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Wei Wuxian watches Lan Wangji push the tip of the pen between his parted lips. He sucks on it gently and pushes it slowly in and out as he's thinking. Wei Ying is transfixed by the sight. Lan Wangji's lips are perfectly shaped and images of what better use he could put them to enter Wei Wuxian's mind without his permission. His heart rate rises as he imagines how soft they would feel if...
"Wei Ying?"
"Huh?"
"Anything else?"
Wei Ying blinks at him, having a hard time coming back from the world of fantasy and facing reality.
Lan Wangji taps the tip of the pen against the shopping list lying between them. It's glistening with wetness. Wei Ying has to shake himself.
"Aren't we running out of dish soap?"
A small crease appears between Lan Wangji's eyebrows. "We already talked about that. I will pick it up in the zero-waste shop, I'm only going to buy groceries now."
"Oh, sure! Yeah... sorry, I forgot. I don't think we need anything else." He adds a bright smile to smooth out the frown still on Lan Wangji's face.
It works. Lan Wangji grabs the list and gets up. Wei Ying lets out a relieved sigh.
So he has a pathetic crush on his roommate. It's nothing he can't live with. It's not even his fault. Everybody would feel the same if their roommate was stupidly hot and constantly drawing attention to his lips.
Wei Wuxian’s careful long-term observation has revealed that he tends to put things in his mouth when he's deep in thought, worried or stressed. The problem is that he's always deep in thought, worried or stressed. Wei Wuxian witnesses him suck on his thumb whenever his brother is calling. All the pens he uses for grading papers have teeth marks on them and he has emergency lollipops in his desk drawer since Wei Ying had stomach flu and Lan Zhan worried himself sick.
Lan Wangji has an oral fixation and Wei Wuxian has to suffer.
"Why don't you just tell him?" A-Li once asked after he spent half an hour moaning about his unrequited feelings.
He laughed at her. "And embarrass myself? No thanks. I might be stupid but I'm not that stupid. Lan Zhan could never date someone like me. No. I'm gonna watch him put things into his mouth until he finds someone worth his love."
Fortunately, that seems unlikely to happen anytime soon. Lan Wangji is extremely introverted and when he's not at work, he's with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is selfishly happy to have him for himself.
Thanks to that, he's the only one there to comfort Lan Wangji when he comes home in the middle of a panic attack.
The front door being slammed shut with a loud noise tells Wei Wuxian that something is off because Lan Wangji never makes unnecessary noise. Wei Wuxian jumps up from the couch, not even pausing his video game, and runs to the hallway where Lan Wangji is standing frozen to the spot.
"Lan Zhan?" When he steps closer he notices the tremors running through Lan Wangji's body as if he has a fever.
Upon hearing his name, Lan Wangji looks up, his eyes wild, unfocused.
"What's going on?" Wei Ying asks, keeping his voice soft despite his growing concern.
"I... can't —" Lan Wangji breathes out. Suddenly, he starts moving. He barges into the living room and starts picking up random stuff and putting it in other places as if trying to materialize the chaos in his head.
"Lan Zhan. Are you hurt?"
"No." He doesn't stop.
"Did something happen at work?"
Lan Wangji drops a glass. It shatters and pieces of glass fly all over the floor.
Lan Wangji makes a strangled noise and drops to his knees. His hands are shaking so hard Wei Wuxian is sure he's going to cut himself if he tries to pick up the shards.
He's by his side in an instance.
"Lan Zhan!" he calls loudly enough to cut through whatever is going on in Lan Wangji's head.
Lan Wangji looks up at him. He looks small, vulnerable. Wei Wuxian hates it. He's boiling with the need to help him.
He can only think of one thing he knows that always comforts Lan Wangji.
He reaches out and gently presses the pad of his thumb to Lan Wngji's lower lip.
Lan Wangji draws in a sharp breath through his nose. Wei Ying expects to be pushed away. Instead, Lan Wangji's eyes fall shut and his shoulders relax as he sucks Wei Wuxian's thumb into his mouth.
Wei Wuxian holds very still. Now is not the time to give in to his wicked fantasies. He's helping his friend calm down, nothing else.
They stay like that for a long moment. Once Lan Wangji's breathing evens out and all tension draws out of his muscles, Wei Wuxian tries to pull his finger out. Lan Wangji doesn't resist, he just licks his lips and looks at Wei Wuxian.
