1 - 20 of 38 Works in Wilbur Soot is a Parent I'd Like to Fuck

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Fire can be either extremely helpful or extremely harmful, depending on the person using it. In this case, Wilbur is able to find a way to make his blazing passion both, much to Schlatt’s displeasure. When Wilbur’s simple taunting of the king of methamphetamine distribution turns into a battle of insults, wits and corpses, will Schlatt be able to keep to keep his vision focused?

    Or, more importantly, will the two be able to stop a lover and a brother from becoming victims of this twisted play?

    ——————————————-

    Schlatt and Wilbur are both drug lords in their own right. One prefers tailored waistcoats and the other favours falling apart jumpers. Will their dance of death be so literal? Or will it be a funeral for pride?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    188,092
    Chapters:
    45/50
    Comments:
    165
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    10,775
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Revivebur walks in on Ghostbur wearing thigh highs and gets a boner, then he rides his thighs like a fucking whore.

    Cross uploaded on Wattpad and Ao3!!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,103
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    28
    Hits:
    988
  3. Tags
    Summary

    tallulah: "change my nappy!"
    wilbur: rapres uou rapes tou rape s you

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,474
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    8,310
  4. Tags
    Summary

    ORIGINALLY CREATED AND UPLOADED BY ME TO WATTPAD UNDER THE USER NUMBERONEADDYSIMP!

    ————————————
    Quackity and Tommy take a trip down memory lane as they take a look at some of Wilbur's childhood journals, the two learn a bit about why Wilbur killed himself, and learn a bit about Wilbur's past too. Quackity also discovers some newfound feelings for the dead man.
    ————————————
    WARNING:
    -Mentions of Rape/Forced Impregnation (It’s only slight, but still)
    -Mentions of Suicide
    -There’s barely any comfort, like at all
    -Trans Male Wilbur Soot and implications of it throughout the story
    -Theres going to be a few small hints of Wilbur using Xenogenders and neopronouns, if you don’t like that, just don’t read, don’t hate!
    -If your looking for sweet happy Quackbur. Your not in the right place.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,246
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    887
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Grief is a funny thing. The heavy, tangled up knot that you don't remember swallowing. Something dark and bitter that climbs back up your throat every so often just to remind you that it's there. Some people got good at biting it back. Some people got to wash it down with lemonade and laughter and friends to fall back on. Some even learned how to let it come. To let the knot past their lips and untie it. Some people were only passing companions with grief, but others were worse.

    Quackity and Charlie were worse.

    Over a year since his daughter died and Quackity was regretting his career choices. All the bitterness he brought with him to school now. All the misdirected anger towards parents; mornings drowning the smell of alcohol in gum and cologne. He was a sorry sight, as was Charlie. Charlie, who was living in Quackity's basement because he couldn't face his husband (or himself). Charlie, who hadn't managed a job since paying for their kids' funerals. Charlie, who was probably going to kill himself one of these days if they weren't careful. So, yeah. Some people were worse.

    Enter a new school year, hot parents, and a very determined husband trying to teach these two that grief doesn't have to be forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,134
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    145
    Kudos:
    688
    Bookmarks:
    93
    Hits:
    12,274
  6. Tags
    Summary

    No tengo todo calculado
    Ni mi vida resuelta

    I don’t have everything figured out
    Or my life resolved

    or

    Wilbur ventures out to the forests of Quesadilla island looking for presents for his daughter. Instead he finds a grave and a broken sleeping man.

    So he takes him home.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,524
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1,348
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A story where Tallulah is a teenager, and she discovers her forgotten mother and brother on her 16th birthday, she slowly starts to figure out her fathers old life, as opposed to who he is now, and she is obviously having some thoughts about who her father is.
    --
    This is my first fan fic-
    (And pretend Wilburs age in this is like 26, and not his canon age which is like 42, and the eggs, which are now hatched, are all still alive).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,371
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    577
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “I used to hope and pray with all my heart for your return, but now that you’re here I’m not sure if it’s really you who I missed or just the person I thought you were.”

    You were my everything. My love, my dream. That dream was shattered, and so my heart hardened over. I moved on, and you became someone else.

    Until one day, the love she thought she had lost shows up at her door.

     

    WILBUR IS ENDGAME IN THIS FIC DESPITE ANYTHING THAT MAY CONVINCE YOU OTHERWISE!!! I'M SORRY TECHNO SIMPS

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,752
    Chapters:
    24/25
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    341
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    15,225
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Wilbur mreows in displeasure, hissing at the tiny ginger kitten as he thrashes his paw against Tommy’s ear. Tommy only whines, snarling as he ducks and slaps his tail against Wilbur’s stomach. Wilbur trills, trying to subdue Tommy’s playful attitude, but the kitten only growls and mews.

    Eventually, the older cat caves—Tommy’s ears perk up as Wilbur begins to stalk his paw. Wilbur grabs Tommy’s paw and begins to bite on it softly — Tommy yowls, batting Wilbur’s sheathed claws away.

    Teeth sink into Tommy’s fur, and Tommy whines as he hits back with his claws. He rolls onto his back, tumbling as he pulls Wilbur with him.

    Wilbur mreows in displeasure, lifting himself elegantly. Tommy mews, backing away as he ducks himself to the ground.

    He mraws as he pounces on Wilbur, but before he can land, the bigger cat promptly shifts into a human. Tommy mews as his claws dig into the human’s shirt, and his ears droop to his skull as he mrews.

    Crimeboys being cats and humans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    253
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2,160
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “When was the last time you weren’t stressed, darling?” Wilbur asks, softly pressing his lips against Tommy’s scalp.

