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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The game was never really meant to be won. It's output, the universe John could never really call home, is cursed. So when John and Calliope are faced with two, equally bad options, they decide to go for a third.

    What if instead of destroying Lord English, they made sure he never existed in the first place? Maybe it really was possible to fix everything. To truly have a happy ending.

    So John (now with Aradia by his side), reluctantly prepares for another retcon. And, unbeknownst to everyone but her, Calliope calls in a favor. For a fleeting moment, a perfect future is within their grasp.

    However, when faced with "canon" once again, they find out the hard way that it could never be that easy. Every win comes with a brutal sacrifice, by the time they realize, it's too late. Not wanting to doom the timeline they created, their only hope is that, perhaps, the path to heaven goes through hell first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,328
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,748
  2. Tags
    Summary

    You can't tell if you want to die or not.

    You can't tell if you should die or not.

     

    or;;

    Your name is John Egbert and your life sucks. You are bullied every single day you go to school.

    And then the koolest kid you've ever met shows up.

    You also think you think you wanna die.

     

    or or ;;

    Malice/John's totally original definitely not overused pepsicola trope (/s) vent fic !!!!!! Inspired by the song "dogdog" by Abu-Se-Ken !!!!!!!!!!!!! Very good song, I loop it while writing this !! Once again, I know this is an overused trope but uuuhhhh funny homestuck vent fic khehehhehe

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,185
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    293
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The Dersite royal family are famed for their powerful magic, but Prince Dave does not have any. Prospit is an insular nation who believes magic to be inherently corrupting and wicked, and yet Princess Jade has magic flowing through her veins. When their marriage is arranged to end a centuries-long war, they have a lot to figure out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,679
    Chapters:
    3/60
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    104
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Three years ago, on John Egbert's birthday, the world ended. Three years ago, Jade Harley and Vriska Serket vanished alongside billions of others. Three years ago, the apocalypse arrived, transforming everything and revealing much that was hidden to those who remained.

    Three years ago, the meteors (mostly!) missed Houston, and that's where John's headed today. In Houston, Rose Lalonde searches for washed-up traces of magic, warily overseen by Kanaya and her old friend Dave. In Texas, the newly dubbed "alternatives" maintain a newfound alliance with the humans they saved--and a wary truce with the Hunter forces that once kept all these creatures of fable and fairytale a secret from the world of man.

    And here, in Houston, the world is about to change once again.

    An urban fantasy monsterstuck AU featuring the beta kids, beta trolls, and their guardians. Updates every other Weekend!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    569,651
    Chapters:
    45/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    621
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    8,620
  5. Tags
    Summary

    These are not teardrops, dear mother, you think to yourself. You are not crying, and you will not cry, for you will reunite with your mother, and the two of you will return to your game of trying to outshine each other in affection and appreciation.

    Her glass in one hand, and your hands with a needle each, you will return to the dynamic between you two that has existed for the past two years, and everything will continue as it was meant to be.

    (These are not teardrops, dear daughter, Roxy in another life would’ve thought at that moment, not as herself as she is but as the mother her mother is, was. In this life, however, Roxy cries and she cries hard, holding her mother’s sweater—one of many—close to her.)

    (Or, a look into the relationships Beta!Rose and Alpha!Roxy have with their respective Roxy and Rose. Angst. Mommy issues. Character/relationship study.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    26
  6. Tags
    Summary

    On his 13th birthday, John Egbert's life becomes one big video game. No, not in that way, in this completely different way.

    (Aka me getting really into OP Gamer System fics, remembering all the weird video game physics stuff in Homestuck that has nothing to do with SBurb, and going like "hey, what if that wasn’t normal")

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,459
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    88
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You're name is John Egbert and you fucked up big time.

    He invited you over and asked you the Question-About-Romance. And, yeah sure, you were kinda isolated. The others don’t talk to you too much anymore which sucks but- so what right? But geez he looked so… So worried for you. You knew you were lonely as of late, but you didn't think it would be a big deal! Especially not to Dad. With a sore heart, you told him you were, in fact, dating someone. And that his son was not a lonely bum with no friends and no love life. Not that having no partner is a bad thing- you’ve just never expressed that you didn't want one before; So immediately because of that same talk decades ago, he assumed it to be a boy.

    Yeah. Not good.

    ----

     

    John and Dave have to fake hold hands to fool his Dad. This isn't gonna end well... or maybe it might?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,904
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    732
  8. Tags
    Summary

    1. June’s Humanity is Defiant

    2. Rose’s Humanity is Given Freely

    3. Jade’s Humanity is Hunted

    4. Dave’s Humanity is Ghostly

    5. Jane’s Humanity is Too Too Too Sweet, Now

    6. Roxy’s Humanity is Lonely

    7. Jake’s Humanity is Opening Locked Doors

    8. Dirk's Humanity is Not His Own

    9. Joey's Humanity is Trapped Between

    10. Jude’s Humanity is Trusting

    11. Ms. A. Claire’s Humanity is a Warning

    12. Mr. Egbert’s Humanity is Fatherly

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,200
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    337
  9. Tags
    Summary

    When Dave runs off to the Egberts' in a petulant rage, Bro has to go get him, and deal with the man who answer's the Egberts' front door.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,599
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    21
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Rose Lalonde spent the first day of summer vacation in the caves under her mansion. Bro dragged Dave Strider to a park. John Egbert took a walk to the nearby lake. Jade Harley decided to wander along the coast with her brother.