The image of him kneeling in front of him, lips wet and parted, eyes huge and dark, will cause Wei Wuxian many sleepless nights.
He fends off the urge to run to his room and masturbate until exhaustion.
"Are you alright?" he asks, voice still soft as if talking to a scared animal.
Lan Wangji nods. His features slowly harden into his usual composed expression. "I am now. Thank you."
"No problem."
Now that he’s able to think clearly and use his brain to solve problems again, he realizes he could have grabbed a lollipop. It would have provided the same service. He tells himself he did his best in the moment, that it had nothing to do with his secret desire to touch Lan Wangji. He feels a bit ashamed anyway.
Pushing the mess in his head away, he focuses on Lan Wangji who is now looking much better.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Mn."
"Should I make tea first?" Tea is another thing that helps Lan Wangji calm down and that Wei Wuxian mysteriously forgot existed.
"Mn."
Once they sit on the couch sipping Lan Wangji's favorite tea, Lan Wangji draws in a deep breath to steel himself.
"I got offered the post of the head of the department."
Wei Ying almost chokes on his tea. "What? Lan Zhan! That's amazing! You deserve that!"
Lan Wangji doesn't seem happy about the promotion.
"It would change a lot of things." The last big change in his life has been moving in with Wei Wuxian and he had a hard time adjusting to that. Which might or might not have had something to do with Wei Wuxian being a messy asshole. Things changed, though. They are friends now and Wei Wuxian is ready to fully support him.
"I know, but you can do it. If you want the job you shouldn't be afraid, I will be there to help you."
Their eyes meet. Wei Wuxian's chest feels so tight it's hard to breathe.
"Thank you." It sounds so genuine that it warms Wei Wuxian more than any tea ever could.
They spend a long time writing down all the pros and cons. Lan Wangji was given a week to decide. He waits until the last day.
Wei Ying is already home when Lan Wangji returns from work. He brought takeout from Lan Wangji's favorite vegan restaurant and has some jasmine tea at the ready.
There's no slamming of the door. Lan Wangji walks into the living room slowly and gently puts his bag down on a chest of drawers.
Wei Wuxian promised himself to give him space but he feels like he's going to explode any moment.
"Did you say yes?" he blurts out so loud he makes himself flinch.
Lan Wangji nods. He's paler than usual.
"Are you alright?"
Lan Wangji shakes his head. He has yet to meet Wei Wuxian's eyes.
"Come here," Wei Wuxian says softly.
Lan Wangji finally looks him in the face, he considers something before he moves slowly resembling a big cat.
What Wei Wuxian had in mind was Lan Wangji sitting next to him and drinking the tea he prepared, but what he gets is Lan Wangji gracefully dropping to his knees right in front of him.
Wei Ying holds his breath.
Golden eyes fix on him, plush lips open slightly. Wei Wuxian doesn't need words to understand. Without hesitation, he puts his thumb into Lan Wangji's mouth.
Lan Wangji lets out a long breath which tickles Wei Wuxian's skin. Sucking hard so the thumb doesn't slip off his lips, Lan Wangji leans his head on Wei Wuxian's thigh and closes his eyes.
Wei Wuxian feels himself relax. Lan Wangji is warm and soft and no matter how crazy it is, the whole situation just feels right.
Wei Wuxian uses his other hand to pat Lan Wangji's hair, receiving a purring sound as a reward. Their calm breaths sync and the whole world around them stops existing.
Then Lan Wangji's tongue starts to caress the pad of his thumb and Wei Wuxian gasps. Lan Wangji moves his head. For a moment it seems like he's going to pull off but then he takes Wei Wuxian right back in. In and out, in and out, slowly but rhythmically.
If Lan Wangji opened his eyes right now he would see the bulge in Wei Wuxian's pants growing more and more prominent. His manners tell Wei Wuxian he should push Lan Wangji away and talk his way out of this awkwardness but there's not enough blood left in his brain. He's reigned by desire. He lets Lan Wangji suck his thumb, cheek brushing his inner thigh. His face is so close to his erection it's torturous.
Lan Wangji looks at him through long lashes and Wei Wuxian realizes with a twisting feeling in his stomach that the bastard knows exactly what he's doing to him.
