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think like a hamster (or, nepo baby oliver loofah) by suitablysolemn for Impernia
Fandoms: Blaseball (Video Game)
11 Feb 2024
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Summary
After the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, things change in the Big Garage. As a team, you've settled into an uneasy routine; when the team goes to play an away game, some of the pitchers who aren't pitching stay back at the Big Garage with the Lil' Roadies to make sure no harm comes to them.
Your name is Arturo Huerta, and this is not what you signed up for.
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Blaseball doesn't end with a bang. It doesn't end with a whimper either. There is simply a sigh, a cosmic exhale of a breath long held, and Richardson Games rolling off of Oliver Loofah's sofa as he is abruptly no longer trapped being Buried.
The dead and the missing are falling from the sky, and there's reunions to be had. One of them is one Olive's been looking forward to for years now. They and Ivy Mason set off to meet up with Max Mason. This a totally normal road trip to be on.
Series
- Part 2 of records
- Part 4 of a tax-benefit marriage in name only
- Part 3 of liv, laugh, loof
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“my name is luis acevedo!” they grin widely, all teeth, and give her a bow. “it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, jon… halifax, was it? you’re more prepared than i thought any student of his would be.”
“you’ll find my teacher has little to do with my skill,” jon answers, brittle.
(in another universe: a vampire, a vampire hunter, and an immortal walk into a ballroom. it doesn't go as poorly as jon expects it to.)
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Luis brought it up delicately. Xir tongue traced xir razor teeth as xe picked out the words. “This life isn’t for everybody,” xe said at last. “You lose a lot.”
“I know,” she insisted.
“Everyone will outlive you.” Xe said it simply, but with an intensity that she hadn’t seen out of xem before. “Everyone.”
(Beck Whitney and immortality.)
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the idea that centuries of practice would make two immortals better at house-hunting is a complete and utter fallacy, as luis tells anyone who asks why it’s taken the better part of the offseason to find somewhere to settle down in ohio. “it only makes us worse,” xe informs enid over a cup of coffee, lightly poisoned. she takes a sip of her own and raises her eyebrows. “tot’s very picky.”
“and you aren’t?”
“i’d like to think of myself as a reasonable person!”
(snippets of the journey to a little house in the middle of ohio.)
Series
- Part 2 of bless the telephone
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Summary
the shelled one is eaten by the monitor, jaylen stands with the rest of the shelled one’s pods, and the persistent red-blue glows of both teams start to fade. the audio is turned off. luis has been narrating it all in hir ear, and ze prefers to hear hir voice over a detached reporter’s. “you alright, after all that?”
there’s a singular burst of static, and then dead silence. the phone beeps in hir hand, line dead, but hir eyes are locked on the tv.
the camera zooms in on the place where the crabs were only a moment ago, and all that’s left is scorched grass and three crabs in fridays-green.
luis is gone.
(tot clark and luis acevedo, from the end of season ten to the end of the world as we know it.)
Series
- Part 1 of bless the telephone
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Summary
Four people died on the Garages in Season 3. The end of it found Raúl and Randy on the roof of the Big Garage, Tot joining them late and tucking hir legs through the holes in the railing. Randy rolled an unlit blunt between his fingers, and Raúl hummed staticky party music, and none of them said a word until the sun was dipped in the horizon and it was only a little lighter than the eclipses get.
“People aren’t supposed to die while I’m alive.” Raúl’s voice was matter-of-fact, with no guilt or grief hidden in the folds of its echoing tones. It was mimicking Tot, that day, all flat affect and subtle twists. Sometimes it didn’t manage the twists. “When do we get to stop it?”
(randy marijuana retreats to the shadows. sam scandal is resurrected. scenes, from before/during/after it.)
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sorry i'm not home right now (i'm walking into spiderwebs) by baliset
Fandoms: Blaseball (Video Game)
19 Aug 2022
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Summary
so, it’s not that he’s avoiding malik, exactly.
granted, sure, shaq is absolutely doing that. but here’s the thing: the longer he puts off having to hear that same-but-different baritone on the line, the longer he keeps himself from accepting that call on the switchboard, that’s more time that he doesn’t have to spend thinking about his best friend being replaced by a malik from another reality.
(or: leave a message and i'll call you back.)
