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Qin Su watched Jiang Yanli undress for bed, taking off her white mourning robes to change into fresh thin undergarments. She could see the tattoo on her sister-in-law’s back, the long green vine that extended from the nape of her pale, delicate neck to the small of her curved back. There were buds interspersed along the length of the vine, but they’d shriveled up and closed. Qin Su guessed that before Jin Zixuan died those flowers would have been in full bloom.
Jiang Yanli noticed her staring.
She looked away quickly.
“Qin Su,” said Jiang Yanli, smiling at her as she approached the bed. “Are you sure you’re comfortable sleeping here?”
“Yes, I’m good,” Qin Su said, smiling back at her. “Yanli-jie’s bed is very comfortable.” She meant what she said; she quite liked being in this place which smelled of Jiang Yanli, lying in the cozy blankets while the other woman took care of her. Besides, she felt like she couldn’t get up. Being six months pregnant was a struggle, with her large belly that made her feel constantly off-balance and her swollen feet that needed to be rested way more often than they should.
Jiang Yanli climbed into bed beside her, slipping underneath the covers.
“Yanli-jie, can I ask a question?”
Jiang Yanli turned her head towards her. “Yes, of course.”
“Your flowers are closed, does that mean they won’t bloom again?”
“They might bloom again, but they will not be white peonies,” Jiang Yanli said, her hand going to touch her back. “Since my husband is gone.”
“Mine are closed too,” confessed Qin Su. “They’re just buds now, see.”
She pulled down her shirt a little, exposing the vine on her shoulder. Hers was on her arm, traveling from her shoulder to her elbow. Like most people, the plant had appeared when she was around sixteen years old, and bloomed around the time she first touched her special someone intimately.
It had happened the night she’d consummated her relationship with Jin Guangyao. The night the child she currently carried in her belly was conceived.
When he’d slipped his hands under her clothing and stripped her of her robes, the flowers had come to life, yellow peonies blossoming on her skin. Meanwhile, the buds that Jin Guangyao had on his arm bloomed into pink peonies. They had laughed at the fact that both of them had peonies by coincidence. She would’ve expected her future husband to have roses, as the significant others of most Qin clan members did. The type of flower that bloomed on the skin of one’s special person was inherited. It was strange that hers were peonies, as if she had any Jin blood, which was of course impossible since she knew who both her parents were.
But she strongly suspected that the pink peonies on Jin Guangyao’s body had closed up by now, just as hers had.
Jiang Yanli must sense her sadness, because she reached out and took her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
“Just talk to him about how you feel, and tell him you want to be close to him again.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to be close to him again. Jin Guangyao was cordial towards her, but the passion she’d felt earlier in their relationship when she was pursuing him, had vanished like steam into the air. He always seemed to be busy and preoccupied. When she thought about being intimate with him, she felt no excitement.
Qin Su gave a sigh. “I just wish I knew what I did wrong.”
“Listen to me,” Jiang Yanli said, and though her voice was gentle it was also firm, “You did nothing wrong. Sometimes, people just fall out of love, even if they are married to each other.”
She wondered whom Jiang Yanli was talking about. Not herself, surely. By all accounts, she and Jin Zixuan had a loving relationship.
“Qin Su, you’re a lovely person,” Jiang Yanli said softly. “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
“Ah, thank you for saying that, Yanli-Jie,” Qin Su smiled at her.
She laid back on her pillow and promptly drifted off to sleep.
When she woke, it was the middle of the night and she felt an itch on her shoulder, where her vine was. She rose and went to go light a candle, illuminating her body. To her surprise, the vines on her skin seemed to be positioned differently than they usually were, like they had shifted just a little. The tiny leaves had shrunk even further, disappearing into the vine.
Qin Su had no idea what to make of it.
She put out the candle and went back to bed.
***
Qin Su went into labor six weeks early, her pains starting up when she was taking an evening meal with her husband and in-laws.
She felt the pain in her back, in her spine, at her waist, more intense than she’d felt throughout her pregnancy.
She cried out, dropping the chopsticks she was holding.
“What’s wrong?” asked Jin Guangyao, pausing his conversation and turning his head towards her. “Is the baby coming?”
Qin Su nodded. “I...I think so.”