    All four of them discovered a most well kept open secret; a hidden world exists under Earth's oceans and lakes, a portal to a realm inside the planet itself. It is a place all four kids discover on accident, and it is called "Alternia."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,431
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    333
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Three years ago, on John Egbert's birthday, the world ended. Three years ago, Jade Harley and Vriska Serket vanished alongside billions of others. Three years ago, the apocalypse arrived, transforming everything and revealing much that was hidden to those who remained.

    Three years ago, the meteors (mostly!) missed Houston, and that's where John's headed today. In Houston, Rose Lalonde searches for washed-up traces of magic, warily overseen by Kanaya and her old friend Dave. In Texas, the newly dubbed "alternatives" maintain a newfound alliance with the humans they saved--and a wary truce with the Hunter forces that once kept all these creatures of fable and fairytale a secret from the world of man.

    And here, in Houston, the world is about to change once again.

    An urban fantasy monsterstuck AU featuring the beta kids, beta trolls, and their guardians.

    An ongoing podfic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    124
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    67
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Time slams together in a tight compress and then releases. The Game drops you right back into your Houston apartment as though you had never been anywhere else, and you teeter precariously for the fraction of a second it takes for you to register your feet touching the ground before falling flat on your face.
    ——————
    AKA: A post-game au where, after the Kids end up on a mishmash of Beta and Alpha session Earth, all versions of the Kids across timelines merge into one person—creating their Ultimate Selves.

    Dave is trapped between his want to be close to Dirk, and knowing that the man who hurt him is alive and well inside that mind. Simultaneously, he just wants to take care of the kid he spent so long preparing for on Alpha Earth.

    Dirk is internally torn to shreds in all the predictable ways, hating the man he was as Dave’s bro, and forced to see him every day because of their living situation. Aside from that, he can’t help but get the feeling something else is going on, as he keeps zoning out and losing time.

    Around them, the rest of their friends also attempt to pick up their own pieces.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,210
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    374
  13. Tags
    Summary

    i'm gettin' on a plane and i'm moving to seattle
    and i'll never see this place again.

    - Sweater Song by Phoneboy

    ------

    They're getting Dave out, now. They don't have a choice.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,297
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    177
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A story of life, death, the past, present, future, and making the best of the time we’ve got.

    After being evicted from her apartment in California, former screenwriter and single mother June Egbert finds herself back at square one: her childhood home. Determined to pick herself back up, and not waste her life, she enrolls herself into a teaching certification program. Somehow this leads to her teaching at the local high school, and instructing the marching band’s makeshift color guard. Finally able to heal old wounds, she begins to settle down and prepare for her future, the real future.
    Sadly, the universe has other plans.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,903
    Chapters:
    1/24
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    55
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Some people talk about their problems, and some people don't. Then there are people who talk about other people's problems for them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,399
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    37
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dave is tired of the abuse he faces in the real world. When a magic sword transports him to the fantastical world of Skaia, he finally has an escape.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,722
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    211
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dave goes to johns, bro meets dad, realise they knew each-other growing up, toxic gay substance abuse yaoi ensues

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,523
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    116
  18. Tags
    Summary

    David was kicked out a long time ago, but in the long run he made a career for himself as a big shot director and movie writer. How was he supposed to know his parents had a kid after he was gone? Be cause he sure as hell didn't know until he received a phone call that a little boy needs a family, and he's all that's left.

    Dirk can't believe his brother is legally allowed to have the possession of another human, this guy is a mess.

    (Under mature bc David has sexual tendencies AWAY from Dirk)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,476
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    345
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The lives of a "few" people who started attending a school they made theirselves to blend in: aka Sburb Academy. These people have also played Sburb. And.. These people are also going through the troubles of students at a middle school.
    Will they live through the confusing conflict of middle school, romance, trauma, neglect, and complexity of life after spending the equivalent of years playing the same stupid game? Will they do stupid shit?
    Who knows, really.

    = means human
    x means troll

    Includes actual Homestuck characters and fan characters.. Not much left to say.
    ill edit tags and characters as we go

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,413
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  20. Tags
    Summary

    If there were any scientists left alive, they would agree with the wildly popular opinion that while 2021 sucked, what came afterwards deserved to be taken out to the back and shot.

    It was subtle at first, a few cases here and there, nothing really too dire. Until it was everywhere. "Psychovirales" as it became known as was, in all simplicity, the classical, end of the world, zombie virus.

    Your name is ROSE LALONDE, and you are much too tired for this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,413
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    341

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