Rhodestead Moments (That We Should've Gotten But Never Did)
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It was easy - while there were people to call and patients to see - to ignore the lingering fear in their guts, the adrenaline that had yet to have its follow-up crash, the way everyone was studiously avoiding the room where the madness had only ended about an hour earlier. Everything in the ED was slowly getting back to normal, but there was an unsureness about the way that the doctors and nurses were approaching their next patient - was this one going to produce a gun on them too? Put their lives and those of their colleagues and friends in mortal danger?
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"I could have killed that guy. Killed him: as in dead, not coming back, d-e-double-d dead. How are you not screaming your head off at me right now?"
"Cause that's not what you need."
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"Hey; it's just me, Connor" he whispered softly, taking care to keep his voice low even as his hands resumed their gentle rubbing. "Let it out, okay? Just cry; I've got you."
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“Jay’s right, you know?” Will mumbled thickly, swiping a hand across his eyes but unable to do anything against the tears still clinging to his lashes. “I wasn’t there when my mom was dying, and I should’ve been......I couldn’t save our mom, and now I couldn’t save our dad."
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"Seriously, man; you look like shit" the surgeon continued, reaching out and taking his friend's wrist. Will let him, which only proved to Connor that he really felt as bad as he looked right then. Satisfied with the presence of a strong - if still fast - pulse under his fingertips, he let the other man's wrist go as he leaned forward with a small frown on his face. "Have you at least had some pain relief?"
Will shook his head gingerly. "Don't want any" he whispered, voice hoarse and croaking as if he'd been screaming.
Which, Connor realised grimly, he probably had.
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"She looked right at me, Will. I saw the light leave her eyes, watched as the life was literally snuffed out of her. I was the last thing that damn girl saw - not her parents or her siblings or the rest of her family: me. Of course I'm not okay after that!"
"I never said I expected you to be okay: no one with half a braincell in their head would be. But I do know you shouldn't be alone right now."
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