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Summary
“Philza Minecraft," Dream says, slowly. There's a hard edge to his voice. "What's a man like you doing in a place like this?”
Dream is still there, still a threat, still banishing his sword, but the threat of swords crumble in the threat of obsidian wings. And the threat of obsidian wings crumbles in the threat of another sword being unsheathed and a gait too heavy to be any of the people from L’Manburg that come from behind Tubbo.
“He is not the only one,” a voice rumbles from behind—deep, echoing, and terrifying. “He’s just the flashiest.”
Tubbo looks up and wishes he’s surprised to meet the eyes of the Blood God.
Or: The SMP has no idea exactly who Tommy and Wilbur’s family is.
So imagine their surprise when—after Wilbur enlists his family to come help finish the war between L’Manburg and the Greater Dream SMP—it’s not another scrappy nobody with a too loud mouth and too many dreams that shows up in the midst of war. No, instead, Wilbur and Tommy’s family happen to be Technoblade, the Blood God, and Philza fucking Minecraft.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,723
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 63
- Kudos:
- 1,886
- Bookmarks:
- 395
- Hits:
- 10,446
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
10 Jan 2025
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peter parker's guide on secret identity fails by blueh
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
28 Sep 2019
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Summary
Peter is caught, half way in his spider-suit when Mr. Harrington walks through the door.
Peter stares at him, eyes wide. Mr. Harrington stares back.
“I, uh, there’s an attack downtown and I..?”
“Go,” Mr. Harrington says with all the exasperation of teaching a high school vigilante and, in turn, breaking just about every single school rule there ever is. “I’ll cover for you.”
“Please tell Ms. Warren I’m sorry about missing her test next period and that I promise I’ll—”
“Peter,” Mr. Harrington says. “I’ll handle the academics. You go save the world.”
also known as: sometimes a family is eight high school decathlon team members, their teacher, and Spider-Man.
Series
- Part 2 of arachnid decathlon
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,657
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 383
- Kudos:
- 12,490
- Bookmarks:
- 1,499
- Hits:
- 107,346
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
10 Jan 2025
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Summary
The phantom thief Kaitou Kid has returned. No-one knows who he is or where he goes when not on heists, but Hakuba Saguru has a theory. Meanwhile Kuroba Kaito has been losing time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,048
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 347
- Bookmarks:
- 72
- Hits:
- 2,378
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
06 Jan 2025
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One for sorrow two for joy by Dissenter
Fandoms: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
15 Dec 2019
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Summary
Kaito is the Kaitou Kid. So is Aoko. Together they commit crime.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,555
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 369
- Kudos:
- 1,152
- Bookmarks:
- 373
- Hits:
- 20,747
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
06 Jan 2025
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Summary
“Okie-dokes.” Kuroba shakes himself, and then turns to wave at the waiting group of suspects and witnesses with a reassuring smile. They stare blankly at him.
“They’re traumatized, Kaito-san.”
“I know. That’s why I’m being nice.”
Shinichi grabs Kuroba’s jacket and starts yanking him toward the group, ignoring his annoyed muttering. In Kuroba’s defense, he’s very good at looking reassuring. It’s just a lot less effective when he’s standing next to the corpse.
——————
When a magician seemingly murders an audience member in the middle of a show, no one but Conan can even begin to figure out all the tricks of this case. Naturally, Megure talks to Nakamori, who recommends the one and only magic expert that he knows: Kuroba Kaito.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,016
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 158
- Kudos:
- 1,182
- Bookmarks:
- 368
- Hits:
- 8,958
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
05 Jan 2025
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when you hit disaster, the answer will be yours to find by faerynova
Fandoms: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
02 Nov 2021
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Summary
Kaito leaps from one rooftop to another, fleeing the scene of the heist. It’s not a hard jump.
He falls.
He can’t feel his legs.
