1 - 20 of 35 Bookmarked Items in Just Enough Of A Bastard to be Worth Knowing Biblically
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A.J. Crowley, best selling author of action thrillers and sci-fi dramas, wants to try his hand at romance. When writer's block rears its ugly head, his editor and literary agent suggests a romantic writer's retreat in a last-ditch effort to meet his deadline. Aziraphale can be a miracle worker at times, but there's no way a reclusive month away will spark all the romance he needs to finish...
Editor AU: In which two of the least romantic men on earth try to write a romance novel.
- Language:
- English
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- 47,741
- Chapters:
- 5/5
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Strange Pilgrims: Being the Account of a lost Angel, the Journeys of a Demon, the meaning of Free Will, of the Unravelling of a Prophecy, and of Being Unravelled by it in Turn by sousverre
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
14 Jun 2023
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"Look, the whole of London's cracking up," she told him. "I'm finding it hard enough to work as it is without my commute being screwed up by the buses going on strike, and half my books turning into birds. That angel is wrecking everything, but in particular, my life - and you're too busy hating yourself to open your eyes and deal with it. I'm telling you, it has to stop."
"Is that all still happening?" Crowley said vaguely. "But I found him."
"Oh my God, you can tell you don't commute," Anathema said. "The buses went on strike, Mr. Crowley."
"That's perfectly normal for London. You'll learn."
"You're not listening! Not the drivers, the buses. They're organising - meeting in secret, holding little candlelight vigils. Nobody else really knows what's going on - everyone's just assuming it's, like, general TfL incompetence or something - but it's only a matter of time. So what are you going to do about it?"
"Er... have they submitted a list of their demands?" Crowley said helplessly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 126,826
- Chapters:
- 17/17
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- 1
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- 1,926
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- 2,120
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- 733
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Coming to the End of Your Rope (and Tying a Knot to Hang On) by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
14 Dec 2023
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Angel rounds the corner into his bedroom and draws up short.
There's a person in his bed.
More accurately, there's a person tied down to his bed: wrists and ankles lashed tight in two bow-wrapped bundles pinned to the metal frame so their body is stretched long like an exclamation point. Two lengths of soft-looking black rope shot through with a single strand of red have been wrapped around their upper torso and hips and tied in place with prominent bows as well. They're fitted with a rufter hood and gagged, and something gold glints at the front of the slender black ribbon tied around their neck.
"Oh," he breathes low, "you're finally here. My helpmate."
OR
Angel and Serpent arrange for an emotionally intense consensual non-consent role play encounter that ends up being more than either of them bargained for. The final part of the main story arc of the Garden of Delights series.
Series
- Part 8 of The Garden of Delights
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But You Are An Ocean by megzseattle
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
14 Oct 2024
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After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.
Series
- Part 1 of Ocean
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 77,091
- Chapters:
- 41/41
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- 2,885
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- 2,210
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- 562
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Covenant of Salt by thingswithwings
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
21 Sep 2023
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Aziraphale's hand slides down past Crowley's hip to fist his cock in time with his thrusts, and he bites again, and again, down to Crowley's naked shoulder, up to his earlobe, not meaning to be sexy, just biting like he's eating, tasting the salt on Crowley's skin, like he might consume Crowley entirely if given enough time.
"Talk to me," he gasps, between thrusts, between bites, his voice shaking.
"No," Crowley grits out, just before he comes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,143
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 208
- Kudos:
- 1,009
- Bookmarks:
- 306
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- 10,261
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The Changeling & The Horned One by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
31 Dec 2021
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When Crowley first set eyes upon the Horned One, she felt a peculiar mixture of elation and disappointment. Elation because the strange, sloping rock formation leaned against the mostly straight miniature cliffs was just as eerie and defensible as she'd hoped. Disappointed because it didn't look nearly as much like a giant as the titillated whispers from the proprietress of the inn had led her to expect. She supposed if you tilted your head and squinted, there was an impression of a person sitting tailor style up against the rockface, the crown of their head just breaching the top of the cliff. But it was so covered in drift piles of weed-choked dirt and pebbles that if there were any especially defining features, they were thoroughly obscured. Perhaps once upon a time, she thought, before wind and rain and time had blunted some especially eerie features.
OR
Crowley is just a half-fae gal looking for a roost. The local cursed rock formation looks like the perfect spot to settle in.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,369
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 330
- Bookmarks:
- 50
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- 1,315
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The Curve of Old Bones by Jenanigans1207
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
28 Oct 2021
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Aziraphale watches as Crowley’s smile grows, sharpens and turns distinctively dastardly. And even though Aziraphale knows what he’s in store for, he’s entirely unprepared for the words that slip out of Crowley’s mouth next. “Name’s Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale’s husband.”
