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  1. Tags
    Summary

    For the holiday challenge of writing some smut for everyone to read at the family gathering. And because that Burberry scarf really should have it's own casting credit

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    410
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    129
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale finds himself at a Greek orgy in order to bestow a blessing upon a musician, but finds Crowley instead. When a man fails to please her, Crowley spitefully offers to teach him how to 'properly' satisfy a woman. Aziraphale intercedes, offering to demonstrate. But only with Crowley. The demon doesn't believe he's capable, but Aziraphale is about to prove her wrong.

    or: Aziraphale and Crowley have sex at an orgy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1,236
  3. Tags
    Summary

    podfic of Dog-Eared & Illuminated by sillyteehee

    ---

    "Confidential journals,” Aziraphale calls them. Well, if he’d been so concerned with keeping his precious diaries safe from prying yellow eyes, maybe he shouldn’t have abandoned said eyes alone on Earth and fucked off back to Heaven.

    A story about the following, in no particular order: boxing up old memories, unpacking even older ones, lots and lots of red wine, Muriel trying on sunglasses they're not supposed to, neatly looping cursive, Crowley getting his groove back, and an angel and a demon who are figuring love out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,246
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A bit that I wrote for Vol's bday (a while back) that fills the chill Omenstober prompt of "garden" very nicely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    60
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Have you ever wondered what season three of Good Omens might be like if it was full on pornography and the plot centred around an unplanned angel/demon/new Jesus-pregnancy?
    Well this is your lucky day.

    OR

    Aziraphale and Crowley reunite after three years apart, but they have a plan (and they are also incredibly horny for each other). The plan is going horribly wrong. Aziraphale is tasked with conceiving the new baby Jesus, but he accidentally knocks up Crowley.

    OR

    The one where: ‘Satan’ is just a job title, Crowley cheats at checkers, the Supreme Archangel and the Ruler of Demons father the (anti)Christ together, Aziraphale looks into becoming a satanist and Crowley owns an air fryer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,660
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    262
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    10,724
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale navigate the rocky terrain of rebuilding trust and their relationship. Also something something Second Coming.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    277,533
    Chapters:
    39/?
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    409
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
    18,826
  7. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,292
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    160
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Good Omens Gatcha for Gaza
    “ “These last few years, not really...” Crowley and Aziraphale have been sleeping together and essentially in a relationship since the first non-apocalypse, but have never talked about their feelings despite the truckloads of increasingly obvious pining. Hence Crowley still living in his car rather than the bookshop. The final fifteen is Crowley wanting a legit, explicit relationship.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,891
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    32
    Hits:
    421
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Shortly after their disagreement in 537 AD, Aziraphale finds Crowley freezing in the woods having fallen off his horse.

    Fluff and smut ensues.

    ---

    First chapter is pure fluff/SFW, you don't need to read the second :)

    Accompanying playlist (ft Hozier, Mitski, Chappell Roan):
    https://open.spotify.com/playlist/50PcuQJYu49Kv05EyaK3jl?si=8448b033963444e4

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,617
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,077
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “I thought you’d be dead to the world by now,” Aziraphale says, despite having brought in tea for two. He sets the tray on the bedside table and then sits in the open crescent of rumpled duvet beside Crowley. “Are you feeling quite sated after your swim?”

    “Depends on your idea of sated, I s’pose,” Crowley mumbles, both golden eyes barely cracked open in the late morning light filtering in. “Took the hard edge off a bit, yeah, but there’s always something left to be desired…mmh. Quenched, maybe, is a better word.”

    Aziraphale gently arches a brow at this but reaches for his cup of darjeeling. “Is there?” he asks, blowing at the steam curling off the top. “Give me an example of these things you find yourself needing quenched.”

    Crowley snorts and lets his jaw crack around another wide yawn. “If you wanna play charades about it, angel, you can come under this duvet and I’d be glad to give you a demonstration.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,245
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    276
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2,626
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I wouldn’t say it so crassly, but, essentially, yes. If you were interested as well, I could be persuaded to engage in such carnal behaviors. With you.”

    “It would take persuading?” Crowley licked her lips. “You know I just read that you wanted to— how’d you say it? ‘Wrap your hand around my neck while claiming my mouth with holy fire,’ your other hand ‘buried in the wet heat of my body.’ That you could ‘subsist on nothing but my pleasure for even the juice of the sweetest fruit could not compare to the benediction between my legs.’ Sound familiar?”

    Aziraphale’s eyes flare and she offers an imperceptible nod to Crowley.

    "It seems we are in agreement then."

