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  1. 10

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    Napoleon Solo likes to be appreciated by the fairer sex. His appeal and his charm are two of his greatest assets. But what would it be like if that appeal were taken away? How would he react?

    Language:
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    48,073
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    1/1
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    8
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    33
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    10
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  2. 94

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    “Maybe somewhat calculated is not good enough,” Illya spits, and Napoleon can feel that he’s thrumming with adrenaline, and as much as his hands hurt right now, he reaches up, feeling blood flow back in his arms, and dares touching Illya’s neck — it’s so tense he thinks he could cut his fingers on it for a moment, but Illya doesn’t even flinch as he does, even if Napoleone is touching him in a fairly vulnerable spot, and —

    He smiles, weakly. He knows it’s a really poor effort, but now he also is shaking with adrenaline and he can’t — he can’t —

    “If it meant you’d live, it would have been,” he confesses, and maybe he should mind that they’re surrounded by dead people, but he can’t think about that, not when Illya is staring down at him, shaking his head slightly and moving closer, pushing him against the wall, but — gentler. Even if his wrists are still trembling all over.

    “And what about you?” He asks, his voice suddenly dropping lower.

    Or: in which a mission goes wrong first and not so much after.

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    5,711
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    1/1
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    19
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    679
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    94
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    8,372
  3. 8

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    Illya's attempts to invite Napoleon on a date told entirely through post-it notes passed around U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters.

    Language:
    English
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    9
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    74
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    8
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    588
  4. 6

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    Illya takes a great, unsteady breath in, and sobs as he exhales.

    “Peril–” he starts to ask what’s wrong, then realizes how stupid that question sounds. His next thought is it’s okay, but that statement isn’t much better. In the end, he sits up beside Illya and wraps his arms around him. Illya is shaking so much that it’s a miracle he hasn’t shaken apart at the seams. “Oh, Peril.”

    “I wasted so much time,” Illya says, muffled by his knees. He gasps like he’s under water. “I wasted so much time.”

    napoleon, illya, and gaby, at the moment the apocalpyse happens.

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    English
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    2,437
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    Comments:
    4
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    43
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    6
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    305
  5. 7

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    In which Illya is trying to keep him alive and Napoleon is way too miserable to be sympathetic at the moment.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    761
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,757
  6. 58

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    It's Illya's birthday and Napoleon is going to make him a cake, even if the whole universe is against him.

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    4,800
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    1/1
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    11
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    326
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    58
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    2,836
  7. *

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    Napoleon keeps talking, and Illya knows he should be looking at the painting, but he can’t tear his eyes away from him. Napoleon’s face has lit up, his eyes bright, and Illya can’t help but remember that day in Vienna, where he had looked at Napoleon and thought: Oh. I suppose this is it, then.

    Illya can remember dying in the street, ash and blood and Napoleon's name on his lips. But he doesn't die. Instead, he wakes up with Napoleon sitting next to his bed, holding his hand. It hasn't ended yet in the way they are both so afraid of, but that doesn't mean that living is easy. They are spies, and the game is never kind to them.

    Illya blinks, and focuses on Napoleon. He doesn’t listen to what he is saying. He’s trying to memorise the lines of Napoleon’s face.

    There are a thousand unspoken words between them, begging to be heard before they become just another regret on top of the many they've already accumulated over the years, but the game never stops, not even for love.

    Series
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    English
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    48,182
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    356
    Kudos:
    910
    Bookmarks:
    116
    Hits:
    16,366
  8. 35

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    The life of a spy doesn't end in comfortable retirement, but three of UNCLE's best have never been great at following the rules.

    Or, 5 times two of them share a bed, and 1 time the three of them manage it.

    Language:
    English
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    27,044
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    3,355
  9. 2

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    “Don’t try to talk, Mr. Kuryakin,” the nurse scolded. “You’ll recover in two or three days if you’re careful, but it could take longer if you don’t rest.”

