Red in my Ledger
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Listing Series
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Perfect Cuts by xxx_cat_xxx
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
17 Apr 2019
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Summary
Once the debrief is over, Nat locks herself in the bathroom, pulls out one of her shorter knives and tries to fight pain with pain.
They all have strategies to numb themselves when a mission goes badly. Steve exercises until he drips with sweat and moves like his muscles ache deeply. Tony has his alcohol. Clint vanishes into the forest and hunts, doesn’t eat for days except for what he takes down himself. Nat tells herself that she is not really different from them, then. She knows it's a lie, but it's a sweet one.
Series
- Part 1 of Red in my Ledger
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Holding Water in your Hands by xxx_cat_xxx
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
20 Aug 2019
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Summary
“What’s going on, Nat?” Rhodey's voice is awfully warm and understanding. It makes her feel sick.
“Nothing. What should be going on?” she spits.
“You’re a mess.” He looks her up and down, taking in her unwashed hair, the rings under her eyes, the stench of sweat, the dirty clothes.
-or-During the missing five years, Natasha is holding position at the empty Avengers compound and trying to hold herself together. Rhodey finds her on a bad day.
Series
- Part 2 of Red in my Ledger
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I walk this lonely road by xxx_cat_xxx
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
01 Apr 2020
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Summary
They lock down the tower in the second week of the pandemic.
Bruce and Tony are elbow-deep in research to find a vaccine and wouldn’t leave the tower if an armed battalion tried to force them out. Clint went back to stay with his family at the farm as soon as the first cases started being detected in New York. Steve is keeping busy by exercising, recording PSAs about everything from handwashing to social distancing, and sending uplifting video messages to infected fans.
Meanwhile, Nat is slowly coming apart at the seams.
Series
- Part 3 of Red in my Ledger
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all the things we never said by xxx_cat_xxx
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
09 Jun 2020
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Summary
Five times Nat and Tony watch over each other and the one time they don't need to any longer.
Series
- Part 35 of Whumping Tony Stark
- Part 4 of Red in my Ledger
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Broken Bottles Form A Star by xxx_cat_xxx
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
27 Jul 2020
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Summary
Clint isn’t sure whether he can fix any of this. He knows for certain that she doesn’t want him to. But whatever mess Natasha is, part of her has become his mess by now.
Series
- Part 5 of Red in my Ledger
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some other beginning's end by xxx_cat_xxx for Builder
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
29 Nov 2020
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Summary
Clint deserves someone like that, she decides. Someone who’s a stranger to the blood and bodies paving their way. Someone to whom bruised cheekbones are a reason for worry, not relief. Someone to soothe violence, not cause it.
Or, the reason why Nat and Clint will never sleep with each other again.Series
- Part 6 of Red in my Ledger
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Summary
Sometimes, these days, Yelena makes lists in her head.
Series
- Part 7 of Red in my Ledger