things that stay in the dark
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Listing Series
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the monsters of our childhood do not fade away by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV), Slough House - Mick Herron
04 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
At seven years old, River is dropped off at a grand but decaying château in the middle of nowhere, the kind of place he half-thinks exists only in his mother’s vague threats and careless neglect.
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"I thought he was dead," he said, his voice sharper than most seven-year-olds’. He’d had time to practice. "Why would he want me? He doesn't even know me." And I don't know him, and I don't want him, River thought mulishly.
"Well he's not. And he's your father, River. Of course, he'll want you, darling. He's going to take care of you."
River doubted it, somehow. But there was the possibility that he might want River more than his mother did. He'd always known that he was something of a burden for his mother. It wasn't particularly difficult to imagine someone wanting River around more than Isobel Cartwright did.
Series
- Part 1 of things that stay in the dark
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all born innocent by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV), Slough House - Mick Herron
05 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
River reluctantly "celebrates" his eight birthday, his first at Les Arbres, with one of Frank's tests, the kind of thing no child should have to do, unless, of course, they're Frank Harkness' child.
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There was no jelly in sight today. No cake, either, but there was an envelope resting in the middle of the table, a solitary thing in the cavernous room with cracked walls and damp-dappled wallpaper. River knew the card was from his mother even before he opened it. The drawing on the front – he’d recognize that scrawl anywhere. A little sun, lopsided like it had half given up, was rising over a meadow full of line-drawn animals.
The thing was, he couldn’t stop looking at that card. It was the saddest birthday message he’d ever seen. The animals looked like they were about to drop dead. He half-wished he could do the same, anything to get him out of whatever this was.
Series
- Part 2 of things that stay in the dark
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blood of the covenant by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV), Slough House - Mick Herron
05 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
Eight-year-old River Cartwright has a lot to learn about surviving in his new “home,” where compassion is a liability and Frank Harkness is waiting for him to fail. Bertrand Harkness, the not-quite weakest of the brothers, knows how things work here and understands all too well what failure means - but even he can’t help feeling a reluctant sense of responsibility for his newest little brother.
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But Bertrand couldn’t quite stamp it out. He’d never say it aloud, but he’d felt a kind of kinship with River the moment he arrived – another little brother who was even less suited to this place than he was.
And now, watching River struggle to keep up, Bertrand felt both resentment and pity.
Series
- Part 3 of things that stay in the dark
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you can survive anything but death by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV), Slough House - Mick Herron
06 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
River's trials of survival at Les Arbres continue, in an even more literal way. After all, according to Frank's doctrine, one must be able to survive anything, anywhere, at any point. Patrice knows this better than any of them, and knows the cost of not surviving, and the cost of disappointing Frank.
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River shot him a look that would’ve been defiant if he’d had the energy. “What happens if we don’t get back?” he asked, and there was a faint tremor in his voice that he tried to cover with sarcasm.
Patrice chuckled, the sound dark and low. “Oh, Frank’ll come find us eventually,” he said, voice heavy with irony. “But I wouldn’t put any bets on him being happy about it.”
Series
- Part 4 of things that stay in the dark
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Summary
River's life at Les Arbres doesn't get any easier. In fact, the trials and tribulations River goes through make it that much harder. How is a boy who grew up with his mother, painting and eating chocolate, supposed to become a mercenary? How is he supposed to hold his own against boys who have grown up being taught to fight since they could walk?
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River had barely raised his fists when Bertrand’s blow connected with his jaw. He went down hard, splashing into the mud with a yelp, the little breath he’d managed to take in punched out of him.
Patrice strode over as Bertrand stepped back, a flush of worry colouring his face. River was lying there, dazed, his lip already split and starting to bleed. Patrice watched him closely, noting the quiver in his lip, the water welling up in his eyes as he clambered back up, his arms shaking.
“Really?” Patrice’s voice was calm but sharp, and he knelt down to River’s level, giving him a hard look. “You’re going to cry over that?” He punctuated his words with an open-palmed tap to the cheek, not hard enough to really hurt, but enough to snap River’s attention back.
Series
- Part 5 of things that stay in the dark
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Tags
Summary
Birthdays are a hard thing to endure at Les Arbres, if one knows they have a birthday. Bertrand tries to make it more bearable for River.
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The walls were a faded rose pink, cracked where they met the ceiling, and covered with a collection of sketches his mother had done years ago. Whimsical, they'd call them. Rivers winding through forests, birds perched on branches, castles sprouting up like weeds. All in soft, sweeping strokes that were so – hopeful. The kind of art that didn’t belong here.
He lay on his bed, staring at the mural, every brushstroke a little reminder of the world he’d been tossed out of. His mother must have loved these walls once. Loved them enough to leave him here with them, as if they could ever be enough company.
Series
- Part 6 of things that stay in the dark
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something you love is going to be taken away by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV)
07 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
Frank's training is harsh, as always, and Bertrand can't stand it for much longer. River is his little brother, he can't let him freeze.
