1 - 20 of 22 Works in Q is Not Amused (James Bond)
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007 drives Q wild in all the bad ways... until he doesn't.
Oh, he still drives him wild. But, somehow, it's in the good way.
They call it coming of age.“If I die, I hope you’ll feel guilty forever,” he adds.
Q chuckles, and it’s like he can see the soft crinkling of his green eyes, how his lips curve up despite his futile attempts at keeping composure. He never can. 007’s retorts are too quick, too much alike his own. “I’ll cry at your funeral. If I come. Ten seconds, 007.” -
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M held out the file in her hand and Q automatically took it.
“It needs the new Quartermaster’s signature”.
The reminder of the Major’s death, the kindly old beta who saw him for him, brought tears to his eyes, and he desperately hoped that the smoke would hide it.
“... Okay. Who do I give it to?”
“It’s quite a few years ahead of schedule, and quite frankly I’m not even sure if it’s going to work, but Boothroyd always spoke highly of you and you are one of the very few TSS workers still remaining. I’ve spoken to R, the only survivor with seniority over you, and she is quite adamant to remain in her current position with your approval... Which leaves you”.
M held out a pen.
“Quartermaster”.Or, “I don’t just have one alpha”. Q grinned, bloody and feral. “I have nine. They’re called the double-0 program; perhaps you’ve heard of them?”
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Once upon a time, James confessed that he liked it: the bantering, the bickering, the quarrelling, the squabbling. Q tended to agree. He still does. He loves it, in fact: the ceaseless banter, a spot of bickering, the occasional quarrel or squabble. He loves it dearly. He loves it as much as he hates a proper row, which is certainly what this is now.
Six times that James and Q have a full-blown fight, or: five times the cats took sides, and one time they didn’t.
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[Podfic] Hostile Takeover by Crystalshard for kyaticlikestea
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
06 May 2024
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“You’re not 007,” says the henchman, clad tip-to-toe in black, head cocked in confusion.
“Unfortunately, I am,” says Q. “And believe me, I’m much more put out by it than you are.”
When James Bond goes missing and is presumed dead yet again, the only person MI6 deems suitable to take his place is the man responsible for planning all of his outstanding missions: Q. Entirely against his will, Q finds himself thrown into active service as the new 007. Much to everyone's surprise, not least Q's, he turns out to be a natural. He might even be a better 007 than Bond ever was.
And Bond's not going to stand for that.
Podfic of Hostile Takeover by kyaticlikestea.
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Q should have known that this was one game he wouldn’t win
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“You’re not 007,” says the henchman, clad tip-to-toe in black, head cocked in confusion.
“Unfortunately, I am,” says Q. “And believe me, I’m much more put out by it than you are.”
When James Bond goes missing and is presumed dead yet again, the only person MI6 deems suitable to take his place is the man responsible for planning all of his outstanding missions: Q. Entirely against his will, Q finds himself thrown into active service as the new 007. Much to everyone's surprise, not least Q's, he turns out to be a natural. He might even be a better 007 than Bond ever was.
And Bond's not going to stand for that.
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‘I was going to clear it up tomorrow morning!’
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Q je nemocný a přišel o hlas, ale to přece nebude zas takový problém.
(Febuwhump 2023 – day 9 – voice loss)
Series
- Part 9 of febuwhump
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Someone hacks Q branch. A normal day for MI6, except that the hacker they arrest is a young teenager in his pyjamas who stands up to 00 agents and only answers to the name Xkcd. And who, apparently, knows Q...
Xkcd tries to survive his capture by MI6 without revealing anything that might cause retaliation from the gang he was once part of. But he also has someone to protect...Q and Xkcd have to work through Xkcd's criminal past and Q's responsibility in his capture, even as the gang continues to threaten MI6.
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"Mon nom est Bond. James Bond."
Il lui présenta sa main ouverte, l'air sérieux.
"Léon. Caméléon. Mais vous pouvez m'appeler Camel."
Elle sourit, s'amusant du sourcil levé de l'espion. Elle adorait faire sensation.
"Aussi connue sous le code de K.M.L. Nul ne connait mon vrai visage. Pas même moi..."- Language:
- Français
- Words:
- 5,307
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Hits:
- 138
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How 002 learned not to pick a fight with R by reallyneedsalife
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
30 Jul 2022
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There were some things in Q-Branch that people just didn't question.
Q flirted with 007 at every available opportunity.
R was apprehensive to correct anyone when someone misgendered them.
Each and everyone operative in the branch was ready to shoot a Double-Oh.
Two of those facts clash, and 002 gets a new bullet wound.Series
- Part 11 of 007 Fest
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knock knock knockin on (hell’s) door by eating_custardinbed
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
14 Mar 2022
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what if Q hadn’t gotten away from Spectre’s agents in Austria?
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Two-Factor Authentication by Amhran_na_bhFiann
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
12 Mar 2022
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Bond doesn’t understand two-factor authentication; Q unwittingly becomes Bond’s tech support helpline as he tries to (unsuccessfully) log into his MI6 account.
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After Skyfall, it became routine for Q, 007 and Moneypenny to get together every now and then.
This is one of their evenings; it's a little unusual, interrupted by Double-Oh's, and cut short, but they wouldn't have it any other way. Even if Q pretends to be irritated about it.
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Happy New Year, Darling by StitchedUpByAPostie (orphan_account)
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
01 Jan 2022
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Bond is his usual self on a mission. Q is done. That's pretty much it.
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Five times Eve tried to set Q up and one time she was sure him and Bond were an item by sideways_hedgehog
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
23 Aug 2021
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Q is aroace and really doesn't have any interest in the people Eve keeps sending his way, Eve wants her friend to be happy and James gets dragged into it.
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In which James Bond really hadn't been planning on blowing up the evil lair by sideways_hedgehog
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies)
22 Aug 2021
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In the wake of a Doofenshmirtz-esque self-destruct, Q needs to cover it up and James is a little on edge from the surprise explosion.
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The Spectre of Time by blueharlequin, bonesandchekov (blueharlequin)
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types, GoldenEye (1995)
29 Jul 2021
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Alec has to re-negotiate his relationship with James because everything has changed since they were last together. Both of them are different people and there is a new element to their relationship. Alec and James have to get past their old perceptions of each other. Meanwhile, Q shares with Alec some of his more unsavoury history before working for Queen and Country. Alec comes to the realisation that Q may have more in common with him than just loving James.
Series
- Part 3 of Blue's 007 Fest 2021 Fics
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exceeding expectations by hot_damn_louis
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), James Bond (Movies)
20 Jan 2021
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From the moment that Q had met Bond, he knew that Bond was going to make assumptions about him. From the spots on his face to the ties that he wore to the way his hair flopped down over his eyes, Bond was going to make assumptions about who he was as a person. He was going to assume that he was young (he was, but that's besides the point), that he was naive, and that he was likely inexperienced sexually and romantically due to his job, his genius level IQ, and his age.
Q loved to exceed expectations.
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Bond liked to unwind after missions and Q really wasn't about to protest to indecently good, semi-regular sex.
But as seemed to be the way of the world, the end turned out to be rather different from the start.