Aziraphale is eternally grateful that he wasn’t taking a sip of his tea at that exact moment for he would’ve surely choked on it.
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When Crowley claims to be Aziraphale's husband to ruin what he assumes is a date, he doesn't think anything of it. But a day later it comes back to bite him in the ass when Crowley finds out that the date in question is, in fact, his new boss, who is looking to hire Aziraphale and hoping that Crowley, his husband, will put in a good word for them. Now Crowley is caught in a tight spot: either admit to his new boss that he was lying, or convince Aziraphale, his sort-of enemy, to pretend to be his husband to save face.
Series
- Part 1 of Denial is a Hell of a Drug
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 201,271
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,726
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- 2,292
- Bookmarks:
- 613
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- 72,474
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Twelve Days of Falling in Love by Jenanigans1207
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
17 Oct 2021
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Beelzebub hesitates for just a moment, just the length of one heartbeat pounding against Crowley’s ribs. “Twelve.”
“Twelve?” Aziraphale nearly jumps out of his seat at the sheer idea of it. “You want us to write twelve articles between now and Christmas?”
--
Or, what I'm affectionately referring to as "The Curve of Old Bones: Christmas Edition"
Series
- Part 2 of Denial is a Hell of a Drug
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,691
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 765
- Kudos:
- 608
- Bookmarks:
- 63
- Hits:
- 11,948
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Thrust Fall by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
11 Oct 2023
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Crowley blinked and frowned. "Wait, hold on, I'm starting to think we're talking about you having to pay someone to give you a good buggering without accusing you of being a complete pillow princess. But that couldn't possibly be right."
Aziraphale's eyes narrowed dangerously, like he thought Crowley was about to say something very stupid in reply when he asked, "And why is that?"
Crowley shrugged awkwardly, feeling a little caught out, because maybe it was a little stupid, if you weren't living full-time in their obsessed little brain. "Well," they stalled, but Aziraphale's expression was only getting more forbidding, and if they were going to be in trouble, they wanted it to be for something they actually said, not just something Aziraphale thought they were going to say, so they finished, lamely, "who wouldn't want to fuck you nice like that?"
OR
Aziraphale's usual masseur is out sick, and Crowley decides to tempt him into letting them be his knight in shining strap-on.
Series
- Part 7 of The Garden of Delights
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Doing It as the Romans Do by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Dec 2022
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"I'm Crowley," they managed and started to stick out their hand to shake before thinking better of it and twitching a limp-wristed wave instead. Did you shake hands at an orgy?
Oyster guy glanced at Crowley all over again, giving them just about the bitchiest, most blatant once-over they'd been subjected to outside the streets of SoHo. They resisted the urge to sneer but couldn't help reflexively slouching so far into one hip they threatened to tip sideways. They knew they looked good. Whatever judgment he reached, though, Crowley couldn't quite read. He simply arranged his expression into a polite smile.
"My name is Aziraphale," he replied and held out a hand to shake.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
OR
It's Crowley's first time attending a big group event at their new sex club, and they're kind of overwhelmed. Luckily, they're pointed in the direction of a more experienced member to show them the ropes.
Series
- Part 3 of The Garden of Delights
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,178
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 85
- Kudos:
- 781
- Bookmarks:
- 71
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- 10,428
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Any Hole's a Goal by ZehWulf
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
06 Aug 2022
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Oh, if only Aziraphale were the two-dimensional service dispenser many of his patrons mistake him for. But alas, he is a victim of the common human malaise that is having a rich, complex inner life. Most relevant to his current predicament, in addition to being generally kindhearted, intelligent, and inclined to being helpful, Aziraphale is also a bit of a bastard. And, sometimes, he just wants to go apeshit.
OR
A bit of a bastard visits his favorite sex club looking for a fun bit of consensual non-consent, and an anonymous serpent is a fan of kabeshiri.
Series
- Part 1 of The Garden of Delights
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,890
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 56
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- 944
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- 92
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- 11,811
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Aziraphale Fell had a plan. Go to school, get his degree, and start his life with his beloved at his side as man and wife. Until one day Crowley disappears. Decades later he meets a man, and finds the love of his life again.
Anthony J. Crowley, suave, cool, masculine, in control, unflappable, has spent decades building himself up. He refuses to let his confident facade disappear for Aziraphale, who once almost tumbled down the stairs to certain death because his nose was stuck in a book. It’s just sex, and they’ve been dating for months, this time around. There’s no need to get his knickers in a knot.
