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"3/5," Punz said teasingly. "You're slacking Sapnap."
"Oh fuck off," Sapnap bit back playfully. "That was my first round of the day, I haven't warmed up yet."
"So you say," Punz hummed.
Punz raised his gun and pointed it at the target, shooting off five rounds of bullets before pressing the button on the side of his booth, bringing the paper closer to them, three bullet holes struck in the target's head and one a little lower in the neck.
"4/5," Sapnap said snidely. "You've been here all morning, what's your excuse?"
"Shut up," Punz rolled his eyes as Sapnap laughed.
It was a normal day, or about as normal a day two special agents can have in their super dangerous secret spy job. Okay, that was a bit dramatic, they're FBI agents. There are FBI field agents and for the time being, they're really just messing around at the shooting range. It's practice, and a little bit of a competitive spirit to boost each other up.
"Okay, you suck," Sapnap said. "Watch me get 10/10 this next round."
Punz stood back and watched as Sapnap prepped the target paper before sending the carrier back to the shooting distance. He held his gun up and started to shoot. He was at about four rounds when the door to the range opened. Still, Sapnap stayed focused on the target, shooting shot after shot at the target. He was at his eighth bullet when Punz nudged him on the shoulder.
"Dude, what?" Sapnap scolded. "I'm trying to shoot here."
Punz just silently nudged his head towards the door, watching Bad walk in with a handsome brunet. Admittedly, Sapnap was fairly intrigued.
"Dibs," Sapnap said.
"You can't call dibs on people you dipshit," Punz laughed.
"Don't care, dibs," Sapnap replied.
Punz rolled his eyes and smacked Sapnap upside the head, forcing him to look away, though Sapnap did everything he could not to look away. The stranger finished talking to Bad, walking the rest of the way into the range alone, leaving Bad to walk back out.
They watched as the man, who looked so pristine and delicate, walk towards the counter with the weapons and slowly observed it. He picked one up and walked to the station two down from
Sapnap and Punz.
"Hey new guy," Punz called out.
It was perfect timing because it was just before he's put on the hearing protection on his counter. The man turned and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah you," Punz said in a friendly attempt to make friends. "We have a bet going. First to get a perfect score gets free lunch. You in?"
"Out of 10?" He asked.
The British accent rolled off his tongue so easily that both Sapnap and Punz physically took a step back. The stranger continued to place his target on the carrier and sent it back, waiting for either of the men to recover from their shock and answer him.
"Yeah," Sapnap replied. "Losers buys the lunch though," He chuckled. "No pressure, but I hold the range record for the time being." Punz simply rolled his eyes.
"You're cute," The Brit muttered, pulling his ear protection on, indicating that Sapnap and Punz should probably do the same. "You think you can beat me."
Without further invitation, he raised his gun and let off shot after shot after shot. Each one was more precise than the last. Sapnap and Punz stared, gaped more like it, that they didn't even count. They only knew it got to ten when the mand stopped and clicked the button that brought the carrier back to him.
The man cleaned his gun and took the target the second that it came near him, smirking at himself as he walked towards Punz and Sapnap.
"You sure about that bet?" He asked snidely, pressing the paper target onto Sapnap's chest before walking out of the gun range.
Sapnap and Punz both stared at the paper. Not only did he hit all ten shots in the head, but the clusters were so close that they looked more like bigger holes than separate bullet holes. Needless to say, Sapnap and Punz were both very impressed.
"Not a newbie," Punz said slowly.
"I don't fucking think so," Sapnap agreed.
Sapnap quickly wrapped up his training in the shooting range even though he'd gotten there probably less than 20 minutes ago. He left Punz to do the rest of his training, while he walked out to the main floor and looked for the mysterious stranger.
Looking around he saw the man walking into Bad's office. He also saw Dream, who'd also just walked out of Bad's office, coming towards him with a file in hand.
"Dream," Sapnap hissed as he ran up to his friend.
"Yes?" Dream sang softly, not looking up from his phone at all.
"Who's that?" Sapnap asked.
"Who's what?" Dream asked back though he was clearly not paying attention.
"That," Sapnap repeated, eyes staring at the British agent currently talking to Bad through the window in Bad's office.
"That who?" Dream continued to be absolutely useless to have a conversation with. Sapnap rolled his eyes and placed a hand over Dream's phone and forced it away from him. "Hey," Dream whined. "I was in the middle of texting Karl."
"Yeah, you can text Karl later," Sapnap replied lazily as he turned Dream's face until he looked back into Bad's office. "Now, who is that?" He asked.
"Oh him?" Dream said easily. "MI6. Some world-class art thief is about to hit the MET apparently, and it's his case back when they were in London, so they sent him over."
"Dibs," Sapnap said.
"What do you mean dibs?" Dream looked at him quizzically.
"Dibs," Sapnap repeated. "On him, I have dibs."
"Di- You don't need to dibs me Sapnap, I have a boyfriend," Dream scoffed incredulously. "Karl would kill me."
"Good because I have dibs," Sapnap repeated, his eyes still staring at the British agent. "Wait," He glanced over at the file Dream carried under his arm. "Did Bad give you the case?"
"Yeah, he just sa-" Dream said slowly but immediately he was interjected by Sapnap.
"Can I have it?" Sapnap requested. "Can I dibs on the case?"
"Sapnap, you can't dibs on something that was already given to me," Dream told him.
"Well you're my best friend so I think you should do it for me because you love me," Sapnap said with a cheeky grin. Dream stared at him flatly. "Okay, I'll do all your paperwork for like a week."
"I don't know," Dream hummed. "It's an international case Sapnap, it's a pretty good catch if I'm primary."
"Okay, a month," Sapnap said. "All your paperwork for a month."
Dream pursed his lips and waited.
