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the way i feel about you baby can’t explain it by seabiscuit
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
17 Nov 2024
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“She won’t even admit that she’s gay for a New York City Ballet dancer. You think she would go for you, Rio Vidal of Cobb, Oklahoma?” Jenn raises an eyebrow, “IT service provider who plays Elden Ring in her spare time.”
“Maybe.” Chirps Rio. Hope does, after all, spring eternal.
*
Or,
Rio goes from IT service monkey to fucking her very beautiful, very poised boss in a very short period of time. And then, of course, there’s the aftermath.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,690
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 372
- Kudos:
- 4,171
- Bookmarks:
- 899
- Hits:
- 35,471
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
18 Nov 2024
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The lady in green only ever visits after dark. She appears to Nicholas, hooded and barefoot in the moonlight, and kneels beside his bedroll.
"Nicky," she says, and she beckons him away with a tilt of her chin.
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
31 Oct 2024
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Summary
For fourteen years, the only constant (living) person in Klaus' life was a staff member at his rehab facility.
This is an account of Klaus' story from his eyes.
Series
- Part 2 of Vague AU
- Part 1 of Revolving, Evolving
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,773
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 1,665
- Bookmarks:
- 252
- Hits:
- 11,946
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
05 Oct 2024
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Five somehow makes even his boozy hiccups sound patronizing. It shouldn’t be possible, but here they are, being condescended to by a drunk thirteen year-old in knee socks.
Again, because they grew up with Klaus.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,664
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 72
- Kudos:
- 1,676
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 9,056
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
05 Oct 2024
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Summary
Ben protects his sister from beyond the grave. Klaus is totally on board.
Or
AU in which Ben follows Vanya around just as much- or more- as he does Klaus. It works out for the best.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,031
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 96
- Kudos:
- 4,533
- Bookmarks:
- 935
- Hits:
- 28,769
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
03 Oct 2024
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Summary
Much like her siblings, Vanya already wore the umbrella icon on her uniform blazer, her coat, her socks, and even on her pajamas. So why couldn't she wear it on her skin, too?
TW: Self Harm
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
02 Oct 2024
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Summary
Vanya is ordinary. She can’t control people, like her sister, or teleport, like her brother. But just because she’s ordinary doesn’t mean she has to be useless. She can help her siblings to be better, even if it hurts, even if, in the end, she must watch them walk away.
Or: An AU in which Vanya is the last one left at the Umbrella Academy and, ultimately, pays the price for it.
Or: I make Vanya even more of a martyr than she already is, Reginald even more of an abusive asshole than he already is, and everyone else even more clueless than they already are.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,540
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 149
- Kudos:
- 1,239
- Bookmarks:
- 290
- Hits:
- 26,741
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
14 Sep 2024
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Summary
Being a good parent is hard.
Being a good parent when you're a robot is harder.
Being a good parent when you're a robot built by a man who hates children is a constant uphill battle, but Grace does her best.
OR; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Be a Good Mom
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,504
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 423
- Kudos:
- 1,355
- Bookmarks:
- 331
- Hits:
- 9,473
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
03 Sep 2024
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Summary
Almost a year after his disappearance, Five Hargreeves returns to the Umbrella Academy. As delighted as they are to see him, his siblings cannot help but notice that Five is not acting entirely like himself. He's easily distracted by men with briefcases, and won't give anyone a clear answer on where he's been. And for some reason, it might all have something to do with ordinary Number Seven.
Or, Five escapes the Icarus Theater to wind up back in the Academy with his fourteen-year-old siblings. Siblings who are determined to figure out where he's been, no matter how far they have to go in search of answers.
(Featuring donuts, time-traveling assassins, sibling bonding, and one family who cannot stop breaking the timeline.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,366
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 414
- Kudos:
- 1,125
- Bookmarks:
- 281
- Hits:
- 19,339
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
17 Aug 2024
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where the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely by grumpyhedgehogs
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
17 Jun 2020
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Summary
How Vanya Hargreeves saves the world by accidentally becoming a superhero. She'd also like to know when her family decided her apartment is a halfway house.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,980
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 953
- Kudos:
- 7,118
- Bookmarks:
- 2,356
- Hits:
- 94,310
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
13 Aug 2024
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Summary
She can’t lose another brother.
“Hey, I’ve got a crazy idea” Vanya says. “If you promise me you won’t get high or drunk again, I promise you I’ll stop taking my pills too”
Klaus laughs, a little humorlessly. “What? Like some fucked up sobriety pact? I quit my drugs and you quit daddy dearest’s mystery pills?”
Series
- Part 2 of Nighttime
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,050
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 776
- Kudos:
- 3,837
- Bookmarks:
- 798
- Hits:
- 41,926
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
12 Aug 2024
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possible side effects may include... by andiforyou for beansprean
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Nov 2023
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Summary
“If you wish to entrap and ensnare, then press this to his lips with care. Take your fill of his life spilled, and when blood runs dry and eyes burn red, he will be thine, ‘til the very end.”