“Oh, let’s get the birthing hut ready,” one of Qin Su’s maidservants said.
Usually, the birthing hut would be constructed at the beginning of the month, according to the charts which indicated what direction was auspicious. But this little one was deciding to come into the world earlier than expected.
“There’s no need,” came Jiang Yanli’s soft yet confident voice, “She can use mine.”
Qin Su nodded. “Ah—yes, thank you!”
She was in too much pain to walk, so she had to be carried by servants. They transported her to Jiang Yanli’s former birthing hut, the one she’d stayed in while giving birth to Jin Ling.
The hut was outside the main complex at Jinlintai, far enough away that nothing would be heard or seen by the public.
Jiang Yanli paused in front of the hut. “Qin Su, would you like me to be present?”
Her sister-in-law had been there for her throughout her pregnancy, from the very first days where she tied up Qin Su’s hair as she vomited to the more recent times when she reminded Qin Su to take her angelica-and-mallow herbal concoctions that were supposed to make the labor easier.
She trusted her.
Qin Su nodded, in too much pain to speak.
Qin Su wanted this baby; she loved this baby before it had even come. But she was scared. Her own aunt had died, as well as one of the Qin household’s kitchen servants. Childbirth was a battle that could take any woman’s life, rich or poor. All the riches she enjoyed wouldn’t stop her from bleeding out if something went wrong.
Worse still, was the idea of losing the baby. If she lost this little one, not only would she feel an aching hole in her heart, but she would also be criticized for failing to provide another heir to the Jin sect.
She was surrounded by people now, a few medics having arrived on the scene, as well as onlookers who just wanted to see what was happening.
“Everyone, please leave,” Jiang Yanli said. She closed the door to the hut and then it was just herself and Qin Su’s trusted midwife in the room with her.
The next few hours were a blur of pain and struggling, kneeling on the straw-covered floor while her body prepared to bring this child into the world.
“You’re doing so good,” Jiang Yanli was saying to her, holding her by the waist and acting as a support while Qin Su’s midwife applied cold water on her sweating face.
Jiang Yanli stayed with her for a long time, guiding her and supporting her until finally, finally, the baby slid out.
The sound of his shrill cry, of her child exercising his healthy little lungs, was the most beautiful sound in the world.
Qin Su lay on her back, exhausted, as she held his small body to her naked chest.
“What are you calling him?” Jiang Yanli asked.
“Jin Rusong,” Qin Su’s voice was choked with joyous tears.
“A very good name,” Jiang Yanli said. Though she looked tired, the smile she gave Qin Su was radiant.
After Jiang Yanli left to go take a rest, Qin Su happened to glance at her own upper arm. Sometime in this night when her attention was focused on her birth, the tattoo had shifted again. The leaves of the plant had changed shape, becoming larger and flatter, and were now separated rather than attached to a vine.
Unable to figure out what this meant, Qin Su sighed and, curling her body around her little one’s, drifted off to sleep.
***
Qin Su and her baby visited Jiang Yanli in her private garden. She had a small lotus pond there, something she took care of year-round. She would plant seeds then harvest them months later.
A small touch of home, she had said to Qin Su when she asked.
Jiang Yanli’s eyes were out of focus. Qin Su had noticed this quite often. Sometimes she didn’t seem to be quite there, lost in a fog of emotion. Jiang Yanli was grieving. She had been for a long time. She had been through so much tragedy— the genocide of her parents and, then the murder of her husband by her own brother. Qin Su’s own grief at the death of her mother hardly compared.
“Yanli-jie!” she called.
Jiang Yanli looked up. Her eyes changed when she saw Qin Su and Jin Rusong, turning bright again.
The only time Jiang Yanli’s eyes lit up like that was when she was around her son, or her nephew, or Qin Su. That was one reason Qin Su liked to spend time with her, to be there for her and see her being happy rather than staring gloomily off into the distance when she thought no one was looking.
She looked at Jiang Yanli and felt a flutter inside her stomach that couldn’t be explained.
“Come to me, A-Song,” Jiang Yanli addressed the baby, and Qin Su immediately handed him over into her arms. Jiang Yanli held him close to her chest with a natural ease. She always seemed to be good with children and babies.