"Both yours and Karl's paperwork, but only three weeks each," Sapnap groaned. "You're such a simp and a shark."
"Well, you're an even bigger simp apparently," Dream grinned cheekily before holding out the file for Sapnap to take. But before Sapnap could put his hands on it, Dream flicked it away.
"Whatever," Sapnap said, starting to flick open the file and skim the details.
"You're talking to Bad about this though," Dream said. "You ask him for the case. I don't wanna deal with that whole thing. If he says no, then I'm taking it back."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sapnap said. "I'll deal with Bad."
Dream handed Sapnap the file before walking away, going back to texting on his phone. Right about that time, Sapnap turned to see the MI6 agent walk out of Bad's office and to the little casework area that's filled with boxes of files that he'd never seen before. He'll try to figure out what is in those cases later, he has other things he needs to do right now.
Like, beg Bad to let him take the case.
So Sapnap stalked into Bad's office and closed the door behind him, making his chief lookup from finishing up some very important paperwork.
"I want in," Sapnap said.
"What?" Bad replied, his brows furrowing at Sapnap.
"I have dibs on the case, I want the case," Sapnap said vigorously.
"Do you have-" Bad's eyes clocked the file Sapnap had in his hands. "Did Dream give you the file?"
"I asked for dibs," Sapnap said.
"Sapnap, it doesn't work like that," Bad laughed. "You can't just ask for cases."
"Well I did, and Dream said I could if I have your permission, so-" Sapnap pursed his lips. "Permit me Bad."
"Sapnap, that's not how it works," Bad said.
"Why not?" Sapnap whined. "You just- Do you think I'm worse than Dream? You do think I suck?"
"Okay, that's not fair," Bad rolled his eyes. "I didn't say-"
"No, but you meant it," Sapnap accused. "You think Dream is better than me."
"No, Sapnap-" Bad said.
"That's fine," Sapnap frowned dramatically. "I thought you loved all your kids equally, but clearly you have favorites."
"I do not-" Bad gasped. "You- You're just-"
Sapnap had a little cheeky grin on his face as he looked to a very exasperated-looking back.
"You just wanna flirt with Agent Davidson don't you?" Bad squinted at him.
"Is that his name?" Sapnap's ears perked up. "No, I mean, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't," Bad sighed.
"Please?" Sapnap begged. "I'll do a good job, I'll do a fantastic job."
"You also are not the person they requested-" Bad winced. "They asked for Dream."
"I'll do a better job than Dream, I'm the best," Sapnap said.
"He'd worked with MI6 before," Bad said.
"Bad, come on," Sapnap whined.
Bad looked at Sapnap, tapping his fingers on the table as he pursed his lips. Sapnap just balanced himself on the heels of his feet, hands folding together, much like a little kid, waiting for Bad to say something else, whether it's to deny him or not.
"Alright fine," Bad conceded. "You can have the case. But Dream still has to be your secondary because they asked for him. And you'll be running with the usual team, correct?"
"Hm?" Sapnap's gaze was already trailing to peek at Agent Davidson outside of Bad's office that he didn't even listen to the rest of what Bad had to say.
"The usual team, correct?" Bad pressed.
"Yeah, yeah Dream, Karl, Q, Punz, I got it," Sapnap waved lazily.
"Then you're free to go, I'll brief everyone in fifteen," Bad told him.
"Thank you," Sapnap grinned as he left Bad's office.
His first destination though was out and straight to the breakroom where he found Karl and Quackity sitting around with a cup of coffee, like the useless people they are.
"There he is," Karl said teasingly. "Hey, thanks for doing all my paperwork for like three weeks," He added sarcastically.
"What? No fair, I want my paperwork done for three weeks," Quackity exclaimed.
"Yeah, well his boyfriend is a fucking extortionist," Sapnap spat bitterly.
"What can I say? He does love me," Karl giggled into his coffee.
"I need a favor," Sapnap said. "I need everything you need to know about an Agent Davidson from MI6."
"Oh my god, that's what this is about?" Quackity laughed.
"Just help me out, man!" Sapnap yelled.
"A week," Quackity said. "That's all I want."
"Fine," Sapnap grumbled.
"Let's go," Quackity bounced excitedly. "Come, come, come," He said as the three of them headed towards Quackity's desk.
Quackity typed on his keyboard, his login and password, having been the only person that regularly accesses the company database and search algorithm, and sent out a search for Agent Davidson. The research was plentiful.
"Look I know you kinda have a crush on this guy, but this seems excessive," Karl commented offhandedly. "Did you even talk to him?"
"Well, kinda," Sapnap shrugged.
"Kinda," Karl looked at him questioningly. "All this for a kinda?"
"Yeah he came into the range and we kinda-" Sapnap shrugged. "We kinda talked."
"How many words is kinda?" Quackity asked.
"Like 10," Sapnap answered.
"Well you're kinda an idiot," Karl said.
"I see why though. Have you seen him?" Quackity said as Agent Davidson's ID photo came up on the screen. "Tell me, who looks that good on their ID?"
"Damn, okay," Karl hummed. "Out of your league by the way," He turned to Sapnap.
"Shut up," Sapnap warned in a mocking high voice.
"No, I agree with Karl," Quackity said as he read through Davidson's history. "His name is George Davidson. He's got like, an 87% arrest rate on his cases, took down the largest criminal South of Yorkshire, he's got a very successful, also very terrifying stint as a sniper. He's the youngest field agent ever promoted for a senior position but turned it down."
"Worked with Interpol, has caught bad guys in Florence, Stuttgart, Munich, Oslo, Paris-" Karl read the list off the side of Quackity's screen. "And like thirteen other cities across 5 countries. Met Prince Harry, like three times. Codename 404, specializes in undercover work. This is an impressive laundry list he has."