But the past isn’t easy to let go of, even if you’re both avoiding it. A story about love, intimacy, and finding each other again.
(Alternatively: Tender smut, but then I wrote love story flashbacks, and now it's just emotional and there's plot in my pornography)
Series
- Part 1 of Love's not Time's fool
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,552
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 242
- Kudos:
- 485
- Bookmarks:
- 108
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- 4,813
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An Awfully Small Adventure by TawnyOwl95 for FluffyChicken, NaroMoreau, snae_b, Nadzieja, lookitsstevie, MyHowTheyFly
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
21 Dec 2021
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Crowley gets caught trying to steal from the captain of The Sea Angel and has to barter for his freedom.
In the end satisfaction is had by all.
Series
- Part 10 of Fairy Tales and Fantasies
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,427
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 308
- Bookmarks:
- 27
- Hits:
- 2,400
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The Cottage, the Bake Sale by Dragonsquill (dragonsquill) for Chillmorte
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
21 Jul 2019
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“Okay so, wait. You’re Mr. Fell’s boyfriend, Mr. Crowley?”
“For somebody’s-yes but not at the moment. At the moment I’m Aziraphale’s whatever, Ms. Crowley.”
Crowley stopped and rubbed between her eyes, making sure they were closed in case she dislodged her glasses.
“Ohmigosh, Heather, it’s not that complicated. Get with the program!” piped a second, very authoritative if pre-adolescent voice.
Crowley sighed and looked for her angel. Aziraphale, the bastard, smiled divinely at her from the queue to pay, his arms filled with baked goodies.
Fine. Fine. This had been her idea. Let him abandon her to the inquisitive pre-teens.
Series
- Part 5 of The Cottage, the (Beings)
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Being an Account of Various Events that Occur After (and sometimes before) the Apocalypse by lucky_spike
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
02 Oct 2020
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As written by lucky_spike, kitchen witch and not a prophet at all.
A collection of short, non-chronological fanfictions which depict Aziraphale and Crowley, Adam and the Them, Anathema and Newt and other assorted chorus of characters stumbling through their lives after (and sometimes before) the Nah-pocalypse. Pretty much all humorous, pretty much all silly, pretty much all fun fluff. Including: Aziraphale and Crowley still being bad at relationships with each other! Anathema being the cool aunt! Adam is the only one with any sense! Random demons! Video games! Bebop! People making bets! Dungeons and Dragons babey! Ghosts! Ducks!
Series
- Part 1 of Armageddon and the Associated Entities
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,061
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Comments:
- 747
- Kudos:
- 1,075
- Bookmarks:
- 181
- Hits:
- 16,389
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You can’t blame Crowley for taking up Aziraphale’s offer. The first time since the dawn of creation that an angel offers to lead a demon into temptation, and he’s supposed to, what, say “nah?”
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at the airport terminal by bearwonder
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
07 Nov 2021
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Crowley has worked the same soulless job for two decades, and he hasn't had anyone to talk to since his pet snake died a couple years ago. When Industrial Holdings (Holdings) PLC sends him to their annual conference in the US, he expects a week of mind-numbing boredom bookended by two torturous half-days spent in airplanes.
But as fate would have it, an embarrassing mishap leads him to meet an unrelentingly positive flight attendant who smiles at him like he's a real human being, and makes him think that maybe, if he plays this right, he won’t have to die alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,788
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 157
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- 806
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- 132
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- 8,833
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The Father, the Son, and the Thirsty Host by ingafterdark (ingthing) for Fairyglass
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
24 Dec 2019
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Aziraphale invites Crowley for a proper afternoon tea. It doesn’t end up quite as proper as Crowley expects.
Created for the Oh Lord Heal This Server 2019 Gift Exchange.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,529
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 385
- Bookmarks:
- 62
- Hits:
- 3,541
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“M’not doing anything wrong, am I? Can’t a bloke kiss his fella in the park?”
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There were three things Crowley would remember about this movie. The deception-driven chaos, the blastedly delightful musical numbers, and the idle weight of Aziraphale’s hand on Crowley’s thigh, which grew ever-more insistent from about the half-hour mark.
Or: The night in the South Downs when a certain Angel debauched a certain Demon as Mamma Mia! played in the background.
Created, along with accompanying art, for the Ineffable Kinktober 2019 Gift Exchange.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,593
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 54
- Kudos:
- 925
- Bookmarks:
- 150
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- 13,341
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