Jin Rusong made a happy gurgling noise, glancing around at his surroundings with curious, night-black eyes. Qin Su smiled and touched his hand with her own, let him clench instinctively around her finger.
“Ma..ma,” he said.
“Did you hear that?” Qin Su’s eyes widened. “He just called me ‘mama’.”
“Aww,” said Jiang Yanli, beaming.
“It’s his first word!” Qin Sue exclaimed.
“It feels like not long ago A-Ling was around that age. They grow up so quickly,” Jiang Yanli said wistfully, looking over at her own son, who was playing with the dog he’d been gifted by his uncle.
“Do they?” Qin Su said, gently poking the baby’s chubby cheek.
“Yes, you will see soon.”
Still carrying little A-Song in her arms, Jiang Yanli walked around the garden and introduced him to the plants.
Qin Su stared down at the lotus plant.
Last time she’d visited this pond, the plants had been mere seedlings. Now they were fully grown, with wide leaves floating on the water and flowers rising on the stalks.
Qin Su felt a sharp pain in her heart, like she’d been pierced by a needle.
It was the same plant tattooed on her skin.
***
“They say the Yiling Patriarch used to have a lotus flower on his neck,” whispered one of the ladies sitting in the nursery, keeping an eye on Jin Ling and the other children while she gossiped with her companions.
Qin Su, who was holding A-Song in her arms, paused in the doorway to listen to them.
“Really? You mean, he was in love with someone from the Jiang clan?”
“Yes, his shidi. But then...”
The other woman leaned forward. “...then what?”
“It changed. The flowers on his neck turned to white plum blossoms.”
“Plum blossoms?! But that’s the Lan Clan’s flower. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I saw it with my own two eyes, when he came here.”
“Aiyah, you must’ve seen wrong, your eyes are too old.”
Qin Su cleared her throat. “Excuse me.”
The woman who had been speaking turned to see her. “Oh, my apologies. This one did not see you there.”
“It's no matter,” Qin Su said.
She handed over the baby. Jin Rusong was old enough to hold his head up now and was looking around curiously. He seemed to be in a good mood, babbling happily as his mother passed him to the maid.
Qin Su left the nursery and went to walk back to her own quarters.
As she walked down the path, she spotted Jiang Yanli walking in the other direction.
“Yanli-jie!” called Qin Su. “Where are you going?”
Yanli smiled. “I was just about to go make some lotus-and-pork-rib soup.”
Qin Su fell into step beside her, walking along at the same pace. She talked to Jiang Yanli while they walked, and Jiang Yanli listened intently, nodding along to what she said.
When they got to the place where Jiang Yanli had set up a fire and a pot of boiling water above it, she turned to Qin Su and said, “Would you like to try?”
“Oh, yes.”
Qin Su rarely ever cooked; she’d always had servants to do it for her.
Jiang Yanli guided her through the process of making her soup— cutting the lotus and the pork, adding it into the pot along with several herbs and letting it stew. As she worked, Qin Su could tell from Jiang Yanli’s genuine and soft smile that felt some joy in this, in passing on a recipe that was important to her.
Qin Su listened to every instruction and tried to follow as closely as possible.
When the soup was done, the two of them each took a bowl and sat down across from each other at a low table.
Qin Su took a sip.
It wasn’t nearly as good as when Jiang Yanli made it herself, but it was edible.
“You’re a great cook,” Jiang Yanli said. She reached out and gave Qin Su’s shoulder a squeeze.
Qin Su felt something stir inside her, deep in her chest.
She loved Jiang Yanli. That was something she knew without a doubt. It wasn’t just the plant on her shoulder that told her this; it was confirmed by what she felt inside.
But even if Jiang Yanli had feelings for her in return, Qin Su was a married woman. She should not be letting her heart yearn for a person other than her husband.
“A-Su,” said Jiang Yanli, her brow furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”
Qin Su startled at the nickname. This was the first time Jiang Yanli had used it in that fond way.
She gave a smile she hoped didn’t seem fake. “I’m fine, Yanli-jie.”
***
Qin Su was brushing her wet hair, having just risen out of the bath, when she heard footsteps behind her.
She turned to see her husband standing there.
His eyes fell on her shoulder, where the lotus plant had grown with its wide, flat leaves, and teardrop-shaped green buds that had yet to bloom.