"So way out of your league," Quackity concluded.
"Well, I can fucking try," Sapnap demanded. "And we're all working the case so you have to hype me up."
"Do we now?" Karl asked teasingly.
"I'm already doing your paperwork, just help a guy out," Sapnap said.
"You're such a simp," Quackity cackled.
"I'm working primary on the case, so be nice," Sapnap said. "Briefing's in 5 minutes."
"Okay boss," Karl hummed jokingly.
Sapnap walked away from Quackity's desk, leaving his friends to laugh and chill for a few moments. He walked towards the main floor, still checking out the MI6 agent who seemed to be going through the files and starting to pin things to board.
Sapnap walked over to Dream's desk this time, seeing Punz back from his shooting range and sitting on Dream's desk just casually chatting.
"You got Q to run a background check?" Dream asked the second Sapnap approached them.
"Seriously, do you and Karl just talk to each other like all the time?" Sapnap rolled his eyes.
"Dude, you're fucking embarrassing," Punz chuckled. "This guy fucking, smoked Sapnap on the range, and the first thing that goes through Sapnap's head is how can I go out with him."
"He's pretty cute though," Dream admitted. "And totally out of Sapnap's league."
"Dude!" Sapnap smacked him upside the head. "Be supportive."
"I gave you the goddamn case," Dream said.
"I bought the goddamn case," Sapnap insisted.
"Well Karl said to be nice and hype you up, so we will be," Dream muttered.
"Briefing's in 5 minutes," Sapnap told them.
"Oh am I going to be involved in this clown-fest?" Punz said.
"Just be in the room in five," Sapnap said exasperatedly before leaving.
Sapnap got to the briefing room before anyone else, taking his seat closest to the presenting front of the room. He still carried the file in hand, reading deeper than his first initial scan. Yeah, okay. Art heist, multiple perpetrators, elaborate plans, and yet to be caught.
Much to his surprise and also his delight, the second person to walk into the room was George Davidson.
"Really thought I was going to be the first one here," George hummed as he took the seat across from Sapnap.
"Well, you thought wrong," Sapnap said with a smile.
They didn't get much time to interact though since Karl and Quackity walked in seconds later. Karl took a seat next to Sapnap while Quackity took the seat next to George, immediately striking up a conversation. Dream came in seconds later, eyes lighting up like a puppy dog before making his way to sit next to Karl. Sapnap could've sworn he almost ran. Punz came in, walking and talking next to Bad, and then the whole team was there.
"Right," Bad said. "Our newest case, New York. There is an international fugitive, or perhaps fugitives, that has traveled to our country and is about to wreak some havoc. The MI6 has sent one of their agents over, and requested our help to apprehend these criminals so that Agent Davidson can bring them home."
Bad goes on to hand the files down the table.
"Agent Davidson, take it away, if you please," Bad said as he stepped aside and took a seat.
George stood up and cleared his throat, taking the little presentation clicker in hand and turning on the TV.
"His name is Wilbur Soot," George started. "Or that's what we know him as. No one knows his real name. Actually, no one knows much anything about him. Where he came from, how he started doing this, or why. Wilbur Soot is how he introduced himself, and he- by this far, is the only one that we know by name."
With a click of the remote, the TV showed multiple pictures of the man in question. A tall man with curly brown hair, wearing glasses and a coat.
"By existence, however, we know what that he has at least three more- colleagues if you might call them, might go up to five or six, both in England and here in the States," George said.
"None of these people you know by name?" Dream asked.
"His friends? No," George shook his head. "That's actually why it's an issue. With every con he pulls, he barely tries to hide it. All the attention goes to him and all authorities know about him and only him that all attention is devoid from his group."
"He's like the invisible gorilla in reverse," Sapnap said.
The room stopped and all turned to Sapnap in question.
"The invisible gorilla," Sapnap repeated. "Selective attention. We had a guest lecture about this like last year."
"You paid attention to the talks?" Quackity asked.
"I'm-" Sapnap gaped at how useless the rest of the table was. "It's that really popular video. You tell the audience, hey pay attention to how many passes these men are doing with the basketball, and so they do, and completely miss the gorilla walking in the background."
"Right," George said slowly. "Actually, you're not entirely wrong."
"He's such a red flag that he shows up and every single law enforcement claws onto him," Punz commented. "And his friends do the heist?"
"Essentially," George huffed. "And he's the only one that's ever caught, but always escapes days later because of his invisible gorilla group."
"How many times has he escaped?" Karl asked.
"Unproudly," George winced. "More than half a dozen."
"Half a dozen?" Dream exclaimed.
"More," Karl commented.
"His friends are really sneaky," George said. "For one, we know one of them are really good with tech, we're talking the cameras, comms, and everything. One does the masterminding, there's got to be a few undercovers."
"Okay," Quackity said. "So we're going in blind, good to know. What else do you have?"
"The MET Gala," George said. "Based on history, reputation, and ego alone, they're going to hit the MET Gala."
"Which is in a few days," Sapnap said. "If it's predictable that they do a heist there, why did they send you just now and not like, I don't know, two weeks ago so we can prepare."
"Because they can't send me on baseless trips across the ocean," George said. "Now I knew that he would be here, but MI6 only caught his face feed going through immigration two days ago."
"So now we have less than a week to figure out what they're trying to do, stop it, and catch Wilbur Soot, and maybe the rest of his team," Bad concluded.
"We'll get to the rest of the team," George sighed, clearly thinking it was not even plausible. "Wilbur is a step in the right direction."
"Alright," Sapnap said. "What do we do?"
"So I'm going to need you to get me in contact with the local authorities chief," George said and Bad nodded. "I'm going to need two people to on a covert site visit, one to go through their security tech, the other to their security detail, two to go through some old heist details, cam footage, clues, and evidence, and Agent- Dream, is it? -is going to help me plan the ins and outs of the night of the Gala."
