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“I don’t have sex.”
Agatha’s face screwed up somewhere between delight and incredulity, “You don’t ever?” She scoffed, “As in you’ve never at all? How long have you been here?”
“Since the inception of life itself.”
“And you’ve never fucked?” The way she said it, it did sound a little stupid, “What do you do to pass the time?”
“I scare children,” Death shifted in her chair, still rubbing at the skin of one hand with the other. No wonder Agatha had nowhere to live, she thought. She was unbearable. “Amongst other things.”
*
Or,
Upon meeting Death, Agatha takes it upon herself to educate her on some of the finer points of being human.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,889
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 175
- Kudos:
- 1,908
- Bookmarks:
- 359
- Hits:
- 14,082
Bookmarked by Month
08 Dec 2024
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Billy writes a list.
Bookmarked by Month
20 Sep 2024
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Harrington stops. Billy watches all the blood drain out of Harrington’s face and there wasn’t much color there to start with. Harrington lifts the bat again, tries to get to his feet, lands back on his ass. “Billy,” he says again, but it’s desperate now, not relieved. “Billy, behind you!”
Four times Hopper doesn't arrest Billy and one time he does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,488
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 252
- Kudos:
- 11,294
- Bookmarks:
- 2,224
- Hits:
- 93,596
Bookmarked by Month
20 Sep 2024
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It had never occurred to Jaime once, in the three solid months he’d spent in the pen, that Robb Stark could make his imprisonment worse by giving him a bath, a warm bed, and some decent food to eat.
Series
- Part 21 of Game of Thrones works
Bookmarked by Month
19 Sep 2024
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His house liked Draco Malfoy more than him.
Series
- Part 3 of Harry Potter works
- Part 11 of Astolat Sampler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,111
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,310
- Kudos:
- 31,457
- Bookmarks:
- 10,053
- Hits:
- 465,555
Bookmarked by Month
19 Sep 2024
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Harry tried not to care when after the war, everyone he knew seemed to have made an agreement to stop paying attention to birthdays.
Series
- Part 9 of Harry Potter works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,315
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 234
- Kudos:
- 17,342
- Bookmarks:
- 2,044
- Hits:
- 176,948
Bookmarked by Month
19 Sep 2024
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Vesemir wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve any of this.
Series
- Part 8 of Witcher works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,418
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 218
- Kudos:
- 4,011
- Bookmarks:
- 583
- Hits:
- 56,141
Bookmarked by Month
17 Sep 2024
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Steve wakes up--in a pool lounger--to Billy Hargrove looming over him. Billy pushes his sunglasses down and Steve thinks sleepily that it must be so that Steve gets the full impact of Billy’s narrow-eyed glare. “Harrington,” Billy says. “We’re fucking closed.”
(or, three times Billy doesn't let Steve touch the radio and one time he kind of does).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,654
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 66
- Kudos:
- 3,202
- Bookmarks:
- 381
- Hits:
- 20,881
Bookmarked by Month
15 Sep 2024
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Bluegrass Covers of the Song of Solomon by notbecauseofvictories
Fandoms: Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band (Song)
04 Jan 2020
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Summary
A man went down to the crossroads looking for forgiveness, God, and the blues—not in that particular order—and found the Devil instead. So the Devil tuned his guitar and made him the best bluesman in the world, and all it cost was his soul, which was taking up too much room inside him anyway.
(Other times, the man at the crossroads isn't looking for God at all.)
Series
Bookmarked by Month
15 Sep 2024
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Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,602
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 893
- Kudos:
- 6,662
- Bookmarks:
- 2,286
- Hits:
- 104,978
Bookmarked by Month
15 Sep 2024
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“You’re always… around,” Sam says lamely, gesturing vaguely as though it will make his point more clear. “You shouldn’t — don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Sure,” Gabriel replies after a beat, shrugging. “Whole world and then some at my fingertips, kiddo.”
So why are you here with me? Sam doesn’t ask. Instead he takes a breath, ignores the part of him that wants to hold onto Gabriel so tight his fingers sink through flesh and sear into bone, and says, “I think you should do other things more often.”
Bookmarked by Month
15 Sep 2024
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"These are flowers," Steve says, staring at Billy's extended bouquet. Billy holds them away from his body like they personally offend him, like he doesn't know why the fuck he's holding them, and honestly--
"What else would they fucking be?" Billy says.
