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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind.

    ETA: Podfic available here from Kninjaknitter my darling dearest


    “Hello,” says the strangest voice Ed’s ever heard, jolting him out of his reverie, sending his heart speeding into chaos.

    He opens his eyes and he’s staring straight at a stuffed animal in the shape of a human person. It is bald with a tiny hat and too-big eyes and it wears a blue shirt and a name tag that says Jeffy in the sort of scrawl normally reserved for words written in blood.

    A puppet, he realizes several seconds beyond when it would have been appropriate to respond.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,761
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,600
    Kudos:
    1,657
    Bookmarks:
    556
    Hits:
    29,279

    10 Jun 2024

  2. Rec 57

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    While they’ve begun to carve out a fulfilling life on the island together, Ed is having a hard time dealing with the past. He wants to marry Stede, but doesn’t feel like he can even ask.

    A character study exploring how Ed processes, learns to sit with himself, and falls more in love every day with Stede.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,155
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    130
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    1,855

    24 Mar 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "I feel,” Aziraphale begins, then immediately falters, hands starting up a familiar fidget. “I still feel as if.” He swallows unnecessarily, and then finally confesses, “It’s just that I still feel a tremendous deal of shame. Over. Over everything.”

    Crowley snorts, turning back to his newspaper in a last ditch effort to avoid wherever this is going. “I believe the kids are calling it ‘Catholic guilt’ these days, Angel.”

    Aziraphale’s face scrunches up with distaste. “We’re hardly Catholic, my dear.”

     

    *

    After everything, Crowley and Aziraphale attempt to mend the holes in their relationship. They go about it as haphazardly as they do everything else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,676
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    502
    Bookmarks:
    117
    Hits:
    4,833

    01 Jan 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Apparently, Crowley could ruin his good mood. Crowley was just about the only thing that could ruin it.
    “Right. So. You and I, is it?” Aziraphale confirmed, just to be clear.
    “That’s right.”
    “And how long is this trip, exactly?”
    “One full week,” Crowley enunciated too clearly, stretching his lips around the words and sharply clacking his k. “Seven whole days.”
    “Great,” Aziraphale breathed.
    They both smiled, all teeth and no joy.

    (Human AU / Enemies to Lovers) • English Teacher Aziraphale gets roped into the sixth form Paris field trip, not realising his worst enemy Science Teacher Crowley is the accompanying chaperone. Are seven days of forced proximity really enough to undo a truly vitriolic relationship? Or, let's be real: How quickly does it take them to fall head over heels for each other?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,954
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    975
    Kudos:
    4,394
    Bookmarks:
    1,011
    Hits:
    59,565

    29 Nov 2023

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    After Aziraphale goes back to Heaven with the Metatron, Crowley reflects.

    And 4,400 years ago in 2407 BC, in the city of Uruk in ancient Sumer, he and Aziraphale fall in love with humanity, and each other.

    -

    “What are you doing here?” asked Aziraphale.

    Crowley lifted an eyebrow and felt himself start to smile. “I should ask you the same. What are you thinking, coming here with your wings out and the blessed light of Heaven raining down upon you? You’re scaring the mortals.”

    Aziraphale blushed. Crowley dutifully looked away. It felt disrespectful not to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,960
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    388
    Bookmarks:
    156
    Hits:
    5,775

    19 Nov 2023

  6. Rec 37

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    Summary

    Alma Bonnet is a newly-thirteen, bold and intrepid child, and in the process of coming into her own as a teen, she has stowed away on her father's pirate ship.

    When Alma is discovered, now a many-weeks-long journey away from Barbados, wearing a fake beard and clothes that are much too big for her, Ed and Stede must change their plans in order to return her back home, going from fierce pirates to unwitting caretakers.

    Alma's unique charm, wit, and child-like sense of adventure brings out a softer, more protective side in Ed and Stede, who struggle between protecting Alma from the more dangerous aspects of pirate life and letting her find her burgeoning independence.

    Alma's presence makes Ed and Stede reflect upon their own childhoods, and reminds them that "coming of age" never really stops.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,785
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    1,620

    19 Nov 2023

  7. Rec 59

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    Summary

    Soon after their moonlit kiss, Stede gets a leg cramp in the middle of the night. Ed helps him feel better.