"Uh-" Dream said. "Actually-" Dream turned to Bad.
"Right," Bad said. "Agent Sapnap is going to help you with that actually. He's primary."
"Agent Sap-" George turned and saw Sapnap holding his hand up. "-nap."
"Yep," Sapnap said.
"Why?" George turned to Bad. "I was promised the best you have, and I was promised Agent Dream."
"Well I can assure you Agent Sapnap is just as good as Agent Dream," Bad said. "None of my men are better-"
"Sure, you can say that," George said. "But why again, can't one of your agents do as promised?"
"He's busy," Karl said.
"Agent Dream is busy," George slowly said.
"Yeah it's their anniversary," Quackity chimed in.
"Seven and a half months," Punz added.
Sapnap placed his head down and covered his face, his emotions a cocktail of embarrassment, disbelief, and hopelessness. He wanted to both cry and laugh at the same time.
"Agent Dream can't help me plan to stop a world-class heist that will probably happen during the MET Gala, because he's busy celebrating his 7 and a half month anniversary with Agent Jacobs," George recounted slowly. He turned to look quizzically at Bad, who simply had his hand nonchalantly covering his mouth.
"Yes," Dream replied.
George looked back at the table and he's never felt more surrounded by idiots than he has at that moment.
"I mean, Sapnap is very much a hard worker that he would be better to have around for overtime and nighttime planning," Dream said.
"Yeah, and also, Sapnap is super smart, I mean, he's really good at planning," Karl added.
"He's like one of our best agents, actually," Punz added.
"Really, he's the best person for this job," Quackity nodded.
George sighed, lips still apart as he stared at the table in disbelief.
"I assure you, Agent Davidson, Sapnap is very qualified to assist you in this case," Bad said.
"Alright," George shook his head, "Fine, I don't have time for this."
George took his own file and walked to the workstation, letting the other team split themselves up. Strangely enough, Karl and Dream weren't as annoying as they usually were, instead insisting that they split. Karl and Quackity took the old cases while Punz and Dream went to tour the MET. Sapnap followed George to the work area and poured over the case files as George went off to talk to the local police.
It wasn't as exciting as he thought it would be, staring at blueprints of the Museum, the locations of each and every video camera, finding blindspots. He was also staring at the very and really mean very, extensive guest list. Okay, that part was a little exciting. There were a lot of big names that be recognized, though the more important guest list that he has to focus on was the names that weren't important. This includes stylists, assistants, bodyguards, publicists, who are somewhat important on their own but do not have notable names.
And yes, it was a big disappointment to Sapnap that the cute MI6 agent pretty much spent the whole day on the phone talking to anyone and everyone except for him.
"I think I'm clocking off for the night," Sapnap declared at about close to 10 PM, barely nudging George out of his trance in staring at a pile of paper. "You should too, I think."
"I'm fine," George replied. "If I go back to my hotel, I'm probably gonna take files with me to work, so what's the point."
"Well the point is to not bring your files home and get some proper sleep," Sapnap said.
"Thanks for the concern, but I said I'm fine," George said.
"Okay," Sapnap replied awkwardly. "Have a good night."
George didn't even answer him, only going back to reading over the files and details of the event. Sapnap felt like an idiot. He'd spent so much, trying so hard to get the opportunity to spend time with this stranger from London, but then he just didn't. Sure, George wasn't making it any easier on him, but he was also too intimidated to actually flirt with him.
He felt ridiculous. Though, he was more scared about how his friends will most definitely tease him for all the big talk and calling dibs while he was in fact, a chicken and didn't even attempt to flirt or do anything for that matter.
Maybe he'll try tomorrow morning.
Sapnap was grabbing his keys and heading out his apartment door when he got a phone call from Dream.
"Are you still at home?" Dream asked immediately before Sapnap could even do anything.
"I'm heading out right now, I'll be there in-"
"No, no, go back," Dream said. "Get like, some clean clothes and a new toothbrush."
"What?" Sapnap asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Your lover boy spent the night here," Dream said in hushed voices. "What better way to win him over?"
Sapnap stopped in his tracks, feeling a bit ridiculous at what Dream was suggesting, but to be fair, he was also the only one amongst them that is currently in a long-term and committed relationship. I mean, technically Karl too, but that doesn't really count does it?
Sapnap was around five minutes late to work, a side effect of always leaving your house with only little time to spare that going back to pick up an extra few things made him late.
By the time he got to the office, George was already up and walking around. The same coffee mug that he'd been drinking from since yesterday was still on the table, the files are strewn around the table a little messier than the night before.
Karl was ready to greet Sapnap with a mug of freshly brewed coffee, a bit of cream, and one sugar. Obviously, that wasn't Sapnap's order and Sapnap knew that as much. He quickly thanked his friend before walking back to the workstation. He silently placed the coffee on the table. George didn't even look up though, which was fair seeing as how he would've just assumed it was for Sapnap himself.
"Cream and one sugar," Sapnap declared, slowly sliding the coffee closer to George. George looked up and tilted his head a little bit. "That sure as hell ain't my order."
"Thanks," George mumbled, giving him a bit of a strained smile.
"Also," Sapnap said, holding out a little cloth bag in front of George. "My shirts are probably a bit too big on you but there's an FBI crewneck, a toothbrush- We have showers two floors down if you wanna get freshened up quick since you absolutely refuse to go home."
"Oh. Uhm-" George slowly stood up and took the bag from Sapnap's hands. "Thanks."
"Better be quick or else your coffee will be cold when you come back," Sapnap told him. "I'm also going down to get some bagels, do you like cream cheese?"
"Yeah, it's fine," George answered.