    Tommy doesn’t breathe, just curling into Wilbur’s chest as his shoulders hunch until they collide with his neck; he looks at his feet. It’s— it’s interesting to observe human behaviour, he’s not trying to avoid the topic—he’s not! It’s cool to see how his feet that wear polka-dotted, herb-green socks are pressed under Wilbur’s fuzzy, baby-blue, sheep-patterned own.

    “Fuck you,” Tommy mutters. “I can’t– I don’t know. My exams are coming up, though, it’s normal for me to–”

    “Exactly,” Techno interrupts calmly, their eyes wearing some indescribable expression “You don’t know. It’s never normal for you to feel so stressed that you don’t even remember the last time you were content.”

    “I am– I’m content.” Tommy counters. “I am. I swear, I am.”

    Techno rolls his eyes. “Mhm? If you’re so content,” They gently brush their palm under Tommy’s chin, curling their fingers around the boy’s jaw. “—why are you so stressed?”

    Exams are coming soon, and Tommy has to overwork himself to pass or he won't be loved.
    Twinsduo says "fuck that."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,858
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    462
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    4,050
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A random Af chatfic i made bc im tired

    If I get anything wrong medically, or i misrepresent a community, Please feel free to call me out in the comments (constructive criticism is always appreciated)

    Have Fun Reading :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    961
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,016
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Currently, he is panicking the fuck out. His back had just popped out a fresh pair of wings (he’s not sure what type, not that he cares) that are way too similar for Wilbur to not notice.

    “Tommy!” Wilbur’s voice rings from outside his door as there’s a loud knock on his door. “It’s time for breakfast!”

    He panics; it wasn’t like he would cover the wings, it was the middle of spring! He wouldn’t just put them away either; his powers weren’t powerful enough for him to retract his wings into his back.

    “I-I’ll be there in a second!” Tommy yells back. He doesn’t think he would hide them, but it wasn’t like Wilbur could see them either.

    Shapeshifter Tommy gains wings inspired by Wilbur's phantom wings, but he's terrified of Wilbur seeing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,800
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    751
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    5,878
  13. Tags
    Summary

    There are 2 types of people, people who are so focused on what ifs that they forget what reality really is. And people who live in the moment so much they don’t see what conciseness is until it hits them in the FACE!

    And most people would say they are both that they do both but that’s not true they may do both, but they will always go back to one in a life-or-death moment.

    So, what of Pogbur did die what would have happened. He likes to think about that reality but that’s not what happened he did survive Phil “killing” him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    776
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    20
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Distantly, he managed to hear a trembling voice from the door, turning his office chair around.

    His 8-year-old stood there, lip wobbling and puffy eyes with tear tracks running down them. Tommy’s golden curls looked untidy, blue eyes greyer with the lack of light but just as sweet. His shoulders shook, his favourite stuffed animal pressed deep into his chest, arms curled tight around them.

    “Tommy? What are you doing up?” Wilbur asked, eyes furrowing in concern. Tommy held back what sounded suspiciously like a choked sob, holding the animal up to his lips, and shaking his head slightly. “Okay. That’s fine. I’m just doing some work right now. Do you want to stay here while I finish it up?”

    Tommy quickly shuffled closer to Wilbur, crawling into his lap without hesitation. Wilbur cooed softly at the boy, adjusting him so he was comfortable but didn’t block the screen. He let Tommy stare at the screen intently, running a hand through his curls as he typed with the other one.

    Tommy comes to Wilbur's bedroom door, sobbing and sad. Wil figures out what's wrong and Tommy does cute child things :D

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    574
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    6,012
  15. Tags
    Summary

    In which Wilbur Soot is your father

    or

    (Y/n) has daddy issues

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,099
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    269
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Wilbur have finished all he needs to do on the SMP. All thats left is to die.

     

    (There is a tntduo alternative ending for tntduo enjoyers)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,288
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    685
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Before L'manburg, before General Soot, before the crater, was a young man and his brother, learning to live.

    "The kitchen counter glowed in the yellow light of the morning. The sun rose above the mountains east of the caravan, casting a soft glow through the rusted windows facing the dripping faucet. The countertops were once a beautiful maple, Will said so, but Tommy’s only seen the baby-food-stained, cracking, cluttered counter that now resides within the cramped kitchenette. Right above the toddler-sized step stool, which was nestled between the under-the-sink-cupboard and the old wooden highchair, Henry The Cow sat slumped."

    Or, Life in The Caravan before

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,006
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    804
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "The trio heard approaching footsteps, and all turned their heads to see-
    To see-

    Oh no. Oh no, no no.
    What the fuck was WILBUR doing here?

    Wilbur, his mortal enemy, the man who had continued to antagonise him and plague his very existence since the very day he first set foot in this town, the most insufferable and arrogant prick-

    Surely- surely this couldn’t be the guy Puffy was setting him up with!"

    -----------------------------------------

    Or, a classic rom-com-esque, blind dating TNT duo au because this ship lacks lighthearted comedic fics and I need comfort :))

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,543
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,626
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The story of a botanist and a prince of the cold, unforgiving tundra happens to parallel Hades and Persephone, not that they really care.

    OR

    Orpheus and Eurydice paralleled Hades and Persephone too, until they didn't.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,480
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    3,437
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A raven sits atop a window, wings flared like an omen as it watches him. They fold cautiously, beady eyes watching the scantily-clad male bend forward to gather his things, hauling a bag over his shoulder and exiting the bustling Gentleman's Club.

    The bird chatters quietly, a flock member landing next to it. The ravens weren't roosting at night, anymore. Instead, they became active at dusk, foraging and mobbing drunkards as they struggled to their cars.

    Nobody noticed the first signs until it was too late.

    (I have taken a break from writing this! I'd like some more time to gather my thoughts and adapt the plot better, sorry for the wait! It may be a few months before I pick this fic up again, I'm not sure.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,422
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1,187

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