Steve might be the stupidest person alive, because he nearly says flowers again before his brain catches up with his mouth. It’s cold on his front porch. The sky above threatens snow. He asks, "Where did you get them?"
Who gave them to you? Who are they for?
"The store, Harrington, where people buy flowers." He shoves them in Steve's direction, stiff-armed. "Are you going to take them or what?"
Bookmarked by Month
14 Sep 2024
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Frank Koscianski wants to buy a used Camaro, but borrowing a truck with a tow hitch puts him back in touch with his former best friend, Daniel Greenberg. Now, Frank’s a small-town plumber and Danny’s a brilliant kid in his final year of college—the four days they spend together getting the Camaro home will test their remaining ties of friendship.
Series
- Part 3 of Author’s Favorites
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,526
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 208
- Bookmarks:
- 53
- Hits:
- 2,056
Bookmarked by Month
14 Sep 2024
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How to befriend your fellow survivor by Loccorocco
Fandoms: Original Work, Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead (Video Game)
26 May 2021
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Summary
A comic about two men surviving quietly at the edge of a city. Mostly domestic stories about scavenging for supplies and trust issues. Sometimes there are zombies.
Series
Bookmarked by Month
12 Sep 2024
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“如果你不杀朕，你的孩子会成为下一任皇帝。”
“呸，老子才不会去搞皇后，去死吧卖老婆的人渣！”
“不是皇后，是朕。”
“……诶？”完结啦！有番外。顺带一提笔名其实不是jijuta是@星河蛋挞
- Language:
- 中文-普通话 國語
- Words:
- 13,931
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 228
- Kudos:
- 1,619
- Bookmarks:
- 127
- Hits:
- 49,466
Bookmarked by Month
11 Sep 2024
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A guy could be doing worse for himself these days. Benny Zalman makes his living behind the bar of the Bearcat Club, pouring sugar on bathtub gin and busting heads when the room gets rowdy. One night is pretty much like the next—until the club hires a new piano player who unexpectedly sets Benny’s heart swinging.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 241
- Bookmarks:
- 76
- Hits:
- 1,715
Bookmarked by Month
11 Sep 2024
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Summary
Do not fall in love with faeries. Or, In Which Aisling Fails Step One.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,540
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 190
- Kudos:
- 2,773
- Bookmarks:
- 1,030
- Hits:
- 30,828
Bookmarked by Month
09 Sep 2024
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Summary
It's like this: Maverick and the Iceman make bets, sometimes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,954
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 134
- Kudos:
- 2,722
- Bookmarks:
- 433
- Hits:
- 18,517
Bookmarked by Month
07 Sep 2024
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thirst is all i know (you will be the water) by susiecarter for Prinzenhasserin
Fandoms: Original Work
27 Jul 2018
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Summary
Damianos is being sent to the prince of Kumat, who will take him as a husband; this is among the terms of the treaty that will end the war at last. Unless, presumably, he displeases the prince and is executed, which seems to him as though it is all too likely. But perhaps they will only dislike each other a little. Perhaps the prince will find Damianos's looks to his taste, and be willing to fuck Damianos at least the necessary once. That would not be so bad.
It is too improbable to be worth contemplating, that perhaps they will each please the other very much indeed, and like each other, and be happy. Far, far too improbable. And even if by some chance it were so—too many dangers would yet remain for it to have any hope of lasting.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,727
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 159
- Kudos:
- 1,302
- Bookmarks:
- 290
- Hits:
- 13,473
Bookmarked by Month
07 Sep 2024
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i have named you queen (listen) by Damkianna for chasing_givenchy
Fandoms: Original Work
25 Apr 2017
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Summary
Grandmother ruled Gir Niajra, and always had.
Jummai felt certain this was so, mostly because it was impossible to imagine otherwise: anyone, anyone at all, seated so comfortably on that great golden throne except Grandmother? Anyone who could look or speak with such authority, to whom so many great and worthy people bowed down? No—only Grandmother. It had always been Grandmother, and it always would be.
Then Grandmother died; and there was a war.
(Or: Jummai is a princess without a throne—but she has no intention of leaving to others what is rightfully hers. She needs a wife with an army, and gets one; but her wife seems impervious to her tactical charm, she keeps making mistakes, and her cousin still wants her dead.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,713
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 230
- Kudos:
- 1,290
- Bookmarks:
- 503
- Hits:
- 17,282
Bookmarked by Month
07 Sep 2024