himbo banhammer and his three stooges
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Circumstantially Unfortunate Amounts Of Testosterone by Anonymous
Fandoms: PHIGHTING! (Roblox)
02 Jan 2024
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Summary
Banhammer goes to say something, said something bound to be stupid, but then the bedroom door whines open. Banhammer quite literally feels his erection flag at the reminder he has yet to replace the hinges.
However, what makes up for all of it is the surprised chuff coming from behind him, and the way Medkit raises a brow at their intruder.
“I didn’t think you’d actually convince him.”
Banhammer groans, squinting down at Medkit, “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“We were talking about you earli—”
“—You don’t need to know.”
Medkit and who Banhammer knows is Katana behind him glance at each other, but the look is short-lived because Banhammer clips Medkit over the head and sneers at the indignant splutter the short man lets out. “I swear, you guys are weird as hell. So, is this what you’ve been daydreaming about, huh? Were you drooling over the thought of your prick inside my cunt?”
The flush deepening over Medkit’s skin and the curse he spews into his murmuring feeds Banhammer’s every-growing amusement.
**
(In simpler terms, Banhammer finally gets attention somewhere else other than his graciously sized dick)
Series
- Part 1 of himbo banhammer and his three stooges
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Summary
And Katana – honest, blunt, irrevocably stupid Katana – wraps his arms around Medkit’s shoulders and mutters into his hair, “they didn’t let me watch Banhammer take a cock. I could hear him from the livingroom, and they expected me to clean amid all of that.”
As if a new world of revelation has been opened up for him, Medkit’s eye slowly widens, and he shifts to stare at a frozen Banhammer and spluttering Hyperlaser like he’s seeing a whole new person, his voice incredulous. “You let Hyperlaser stick his dick in you?”
“No! I did not! Listen, it was plastic and stiff and entirely not an actual—!”
This time, Hyperlaser is the one silencing him, hand slapped over his mouth. “He quite enjoyed it, too! You should’ve heard how loud he was moaning my praises!”
The floor is practically flooded now with how much water pours out the sides of the tub when Banhammer thrashes, yanking at Hyperlaser’s wrist, desperate to silence the other demon before he says anything else equally incriminating.
Medkit guffaws to Katana with a hand over his mouth, the tips of his ears bright teal, an invigorated brightness to his once dull eye.
“No wonder you were so upset!”Series
- Part 2 of himbo banhammer and his three stooges
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Summary
Banhammer burns with embarrassment at the endeared huff Medkit lets out against his lips and pulls away, squinting at the other man as he caught his breath. “I know you aren’t laughin’.”
“I’m not.” Medkit murmurs in a heartbeat like the lying bastard he is, warm breath tickling Banhammer’s face. Amusement crinkles the corner of his eye all the same.
“Shut up. You’re so bad at lying.” Banhammer mutters back, craning his neck to nip at a bruised bottom lip, and Medkit raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, the records beg to differ.”
“What records? The ones up your ass?”
“No.” Medkit leans closer, fingers pressing down just that little bit more on Banhammer’s neck. “Mental records, of course. You aren’t as good at figuring out lies as you think you are, and besides, the only ass that’s going to have something up it is yours.”
And then after a moment of self-conscious contemplation. “That something is going to be my cock, if that wasn’t clear enough.”
Banhammer lets the silence drag on, refusing to gratify Medkit and his stupid, anticipating expression with an immediate response.
“Was that your attempt at flirtin’?” Banhammer finally mutters, letting his exasperation slip.
Series
- Part 3 of himbo banhammer and his three stooges