It was unmistakably not the same plant that had been there when they had first gotten married.
“Please believe me,” said Qin Su, a hint of desperation in her voice, “This wife would not be unfaithful to my husband.”
“A-Su,” said Jin Guangyao, “I believe you, you have been a loyal wife.”
Qin Su breathed a sigh of relief.
Jin Guangyao continued, “But...I understand that you may have desires.”
Qin Su frowned. “What does my husband mean?”
“I mean,” he said, his mouth curved into a knowing, dimpled smile, “I would not hold it against you, if you were to seek the comfort of another.” He turned his arm—which he normally kept covered under long, flared sleeves—so that she could glimpse the vine on the forearm.
There along the vine were snow-white plum blossoms. The symbol of the Lan clan.
All of a sudden, Jin Guangyao’s intense dedication to his sworn brother and his frequent visits to Gusu made sense.
“I see,” Qin Su stood up, drawing a towel over her shoulders.
She exited the bathing area, pushing aside a silken curtain, and retreated into the bedroom away from her husband.
***
It was a cool autumn night and Qin Su had seeked out Jiang Yanli’s company, once again. She no longer spent as much time with her husband. She was sitting in Jiang Yanli’s bed. Nearby, their sons slept. Jin Rusong was spending nights asleep now, giving Qin Su some relief from having to wake up in the middle of the night to his cries.
So now it was just her, and her sister-in-law, lying in one bed together.
“Yanli-jie,” said Qin Su, lying in bed beside Jiang Yanli. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
Her heart was beating loudly inside her chest.
Jiang Yanli turned her gaze towards Qin Su, rolling over to face her. “What is it?”
“I don’t—” Qin Su stopped short, wondering if she should refrain from confessing.
“--don’t what?” Jiang Yanli reached out to her, placing her hand under her chin and lifting it, making Qin Su look into her soft brown eyes. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I don’t see Yanli-jie as a sister,” Qin Su confessed, rushing through her words before she could change her mind. “I feel the same way about Yanli-jie, that I used to feel about my husband. I’m sorry, I know Yanli-jie doesn’t feel the same—”
“Shh,” said Jiang Yanli. Her hand was on her cheek now. “When did I say I don’t feel the same?”
Qin Su stared into Jiang Yanli’s eyes. “You mean...?”
“Yes, A-Su,” she stroked her face gently, “I love you.” She leaned forward to touch her lips against the other woman’s for a soft and chaste kiss.
It was Qin Su who deepened their kiss, pressing herself up against Jiang Yanli’s body, placing a hand on her back to draw her closer. They kissed for a while, slowly and sweetly, until Qin Su broke away to take a breath. Her hands were still around Jiang Yanli, holding her.
“A-Su, look,” Jiang Yanli said. She gestured to Qin Su’s shoulder, exposed by her loose undergarments. ‘
As she stared at the lotus plant on her shoulder, the tattoo began to move. The lotus buds began to open, exposing dozens of purple petals. They were vibrant and beautiful, spots of lovely purple scattered over Qin Su’s skin.
“Oh,” Qin Su’s arm clenched around Jiang Yanli as she admired the tattoo.
Jiang Yanli gently nudged Qin Su’s arm away, then turned around. “What about mine?” She lifted her shirt over her head, exposing her back and willowy torso. Her back was covered in the peony vines that Qin Su had glimpsed that day.
As Jiang Yanli had suspected, one of the flowers had bloomed.
This time, the peony blossom was not white but rosy pink.
“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” Qin Su told Jiang Yanli. She touched the flower at Jiang Yanli’s neck. At her touch, another one of the buds flowered, pink petals bursting forth. Qin Su traced the vine along Jiang Yanli’s back and as her fingers moved over the other woman’s skin, more buds began to blossom. She touched each flower in turn, skimming over Jiang Yanli’s spine down to the small of her back.
Jiang Yanli shivered at her touch. She turned back around, looking at Qin Su with a beaming face. She was naked from the waist up, her body pale and gorgeous and irresistible to look at.
“A-Su,” said Jiang Yanli, “Will you lie with me?”
“Yes,” Qin Su said, her face gone as pink as the flowers on Jiang Yanli’s back, “Yes, Yanli-jie, I will.”