"Everything bagel with cream cheese sounds good to you?" Sapnap asked. "You gotta eat breakfast."
"Yeah, sounds-" George nodded. "Sounds really good actually."
"Alright," Sapnap gave him a little wink before walking away.
He walked past Punz who'd observed the whole interaction. Punz simply raised his hand and Sapnap took his very deserved high-five before going down to the street to buy them, and also maybe his friends who deserved a bit of love for helping him out. It takes a village, right? Or is that like, exclusively for babies.
Sapnap came back bearing gifts, his friend clamoring onto him like he was the only one carrying the breathing line. He tossed Dream his bagel which he very cleverly caught, Karl picked his and Quackity's bagel up before going back to work. Sapnap passed Punz's desk so he dropped off his before passing Bad's office and giving him his morning bagel. By the time Sapnap was done with his round, George was already sitting back in his chair, wearing his, admittedly, crewneck that was too big.
"The best New York has to offer," Sapnap said as he handed George the bagel.
"Thank you, again," George said as he gently unwrapped his breakfast and began munching on it.
Day two was a lot better. There still wasn't a lot of talking, they mostly worked, but there was some discussion about personnel placements and Plan A, backup Plan B, and backup backup Plan D. No, there is no Plan C, that's a bit complicated.
"You know you don't have to keep buying food for me right?" George said as he looked at the various Chinese takeout boxes that Sapnap keeps endlessly pulling from the bag.
"Well we gotta eat dinner," Sapnap said. "And don't worry, I'm getting the bureau to pay for it."
"Alright then, I feel less guilty," George chuckled as he took some chopsticks and a box of chow mien.
"So tell me, British man," Sapnap finally dared himself to start an actual conversation with George. "How do you like it here so far?"
"I mean, I've been to the Stated before," George muttered. "And I've worked with the FBI before. You guys are just-" George lulled his head and took a bite of his noodles.
"Okay, what is that supposed to mean," Sapnap asked accusatorily.
"Nothing just like-" George shrugged. "You guys aren't the most professional team of law enforcement I've worked with. Contraire, you might be the least."
"I think you might be exaggerating," Sapnap disagreed.
"I've worked in at least 8 different countries, all with local police," George said. "I think I can judge."
"Can you though?" Sapnap asked skeptically.
"7 and a half month anniversary?" George raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, that was obviously a joke and a lie," Sapnap raised his hand. "I will confess, that was kind of my fault."
"How so?" George asked though it looked like he already had a guess.
"I may or may not have asked to work with you," Sapnap shrugged. "Come on, you can't blame there for that."
"Only one of your teammates right now has something close to a remotely normal name," George stated after a bit more thinking. "And it's not your chief!"
"Well Bad's more like an older brother you know, we call him Bad because it's a nickname," Sapnap said defensively. "It's cute, we have nicknames for each other."
"Yeah, but you also don't introduce yourself to other people as Agent Sapnap," George looked at him flatly. "So much so that my boss had to tell me with a straight face that I need to see an Agent Dream."
"You don't like my nickname?" Sapnap jokingly pouted.
"Well, your real name is a lot more normal isn't it?" George hummed.
"Now how do you know my real name?" Sapnap asked cheekily.
"It's on your badge stupid," George rolled his eyes. "What? You got a Sapnap, a Dream, a Quackity, a Punz, and a Bad-"
"Geez, wait till you hear Bad's full nickname," Sapnap mumbled as he continued to eat his cashew chicken.
"What is it?" George asked.
"No, I think you gotta earn it," Sapnap said.
"Okay, how do I earn it?" George entertained the idea.
"You gotta be as unprofessional as the rest of us," Sapnap shrugged. "You gotta introduce yourself as a stupid nickname and keep a straight face."
"I-" George wanted to laugh a little bit. "That's not fair. What about your friend Jacobs?"
"He gets a pass because he saved us once from a pipe bomb," Sapnap said. "He also already is as unprofessional as the rest of us, he doesn't say fuck, he says honk," He explained, and George snorted. "Like regularly. I'm talking one time we're talking to the NYPD Police commissioner in One Police Plaza, he straight up said, and I quote, I don't know what the honk happened."
"Oh, so I've just got to embarrass myself there, is that it?" George said.
"Maybe a little bit," Sapnap said.
"I don't have a nickname though," George told him.
"Well you have 404, that doesn't sound dumb though, that just sounds badass," Sapnap commented.
"Why thank you," George said lightly.
"You gotta tell me how you got nickname some time," Sapnap said. "I mean I heard about your sniper stint. I can't believe you just went to the range to show off and con me to buying you lunch."
"You heard about my sniper stint?" George asked cockily. "Or did you look it up?"
"I've said way too much," Sapnap chuckled.
"Plus, I didn't make the bet, you friend Punz did," George said pointedly. "I was just there to practice with your guns since the magazine clip was on the other side. I'm left-handed."
"Good to know," Sapnap hummed.
They continued to talk, even after they were finished with the eating portion of the dinner. They still talked though, barely focusing on any of their work. Sapnap felt a bit guilty about it. Only a little bit though, since talking with George made it all the while worth it.
As the clock ticked closer to 11 PM, Sapnap finally insisted they go home and leave their dark and empty office. Sapnap also insisted on driving George back to his hotel, under the reason that he was afraid George was going to spend another night in the office. George tried to tell him it was fine, but it was in the end, a very valid concern and a little sweet. So George let Sapnap drive him home.
"I don't know-" George said slowly. "I don't know if there's like a laundry mat around here that I can wash your sweatshirt before giving it back."
"You're a guest at a hotel, I'm not gonna make you wash the clothes. It's fine," Sapnap brushed him off.
"It's super comfortable though," George said. "Do you have a gift shop or something? Like, can I buy a sweater as a souvenir?" He asked jokingly.
