1 - 20 of 187 Works in Polly "Ozzer" Perks

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    Summary

    “You understand, of course, Perks,” Blouse says, “this could be quite difficult for your career.”

    “Yes, sir,” Polly says. “But this isn’t about my career. It’s about my country.”

    “Yes,” Blouse says. “Yes, I thought you might say something like that.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,789
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    275
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Podfic of "Baker, Beekeeper, Sergeant, Spy" by aunt_zelda.

    Summary: "In which Polly trains bodyguards, has dinner with Mal, founds a spy network, and muses on the hierarchy of bees."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    55
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The day had been horrid. It was cold, wet, and quite possibly set out against a certain sergeant. Though she wasn't sure if it was the day that was against her, but a rather troublesome corporal who seemed to have a knack of causing problems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    642
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    70
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    Summary

    “What if I fuss over you?” Maladicta says out of the blue, and it throws Polly into such confusion that Maladicta has her half out of her coat before she realizes what's going on.

    Polly is wounded. Maladicta is not happy about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,163
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    143
  5. Tags
    Summary

    There are many ways to fight a war, reflected Sargent Polly Perks, and she had just found a potential new weapon.

     

    Despite the war's end, Borogravia remains unchanged, and still clings to its outdated beliefs.

    Inspired by recent tales of progress from other lands, Polly prepares for a new fight, one that will take her and Maladict to Ankh-Morpork, the sinful city of over three hundred places of worship.

    ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆ ⚔ ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

    An rough idea came to me, and I just had to get it down. Please be patient as I will be slow to update. Rated M for mentions of War and who knows what else. No Beta but I'm always looking for one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,169
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    145
  6. Tags
    Summary

    therodentqueen.tumblr.com did a Tumblr poll: Which Discworld character(s) would you entrust to take The One Ring to Mordor?

    These were the options.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,100
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    656
  7. Tags
    Summary

    One night, while the regiment camps in the woods, Maladict poses a challenge.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    498
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "...A necklace of roast coffee beans, that'd be the thing. I'll be better prepared another time."
    "Yeah," said Polly. "Good idea. With real soap."
    "Soap? How would soap work?"

    Monstrous Regiment, Terry Pratchett

    Warning for coffee made them do it/issues of consent and post-novel spoilers.

    Podfic of Soap by threewalls.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    51
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Every place where soldiers hang out has a place for the soldiers to hang out off-duty.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    640
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    195
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Mal and Polly clear some things up on the ferry ride, and take advantage of a private room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,886
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    316
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "When Polly sees Mal for the first time, she is boarding the small ferry with two young soldiers, and she looks up and smiles. And there is a moment where Polly forgets, entirely, how furious she is with her, and simply smiles back."

    The first march to the palace.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,283
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    265
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Maladict scowled at the weather outside. The weather scowled back.

    Podfic of With This Ring by sinkauli.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    44
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Why Ozzer doesn't want to be a lieutenant. With examples.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,107
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    134
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    382
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Polly and Mal do some more recruiting, Polly is surprised and realizes something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    558
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    98
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “So one day the sarge and the corporal are sitting around--and the sarge looks at the corporal, right--and she’s like, I’m bored--want to make a wager?”

    “That’s not how it happened!”

    “Sure it was, it was bad days of the war back then--they didn’t have shit to do aside from wager. Wager and starve.”

    “Look--you asked me to tell you the story of how the sarge and the corporal managed to take the Zlobenian Keep without firing a single shot. If you already know the story, I don’t have to tell it, private.”

    “Sorry, soldier. Carry on.”
    ------

    Polly's little lads entertain each other by retelling the story of how she takes the keep at the end of Monstrous Regiment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,325
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    188
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “That’s… good, then,” Polly decides. “Nuggan was never worth it, and… well, I always wondered about her. I don’t think real people ought to be made into Gods.”

    “Most Gods were people first,” Alice says. “Or needs. Things that people believe in, whether they want to or not."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,777
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    240
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Miscellaneous mostly Queer Discworld headcanons.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    142
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    176
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Ma’am,” the valet continues, coming to the left of Alice’s chair, “one item this morning addressed to Miss Goom.”

    “Oh!” Alice says, startling and upsetting her tea into her saucer, “oh?”

    Instinctively, she reaches to take the letter from the valet’s hands, almost dropping her cup in her hurry, heart suddenly thrumming in her fingers. It pulses through the thin paper in her hands, a slightly dirty and weather-stained envelope with a nonetheless clear return address in the upper left hand corner.

    Froc clears her throat. “Alice,” she says, almost playfully, “we have a rule.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,106
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    179
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Ozzer,” Tonker says, and has a sip of her beer. “Congratulations on making sergeant.”

    “Thanks,” Polly says, without much enthusiasm. “Not sure what I’ll do with it, but it’s got to be good for something. What are you two doing next?”

    Tonker gives her an innocent look. “Next?” She asks, and glances at Lofty, who is holding her mug with both hands and peering down into it like she’s looking for the future.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,476
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    210
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Wazzer gets treated like a little goddess. The rest of the lads Are Women, but Wazzer is The Duchess. So there it is. None of the soldier boys are holy enough, righteous enough, worthy enough, to talk to her. So they stand next to her, and lay pillows on her bed, and retreat into solemn, dark corners, and never, ever talk to her.

    But Polly hasn’t worried about being holy enough or righteous enough or worthy enough for anybody since her mother died. And anyway, she’s the only one who knows how Waz takes her tea.

    So she makes the tea, and she goes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,736
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    306

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