    (Speculative fic; set shortly after events of season 2 episode 5 “The Curse of the Seafaring Life.”)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    411
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    2,296

    11 Nov 2023

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The Serpent of Eden happens to catch the Angel of the Eastern Gate fondling himself under the Tree of Knowledge, and he becomes very curious about it. Shenanigans ensue as two immortal idiots awkwardly (but enthusiastically) try to figure out their own bodies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,058
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    795
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    8,643

    11 Oct 2023

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale has never met anyone else who can so eloquently convey the embodiment of a nonchalant shrug with a quirk of their mouth alone, but Crowley succeeds in doing just that before getting up and sauntering off into the sitting room. Goodness, the sway of his hips when he walks is so unnecessary. A distraction that frankly shouldn’t be allowed.

    He lasts thirty-seven minutes before rescheduling their ‘evening’ appointment to ‘imminent’ and informing Crowley there’s been a change of plan.

    (or: Crowley stumbles upon Aziraphale’s private book collection, and revelations are had of the non-biblical kind)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,667
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    428
    Kudos:
    6,455
    Bookmarks:
    1,411
    Hits:
    62,537

    22 Sep 2023

  10. Rec *

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    Summary

    “Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault.

    Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap.

    When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks.

    Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    966
    Kudos:
    7,131
    Bookmarks:
    2,318
    Hits:
    80,033

    20 Sep 2023

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Heaven dispatches a Grigori to monitor any "suspicious activity" between Aziraphale and a certain agent of Hell.

    (Now Season 2 compliant!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,639
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    741
    Bookmarks:
    142
    Hits:
    5,338

    19 Sep 2023

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Jesus fucking Christ, he’s in love with Crowley.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    754
    Kudos:
    11,164
    Bookmarks:
    3,058
    Hits:
    125,294

    29 Aug 2023

  13. Rec *

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    Summary

    There’s a battle strategy devised by humans many millennia ago that's designed to overcome an adversary who is particularly well entrenched. Some walls are too tall and thick for a frontal assault, and must instead be bested through sheer dogged stubbornness.

    Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t know it, but they were about to be put under siege.

     

    Fed up with an angel and a demon who are still avoiding any talk of Feelings, God starts to interfere. When it comes to the ineffable plan, sometimes things need a bit of a push.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    490
    Kudos:
    6,016
    Bookmarks:
    1,357
    Hits:
    52,560

    23 Aug 2023

  14. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale Z. Fell is a rising star of the spiritual literary genre - the next Eat Pray Love guy - and his version of Chicken Soup For the Christian Soul is flying off the shelves. It's not that he's not grateful, but it's one thing to enjoy a career in writing and another completely to be pigeonholed into a specific genre, so much so that you are almost forbidden from writing anything else.
    So yes, maybe he has a bit of a secret. An outlet for his less... appropriate urges. And yes, if his typical readership got word of the sort of paragraphs he could put out on a particularly inspired night, they might suffer some form of heart attack typical for their age.
    But all of that is well hidden, and there is absolutely no way anyone would ever find out about his Arrangement with A.J. Crowley - the most debaucherous romantic fiction author of the decade.
    That is... until they have to pretend to be married to each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    117,728
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    2,404
    Kudos:
    4,805
    Bookmarks:
    1,453
    Hits:
    92,730

    22 Aug 2023

  15. Rec *

    Summary

    For three centuries, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has tried to find a way to restore him to his true self, but all he seems to do is hurt them both. This time, he only means to steal a brief moment when he walks into Crowley's flower shop. But Crowley can't let it go...

    Words:
    65,836
    Works:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    4,840

    03 Aug 2023

  16. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    This is light speed in comparison to the last few centuries of their relationship, but Crowley is barely holding on to his patience.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,380
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,548
    Kudos:
    9,627
    Bookmarks:
    2,084
    Hits:
    111,127

    26 Jul 2023

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,114
    Kudos:
    20,083
    Bookmarks:
    5,452
    Hits:
    126,293

    25 Jul 2023

  18. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity.

     

    The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,548
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    850
    Kudos:
    10,788
    Bookmarks:
    2,562
    Hits:
    93,745

    25 Jul 2023

  19. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    After a bizarre confrontation with Hastur and one really bad cup of tea, Crowley finds himself in an alternate universe wherein he's back to being the archangel Raphael, there's no Arrangement, and Aziraphale is actively trying to discorporate him.

    The worst part?

    Every time Aziraphale succeeds in offing him, and "Raphael" is returned to earth with a new body, the day resets. It's always the same doomed Wednesday, over and over and over again.

    Getting into this time-loop was an accident; getting out and back home again (if Crowley ever manages it) will have to be something entirely else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,168
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    167
    Kudos:
    766
    Bookmarks:
    211
    Hits:
    10,088

    24 Jul 2023

  20. Rec *

    Words:
    6,130
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    533

    22 Jul 2023

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