Yoongiskneecap
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Summary
As he tries to formulate a response, Namjoon takes in Jungkook’s restless energy—his lower lip caught between his teeth, the incessant jiggle of his knee as he sits in the studio’s extra chair.
It makes perfect sense that sooner or later he’d come to Namjoon with questions. Jungkook is young, and horny, and they’ve all been stewing in each other’s sex lives for years. When it comes right down to it, Namjoon has been expecting something like this for a while.
Well. Maybe not quite like this.
“Just to clarify,” he says carefully. “You want me…to teach you how to fuck?”
[Namjoon and Yoongi show Jungkook the ropes]
Bookmarked by Yoongiskneecap
18 Apr 2024
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Summary
There’s an art to building a joke, a clinical method only practice and years of training can turn into mastery.
First comes the setup. You set the mood for the audience, lure them into thinking this is a perfectly normal character, a perfectly mundane situation. That way, they can picture a clear image in their head, relate to the scene.
Then, you have the punchline.
The setup of this story is this: Man writes a routine out of anger against an injustice and goes viral.
The punchline? Yoongi hasn’t figured that part out yet.(Or Comedian Min Yoongi goes viral after an acerbic routine on nation’s son-in-law Kim Seokjin’s public outing.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,609
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 970
- Kudos:
- 1,336
- Bookmarks:
- 458
- Hits:
- 32,888
Bookmarked by Yoongiskneecap
19 Dec 2023
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Summary
“We’re mates,” Yoongi says simply. “We’re married now, you put my coat around me. Now you’re my husband.”
“I -” Seokjin cuts himself off. He feels insane, all of this is insane. It doesn’t make sense, there’s no way Seokjin is suddenly married to a - a - seal? “That’s not how human marriage works,” Seokjin says finally, voice cracking a little. “You can’t just say we’re married.”
“Why not?” Yoongi does not seem deterred at all. “That doesn’t matter. Humans are stupid anyway. But you’re hot and you smell nice. You’ll be a good mate. With your broad shoulders, your swimming abilities must be admirable. And you can fish, a provider.” He nods, as if this is all settled. “So you’re my husband.”
-OR-
Burned out from work, famous YouTube chef Seokjin heads to winter-quiet Jeju to escape for a while. His only goals are to relax, and try to find his spark again. When he rescues a naked man on the beach, Seokjin couldn’t have predicted what he was in for. But an accidentally acquired husband in the form of soft, impish selkie Yoongi might be just what Seokjin needs.
Series
- Part 1 of Selkieverse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,293
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 737
- Kudos:
- 2,758
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- 700
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- 64,927
Bookmarked by Yoongiskneecap
17 Dec 2023
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Summary
“Did you need… assistance?” Seokjin asks, holding his breath as he waits for Jungkook’s answer and only slightly terrified he’ll say no, though it’s obvious instantly when his face melts into a warm grin that Seokjin had nothing to worry about.
“I mean… if it’s not too much trouble.”
Bookmarked by Yoongiskneecap
27 Nov 2023
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Summary
Agent Kim Namjoon has been working for the National Intelligence Service (NIS) for seven years, working his way up through Major Crimes.
He's given a six-month posting into the UEP Department, also known as the 'Career Suicide' assignment. On his first day, Agent Min Yoongi gives him a less than welcoming introduction, which unfortunately has no end in sight; they bicker, they argue, they get under each other's skin. Namjoon is certain Yoongi is the first person he's ever truly hated.
Four months in, they get a case that takes them north, hunting for a monster terrorising Elkeu Gang National Park. To their utter dismay, they're put up in a small ranger's cabin in the deep forest instead of a warm, cosy hotel.
What happens when the hunters become the hunted?
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tldr; Namjoon and Yoongi are agents in the National Intelligence Service, who seem to hate each other, bickering constantly. They get a case hunting a cryptid terrorising hikers in a national park and unfortunately, their accommodation is a little small...
Bookmarked by Yoongiskneecap
27 Nov 2023