Series
- Part 2 of Wheel of Fortune
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,736
- Chapters:
- 57/57
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 458
- Kudos:
- 703
- Bookmarks:
- 102
- Hits:
- 15,747
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
05 Jan 2025
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Adopting a Thief by Sinnatious
Fandoms: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
31 Oct 2021
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Summary
"You mentioned you were impersonated by a lookalike?”
“You think Kaitou KID is my long-lost brother?!”
For Shinichi, it was an amazing discovery. For Kaito, it shattered everything he thought he knew.
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
05 Jan 2025
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Secrets In Indigo by Sinnatious
Fandoms: 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed, Magic Kaito
20 Apr 2019
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Summary
A throwaway comment about Kaitou KID’s eye colour sets Kaito on an uncomfortable path of discovery.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,349
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 134
- Kudos:
- 1,923
- Bookmarks:
- 597
- Hits:
- 15,740
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
04 Jan 2025
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Summary
Zuko is not lucky.
On the day of the Agni Kai, Zuko fails to divert enough of Azula's lightning from his heart to save his life. He dies- but this is not the end. Because Zuko is unlucky, but he is Agni's favorite... and the sun spirit is more than happy to give the Fire Prince one more shot at life.
A baby in the Si Wong desert draws their first breath.
Series
- Part 1 of living requiem
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
10 Dec 2024
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Summary
Jason Todd has been dead for almost three years now. Everybody knows this. Tim definitely knows this.
And yet here he is now, looking very much alive, three years older and approximately 200 pounds heavier, in the middle of lecturing a bunch of sophomores about poetry and having just introduced himself as their new English teacher.
Bullshit, Tim thinks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,840
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 252
- Kudos:
- 4,905
- Bookmarks:
- 960
- Hits:
- 27,819
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
02 Dec 2024
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Summary
She’s fifteen when it happens. Jinx has no one to blame but herself and her own curiosity, but in her defense, Sevika got drunk and just wouldn’t shut up about all the fun she got up to in Babette’s brothel. And in the Undercity, kids don’t stay kids for long. Jinx has grown up around this nonsense for years. So she bites the proverbial bullet and decides to see what all the fuss is about.
“It was one time!” Jinx complains in sheer disbelief. “It wasn’t even that good!”
Series
- Part 1 of Ankle-Biter
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,695
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 917
- Kudos:
- 6,145
- Bookmarks:
- 1,435
- Hits:
- 94,259
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
01 Dec 2024
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if the ground below us turned to dust would you come to me? by Charlie_Balle
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
27 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Who are you to Jinx?” Vi’s voice was desperate, face pinched in distress.
Isha didn’t know. She didn’t have an answer. Jinx was her protector. Her sword and shield. She kept Isha safe and happy. She fed her and clothed her and gave her a whole place to sleep. Isha got toys and to play games. Jinx was safety and security and love.
She didn’t have a sign for it. There was never a need. It was Isha and Jinx and that was enough for them.
//
Jinx once told Isha that if she ever got into a tight spot, she could go to an address topside and look for the girl with pink hair. Isha had no idea who the pink-haired woman was, but when Jinx was kidnapped, Isha had to reach out for help, hoping the mysterious woman would help get Jinx back.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,355
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 235
- Kudos:
- 5,957
- Bookmarks:
- 1,130
- Hits:
- 50,874
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
01 Dec 2024
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Across the Sands by Lulu_Rhythm for LadyOctavia
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days
26 Jul 2024
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Summary
Jason Todd wakes up every morning in a desert compound. Trapped. Empty. Alone. He doesn't remember much, but it doesn't matter, because one thing is for certain.
He has an infant to protect.
Series
- Part 1 of Across The Sands
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 173,995
- Chapters:
- 65/65
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 7,143
- Kudos:
- 7,311
- Bookmarks:
- 1,828
- Hits:
- 220,151
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
29 Nov 2024
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Summary
Zuko doesn’t have time to deal with pressure for an arranged marriage, especially since he isn’t even sure he likes women that way. (A realisation that has absolutely nothing to do with Ambassador Sokka - shut up, Suki.) Katara and Aang have broken up again, and the Northern Water Tribe are pushing for a match between the North and South.
