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How to get your adopted grandchildren to leave you alone by committing murder: A guide by Ra’s al Ghul

Summary:

Jason Todd is a menace and Ra's just wants him off of his lawn to go away.

Notes:

Batfamily Week 2023 Day 3

Something to Die For

Undercover | Presumed Dead | "Where were you? I needed you and you weren't there!"

Work Text:

Ra’s had lived a very long time. Ra’s could be patient. Ra’s had never found anyone quite as persistently irritating as Jason Todd-Wayne, who he refused to call Jason al Ghul regardless of Talia’s demands. It was bad enough she had kept the boy but to try and make Ra’s accept him as a grandson? 

No.


“I’m sure the Detective would be thrilled to learn of your continued existence,” he said, mentally adding on the “however regretful it may be” part he knew Jason knew he was thinking. 

The current bane of his existence had the audacity to grin. 

“Nah, I’m good.”


“Batman appears to have gained another child.”

“Cool.”

“Surely you must have some opinion on being replaced.”

“I’m fine.”


“I’m going to college.”

“Oh thank the gods.”


Ra’s had thought he’d catch a break when he finally got rid of Jason via Cambridge, but did he? No. It was going so well, too, except humanity was a bunch of collective idiots and there was a new plague, and thus the cause of all of his recent suffering was back in Nanda Parbat at Talia’s insistence. 

Ra’s wasn’t sure why she felt the need to bother with “quarantining” when the plague carried no danger toward any of them, but his daughter was persistent and stubborn and very good at getting her way. Obviously. 

Which was why the menace was returned to Nanda Parbat once more. 


It had been four months and the so-called “pandemic” still had no end in sight. He had hoped he might be rid of Jason once more come the fall term, but alas, the boy’s chosen university (along with all the other acceptable universities Ra’s had looked into in hopes of finding a solution) was moving to “online” formatted courses. 

What a terrible time to be alive. 

He needed a solution.


“Why won’t he just go back to that terrible place the Detective is so fond of.”

“The Joker is still alive.”

“The clown?” It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Was Jason really only torturing him here because one measly madman wasn’t yet dead?

“He is the one who murdered him, Father,” Talia said as if he ought to be more aware of Jason’s feelings on the matter of his death. He knew Jason’s feelings regarding his death. Everyone knew Jason’s feelings regarding his death. He had heard it ad nauseam for the past several months. 

“So why doesn’t he just kill him?” It seemed like a perfectly logical solution. 

Talia sighed. “He wants Bruce to do it for him.”

“Bruce Wayne doesn’t even know Jason’s alive.

Talia threw up her hands. “I know that. But he refuses to return to Gotham until he’s avenged, he refuses to allow me to deal with it, and he refuses to reveal his presence to his father until he’s ready.”

“Ready for what?” Whatever it was, Ra’s would see to it that it happened. He would help Jason be ready in whatever way he could. He would get that brat to go back to that sewer of a city if it was the last thing he…

“He has a plan to take over Gotham crime and force Bruce to confront and kill the Joker.”

He… what?

“Why?

“He wants Bruce to prove his love, I believe. He is under the impression that he can force his father’s hand at killing the clown, and believes he will kill his father as well.”

Ra’s stared at his daughter. That was the most absurd plan he had ever heard. 

“Why not just kill the clown himself and take over Gotham? Or kill them both and take over? Surely he is competent enough to do that,” Ra’s admitted, however begrudgingly. 

“I will not have him killing my beloved,” Talia growled. 

Because of course, she wouldn’t. 

Ra’s sighed. 

Why did people insist on making things so complicated? 


It took two weeks only because Ra’s wanted it to happen in a very particular way. He wanted the Joker’s death to appear natural, yet be seen by Jason as the gift it was. Without catching the Detective’s attention, of course. He was already dealing with one annoyance; he didn’t feel the need to add another.

A few well-placed people, however, and everything was in position for the Joker’s death. 

Honestly, it was hardly worth his personal touch. 

The things he did for peace, he thought with a sigh. 

Still, everything was ready, and it was time to finish this portion of his plan. Then he could focus on his real goal which was getting his supposed grandson out of his palace and let him go bother someone else for a while. Ra’s was not foolish enough to believe that even this would rid himself of Jason forever, but he would take such a respite as this might provide over Jason’s constant presence any day. 


Dropping the evidence of the clown’s demise in front of Jason, he glared at the boy as he waited for a reaction. 

“What’s this?” Jason asked. 

Ra’s continued to glare as the boy looked over the evidence. 

“Did you… did you kill the Joker?”

“Yes.”

“For me?”

“For all of us, really,” Ra’s replied. Mostly for himself, though. 

Jason’s face was shocked as he stared at the things in front of him, but his face slowly grew into a grin. 

“I knew it,” he said. 

“Knew what?” Ra’s demanded. 

“I knew I was the favorite grandchild.”

Ra’s was as collected as ever but on the inside were screams of unfathomable rage. 


Bruce sat mulling over the evidence. By all accounts, it was a natural death, but some things just weren’t adding up. If it was a plot, it was very well executed, but why send multiple people undercover to kill the Joker? Especially if they were, as he believed, some of Ra’s’ people. Why would Ra’s care about the Joker anyway? Why bother? And then for all of them to just leave…

But there hadn’t been a single spotting of the League in Gotham since, no demands had been made by any party, and the fallout of the Joker’s death had been surprisingly minimal. 

So why


He knew it had been the League. He knew it. Although why Ra’s was showing up personally a month later was still a mystery. 

Watching the man disembark from the private plane, he couldn’t help but wonder why the Demon’s Head was going through all this trouble. What did he possibly hope to gain from all of this?

Ra’s was followed closely by a young man who bore a striking resemblance to…

No. He couldn’t go there. Not now. 

Ra’s made his way straight to Bruce, ignoring the man with him and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else at the moment. 

Interesting. 

“Detective,” Ra’s said by way of greeting. 

Bruce nodded sharply. 

“Your son, Jason,” he said, gesturing to the young man who stood there grinning. 

Bruce felt anger welling up inside of him. How dare

“Hey, B. Long time, no see.”

Bruce’s scowl did nothing to faze either man. 

They all stood there in silence for a moment before Ra’s sighed. 

“I’ll leave the two of you to it then,” he said. “Remember to inform your…mother,” he bit out, “of your safe arrival here. Feel free to remain forever and not plague me with your continued presence.”

“Whatever you say, gramps,” the young man replied with a smirk. That did look like…

Ra’s let out a low grunt of annoyance and stalked back to his plane. 

“Love you too,” man-who-might-possibly-be-Jason yelled over his shoulder. 

Bruce stared at his maybe-not-dead-now son.

“I’m the favorite grandchild, obviously,” he said. 

Bruce kept staring. 

“Damian can protest all he wants but he knows it’s true.”

Bruce paused. 

“Who?”

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