"Not quite like that," Sapnap said. "But I mean, if you like it so much, you're free to keep it."
"No, I can't keep your sweatshirt," George laughed, shaking his head.
"Yes you can," Sapnap assured him. "Look if you're going to bring any souvenir back home to London, might as well be something you already know you like," Sapnap shrugged. "I'll just get an extra sweatshirt the next time around."
George looked at him, mouth open like he wanted to argue the point, but ultimately decided against it.
"Thank you," George said.
"You're welcome," Sapnap replied. "See you tomorrow?"
"Obviously. We still have a lot of things that we need to do," George sighed. "Things that we didn't get to do tonight," He playfully squinted.
"We're got like three more days. It'll be fine," Sapnap said. "Goodnight, George."
"Goodnight," He replied before going off into his hotel.
Sapnap may or may not have sent off a smiley face emoji into the big group chat he has with the rest of his friends.
The next three days went by in a blur. It almost went by too fast for Sapnap's liking.
There was that little card game they had in the breakroom during lunch in which Quackity essentially conned everyone out of their money. There was yet another bet at the shooting range that Punz started one morning in which George was excluded only because he was too good, even though Dream still tried to challenge him and failed.
And then it was the day of the MET Gala. God, Sapnap was eternally grateful that his team, and now also with George, knew how to somewhat have fun. Amidst all that fun though, you have to understand that they've probably poured close to 70 hours of work in the last 5 days alone. Preparing for this Wilbur Soot was unbelievably annoying, and it was taxing. He couldn't wait for it to be over.
They've been preparing since dawn.
There was security everywhere, specifically the places on the blueprints where Sapnap and George had deemed it necessary that they cover the blind spots. There are additional cameras installed only the night before for extra security but also the element of surprise. They've charted all the potential escape routes and stationed agents on those pathways. They've established the proper audio channels for their radio so that they could communicate.
The last thing they needed was an inside man.
And that's where George and Sapnap came in.
See the plan is to have them dressed as guests, walk amongst the stars, and they could be in the middle of the action without looking too suspiciously alarming to Wilbur, who will no doubt also be in the middle of the crowds.
Sapnap was given a suit to put on about an hour before the event started. He didn't ask how expensive the suit was (the answer is very) and how or why it actually fit him like it was tailored to his size. He did as he was told. The white shirt with the cufflinks, the vest, and the jacket on top of it. Pants complete with the dress shoes. The last thing was a bowtie that Sapnap does not have a lot of experience in, so he thought he might ask for Dream's help later.
Sapnap made his way to the meetup spot, where Dream was supposedly acting as his chauffeur, driving the limo that would take them to the event. The second Sapnap was in view though, he was immediately cat-called.
"Damn baby, you look good," Quackity yelled, much to Sapnap's embarrassment. "Muy guapo."
"Look at you all dressed up big daddy, I see you," Punz added in laughter.
Sapnap was trying his hardest to not turn red, but all he could do was just laugh. The sleek black suit with the velvet-lined collar did make him look unbelievably gorgeous, he himself can admit that much.
"Where's your tie handsome?" Dream asked teasingly.
"Here, help me put it on later, I just kinda wanna breathe right now," Sapnap said, waving the little tie he held in his hand. "Where's Karl?"
"He was helping George with his get-up," Dream shrugged.
"Help?" Sapnap asked.
"Apparently," Dream muttered. "They're probably done already i- there," Dream said as he caught the sight of his boyfriend exiting the hallway and heading their way.
Karl was, very obviously, not alone though. George was behind him and get-up was very much an understatement.
"I-" Sapnap breath was literally stolen from his lungs.
There George walked, and he was- God.
Honestly, Sapnap couldn't even begin to describe it. A black dress with crystal beaded detailing that glimmered under the weird warehouse light. A plunging neckline all the way to his mid-torso. It was almost strapless but not quite, only a single thin strap wrapping around his neck. The rest of the gown wrapped down his body tightly making it look like it would be hard to move, though when George moved, revealed a slit all the way up to his thigh. Oh and look, it's backless as well.
Now Sapnap could go on about the diamond necklace that hugged his neck a little too comfortably, flowing down and resting nicely on his chest. He could talk about the sunglasses that was probably stupid considering they were indoors but damn did it give him that stuck-up snotty rich boy aura that is honestly kind of addicting. Of course, this is all for show. That clutch bag had a pistol and handcuffs, Sapnap knew that for a fact. His hair was very subtly slicked back with a bit of gel, and he has silver dangly earrings.
George stopped walking though, to talk with Bad, leaving Karl to walk to the stunned and frozen group.
"Stop staring-" Karl hissed, his words directed at the two gaping nimrods though his hand was specifically punching Dream in the stomach the second he approached them.
"Ow," Dream whined as he caught Karl's hand before a second hit. "I wasn't staring, Sapnap was staring."
"Well Sapnap is embarrassing himself and you have a boyfriend," Karl stated vexedly.
"Well is my boyfriend going to dress up for me?" Dream immediately turned and raised an eyebrow at Karl who immediately flushed pink.
"Shut up," Karl muttered in voice an octave higher as he cleared his throat.
Dream chuckled and pulled Karl closer, Karl's back against his chest as his arms wrapped around Karl's body and rested on his shoulder. He planted a kiss on Karl's cheek before looking at a still gaping Sapnap.
"Okay, Karl is kinda right though," Punz softly punched Sapnap on the shoulder to push him out of his daze. "You're kinda embarrassing."
"Huh?" Sapnap hummed as he looked at Punz, tearing his gaze away from George for the first time since he walked into that room.
"Down bad," Karl tutted.
"Pull yourself together man," Quackity held onto Sapnap's shoulder and shook him violently. "You gotta look cool. Look all suave."
