Spectral_Aspen



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    Marinette is now a cat, reasons only recently determined.
    She is also now in Gotham.
    Surprise everyone, it's an asshole.

    Words:
    46,947
    Works:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    477
  2. Words:
    28,966
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
  3. Summary

    Shenanigans with Soundwave & Co. (hence the name of the series).

    Words:
    101,674
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    11
  4. Summary

    Anakin has had a hard life, so once he dies he should be able to find peace, right?

    One might think that, and while the potential is there, that's not what happens.

    Words:
    5,233
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    25
  5. Summary

    Some normal and not-so-normal adventures in the life of one Darcy Lewis.
    But mostly not-so-normal.

    Words:
    2,598
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    18

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    That’s got to be the weirdest looking dog Ajax has ever seen in his life.

    At least, Ajax thinks it’s a dog. It’s got scraggly little ginger tufts of fur around the neck and a strip of wild fur running down the spine like a mohawk, ending in more bushy, fluffy fur bits sprouted at the end of the tail. There are also some sort of strange protrusions from its head, like antlers, or maybe tumours? Fuck if Ajax knows, he’s not a medical professional.

    But even with his lack of medical knowledge, he knows the dog-thing is in bad shape; it’s so covered in dirt and blood that Ajax can’t even tell what colour it is beneath all that grime.

    --

    In which Ajax finds, what he calls in his mind, a "Dog-Lizard", on his random walk around the city and accidentally becomes a pet parent without realizing he's adopted a god.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,456
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    1,029
    Kudos:
    12,370
    Bookmarks:
    2,782
    Hits:
    151,297

    29 Nov 2024

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    “But why in Teyvat did you not say anything, my Lord?”

    The whispers die to a murmur. Ajax, who’s becoming more and more awake, strains his ears but cannot catch anything.

    “My Lord!” a scandalized voice gasps out, “that is…uncharacteristically shameless! And it’s been going on for how long?”

    “I believe the mortals have a word to describe this situation. They call it ‘later-life crisis’. It is where older mortals seek thrills to feel young at heart, most often by purchasing the latest sports car and by dating someone significantly younger and very good-looking.” A pause, then the voice adds dryly, “You wouldn’t, perchance, have purchased a car as well, have you, my Lord?”
    ...
    “So, um, you’re Zhongli’s Adepti buddies, huh?” Ajax gives a tentative wave at the slew of mythical animals, spirits, and guardians seated around him at the large table Zhongli has made appear out of nowhere for teatime. “It’s nice to officially meet all of you? I’m Ajax. From Snezhnaya.”

    “You are also the one who has been our Lord’s keeper,” the angry crane lady (as Ajax has come to refer to her as in his mind) replies. “Thank you for keeping him safe while he lived freely and shamelessly off your hospitality like a parasite.”

    The pained, pinched look makes a reappearance on Zhongli’s face. Ajax thinks he likes the angry crane lady. “Cloud Retainer, please.”

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

    1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it,
    2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and
    3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    248
    Kudos:
    9,097
    Bookmarks:
    1,822
    Hits:
    105,420

    07 Dec 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Guizhong clears her metaphorical throat very loudly.

    Zhongli and Xiao immediately turn to face her. “Boys,” she chides, “please talk it out. With words.”

    “No,” Xiao answers. He is an immortal yaksha, Bane of All Evil, Conqueror of Demons, and his tone is utterly petulant.

    “Yes,” Guizhong says back, and Xiao’s resolve crumbles.

    Venti, on the other hand, decides to pop a cork off one of the wine bottles. “Well, such a momentous occasion calls for a drink!”
    ---
    Guizhong rips into him scathingly. It’s savage. There are no survivors. “Anyway, again, you should have asked him out first. Small steps, my dear, small steps! Mortals do not jump from friendship to marriage the same way we gods raise grand cities from the very rock and dust itself. Such grandiose gestures of courtship are not their style. In fact, you’ll very well scare him off!”

    Throughout the whole thing, Xiao looks like he’s going to have an aneurysm. “My lord,” he breathes in exasperation, “why do you have such terrible taste?”
    ---
    It is almost afternoon when Lumine awakens to the shimmer of lights. “Hey,” Guizhong whispers, “wake up.”

    Lumine cracks one eye open, and nearly reaches for her sword before remembering that this isn’t a mini-Geo Hypostasis coming to avenge its fallen kin. Just Zhongli’s dear, disembodied friend.
    ---
    “Just a question,” Venti huffs as he summons another wind to carry him up, “why are we taking the rooftop route?”

