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“Ugh, what do they see in me?” The question escaped the blond’s mouth as he stood clad in only a pair of boxers and was raking his form up and down.
In Toshinori’s mind, he was ugly long before the AFO fight(s) but that just made it worse. Don’t get him wrong, Yagi loved his husbands with all his heart but there was always that one bit in him that made him wonder why the hell his lovers chose and put up with him.
“Ugh” Toshinori’s sigh was one full of hatred and sadness. The brutal wound that occupied his torso wasn’t a pretty sight. That accompanied by his gangly limbs and gaunt face made for, in his mind, a rather unattractive man.
Yagi hated bothering his husbands and always preferred to be the shoulder to cry on or to help the others. So this, this he kept to himself. Many times before both Aizawa and Yamada had spent hours reassuring him or kissing every inch of the tall man in a way that made him know that he was loved and beautiful.
His lover’s words never failed to make him feel warm inside but eventually, as always, that warmth disappeared. The feeling that was always similar to a cold that enveloped his entire body and made everything just that much worse.
“Why me? They could’ve been so happy…”
For Toshinori that was one of his most common thoughts.
Shota and Hizashi had been dating for a couple of years before they confessed to Yagi and became the trio. They had all been married for 6 years but the tall blond still got insecure and scared that one day his lovers would wake up and realise that he wasn't worth it.
Before he knew it, his hands had moved from the sides that felt the sharp angles of his face. The face that started back at him was not his own.
Yagi Toshinori. His body wasn't his, this imposter standing in his place followed his movements perfectly but they didn't feel right. He moved lithe fingers away from the pale face and flew towards his withered stomach, fingers ghosting the purple wound. He sucked in a gasp as he touched the tender skin.
Yagi couldn't feel much around that area but could still feel the edges and they always seemed to be sore when he did make contact with it.
How could anyone love such a broken man?
Sure, Hizashi had hearing problems thanks to his quirk but they were manageable, Shota also had severe nightmares, insomnia and a mild cat obsession but again he'd been through hell and back and was still standing. He was strong and brave.
All Yagi did was fight a couple of villains, gain scars, a crippling injury and PTSD. Toshinori felt as though he was practically useless now, he was no longer a hero anymore.
Pathetic. Weak. Useless. Burden.
The last one was particularly hard to handle and a few stray tears escaped his eyes.
Through all of his self-deprecating thoughts and insecurities that fogged his scattered brain, Yagi didn't hear his partners walk in until it was too late.
“Hey baby, what ya doing?” Hizashi’s uncharacteristically soft voice rang throughout the bedroom. Toshinori wiped away the tears and forced a smile on his face.
“Oh, nothing Hizashi. How was work?” They both knew it was absolute bullshit. Mic could tell exactly what was going on.
“It was good. Can you give me a minute?” The former hero nodded as his blond lover stepped out of the room. Toshinori quickly got changed as he realised that he was still practically naked, that must be why Hizashi left.
“Of course he didn't wanna see my body, it's hideous… I'm hideous.” He thought tiredly. In actual fact the voice hero was explaining what was going on with the third part of their trio.
Shota nodded his understanding and quickly packed his papers up before making his way to the bedroom with Yamada.
“Toshi, are you okay?” The voice was soft and Toshinori almost didn't want to lie to him.
“Yeah, I'm great! How was your day? You didn't get any tremors or headaches did you?” The tall blond quickly changed the subject and focused on her raven haired husband.
The thing about Aizawa was from the start he'd always told Yagi that he wanted Toshinori, not All Might but it still didn’t make it any easier.
“I’m fine but you're not.” Blunt as always. Hizashi rolled his eyes at how uncaring the man sounded, but all three of them knew that he did actually care a great deal.
“What Shota was trying to say is that we’re always here to talk or just listen baby. We love you and we want you to be happy.” That was the final straw, Toshinori broke down sobbing as he fell to his knees on the floor.
“WHY?! Why do you love me? I’m hideous and weak! I can’t even protect anyone, and everyone else has already left because they can’t fucking stand me. So what makes you any different? I hate myself because you two could have been so happy and I fucking ruined that! I ruin everything and you should just go! You could be so much better off without me… I'm sorry” The outburst along with the curses took his husbands a minute to process before they sprung into action.
Shota picked him and placed him against his left side, which Toshi wept into as Zashi ran his fingers through his hair and whispered soft praises and ‘I love you’s’
After a while his sobs turned into sniffles and hiccups but the three still didn't move.
“Toshinori. Look at me.” There was no room for argument and said man obeyed the command. Aizawa’s eyes were hard as they held eye contact but Toshinori didn't wanna look away.
“You're beautiful.” Yagi flinched but Shota continued. “You have fought and won so many battles. Of course you're gonna look as you once did, but Hizashi and I want what's in here.” The tired teacher tapped the blond's chest. “You looking hot is just a bonus.” He smiled softly and Toshinori could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“It’s just… you and Hizashi have been through hell and back and you’re still strong but I can barely protect myself anymore. I’m a burden rather than an advantage and you guys shouldn't have to put up with it…” He trailed off before the voice hero spoke up.
“Put up with it?! Oh honey, do you really think we would've stayed all these years if we didn't want to? You think we would've married you if we didn't love you? No, but we do. Shota and I love you with all our earth Tosinori and we never want you to feel bad about yourself but if you do, I want you to come to me, honestly tell either of us and we’ll be there to help you. You’re my husband and I never want you to suffer, at least not alone baby.” Toshinori was crying by the end of Mic’s speech but he understood just how loved he was. The three moved so it was a Yagi sandwich but the latter didn't move. He felt safe and warm squished between the loves of his life.
He was only human and still had bad days but it was easier because he had two wonderful, amazing husbands right by side all the way through it.
He’d be okay with himself eventually, he'd be okay.
He’d get better.