"You're not very snazzy," Dream said. "You're very shaky right now."
"I'm-" Sapnap squeaked. "I'm fine."
George quickly finished his conversation with Bad and walked over to the group, more importantly standing in front of Sapnap, looking him up and down before taking his bowtie from his hand and immediately started to tie it around his neck.
"You look-" Sapnap said slowly. George didn't look away up at him, only focused on tying his bow on nicely. "I thought the point was to be undercover."
"Undercover doesn't mean bland," George said. "We're blending in with some of the most high-fashion people on the planet."
"But isn't the point to be covert?" Sapnap said. "I don't think you can be covert looking like that."
"Well, your point is to be covert," George hummed. "I'm the distraction," George shrugged. "You're my- invisible gorilla."
"Did you just call me your invisible gorilla?" Sapnap chuckled but George just rolled his eyes.
Once Sapnap's bow was tied up neat and nicely, the two of them got in the car, Dream driving the limousine. It was a pretty short ride, all of which was spent testing the coms system to make sure that Quackity in the black van can still hear them when they finally get into the event.
As prepared and organized, Dream stopped the car at the start of the red carpet.
"Have fun you crazy kids," Dream said teasingly as the door to the limo opened.
Out the two stepped, bombarded by cameras. Paparazzi are a little slow to catch on, usually going on a take-the-picture-first, ask-questions-later, they hardly realized that they didn't recognize Sapnap and George. They weren't famous, not in the slightest. But still, Sapnap couldn't blame them for wanting to take a picture of George.
The carpet went by like a blur. They didn't go through the interviews, since obviously, they didn't have anything to talk about, they passed through the photo line pretty quick, not wanting an excessive amount of pictures of them out in the world. Soon they were inside, eyes slowly scanning the crowd.
"We know what he looks like, how hard is it to just, find him and catch him?" Sapnap said.
"Not hard at all," George replied, holding a glass of champagne in his hand though he knew better than to drink on duty. "Catching Wilbur alone isn't enough, we need to catch at least some of his colleagues and also stop whatever job it is they're trying to pull."
"Still convinced it's the jewelry collection?" Sapnap asked.
"If it's just some normal other painting, they could've done it any other day where the place isn't crowded with people and cameras," George said. "The collection is only here today. Open for today."
"Yeah okay," Sapnap said. "Everyone, extra eyes on the jewels please, we don't want any chances. Thank you."
"Copy that," Punz replied.
"Wilbur is probably smooching up to some rich, less popular invitees, that's his M O," George said. "Once there's a distraction, his team will jump into motion, and-"
There was a clutter of plates falling and crashing onto the ground and everyone's attention turned to a woman, now passed out on the ground.
"Help! She's allergic to shrimps," Someone yelled out. "Quick, someone call 911."
"Like that," George said, his eyes quickly scanning the crowd for people who are not focused on the inherent emergency.
"You sure it's not just an accident?" Sapnap asked.
"They pay hundreds of thousands for the food tonight," George said. "You wouldn't miss a dietary restriction much less a life-threatening allergy."
"Right," Sapnap said. "All units on standby, we may get hit pretty soon. Make sure medic is also coming, tell the police to contact dispatch."
"On it," Karl replied.
"Eyes open, eyes open," George instructed. "We-"
Loud sirens start to blare throughout the whole museum.
"Is that security or fire, talk to me," Sapnap yelled as he and George went off to the side.
"Uh-" Quackity stuttered. "Both?"
"Both?" Sapnap exclaimed.
"Oh my god," George said. "Security alarm is a lockdown protocol, but fire is a release protocol. Fire overrides security, all doorways will be open."
"Units 2, 3, and 7, how are you guys near the West Wing?" Sapnap asked.
"Nothing here chief," He heard Skeppy answer him from 2.
"None for me either," Antfrost replied from 7.
"Three?" Sapnap called. "Three do you copy?"
"Who's on three?" George asked.
"Sam?" Sapnap called. "Sam?"
"I'm going to him right now," Antfrost declared. "Chances are we had a breach."
"I'm also on the way," Punz told them.
"Careful with the exits, they're starting to file the people out of the museum because of the fire alarm," George warned.
"They're gone," Sam's voice suddenly crackled through the comms. "They're-"
"What? Sam?" Sapnap called out. "Repeat, Sam repeat."
"His unit got taken out," Ant said across the comms. "I just got here, Sam's not too badly injured, a pretty deep head lac though."
"The jewels are gone, they slipped through all the other units but Sam's, and they took the jewels," Punz was panting. "Ant, you got this?"
"Yeah, yeah-" Ant replied.
"Okay, if all else fails, we get Wilbur, we know what he looks like, even if his friends escape, we're not letting Wilbur escape," George said.
George places his hand on Sapnap's shoulder, holding on to him for support, before getting up on the nearest chair to boost him to the nearest table. Now he stands taller than everyone else, trying his best to look for his suspects.
"Sapnap," Ant called over the comms. "Sam saw some of them when they're heisting. One boy, tall blonde, a little over six feet, wearing a kitchen busboy uniform. A man, a little under six feet, also blonde hair, wearing a navy blue jumpsuit posing as staff."
"Okay, everyone copy?" Sapnap said, replied by a bunch of confirmation callouts.
"There," George said. "Suspect wearing a black suit with an overcoat, blue tie, round glasses, about 35 feet away from the Main Entrance. Be advised, he is usually armed. He's also surrounded by important people. Do not put civilians in harm's way.
George was about to come down from the table when he saw Wilbur turn and met his face. He should've got off sooner, but now he's blown. Wilbur knew he was being chased and started to make a run for it.
"Stop!" George yelled.
Before Sapnap could blink, George had started sprinting on top of the tables. It was even more impressive when you realize he was wearing heels. He jumped onto the chairs and ran straight towards Wilbur, Sapnap running swiftly behind him through the slower more crowded route.