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And there was River, hunched on the frosted ground, hands red and fumbling with the pistol, small enough that it looked ridiculous in his grip. Bertrand watched from the window up in the nursery, close enough to see Frank pacing around him, barking instructions like River was meant to understand them all without having ever touched a gun before. His brother was never going to manage this, Bertrand could see that already. He was shivering, his fingers too numb to handle the cold metal properly, but Frank didn't seem to care.
Series
- Part 7 of things that stay in the dark
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Tags
Summary
It always started as a “game.” That was how Frank framed it, anyway. Something to pass the time in the dead of afternoon, to “teach River the ropes.” He was supposed to play along – Frank’s clever little trainee, learning how the world worked. He was nine, and the world, he figured, would have to work a lot harder than that if it wanted him to sit through one of Frank’s “lessons.”
Today, Frank had tied his wrists behind the old kitchen chair, its wood creaking under River’s shifting weight. Frank’s hands moved quickly and confidently, knotting the rope as if he’d been doing this his whole life. Maybe he had. He looked almost bored, a faint smile playing at his lips as he circled River, tapping a finger against the table with a rhythm that was just a bit too fast.
Series
- Part 8 of things that stay in the dark
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under dark stones, strong roots grow by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV)
15 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
Patrice turns 12, and is subjected to Frank's version of a birthday celebration.
(Please mind the warnings for this fic)
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Upstairs, in the dim nursery, River’s brow furrowed as he looked at Bertrand, his eyes sharp with suspicion. “Where’s Patrice?” he asked. The nursery felt different without him. Too quiet, too empty. Patrice might be bossy, he might be hard, but he was part of it all, the way night follows day. And River didn’t like the gap his absence left.
Bertrand sighed, glancing toward the window as if he could see past the cold stone walls of Les Arbres, past the frosted ground, all the way down to where he knew Patrice was. “He’s in the cellar,” he said finally. “It’s... a test.”
Series
- Part 9 of things that stay in the dark
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Tags
Summary
When Patrice emerges from the cellar, a whole month later, he is not the same boy River remembers, if he's even a boy at all. Isolation and misery do strange things to one, after all, and no one is truly the same after being locked away for so long
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“What… what are you doing?” River asked finally, voice half a mumble, half a demand.
Patrice didn’t answer at first, just kept packing, the movements mechanical, like he was somewhere else, somewhere deeper and colder. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough, a hoarse whisper. “Moving out.”
“But…” River stammered, clenching his fists to keep them from shaking. “Where are you going?”
Patrice looked at him then, really looked, and the emptiness in his eyes was like a sluice of ice water down the back of River’s neck. “Does it matter?”
Series
- Part 10 of things that stay in the dark
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Tags
Summary
Bertrand organises a little surprise for River, a small piece of normality and wonder for a boy who's lost his sense of both since arriving at Les Arbres.
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“Get up,” Bertrand whispered, barely louder than a breath. The air was thick, still suffocating with the day’s heat, and River had barely been sleeping anyway. He threw off the sheet, already curious.
“Where are we going?” he muttered, low enough that no one outside their room would hear. He liked the forbidden feeling of it, sneaking out of their room with no one any the wise, the hush that descended over the house in the middle of the night, and the way Bertrand’s grin widened in response to River’s suspicion.
Series
- Part 11 of things that stay in the dark
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 882
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 8
- Hits:
- 54
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where i am going, you cannot follow by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV)
17 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
Bertrand's twelfth birthday looms like a spectre in the darkness, but River knows that there will be no defeating it, no running away.
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River was learning to keep his heart close, keep his face blank, keep his words sharp. But no amount of dry wit or scornful deflection could dull the creeping dread that tightened around his chest as Bertrand’s birthday loomed.
He lay in bed at night, his and Bertrand’s beds pushed together, a line of flimsy demarcation erased in the darkness. The only time they could be like this, with the comfort of another heartbeat close by, was when everyone else was asleep. But during the day, they had to shove the beds apart, leave a calculated distance between them, so Frank and Yevgeny and anyone else who wandered past the door wouldn’t see the truth of it. The rules here rewarded only strength, never “weakness.”
Series
- Part 12 of things that stay in the dark
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take your sadness down to the river by davidstirlings (Venetia5)
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV)
26 Nov 2024
Tags
Summary
An exploration of River's isolation at Les Arbres, having lost both Bertrand and Patrice, not physically, but in all the ways that matter.
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One night, after dinner, River slipped away back to the nursery, hoping to find something – anything – that might feel familiar, that might feel like the strange, half-formed idea of “home” he’d once attached to this place. But the nursery was empty, its two beds now separate, the single bed on the far side Bertrand’s old bed, cold and untouched since he’d moved to the older boys’ rooms.
The painting on the wall, his mother’s painting, was still covered by a thin sheet, as though it were something shameful, too painful to look at. There was no warmth in the place now, no sense of belonging. And it was then, as he stood there in the too-silent nursery, that he felt the full weight of his own isolation. His eyes stung, but he bit his lip, clenching his fists until his nails dug into his palms. Weakness wasn’t allowed here. Weakness got you left behind.
Series
- Part 13 of things that stay in the dark
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,119
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 75