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it starts in season four, even if it only really escalates twenty or so years later, when haphazard lines to the trench are set up all across the league. it starts when malik destiny—catboy, pretty famous voice actor, and recently relocated to new reality, washington—finds out that shaquille torres is dead.
what the reporters will say later is that he took it “surprisingly well.”
the truth is, the moment malik found out, he had to excuse himself to the bathroom to throw up. he doesn’t remember who pulled his hair back, but he still remembers the tang of the bile.
(if shaq would just pick up the phone, malik wouldn't have spent years chasing after a ghost.)
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“they’re going to trade me,” you tell enid, sour-salt crackling on your tongue.
“not this season,” she says. “you’re a good batter.”
“they don’t like me.”
“does it matter?” enid asks. she stabs the fabric again with her needle. red embroidery floss fans out across the black in the shape of a flower petal, or a drop of blood. “do you need to be liked?”
(or: jon halifax, in 20 snapshots.)
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Season Three for the Garages is hard. It's hard even for the people who arrived into personhood in the usual fashion, let alone the buildings that have gained sentience and personhood through the collective energy and strife of an entire team and city. Processing the grief of losing so many people...it's understandable when help's needed to work through it and find a good way to express the loss.
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This is a story about how Mike and Jaylen became best friends. It does not have a happy ending.
“You look rough around the edges,” she said. “Maybe in need of a bit of training. But I’ve met the other pitchers, and…” she smiled, kind and honest. “I think you’ll fit right in.”
Mike looked away, rubbed the back of his neck, looked anywhere but at her. “Yeah, I bet you say that to all the rookies.”
She laughed. Thank god, she laughed at his dumbass joke. “Come on, baker, let’s get to warmups.”
She thumped him on the back and started walking in. Mike hurried to grab his duffel and follow her. “Hey, what’s your name?”
“I’m Jaylen Hotdogfingers,” she said, still walking away.
Mike nearly dropped his bag. “MAYOR Hotdogfingers??”
“That’s right,” she said. “Try to keep up.”
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“hey,” em says, speeding down the beltway on the way back from bwi, “what’s the trench like?”
(or: emily friendo conducts a survey.)
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can't promise tomorrow (but i promise tonight) by baliset
Fandoms: Blaseball (Video Game)
24 Oct 2021
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Summary
you are cordially invited, the invitation slid under the door proclaims, to the nonagon’s first ever spaceship prom, presided over by the inimitable dj logi horseman. tomorrow night, the mess hall, byob if you’ve got it lmao! dress code PROM FORMAL.
combs duende reads the handwritten sheet of paper once, then again, then passes it mutely to nora before she has a chance to ask.
“well,” nora says hopefully, “at least it’s enrichment.”
(or: scenes from a party.)
Series
- Part 2 of space ghosts coast to coast
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As a mummy, Tot Clark is very familiar with being dead and within a tomb. But that has never stopper hir from wanted to explore what lies beyond with hir husband, Luis.
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A collection of short free verse poems based on prompts from @spacetrashpile/caligulalotus
Series
- Part 1 of splorts poetry
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,078
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 6
- Hits:
- 51
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Summary
fairwood's been avoiding the garages. tot plays hir hand to force a meeting.
(two very short scenes on fairwood, teddy, and orchestrated dinners.)
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“it’s the end of the world, estes,” shaq says, flinging his arms out to either side. “end of the world, and everyone fuckin’ forgot about us. i mean - they forgot about us last time, too, with the hall stars, but this time they kinda left the back door open. and i’d rather go be space pirates than sit around hugging and crying and waiting for something to happen.”
combs sets the jacket in their hands down on their desk. their needle is still threaded, but they set that down too, burying it in the pincushion strapped to their wrist.
“what if something does happen?” they ask.
“what’s it gonna do,” shaq says, “kill us?”
(or: the crabs steal a spaceship, and stowaways follow.)
Series
- Part 1 of space ghosts coast to coast
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“Did you fix the grappling hook on Elephant Gambit?” Derrick asks, sharply.
Shaq blinks. “Yeah, I -”
“Good,” Derrick says. He shifts his grip from Shaq’s collar to their arm, steering them out of Bourbon Lancer’s shadow. “We’re stealing it.”
(or: two mechanics walk into a jaeger.)
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“i know everything about me,” fae says, careful, “do you mean the old one?”
tot almost smiles back, a shift of the bandages around hir mouth, ever so slight. “you could say that.”
“i could, couldn’t i?” a pause. a tilt of faer head. “tell me everything.”(somewhere, on some highway between seattle and baltimore, fairwood patchwork is “alternated.”)