    “Because we are stalking Zhongli,” Guizhong answers frankly, floating weightlessly ahead of them all as Lumine struggles to keep up with two Anemo immortals and a talking sphere. “He would not approve of our interference, so it must be done covertly.”

    As if there is anything covert about any of them. Lumine gasps as she finally scales the resting hill rooftops of Liuli Pavilion.
    ...
    Lumine tries to get the goddess’ attention back on topic. “Guizhong, I think we’re on a tight schedule...”

    “Ah, yes,” she hums. “Well, this is a restaurant, yes? It must have a kitchen. And any kitchen must have an exit for smoke!”

    She scans the area, before flying up to the carefully-concealed chimney. “There it is!”

    “You mean to say we should climb down the chimney,” Xiao deadpans. “Guizhong, I respect your wisdom, but that is--”

    “Yahoo!” Venti immediately pulls the lid off and drops in. “--Aaah, fire at the bottom--!”

    Xiao immediately teleports away, and as Lumine peers over the edge of the chimney, she hears the flurried sounds of shocked chefs and Xiao’s hurried footsteps before Venti shouts back up, “I’m okay!”

    Lumine buries her head in her hands. “Guizhong.”

    Guizhong turns to her. “Yes?”

    “I hate men,” she admits, and Guizhong snorts through her disembodied spirit-nose before glowing brightly in agreement.

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Zhongli is magically transported to a modern world where Genshin Impact is nothing but a game? What if the first place Zhongli lands in is the cramped one-bedroom apartment of Ajax, impoverished college student and number 1 Zhongli simp extraordinaire?

    A slice-of-life story featuring Zhongli trying to navigate his new normal with Ajax acting as his guide (while trying to desperately hide all of his Zhongli merch, including his questionable Zhongli dakimakura).

    --

    A sort of spin-off from "Entirely Out of Spite" where Zhongli from Genshin Impact 1.0 is transported to Ajax's home (if Ajax had not died). Posted as a big Thank You for the 20k kudoses for Entirely Out of Spite. <333

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,790
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,971
    Kudos:
    8,053
    Bookmarks:
    1,208
    Hits:
    167,929

    07 Dec 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    11
    ---
    He also can’t help but feel a bit…flattered. He may not fully understand Ajax’s rant (because that’s exactly what it is. Ajax isn’t done his rant, in fact), but he can understand the gist of it. Ajax gets into arguments to defend the character Zhongli’s honour. It is rather sweet and it soothes his inner dragon god.

    Ah, the perfect little priest. So defensive of him. So fierce.
    ---
    From the corner of his eyes, he sees Peter squirm a little, clearly uncomfortable by the public display of affection. It only feeds into Zhongli’s need to be more petty.

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which the Harbingers are all meddling uncles and aunties, and Tartaglia is the spoiled baby of the group (whether he likes to admit it or not). As uncles and aunties, how can they not intervene (read: swoop in like overprotective mama and papa bears) when they catch wind that not only is their youngest upset after his Liyue trip, but that the reason he's upset has to do with this mysterious "Mr. Zhongli" of Liyue?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,149
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    2,890
    Kudos:
    11,990
    Bookmarks:
    2,267
    Hits:
    207,671

    06 Dec 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “In the meantime, what’s this about a message from Calx?”

    “Calx has agreed to work as the third book’s illustrator. He seems particularly amused by the challenge of this project. He says, ‘the juxtaposition between what’s written in the text and what’s portrayed in the images, coupled with the hints of forbidden sensualism and charged sexuality between the characters is akin to drinking the darkest, most velvety of hot chocolate beverages with a dash of Jueyun Chili Pepper—a perfect symphony of bitter, sweet, and spice.”

    “…What?”

    The minion shrugs, looking as helpless as Pulcinella feels. “No idea, sir.” A pause and the minion perks right up. “Oh, he also asks whether he should draw Rex Lapis’s tits and cock bulge bigger for the next book.”

    Yes. Obviously.
    ---
    Oh no. Pulcinella has a bad feeling about this.

    “Boy,” he warns, “remember what you said about not going soft on him—”

    But Childe is clutching the open letter to his heart, the beginning of a hopeful smile blooming across his face. “He called me his dearest Childe. And he said he was sorry.”

    “He doesn’t even know what he did wrong! For all we know, this can be nothing but an elaborate ruse to…to…take advantage of you!” Also, what is this contract that the perverted worm wyrm talked about?

    That dopey smile doesn’t stop growing. “He wants to win my hand in courtship. He likes me! I want to open that box!”

    “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”
    ...
    “That worm has sent the boy a gift!” Pulcinella spits out to his brethren. “In the form of a large, powerful weapon!”