Celebrities were yelling and exclaiming when George jumped to tackle Wilbur.
The two fought it out, though unfortunately, Wilbur was first to get to the pistol that was in George's bag, taking it out and pointing it at George.
The crowd screamed and moved away, the alarm still blaring as hard as it could. It was a stand-off.
Wilbur loaded the bullet into the chamber but before Wilbur could pull the trigger though, his wrist was immediately caught by Sapnap. Sapnap smacked the gun out of his hand, threw a punch that landed with a loud sickening whack, and sent Wilbur to the floor. George came by seconds later and pressed his heels lightly on the groaning Wilbur's neck.
"Suspect apprehended, one Wilbur Soot," Sapnap declared.
"Did you miss me?" Wilbur managed to joke as he looked up at George.
"Don't try and talk to me," George hummed calmly.
"Sapnap, we got the boy," Dream declared. "He was trying to escape through the service entrance near the kitchen."
"And we also got the man," Punz said proudly. "Leaving through the emergency exit near the Egyptian corridor."
"And that's three out of three," Sapnap smiled and raised his hand up, George chuckling as he returned the high five.
Other agents came and apprehended Wilbur, some continuing to help clear out the museum from its guests. The cars and vans were all parked in the street, and George stood back watching the three perpetrators get cuffed. He looked at the two new faces that he's never seen before and vows to memorize them.
"Family," Quakckity said as he approached the group. "They're family."
"Meet the Watsons," Karl said dramatically. "Father Phil, eldest Will, youngest Tom."
"Oh, a family of criminals," Bad hummed.
"Dad had a long stint for masterminding heists, some of which has yet to be able to get pinned on him even though it matches his M O," Quackity said. "Will started taking front a few years ago, and Tommy just got started in the business."
"Tommy is also, seventeen," Karl said. "So things are about to be complicated at the least."
"At least we got them right? And we also got the jewel collection," George sighed.
"Almost," Bad informed them. "We didn't find the whole collection, some pieces- a lot of them actually, are still missing."
"You think they stashed them somewhere?" Sapnap asked. "Throw them in the vent to pick up on a later date?"
"They're sweeping the whole museum now, but alternatively-" Bad said.
"There's more of them," George replied. "There's definitely more of them. I don't think it's a coincidence that we got the three of them, and conveniently the three of them who are in one family."
"So you think they have something up their sleeves," Sapnap stated and George nodded.
"Yeah, definitely," George said. "But for now, the focus is on interrogating them then taking them home with me," He nodded. "I appreciate all your help Chief, guys," He turned to Bad before turning to the rest of the team. "It's been a pleasure."
George bowed his head slightly before walking away. Sapnap was quick to chase after him though.
"That's it?" Sapnap asked. "You got your men, so you leave?"
"That's the job Sapnap," George said. "If we think they have colleagues in the States that can break them out, it'll get more dangerous the longer we keep them here."
Sapnap simply sighed in disappointment, knowing very well there isn't much else he could do about it.
"I'm sure we'll see again," George said comfortingly. "And I still have your sweatshirt."
"Okay, fine," Sapnap grumbled. "You better get me something from the MI6 gift shop though."
"I will," George laughed softly. "It's been fun, working with you."
George held his hand out and Sapnap stared for a bit before taking it and shaking it. The touch lingered a little too long. So George finally pulled on his hand and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Sapnap was a little taken aback, though George let go and walked away before he can reel in his focus back.
He did note, however, the way his team and even more agents were cheering loudly and making kissing noises, and teasing him. Sapnap simply walked towards them with his face bright red.
The loud cheering also didn't escape George's attention as he stepped into the car where both Phil and Wilbur were being held custody in the back seat.
"That was cute," Wilbur sang the second George sat down. "Did you get an American boyfriend Agent Georgie?"
"You gonna take him home with you?" Phil joined in the conversation so casually. "I'm sure he'd love it."
George looked at them from the rearview mirror, in utter disgust and confusion, watching them talk as if they weren't just arrested for grand larceny 5 minutes ago. Although, they weren't entirely stupid.
Sapnap was still in the middle of goaded and teased, various people shaking him and patting him on the back when he heard the same British voice he's been religiously listening to for the last 5 days call out to Bad.
"Chief Bad," George called as he jogged over, stepping down from the car. "I have a request."
"Yes, Agest Davidson," Bad said, turning his attention away from his kids to answer to George.
"Well, the MI6, on behalf of Agent Gogy would like to request the assistance of one of your men to accompany the fugitives back to London," George said slowly. "The boy is going to be held here for a bit since he's underage and it's complicated. But there's two of them and one of me, so I'd rather not be outnumbered."
"Agent-" Bad hesitated, looking at a completely serious-faced George. "I don't know an Agent Go-gy. Why is he the one posing the request?"
"It's me," George said confidently, stealing a glance at a grinning Sapnap, who was covering his face to try and not laugh. "I'm Agent Gogy. It's a nickname," He reasoned.
"Oh! Okay," Bad exclaimed with a little cheery tone. "Do you have a- well, an agent in mind?" He asked, though he, like everyone else, knew the answer that was coming.
The cheering and teasing whistles only got harder, it honestly felt like they were both back in middle school. Sapnap was still blushing but this time he was accompanied by a similarly pink-flushed George, looking back at him. Dream and Quackity both shoved Sapnap until he stumbled forward in front of George.
"What do you say?" George asked him. "Fancy a trip across the pond?"
Sapnap chuckled, rolling his eyes again before leaning in to kiss George, a quick and sweet peck on the lips this time. Both of them were left smiling when they pulled away, their hands lingering on each other.
"I'd love that," Sapnap answered.