So here it is, Merry Christmas
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Listing Series
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The Knight before Mettarë by AnnaFan for sian22
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Knight Before Christmas, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (Radio)
02 Mar 2020
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Summary
Loosely based on The Knight Before Christmas – a made-for-TV time-slip rom-com so cheesy you could spread it on bread dough and make an instant Quattro Formaggio.
“A staggering work of lifeless mediocrity” Vulture.com
“I was disappointed by this film even when judged by the standards of other holiday films” smartbitchestrashybooks.com
“I really can’t go on. It took me all day to watch this movie is small doses…There is no concept or Christmas trope too candied-apple sweet for this movie. We have no profanity, no sex, no alcohol…” Ruthlessreviews.comSian spotted this gem, and suggested we write a parody as a joint effort. Faramir as our Knight catapulted from his Medieval world into the modern day, with a modern-day Éowyn waiting for him? Possibly with added swearing, sex and booze?
But Sian's had a lot going on, so I've had a go at a Christmas cheer up. Happy Christmas, Sian!
With profound apologies to everyone. My characters, my readers, the whole world… for doing this to them. Also, I have not seen the monstrosity in question, but I have a script, and I have the trailer. So off we go. Buckle up, it's gonna be a cheesy ride.
Series
- Part 1 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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Miss Congeniality by AnnaFan for sian22
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
24 Dec 2020
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Summary
Christmas. When the bad guys get a break from the attention of fan-ficcers, and the good guys get tortured with endless Christmas cross-overs.
Merry Christmas, Sian!
M only for language.
Series
- Part 2 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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The Antiquarian by AnnaFan for sian22, queefqueen, Altariel
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
24 Dec 2021
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Summary
A Hitchcockian parody for Christmas - Faramir the mild-mannered bookshop owner encounters a mysterious icy blonde who seems to be casing the apartment block opposite.
Contains as many [Easter Eggs] Christmas Stocking Fillers as I could reasonably shoe-horn into 4000 words.
Wishing Sian, Altariel and Queef Queen (and my many readers) a very Merry Christmas 2021.
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- Part 3 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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The Twelve Days of Yuletide by AnnaFan
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
09 Jan 2023
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Summary
It's time for my annual piece of Christmas fluff.
What happens when the newly betrothed Éowyn realises that Yuletide and Mettarë are twelve days adrift from each other? Dernhelm rides again, that's what, leaving chaos in her wake. The classic 70s road movie, with all the tropes, and Elfhelm and Eothain in hot pursuit.
Short chapters, hoping (but likely to fail) at posting in line with the days of Christmas.
Happy Christmas to all my readers.
Series
- Part 4 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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Mettarë Eve by AnnaFan
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
09 Jan 2023
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Summary
Éowyn has just spent twelve days riding from Edoras to Minas Tirith to see her beloved for Christmas. What's she going to do when she gets there? Well, what do you think?
Because, by an unusual feat of authorial self-restraint and self-discipline, I resisted the temptation to write any of “The Twelve Days of Yuletide” from Éowyn's perspective, as I thought seeing it through the eyes of Elfhelm and Éothain would be so much funnier.
So here is my reward to myself for my self discipline: several thousand words of self-indulgent sheer smut. It’s a long time since I’ve tried to write “pedal to the metal” full-on smut, so I hope I haven’t lost the knack.
Series
- Part 5 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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Éothain's Hankie by AnnaFan
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
02 Feb 2024
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Summary
A spin-off from the “Twelve Days of Yuletide.”
During their madcap chase across Anorien in pursuit of an absconding Eowyn, Eothain and Elfhelm stopped off at a manor in the north of the province, where Eothain got on rather good terms with the daughter of the household, so much so that she offered him her hankie. Eothain did not realise that this was tantamount to a contract of marriage.
The action picks up on the return journey from the “Twelve Days of Yuletide.”
Series
- Part 6 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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Bend me over the hay bales by AnnaFan for sian22
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
12 Jan 2024
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Summary
There are dark doings afoot in Anorien that require the Steward's attention (see Éothain's Hankie). And what better opportunity for Dernhelm to retrace her journey from the Twelve Days of Yuletide, than by joining the Rangers. All is going swimmingly until they reach a familiar public house not far outside the Rammas Echor.
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- Part 7 of So here it is, Merry Christmas
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La Cenerentola by AnnaFan
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, La Cenerentola - Rossini/Ferretti
14 Dec 2024
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Summary
A Christmas tradition, you ask? Well, since about last Tuesday (to quote Elfhelm’s good lady).
Cinderella, as retold by Rossini and re-retold by me. With Éowyn as Cinders and Faramir as the prince.
Take Rossini's twist, where Cinders and the Prince meet in disguise and fall in love. Plus his addition of a wicked stepfather. Add in a dash of Barber of Seville style evil guardian, a bit of The Horse and his Boy kidnapped-as-a-child type plot device, and a pinch of Twelfth Night style cross-dressing.
Confused? I wouldn’t be doing my job if you weren’t.
Let the Christmas panto mayhem begin.
Series
- Part 8 of So here it is, Merry Christmas