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When Albus makes a discovery in the Muggle Studies classroom, he may have found the solution to finally uncursing the DADA position. All it's going to take is the cooperation of all of magical Britain as Hogwarts embarks on its most unusual year yet.
Come for the crack, stay for a knife-wielding Molly, Bellatrix on community service, and Hagrid raising a baby dementor.
This fic is written as part of the Cultober 2023 challenge with chapters posted (more or less) daily.
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On that fateful Halloween night, when the Killing Curse rebounded and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, it latched itself onto a new vessel.
No, not Harriet Potter.
A cat.
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prongs: SHUT UP AND LET HIM ADD LILY
padfoot: NO ONE IS STOPPING HIM IDIOT????
prongs: KILL YOURSELF??????
moony added lily to the chat
padfoot: anyways james man thanks so much for lending me ur lambo and also £300 on top of the £500 charity donation you insisted i match ur a great friend
wormy: yeah man and thanks for letting me borrow all your feminist literature! i would return it but given you’re 6’4 the shelves in your house might be too tall for me to reach :( just make sure you pick them up next time we’re doing our bonding and mental health check in!
padfoot: you’re also really good at sex james
moony: Jesus Christ
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or, worlds worst chatfic
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Voldemort never thought he would discover another parselmouth much less two and to find that one of his most trusted was sworn to protect Potter? Well at least he wasn't insane any more. The pair weren't going anywhere now that he had his hands on them.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,066
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 541
- Kudos:
- 3,014
- Bookmarks:
- 995
- Hits:
- 90,765
Bookmarked by LokitheVoid
01 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Alright story but should have major warnings for very pernicious religious indoctrination and constant talk of Christianity as well as extremely frequent and disturbing discussion of spanking as acceptable corporal punishment for a knowingly abused child (voldy and Snape discussing disciplining Harry)
Read at your own risk -
Death is but the Next Great Adventure by TheObsidianQuill
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Aug 2021
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What if that night in Godric's Hollow went differently? What if Harry did die? What if Death stepped in and made a deal with the Savior of the Wizarding World? How different would Harry's life be after that deal?
(Or, Harry makes a deal with Death and in exchange gains something Voldemort has fought his entire life for. Immortality. And a strange friendship with Death)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 288,894
- Chapters:
- 61/?
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 2,948
- Kudos:
- 16,217
- Bookmarks:
- 4,783
- Hits:
- 522,191
Bookmarked by LokitheVoid
31 Dec 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
57
It feels like half a chapter got deleted or something?!?! -
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Summary
Harry was supposed to pick- move on and be with his parents, or go back to finish the battle with Voldemort. But even Dumbledore doesn't know everything, and Harry finds that there are actually a lot more options than those two.
Harry wants more than what he got. He wants a home. He wants a family. He wants a chance to be happy. He isn't sure he deserves all that, but he's going to try anyway. If only to spite Dumbledore and Voldemort's plans both.
OR: Harry Potter wakes up ten years old but with all of his memories from age seventeen. He immediately begins to make Mistakes.
Series
- Part 1 of time and other illusions