a gnawing feeling leaves you quite unsure
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End OTW Racism | But boys spring infernal by amorremanet
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
21 Feb 2018
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Summary
Four-and-a-half years ago, Keith lost the friend he was in love with, searched for any trace of Shiro, and found nothing. Resigned to never seeing him again, Keith honored a request that Shiro sent him: he tried to move on. He took a scholarship package and moved to Massachusetts. He tried to make himself a new life.
Now, Keith’s a broke, autistic history student at Kaltenecker University. He has trauma he doesn’t acknowledge, a depressive downswing that he’s ignoring, his Mom’s old knife, and a support network of about two people (his ex-girlfriend, Allura, and Kolivan, his academic advisor). His life’s a mess and his apartment’s a shit-hole, but at least they’re his.
Then, Keith yells at the punk band keeping him awake at four in the morning and the last thing that he expected drops into his life. Namely: Shiro, with long hair and new scars, but clean, sober, and away from his abusive ex. Worse, Shiro seems happy to have found Keith again.
This joy wouldn’t be bad if it made sense, but to Keith, it absolutely doesn’t. Shiro shouldn’t want Keith back in his life after what happened between them in Chicago, and there is definitely no way that Shiro ever loved Keith back — right?
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you’d kill me if you could stand the sight of blood by amorremanet
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
06 Oct 2017
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Summary
So much of Shiro’s being itches to fight back or try to run, even through the dim haze from his last hit of Vicodin. Maurice beats him on strength but Shiro’s more agile. After everything he’s only barely survived, he still has more stamina. He could make a break for it. Except there’s no telling what could happen if Shiro tries that.… The only allowance he affords himself is curling up his fingers, digging his nails into his palm.
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my fiction beats the hell out of my truth by amorremanet
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
19 Dec 2018
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Summary
It’s the autumn of 1990 when Lt. Colonel Mitchell Iverson—aged thirty-five, formerly of Lawrence, Kansas and the US Army—first shares drinks with Bennett Martínez, a feisty, young reporter and queer activist. Neither of them plans to fall in love. Surely, Mitch has too much damage and baggage for someone like Bennett, who must have something broken in him, with all the men who’ve said that he’s too much.
Yet, as time goes by and they grow closer, Mitch and Bennett find in each other unexpected balance and belonging.
It’s the autumn of 2013 when Dr. Mitchell Iverson—aged fifty-eight, of Kaltenecker University’s physics department—first meets Takashi Shirogane, twin to one of Mitch’s grad students and currently a fucking mess. Fresh out of rehab and an abusive relationship, struggling with sobriety and an eating disorder, Shiro wants to get well without addressing all the reasons why he isn’t. For his own part, Mitch wants to help, but he’s definitely only looking to be a friend, not to go adopting anybody.
Either way, things would be easier if Shiro would open up or else stop being interesting. Since he won’t do the latter, though, Mitch will need to get creative about getting to know him.
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Summary
Lance has admired Shiro from afar since the first time he found Shiro’s old channel on Youtube. He’s spent years enamored with both Shiro’s music, and with his idea of what Shiro might be like, if they could meet in real life—which they won’t, or so Lance thinks.
What he’s less enamored with, is Matthew Holt and his insistence that he really does know Shiro. Allegedly, they went to college together, and Matt knows why Shiro’s spent most of 2013 being so weirdly quiet. Allegedly, Matt can arrange a meeting between Lance and his musical idol, but surely, Matt’s just lying for attention, right? There’s no way he knows Takashi Shirogane.
Shiro, meanwhile, is eight weeks sober, two weeks out of rehab, and still not used to the fact that he isn’t in Chicago anymore. Recovery’s a difficult process that he’s only just beginning, and he still expects Maurice, his ex, to find him and take him back. Another part of him doesn’t want to give up his old coping mechanisms, thanks.
It makes no sense to Shiro, why any of Matt’s other friends would want to meet him—but loneliness isn’t working out for Shiro, either. So, hey, maybe meeting this Lance guy will be a welcome change of pace.
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come and put a little love here in my void by amorremanet
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
16 Oct 2018
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Summary
Lotor planned to spend an evening alone. Instead, an unexpected booty call (in which he, of course, has no emotional investment) takes a more interesting turn.
“I wasn’t ignoring you or anything,” Shiro mutters. “Not since I got back, I mean. Texas was a lot? I wanted to see you? But Ryou’s been on my case? Which only made me want to see you more, but I…” He shakes his head. “I’ve been kind of a mess?”
“You owe me no explanations, darling.”
Whether or not Lotor means this, he can’t say. Shiro truly owes him nothing. Any consideration from Shiro, much less some explanation about he’s saying or some insight into what he means, would be a gift — if and only if Shiro ever decides to allow Lotor in like that. In the meantime, he presses his ankle into the muscle of Shiro’s leg. Tries to focus on that, rather than his thoughts about Shiro’s implications or the possible directions they could lead, beyond tonight. Thinking about improving one’s lot paves the road to Hell even better than good intentions.
Regardless, he whispers, “Mess or not, I am merely relieved to see you.”j
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nothing to keep me from the storm (today could be your day) by amorremanet
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
12 Jan 2018
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Summary
After six months of sobriety and a difficult summer, Shiro slips up on a combination of stressors. He doesn’t think this deserves any attention, much less serious discussion, and he’d rather be left to his moping and tequila. Everyone else in his life disagrees, and his brother, in particular, is intent on figuring out what’s going on so he can help.
“You’ve had bad sessions without falling off the wagon. What made this one different?” Instead of getting an answer, Ryou has to watch his brother shrug as if he’s getting out of this by pretending to be clueless. “Do you want to do things the hard way?”
“I dunno, do you particularly want your roommate to starve or burn down your apartment?”
“Sven’s already looking after Slav, so I’ve got all night for this. We can do things the hard way, if that’s what you really want.”
“Well, I don’t have any answers that you wanna hear.” Grunting softly, Shiro drops his head onto the back of the sofa. “And you can’t will them into being, either.”
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End OTW Racism | and i wonder if i ever cross your mind by amorremanet for NoirSongbird, genovianprince
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
25 Jul 2018
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Summary
Mental health is difficult. So is building up a new life for yourself after losing someone you loved, never knowing whether or not he felt the same for you. While Shiro fights to get himself on the track to wellness and forgive himself for disappearing when Keith needed him, Keith pushes his own problems down and struggles with feeling like he’s going to ruin someone else, the way he thinks he did to Shiro. Through it all, they don’t realize how close they really are.
Or: “10 times that Keith and Shiro miss each other 1 time that they don’t.”
Maybe he couldn’t be the version of himself who Keith deserved. Maybe he screwed up everything and let Keith slip away without letting him know how he felt about him, even if Shiro could only offer a pathetic ghost that maybe in its wildest dreams wanted to become something like love when it grew up — but the past is the past. No taking any of it back.…
He almost doubles back to apologize, but if there’s any chance in Hell that he’s right about this? If there’s even a snowball’s chance in Tahiti that Keith can hear for sure that Shiro’s doing better? He can’t waste any time.
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