Nandor blinks.
“Ugh, you vampires truly have no respect for the process. Just have him drink this before you turn him. He’ll be bound to you forever."
Nandor will do anything to keep Guillermo from leaving. Guillermo doesn't realize he's supposed to leave. Lilith is just bored.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,480
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 221
- Bookmarks:
- 45
- Hits:
- 1,523
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
04 Aug 2024
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Summary
"Disco never dies... and neither do we! THE INFINITE DISCO cordially invites you to get your groove on!"
Guillermo gets news so good he doesn't care about jury duty. Nandor tries to coordinate matching outfits for the whole house, to mixed results. Nadja and Laszlo give their blessing through a song request.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,100
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 59
- Bookmarks:
- 18
- Hits:
- 990
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
03 Aug 2024
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Souls, Reunited (Or, It's Not JUST a Horse) by vampireshmampire (thekumquat)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
20 Apr 2022
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Summary
Gregor's not the only one who can be reincarnated. A chance encounter at a stable yard reunites Nandor with his beloved John. But John's current owner is petty and spiteful, and they run the risk of being separated yet again.
Guillermo doesn't like horses, but he does like Nandor (in a friend kind of way, not in--well, not really friend-friend, more, you know, master and familiar, caring about, I mean, y'know). It's up to him to make sure that this time, the story has a happy ending.
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
25 Jul 2024
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Summary
Guillermo wishes, absently, that this ghost of Nandor was tangible, so he could see what color his living skin once was, and find the places where the blood used to pool beneath it. Nandor probably used to flush charmingly, and darken rich under the desert sun. What color were his eyes before? Less predator, more warmth? Like roasted coffee beans, Guillermo imagines. A brown so dark they looked black until they caught the sunlight and flooded with intense, endless depth.
He likes the monstrous black, though. That’s kind of his whole problem.
or:
nandor's ghost wanders in on guillermo's snack break. it's weird.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,167
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 262
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 1,633
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
25 Jul 2024
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You're Dead (and Outta This World) by TheOceanIsMyInkwell
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
21 Jan 2021
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Summary
“Holy shit!” shouts the EMT at his side. His partner on the other side of the gurney--the other side of the body bag--follows up with a well-deserved holy fuck and stumbles backward over her boots to sag against the back of the open ambulance.
“I’m fine, I’m fine, oh God, I’m sorry,” Guillermo babbles. His knees are trembling. He wriggles out of the body bag and hops to his feet, feeling like his legs are a cross between jello and underbaked macaroons, and he repeats his litany of apologies as he bounces from one foot to another to restore circulation.
Pain shoots through his joints from the roots of his toes. He ignores it, instead pivoting his head from side to side wildly seeking the detritus of his phone and groceries.
“Sir! Sir! You were--sir, please get back here! You were dead!”
“Not today, sorry!”
--
Or: 3 times Guillermo came back from the dead, and 1 time Nandor was there to see it.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,573
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 133
- Kudos:
- 3,098
- Bookmarks:
- 658
- Hits:
- 21,577
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
14 Jul 2024
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Summary
Nandor's wives find this non-threatening male intriguing. If he's not a eunuch, the only thing he could be was another wife, right?
Or how the wives think Guillermo is one of them.
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
13 Jul 2024
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A Change in Perspective by vampireshmampire (thekumquat)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
14 Jun 2023
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Summary
"These are potions of perspective. Each one will give you a dream that will show you your life in a new light. This one shows you how the world would look if you had never been born. This one shows you what would happen if you died. But I am going to give you this one. This one shows you what you need to be happy. Not--and this is important--not what you want."
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Nandor goes to the witches for help with him vampire depression, and gets a potion that will help him figure out what he needs to be happy. It's not all smooth sailing--he may not like what the potion has to say, and everyone may not love the changes he's about to make, and no one can ever, ever find out that he went to the semen-stealing witches for help.But hey. It's better than super slumber.
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
13 Jul 2024
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Husband and What? by vampireshmampire (thekumquat)
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Sep 2022
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Summary
When Nandor first proposed, he'd asked Guillermo to be his wife.After some discussion, Guillermo managed to make Nandor understand that in this day and age, they'd both be the husband.
...is what Guillermo thought, right up until Nandor demanded to know why Guillermo was introducing him as his husband, and not his wife.
Series
- Part 1 of Husband and What?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,471
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 35
- Kudos:
- 838
- Bookmarks:
- 101
- Hits:
- 3,919
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
14 Jun 2024
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Parenthood by vampireshmampire (thekumquat) for ChaoticSmirk
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
04 Nov 2022
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Summary
Nandor had once had nine children. Their names were in his mind, somewhere. It wasn’t like his language, or the faces of his parents, which had long been lost to time. His children’s names were tucked away like the sharpest knives—beautiful, beloved, and too painful to hold.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 753
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 5
- Kudos:
- 179
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 891
Bookmarked by WhatHorse
13 Jun 2024