Which leads Zuko and Katara to develop a genius, foolproof, only slightly drunken plan: they can pretend to date for the length of Katara’s stay in the palace, giving them both a brief reprieve from political pressures on their love lives.
What could go wrong?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,649
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 480
- Kudos:
- 5,866
- Bookmarks:
- 1,313
- Hits:
- 45,899
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
26 Nov 2024
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Summary
Iroh is tired when he heads to his quarters to write a letter to the rest of his family in the Fire Nation. So tired, in fact, that he accidentally implies in it that the knife is meant for his niece and the doll for his nephew. Azula and Ursa don’t notice the mistake.
Zuko, however, does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,388
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 139
- Kudos:
- 7,135
- Bookmarks:
- 1,246
- Hits:
- 36,503
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
26 Nov 2024
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in the cold light of earliest spring by jenmishe
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
05 Jan 2023
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Summary
It is quite foolish of him, he thinks, gently caressing the petal between his fingers. This state he finds himself in, the way he grew fond of no more than mere soldier, a mere means to an end. A Contract to end All Contracts, and yet he went for friendship, charmed by youthfulness and pure curiosity.
Zhongli’s not stupid nor ignorant; he’s sure of what he’s looking at, even though it seems ridiculous, offensive. Some deep, deep prideful part of him rumbles at the thought of it, enraged and furious.
(Or: A six thousand year old god falls in love for the first time. It is as painful as it sounds.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,568
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 118
- Kudos:
- 1,465
- Bookmarks:
- 372
- Hits:
- 16,168
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
25 Nov 2024
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Super Reporter Billy Batson by Jam5
Fandoms: DCU (Comics), DCU, DC Extended Universe, Shazam! | Captain Marvel (Comics), The Adventures of Captain Marvel (1941), Superman - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Justice League of America (Comics), Super Friends (DCU Cartoons), Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Justice League (2017), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
28 Dec 2023
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Summary
Little Billy Batson has just been transformed into a grown man - the superhero Captain Marvel. Thrown into a crazy new world of super heroics, the little boy embraces his new life and the responsibilities that come with it.
Series
- Part 1 of Super Reporters
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,114
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 144
- Kudos:
- 716
- Bookmarks:
- 103
- Hits:
- 13,908
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
22 Nov 2024
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The King Of Magic by WingsOfTheDamned
Fandoms: Justice League - All Media Types, Shazam! | Captain Marvel (Comics), Shazam! (Movies - Sandberg)
11 May 2024
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Summary
A demon that feeds off of magic wrecks havoc, the League summons the Champion of Magic, unaware of who this might be and definitely not expecting the familiar face that greets them
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
22 Nov 2024
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Summary
Jinx did it.
She killed Silco. The only one who loved her in this world.
She managed to jinx him too. The last thing she remembers is blind rage, cries of desperation from her "sister", and the loud sound of Fishbones as she shot the Council.
Then, she woke up as Powder. Just before everything began and went downhile.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,946
- Chapters:
- 15/?
- Comments:
- 508
- Kudos:
- 2,560
- Bookmarks:
- 525
- Hits:
- 54,898
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
21 Nov 2024
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base violence necessary {Arcane AU} by hunnydew
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
05 Jan 2025
Tags
Summary
When Powder finally succeeds for once, she excitedly picks herself up from the blast and races to find her big sister. The situation becomes all the more hopeless as Marcus snatches the searching girl up as the bait to please the Piltover system - leaving the two sisters a world apart.
An alternate universe where Powder is jailed instead of Vi.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,225
- Chapters:
- 11/?
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 1,607
- Bookmarks:
- 292
- Hits:
- 38,078
Bookmarked by DumbestofAsses
21 Nov 2024