Eyes fixed on Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan puts a hot palm on his other thigh and slowly moves it towards his crotch.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying pleads and moans when Lan Wangji rubs him through his pants. It's not enough. "Please! Lan Zhan!"
Mercifully, Lan Wangji pulls his mouth off Wei Ying’s hand only to press it against his bulge.
It's like one of Wei Wuxan's fantasies, only better. In his mind Wei Wuxian never explored the sensation of Lan Zhan's silky hair flowing between his fingers, he never imagined the sweet pain of expectation as Lan Wangji pulls down the zipper of his pants.
There's a bit of fumbling. Wei Wuxian swears under his breath, trembling with impatience. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, seems to be very calm as he helps Wei Wuxian out of his pants and then leans close to breathe at Wei Wuxian's sensitive skin.
Another plea dies in Wei Wuxian's throat when Lan Wangji takes him in his mouth. He can finally, finally, see what those perfect lips look like wrapped around his cock and the sight is almost enough to make him come.
He has to bite his lips and dig his fingers into the cushions to make himself last at least a bit longer, to enjoy one more perfect moment of pleasure.
He loses it when Lan Wangji reaches down and whips out his cock.
While Wei Wuxian comes down his throat, Lan Wangji keeps his mouth on him, sucking him to the verge of oversensitivity, and jerks himself until he reaches climax too, spilling all over his hand.
Lan Wangji pulls off with an obscene wet sound. His lips are swollen and glistening with a mixture of come and saliva. Without thinking, Wei Wuxian wipes it off with his thumb. Lan Wangji lets out a content sigh.
“Are you alright?” Wei Wuxian asks because that’s what matters the most.
Lan Wangji nods, eyes hooded as if he’s about to fall asleep.
“Very well. You?”
“I’m great,” Wei Ying says with a little bit too much force.
Lan Wangji gets up and walks to the bathroom. Once alone, Wei Ying lets out a shuddering breath. He puts his pants back on and tries to wrap his head around what the hell just happened.
Lan Wangji emerges a few minutes later, changed from his work clothes but immaculate as ever. He sits next to Wei Wuxian, thanks him for the tea, and turns on some documentary.
Lan Wangji seems perfectly content with going on with their lives, but Wei Wuxian’s blood rushes south every time he looks at his lips. Or the couch. Or his own thumb. Excessive masturbation only partly relieves his distress.
He avoids Lan Wangji as much as one can avoid their roommate, but it breaks his heart. He wants things to go back to how they were before. But he also wants Lan Wangji to suck his cock again, or let Wei Ying return the favor, or many many other things that he lists while he lies in his bed late at night.
He’s sleep-deprived, constantly horny, and cranky. Lan Wangji doesn’t seem to notice something is off. He brings Wei Ying snacks and asks about his day and doesn’t say anything when Wei Ying makes some lame excuse and locks himself in his room.
It lasts for two weeks, up until Wei Ying snaps because of the stupidest little reason.
“Wei Wuxian!” Lan Wangji says as he grabs his wrist. Wei Ying looks at him and all the anger caused by the empty bottle of chili oil drains out of him.
“Lan Zhan,” he breathes out and tries to wiggle out of his grasp but Lan Wangji’s long fingers only tighten. His gaze, though, softens a little.
“Wei Ying, tell me what’s wrong.”
So maybe he’s less oblivious than Wei Wuxian thought.
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong. I just really wanted to eat some chili oil,” he says with an awkward little laugh.
Lan Zhan tugs at his hand to make Wei Ying look him in the eyes.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he says in the deep no-bullshit tone of his that never fails to bring heat to Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. He’s about to deny it but his words die on his tongue when Lan Wangji continues.
“Is it about the blowjob?”
With a gasp, Wei Ying wrenches himself free and steps back. He’s not going to have this conversation while Lan Wangji is touching him. He doesn’t want to have this conversation at all, but Lan Wangji looks like he might pounce at him if he tries to run.
There’s no other option than to swallow the bitter pill and finally face the problem.
Wei Wuxian pulls himself taller and lifts his chin meeting Lan Wangji’s eyes.
“Of course it’s because of the fucking blowjob.” It comes out harsher than he intended. Lan Wangji tightens his jaw and visibly steels himself in defense. Wei Ying draws in a deep breath and forces himself for a softer tone.
“I can’t think about anything else ever since,” he admits. It gets too hard to keep Lan Wangji’s gaze so he looks out of the window instead.
