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Harry Potter and the Stupid Fucking Triwizard Tournament by notatakenusername
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Nov 2024
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Summary
“‘...issues an apology for what he has said and done.’” Snape finished, flicking the Daily Prophet shut and looking at Harry expectantly. Did he expect him to get upset?
“Borrrrringgg!” Harry blurted out, as Snape’s gaze fixated into a scowl.
“Boring, Potter? Boring? The most publicized newspaper berating you and talking about your pathetic love life is boring?” Snape sneered.
“Yeah, it kinda is,” Harry said as he fake yawned. “My love life isn't pathetic. I don’t even have a love life. Nor do you, and you probably won’t have one anytime soon if your ego continues to stay the same size as your nose.”
The Slytherins gaped at Harry, a few openly chuckling as Snape’s expression shifted into the constipation™ look. Ron abruptly laughed so hard he proceeded to accidentally knock over the bottle of stinksap onto Snape’s robes.
Harry finally burst out laughing. He really couldn’t help it this time.
Or,
The moment Harry James Potter hears his name come out of the stupid, obese, wine-glass doppelganger, (also known as the Goblet of Fire), he's done holding himself back. Cue the chaos that happens when he gives into his impulsive thoughts.
Series
- Part 1 of crack fics
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Summary
A series where Harry finds out he's Voldemort's son, and must walk through the shattered pieces of his life.
- Words:
- 51,879
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 254
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Katabasis by unreliable_narrator
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
27 Dec 2024
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Summary
“When our demigod heroes complete quests of a certain difficulty or influence, we offer them immortality, to become one of us. We tell them it’s a reward, and perhaps it is, but truthfully it is because their divinity has begun to outshine their humanity, and their mortal forms won’t hold forever. The same holds true for you.”
After Harry Potter's return to life in the Forbidden Forest, the Underworld deities judge that his time as a mortal must end. Harry, who was only just starting to get to grips with a magical world without war, must now enter a new world of myth, and take his place in the Underworld Court. Of course, Harry's never been very good at doing what he's told and won't give up on the life he fought for so easily.
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Summary
Harry Potter has Rabastan Lestrange's name on his arm. He's unhappy about this.
- Words:
- 4,873
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 110
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Let's Just Say by Anna_Hopkins, rictus_flame (Anna_Hopkins)
Fandom: Harry Potter - All Media Types
23 Oct 2024
- Words:
- 5,108
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 24