1 - 20 of 36 Works in Kansas City Breath Mints (Blaseball Team)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Jesse Tredwell and Ayanna Dumpington both suck very much at Blaseball, but at least they have that in common.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Conditions
    3.(e) The Player hereby acknowledges that Play Must Continue regardless of any weather effects and/or conditions, star loss, or fatalities, as well as a number of other possible occurrences. The Player also acknowledges that they may receive any Modification regardless of their consent, whether it is by the Will of the Fans or the Game itself.

     

    (Bright Zimmerman, the expansion era, and what it means to run; a play in three acts)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,160
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    37
    Hits:
    408
  3. Tags
    Summary

    She hated the league, and it hated her; it had dragged her kicking and screaming out of freedom and didn't even have the guts to finish the job. (She didn't say that part out loud.)

    (an interpretation of the end: the gods are finally losing their grasp, and the world is coming apart at its seams.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,494
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    70
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Kitchen Bomb Caramel (Dulce de Leche)
    So apparently exposure to terror leaves me calm instead. Which I only realized after my first reaction to the incineration of Boyfriend Monreal was to create a bomb in my kitchen.

    Stu "Stew" Briggs writes a food crimes blog to cope with the stress of Blaseball. Then ae gets Revoked and sent to Houston.

    Or: a good cook makes bad things on purpose.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,512
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    21
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The media won’t pick it up until a few months from now. After the new team is all here, after games start. In all likelihood, it’ll be the TV crew of another team that breaks it. When they do, someone will stick an enterprising tagline on it:

    Kansas City, Home of the Living Dead

    (Hops Chen falls to his hometown, but that's not the full story.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,599
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    209
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Mindy Kugel, star hitter for the Kansas City Breath Mints, is relegated to the Shadows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,841
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    45
  7. Tags
    Summary

    These records were collected and transcribed by one Dr. Mooney II during her free time between games in an attempt to bring light and understanding to the strange events of season 23.
    The original copy of these records was found on a mobile recording device attached to an in-ear microphone found at the site of the incineration of one Jon Halifax, in the Polyhedron on day 63, season 23.
    --
    From the Blaseball Zine Jam: a record of the last season of a very incompetent assassin.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    24
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The term "save situation" is used to indicate the successful maintenance of a lead by a relief pitcher, usually the closer, until the end of the game.

     

     

     

     
    Everything builds up. Everything falls down. Aequitas's Empire collapses, and what's left are the basics.

     
    don't give up

    help each other
     
    get moving
     
    Map. Steer. Aid.  

    Splortsmanship, splortsmanship, is back.

     

    a remembrance of season 24 and the stories we told.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,265
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    236
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “they’re going to trade me,” you tell enid, sour-salt crackling on your tongue.

    “not this season,” she says. “you’re a good batter.”

    “they don’t like me.”

    “does it matter?” enid asks. she stabs the fabric again with her needle. red embroidery floss fans out across the black in the shape of a flower petal, or a drop of blood. “do you need to be liked?”

    (or: jon halifax, in 20 snapshots.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,519
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    91
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Someone asked me to create an alverse (not to be confused with the Thursverse, an entirely different thing I had no hand in making), and who am I to deny people what they want?

    So I will write a quick thing about every character ever to exist in Blaseball ever. Or until I get bored. Whichever comes first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,883
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    332
  11. Tags
    Summary

    it's the end of the road. the road never really mattered. two shadows of their former selves argue about it anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,295
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    39
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A series of vignettes to accompany my song Marco Stink (We Love That Bug!) — in particular, the bridge. Why would Hewitt ask the whole team how they feel about Marco? What would it look like when he did?

    I didn't cover as many characters here as I would have liked, but I didn't know a lot of Discipline-era players and didn't want this to grow to the point where it felt too long or I wasn't able to finish it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,748
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The third last thing that Hewitt remembers before the vault is dying. The less said about that, the better. The second last is the Hall, which is less clear than they expected. The last thing is the Rising Stars game. Hands on their arms. Shouting and knowing it was too late. Being carried away. Gold pouring into them and gold pouring out of them.

    And now here they are. In the vault. The less said about that, the better, too.

    (A story about the vault, gold, legacies, cooking, community, Hewitt, Sosa, York, and the things we do for one another.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    413
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of letters (and other remembrances) addressed to and from people on the Kansas City Breath Mints in the wake of their untimely death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    184
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is PolkaDot Patterson.

    …At least, you assume it is. Those two words are inscribed on a nameplate attached to the door of the room you woke up in, and that's all the information you have to go on.

    (Even in an AU where the players exist only to play blaseball, Dot still manages to find a family along the way.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,306
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    528
  16. Tags
    Summary

    They're looking for a new start, new town, new them. It's not hard to find one. Fixing their sink and finding a plumber to fix the mess they caused, on the other hand, is a lot harder.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,718
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    64
  17. Tags
    Summary

    or: it's friday afternoon, there goes antigone to be buried alive

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    127
  18. Tags
    Summary

    This is my own canon for Pudge Nakamoto's lives and deaths focusing on his time on Charleston Shoe Thieves for obvious reasons.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,825
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    25
  19. Tags
    Summary

    a collection of ficlets focusing mainly on various interactions and relationships throughout the seasons, written in no particular order

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,427
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    40
    Hits:
    242
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “It is rumored that Leach and Eduardo Ingram manifested into this plane at the exact same moment, and that their marriage was one of the immutable laws of the universe.”

    They had been together forever, literally. Where there was Leach, there was Eduardo, and where there was Eduardo, there was Leach. They weren’t a couple you would expect, a gentle seraphim and a loud mouthed lich. But once you met them, you knew, you understood immediately why the marriage between the two was an immutable law of the universe.

    Or at least, it was supposed to be.

    (A series of brief scenes from Season 4 to Season 24 about Eddie and Leach continuing their marriage after Eddie's death.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    104

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