes fell upon a scraggly line of parchment drawings, scrawled in splodgy ink, pinned on string across the wall.
They didn’t look old, like relics of Guinevere’s first child, now a young man. They looked new.
Brand new.
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in which the empty child's bedroom in guinevere and lancelot's avalon cottage, is not so empty after all. -
Be Gay, Do Crimes: Ros Vs Everything, Apparently by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
14 Jul 2022
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Rosalind hadn’t thought it would be so difficult.
Go to the School for Good and Evil, take the rank of Class Captain, make sure her twin brother doesn’t get any bother. Easy.
But the further Ros gets into her year at the School, the more she becomes entangled with other people’s problems. Not only that; soon, it becomes apparent that there’s a new threat developing. And it affects both the students in the school and the people of the Endless Woods; including Ros and Marcus’s older sister Alex, out touring the Woods on a secretive quest…Series
- Part 2 of my OCs
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Tongues And Teeth: Or, A True and Previously Uncovered History of the Life and Fortunes of One Callis Wardwell, Witch by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
19 Mar 2022
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Decades before The Tale of Sophie and Agatha, prodigious teenage witch Callis Wardwell is sent to the School for Evil by her conniving mother, with a simple task; keep tabs on the new Once and Future King of Camelot, exploit his weaknesses, and give Evil the potential to win a fairytale for the first time in centuries.
Not that it works like that.
A mogrification, a manipulated teaching position, several foolishly contrived romances, one successful and one failed murder, a placebo, a witch clan, and a mother’s ultimate intervention are all things the Tale of Callis and Vanessa conveniently skirted.Series
- Part 1 of wardwell clan/callis backstory
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strangeness & charm by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
01 Mar 2022
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Agatha does not do 'standard' very well.
Not that he’d wish her to. But… well, she’s certainly not Snow White. Agatha doesn't talk to rabbits or deer. They don’t like her very much, either; they think she’s tall and stomps and smells funny, according to Beatrix, who actually paid attention in Uma’s lessons. And she doesn’t sing to birds. She'd probably scare them off; her voice is terrible.
But she excitedly plucks frogs and toads from ponds and points out all the grisly anatomical bits and holds them up, saying 'don't their eyes look like mine?' and when Tedros says not really, pointing out that she's a woman and that's a frog, she ignores him.---
between her education at good, and the long line of princesses and queens that came before her, it stands to reason that agatha should now be able to use all the tools available to her to cement herself as the ideal queen of camelot.
tedros thinks that anyone who had expected such a thing really doesn't know agatha very well. -
we could form an attachment by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
06 Dec 2021
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“I’d have to ask--” Tedros grabbed hopefully for her hand and Agatha reluctantly let him take it. His hands were extremely clammy. Like a squid. “If you would do me the honour of er…” he squinted. “Something about letting me… pay you respects?”
“Like I’m dead?” scoffed Agatha.
“I didn’t memorise it.” Tedros mumbled, partially to himself. “I thought you’d think it was dumb…”
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there is a procedure to courting the future queen of camelot. unfortunately, tedros accidentally skipped most of it.
(agatha didn't even know there was one in the first place)Series
- Part 15 of filling in canon
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“Curses? Yeah, rehearsals were... fine.”
Callis’s lip curled. She never missed much, no matter what she pretended.
“I’m sure that’s what Sophie thought. For someone who supposedly trained as a Princess...”
She trailed off.
“Supposedly?” said Agatha tautly. “You don’t believe in the School, after all?”
“I believe in the School just fine,” said Callis. “I have less faith in how much of her education she has retained.”
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pre-AWWP. agatha has second thoughts, and secrets, and a certain bothersome presence in her subconscious.Series
- Part 14 of filling in canon
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our lady of the underground by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
15 Sep 2021
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“How’s your work, then?”
“You’re not gettin’ any more information than what your girl paid for, you sparkly git.”
“Fine, I get the picture.” said Tedros. “We’ll be goin’, then, ladies, since Castor doesn’t want to chat. See you soon, fella! Stay in touch--”
“Hope I don’t. You and your wicked boss are bad news.”
Tedros just laughed, and no one else protested. Castor was right, anyway. They were very bad news indeed.
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there's a job. there's always a job. for people like them, there's rarely anything else.Series
- Part 6 of sge 1920s au
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'from now on we are enemies' by astardanced
Fandoms: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
09 Aug 2021
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“That’s… a hypothetical? Right?”
“It is not.” Sader said.
“But Tedros isn’t King,” said Reena.
“Yes, he is.”
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because, technically, tedros has been king the entire time. not that anyone really got told that.
(set mid-book 1)Series
- Part 13 of filling in canon