CaptainMaxMagno
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Summary
Please, Buck, come home to us.
"Eds," Buck sobs, raking a hand through his hair, pulling on the strands, "fuck, I'm so sorry."
He's talking to an empty room, like a lunatic, the voice in his head a recording of Eddie's that plays on a loop inside his skull. After all, he knows his voice, his inflection, his cadence, could pick it out anywhere, so it's no feat to imagine the sound of it shaping that plea, the hollowness and ache and heartbreak edging each syllable he reads on the paper.
I don't have a backup plan. You are my backup plan, Buck.
The guilt is like barbed wire now, wrapping itself around his lungs, spikes embedding themselves in the flesh. It hurts, it fucking hurts, but it's nothing compared to what Eddie must have felt.
I don’t know how to do this, Buck. I don’t know how to keep going if you’re not here.
Or, Buck finds a letter in Eddie’s closet, written during his coma. Everything spirals from there.
Bookmarked by CaptainMaxMagno
25 Nov 2024
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Because Eddie Diaz is top of his class at compartmentalizing, but, not when it’s Evan Buckley they’re talking about.
Another pop-up window.
This time there’s no talking involved. Just…
Buck making gingerbread houses with Christopher on their coffee table.
And Buck waiting with him for Christopher to slide down the pole at the station during his first visit.
OR: Buck gets shot to protect Eddie, gets stuck on a bomb and gets a boyfriend. All in a day. Meanwhile, Eddie recalls their whole friendship before he realizes that it’s actually been a relationship all along.
Bookmarked by CaptainMaxMagno
30 Oct 2024
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Summary
Eddie marveled at the stone sculptures. He stood enraptured, whilst the other museum visitors easily moved from one art piece to the next. He settled on that sculpture, the two bodies closely melded together. His heart beat stuttered in quick succession in his chest. He wondered did they feel as he felt, this solid immovable force? Did they desire to live beyond those museum walls, full of crown molding and marbled floors? Or were they content, captured in a lover's embrace immortalized forever?
Buck walked toward him, broad shoulders bumping against his. Face turned upward to the sculpture of two lovers, he tilted his head down in Eddie's direction.
"You're just like 'em you know," he said.
Eddie felt fear seize in his chest, eyes flickering up at the statue once more.
With further prompting and the ghost of a smile on reddened lips---from the berry hibiscus tea---he continued by saying, "You're softness made of stone."
And with a soft exhalation, that sounded like a prayer, Buck added, "And just as beautiful."
OR
Where Eddie realizes he can't outrun the things that hurt him, but damn does he try.
Series
Bookmarked by CaptainMaxMagno
28 Oct 2024
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Summary
Truth was a prickly thing, Eddie had learned to discover. There were all of these rules when it came to speaking the truth. Use it too casually and it came out as a weapon. Use it too little, and you run the risk of being seen as a liar.
When Eddie used it growing up, it was an arsenal waiting to go off. He knew what to say to get under someone’s skin. He was careful with his words, especially with his family. When he was stressed, the truth came out as a dagger. Sharp and deep.
Shannon had been cut by him too often. She bled out too much to risk staying longer than she had to. And so she left. Eddie didn’t deserve her. Not anymore.
Then there was the type of truth that felt like a lie.
This truth changed every aspect of someone’s life, and thus was ignored instantly. Like the truth that someone was attracted to both men and women. This truth took too long to admit as truth.
Then there was the truth that stayed hunkered down until it snuck out when they least expected it. Like telling the love of your life that you were leaving your second home. That you were unhappy.
Somehow, this truth felt like all three mixed into one. He hadn’t meant it to hurt Buck, nor meant it to be a lie.
Series
- Part 6 of Solemn Vows
Bookmarked by CaptainMaxMagno
28 Oct 2024
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Summary
Eddie knew Buck was looking at moving out of the loft. “I’m not a 30-year-old bachelor anymore. I don’t need a damn loft,” he had said a few weeks ago, when he mentioned over dinner and beer that his lease was up in January.
Eddie thought it had meant moving into an apartment that had more than one room. Maybe a one-bedroom kind of thing, with south-facing windows because Eddie knows Buck loves the warmth in winter and a big kitchen because he also knows Buck loves cooking.
But buying a house is a big commitment, and Buck’s kept it a secret from Eddie and it makes his stomach turn in on itself. Buck is gushing about the house, flicking through photos and showing the team and Eddie can’t help but notice the listing’s description.
Beautiful family home with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a double car garage.
Buck buys a house. Eddie spirals about what it means for them.
Bookmarked by CaptainMaxMagno
28 Oct 2024