    He turned to find Napoleon in the bed next to him, smiling ruefully at his companion.

    “How nice of you to join me,” Napoleon said, voice as rough and raspy as Illya’s felt.

    “That goes for you too, Mr. Solo,” the nurse warned. “I can give you a slate and a marker if you want, but you’re to keep quiet for the rest of the day.”

    Language:
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    30
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    2
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    122
  10. 67

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    Since they're stuck in a safe house in the middle of nowhere at the end of November anyways, Napoleon figures he'll introduce another good old-fashioned American tradition to Illya and Gaby.

    Language:
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    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    399
    Bookmarks:
    67
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    3,424
  11. *

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    Napoleon has had an absurd soulmark since birth. It is faded grey, like all soulmarks are until one’s soulmate speaks the words, and scrawled along the inside of his forearm. He wears a band around the mark, because he does not want anyone to try to say it while he is on the job; luckily, a lot of people cover theirs, so he never stands out. Illya, for example, also wears one, and he has no idea what Illya’s soulmark could be.

    Language:
    English
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    2,830
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    6,089
    Bookmarks:
    919
    Hits:
    55,944
  12. *

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    Illya has always considered Napoleon's cooking something special, something for him and Gaby alone. Napoleon, unfortunately, doesn't see things the same way...yet.

    or 5 times Napoleon shares with people not-Illya 1 time he doesn't

    Language:
    English
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    6,315
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    1,376
    Bookmarks:
    295
    Hits:
    11,835
  13. 11

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    Gaby is given a choice between killing Napoleon or Illya, and obviously her decision doesn't end well.

    Music: Cold Arms by Mumford and Sons, Gale Song by The Lumineers, Dumbledore's Farewell by Nicholas Hooper, and The Rest of My Life by Hans Zimmer

    Language:
    English
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    6,387
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    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    286
    Bookmarks:
    11
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    3,487
  14. 47

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    4,637
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    3
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    47
  15. 51

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    Napoleon is captured when breaking into someone's house. Suffice to say, they aren't too thrilled about this, and do all the villainous torture they can to make him talk. Thankfully he has some people on the way to provide a bit of assistance.

    Language:
    English
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    8,153
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    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    260
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    51
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    4,792
  16. 11

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    Napoleon cannot work out why Illya will not sleep with him.

    Language:
    English
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    6,432
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    1/1
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    14
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    115
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    11
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    1,200
  17. 85

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    Napoleon is called on a solo mission to Cairo. Of course, Illya and Gaby tag along despite orders not to. It's a good thing, too. Featuring whumped Solo, angry angsty Illya, annoyed Gaby, and lots of bromance in the form of Russian terms of endearment. Rating for blood and Russian cursing. One-shot.

    Language:
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    4,385
    Chapters:
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    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    401
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    5,028
  18. 63

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    “You are stupid man,” Illya murmurs. His fingers tighten, digging into the soft flesh, though Napoleon can’t tell if it’s meant to be a threat or if the movement is involuntary. A conditioned response, maybe. “Not a single instinct for self-preservation.”


    Napoleon swallows against the pressure on his throat and meets Illya’s gaze unwaveringly. “Not when it comes to you,” he says, his voice slightly hoarse. “Tell me you don’t want me, that you don’t want this, and I’ll walk away.”

    (What really makes a person “dangerous”? Or, 4 times Illya and Napoleon were warned that the other person was dangerous, and 1 when they decided it was worth the risk.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,357
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    401
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    3,173
  19. 81

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    Napoleon Solo is a very handsome man. Illya is well aware of this.

    aka 5 times illya realizes Napoleon is beautiful and the one time he tells him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,459
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    863
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    5,443
  20. 56

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    When Napoleon is injured on a mission, Illya tries his best to help him recover without revealing how deeply he cares for him. Napoleon struggles to figure out his own feelings in the process. Illya sends him trinkets from his travels when he's called away for work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    405
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    3,296

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