    The Harbingers (a full house for once) groan.

    “Oh, no,” Capitano mutters. “Please tell me Tartaglia held up some form of resistance.”

    “He caved almost instantaneously and forgave that perverted worm on the spot!”

    The groans come louder and more pained.
    ---
    “No way to run, boy!” Pulcinella mutters at the sight of the boy’s growing pout. “And no time to pout! We need to get you dressed and ready for dinner. The Tsaritsa will be present to make her speech so you must look extra respectable.”

    “I always look extra respectable!”

    “Only thanks to La Columbina!”

    Indeed, the boy has no sense of fashion. What he calls “respectable” is to make himself look “flashy”, which amounts to swooshy capes and scarves adorned with chains, buckles and/or metal pins plus some sort of skin-revealing shirt. If not for Columbina’s guiding hand (and her enthusiasm for having the boy play dress up), the murder gremlin would end up running around Teyvat half-naked in a majestic cape.
    ---
    The boy, predictably, melts even further.

    Meanwhile, Pulcinella (and, from his peripheral vision, the rest of the Harbingers) are sweating buckets.

    Curse that worm! With two gifts, he’s able to target the boy’s weaknesses: battle and fishing! And now, he has the audacity to spew out such sweet words? He is the worst!

    “Is this allowed?” he mutters. “This can’t be allowed!”
    ---
    But the giant talking crane does not leave.

    “I am instructed to witness this Childe opening the gift.”

    Somehow, Pulcinella is sensing that the crane is just as fed up by this ridiculous demand as the Harbingers are. It makes him feel significantly more compassionate towards this Adeptus who has, in essence, been reduced to being a postman due to the whims of his picky boss.
    ---
    The room grows silent.

    Childe clears his throat. His attempt to hide his laughter is fooling no one. “See? What did I tell you about Zhongli’s puppy dog look? It’s very effective.”

    “That cannot possibly work for everyone,” Sandrone snarls. “There has to be one merchant who sees through his tricks!”

    “Sorry to disappoint you, Sandrone, but it looks like every single person has fallen for it.” Arlecchino flips to another page and scowls. “Here’s another interaction. The contestant says, ‘Oh, I do not have my Mora on me. I’m afraid I will have to give this up. What a shame.’ The shopkeeper replies, ‘No, no, that won’t do at all! You must take it for the sake of fulfilling your vision. I insist!’ And this goes on and on for…yup, everybody. It worked on everybody.”

    Silence fills the tent once more.

    Pantalone clears his throat. “I believe I speak for everybody by saying, what the actual fuck.”
    ---
    “What do you mean, we’re going to Morepesok?” the Childe exclaims. “We can’t go to Morepesok!”

    “We can and we will,” Pulcinella counters. “Besides, any of these people can be your potential partner so of course they have to meet your family!”

    The boy shakes his head. “No, Pulcinella, you don’t understand. My family is going to eat these people alive!” His eyes go wide as realization hits. “They’re going to eat Zhongli alive!”

    Pulcinella tries to hide his evil grin but he doesn’t think he’s doing a good job at all. “Oh, will they?”

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It hurt his head to think about what he was doing prior to… this, but he was fairly certain he’d gone to bed. Like any normal day. He’d returned from his routine shift at the Fatui headquarters and gone back to his studio apartment to sleep. The first thing his slightly dumbfound mind managed to conjure up was that he’d been isekai’d, but it was thought with a mental laugh and a ‘yeah, sure’ followed right after.
    Meaning the only feasible conclusion was that he was still asleep, and this was all a dream.

    -----------
    Or, Ajax wakes up somewhere that looks suspiciously similar to Liyue, from Genshin Impact, the videogame; and resolves to change history.
    Alternate working title by Avana: Big Brothers Ajax's Misadventures in Space-Time One Accidental Adoption at a Time

    [word count up to chapter 12: 69k
    word count up to chapter 59: 420 690. funny number achieved. i don't know why it keeps lining up like this]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    446,180
    Chapters:
    62/62
    Collections:
    19
    Comments:
    3,543
    Kudos:
    10,589
    Bookmarks:
    2,327
    Hits:
    425,711

    06 Dec 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Guizhong felt like she should no longer be surprised, yet she still was.

    Childe was flying. With Hydro. Not with Anemo, the element that was meant to make one fly.

    Hydro. The element that wasn’t meant to make people fly.

    Or, at least, wasn’t supposed to. Because, apparently, it could. Somehow.

    Either that, or Childe was just different. Which, at this point, Guizhong was very much willing to accept as fact.