    ---
    What the title says... Aziraphale picks up a self-help book and decides to begin a journal (read: list of ways she wants to defile Crowley). One day Crowley stumbles upon it, and it's all smut from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    951
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Furfur's first attempt to get rid of a certain demon using incriminating photographs wasn't successful. But Furfur is patient, and he has some help this time around. What happens when complicated demonic plans and spells don't go as expected? Any smart demon knows how to adapt.

    Written as part of the 2024 Good Omens After Dark Pride Exchange.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,347
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    418
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A cherub is irrevocably and utterly besotted with a seraph. She is a bit clueless about the power she holds over him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    719
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    5,557
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Locking the doors behind the last wandering customers, Aziraphale traded his frock coat for a smoking jacket and settled at his desk with a single glass of port, Vivaldi, and a new acquisition, ready to begin his evening.

    His fingers hesitated over the worn gilding of the Victorian tome - it’d been unusually difficult to come by, requiring several favors and discrete transactions to bring to bear. But he finally had it: "A Discerning Gentleman's Guide to West London and Its Fairer Entertainments".

    ----------

    London. 1972. Inspired by his latest acquisition, Aziraphale Fell heads out to St James Park looking for an "encounter". When he runs into "Apple" a much larger world opens up for him, just in time for the first SoHo Pride.

    Written for the GOAD Pride Exchange.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,749
    Chapters:
    2/8
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    382
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale happens to learn his dear friend Crowley had no clue how two unicorns were needed to preserve the species back in 2350 BC, and that he is ignorant about the topic of sexual intercourse altogether, and decides to take him on a journey to discover all about this earthly pleasure.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,687
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3,437
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When Crowley and Aziraphale have sex for the first time, it breaks six thousand years of sexual tension. The two of them are completely insatiable for each other in every way.

    ...They never expected there would be consequences.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,550
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    375
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    12,195
  17. Tags
    Summary

    This is the third and final instsallment of the "Company Men" series!

    As of 2013, Aziraphale and Crowley already have a chronicle of sexual antics, usually starting with some professional necessity. Gaining trust by posing as a swinging couple, that sort of thing.

    They are, indeed, Company Men. They have their loyalties to Heaven and Hell (sort of), and they do what is needed in any Earthly vocation they take up, in pursuit of a blessing or temptation...

    But they are also men (or, men-shaped creatures) who enjoy each other's company. A lot. Like, so much, they lose track of weeks at a time. However, it may not surprise you to know that though they have declared love for one another, one of them still has a hard time accepting it sometimes. Though as time goes on, he loosens up.

    Now, for the first time, they are under the same roof - or at least living on the same property. As always, they have jobs to do, not just as angel and demon, but as gardener and nanny, and it's hard to come by an opportunity to shut the door on the world and concentrate on each other. But a revelation about Christmas spurs them forward into manipulating/blessing/tempting overdrive that could give them what they need.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,596
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,770
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt for Ineffable May 2024 - Day 30: Us

    **

    "I love you, angel. There's shit to say but I am never going to stop loving you or wanting everything with you. I need you. So unless you have any objections, less talking and more skin." Crowley painted a strip of saliva down Aziraphale's throat to emphasise his ardour, drawing a lusty groan from the angel. His maddeningly beautiful lover was such a talent, the way he could blend such sensitive passion with delightfully intoxicating filth was astounding. And who was he, if not a giving soul?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,965
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    682
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Aziraphale had known hunger for millennia, eons, lifetimes before he had been offered an ox rib.
    Curiosity was a type of hunger. So was being at the mercy of the smile on someone's lips."

    in other words, two angels find out that having a corporation can be quite pleasant

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    515
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    5,259
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Ohh, what a horrendous undertaking I’ve been handed!” Aziraphale affected the highest disdain with his voice, though his expression bore nothing but mirth. “Alas, I am so unfortunately deigned to bed my gorgeous husband and make him cum until he begs me to stop! King Sisyphus truly has nothing on my plight.

    Crowley did manage a small laugh, warmth returning to his features once more. “I’m serious, y’nut, I mean...” oh, but it was so hard to talk with Aziraphale’s hands on him, especially once Aziraphale dipped down to get his lips involved, mouthing along the sensitive skin where neck became shoulder. “S-surely there’s gotta be another... fuck, another way t’... counteract this.

    Aziraphale raised his head to give Crowley a look, something that was a motley mix of confusion, adoration, amusement, and a healthy dash of pride. The hand not on Crowley’s neck swept downward, taking a greedy handful of Crowley’s ass.

    “Who wants to counteract Paradise, dear boy?

    --

    In which Crowley’s risky forays into xenobotany finally come back to bite him in the - well, you’ll find out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,077
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,962

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