“I just don’t understand what it meant. If it even meant anything. Judging by your determination to act like it didn’t happen I suppose it didn’t.”
“Wei Ying-” Lan Wangji moves as if he wants to step closer, but Wei Wuxian stops him by lifting his hand.
“It’s okay if it didn’t, but you need to tell me, otherwise…” he closes his eyes, “otherwise I will keep guessing… I’ll keep hoping that it did. That maybe you are attracted to me or-” The rest of the sentence gets stuck in his throat. Even talking about the possibility of Lan Wangji having feelings for him feels like a confession he’s not ready to make.
“I want you to fuck me.”
Wei Wuxian’s eyes snap open. “What?”
“That’s what it meant. I’m attracted to you, Wei Ying. I want to have sex with you.”
Wei Wuxian feels as if the world has been turned upside down and all cohesive thoughts have fallen out through his ears. The only thing stuck in his head is I want you to fuck me. He holds on to it, afraid that it will slip out too, that he’ll blink and realize this is one of his daydreams.
He steps closer to Lan Wangji but stops himself before he looks even more like an excited puppy.
“Your room or mine?” he blurts out.
Lan Wangji blinks, surprised, making Wei Wuxian want to shove the words back into his mouth.
“Oh, Wait! You probably didn’t mean now. I’m sorry, I-”
Lan Wangji’s lips twitch.
“We can do it now. I prefer my room.”
Wei Wuxian is probably having a heart attack, but he doesn’t mind. If he’s going to die now, he’s going to die happy.
The problem is that his blood is already rushing south and his brain is not cooperating so he’s just standing there in the middle of their kitchen, not moving. When he dreamed about their first time, he imagined himself a little more suave.
Fortunately, Lan Wangji stays level-headed. He offers Wei Ying a hand. It’s soft and warm when he takes it.
They walk into Lan Wangji’s impeccably clean room. Wei Wuxian realizes what a good choice it was, his bed is probably covered with dirty clothes which would absolutely kill the mood. Not that the mood is very good to start with.
The blowjob happened in the heat of a moment. Now when it’s premeditated, it’s a bit awkward, almost scary. What if Wei Ying does something wrong? What if they don’t like it? Can bad sex ruin a friendship like theirs?
Wei Ying tears his eyes off the white bed which looks too pristine to be soiled by something like sex. His eyes meet Lan Wangji’s. He must be just as nervous as Wei Ying judging by the way he bites his lips.
Wei Ying has no idea how to calm his own nerves, but he knows what works for Lan Wangji.
He steps close and delights in the fact that Lan Zhan doesn’t flinch even when he enters his personal space.
Wei Ying reaches up and brushes his thumb against Lan Wangji’s lower lip.
Lan Wangji lets his eyes fall shut with a long exhale and his whole body relaxes.
Everything’s suddenly as natural as the last time.
Wei Ying pushes his thumb deeper into the wet heat of Lan Wangji’s mouth and Lan Wangji obediently sucks on it.
Wei Ying puts his arm around Lan Wangji’s trim waist and Lan Wangji’s arms come to rest on his shoulders as if they were dancing.
After a long quiet moment, Lan Wangji pulls off with a sound that’s obscene in the silence.
He puts his beautiful lips to Wei Wuxian’s ear instead, nibbling on the lobe.
Wei Ying draws in a sharp breath as a shiver runs down his spine.
“Is this alright?” Lan Zhan asks, voice low and soft like silk. Wei Ying wants to wrap himself in it.
“Yes, yes, it’s good.”
With a hum, Lan Wangji continues, encouraged by Wei Wuxian’s words.
Wei Wuxian wants to do something that feels good too, but he’s not sure what Lan Wangji might like when his lips are already occupied.
He opts for putting his other hand to Lan Zhan’s waist too and pushes them both under his t-shirt. Lan Wangji makes another pleased sound that would be hardly audible if he wasn’t right next to Wei Wuxian’s ear.
The moment he touches the hot smooth skin, Wei Ying knows he’s lost. He’s never going to be able to stop touching him. He examines the shape of muscles, the dip between them, the knobs of Lan Wangji’s spine. He doesn’t mind the shirt that he’s pushing farther and farther up until Lan Wangji stops nibbling on his ear and raises his arms. Wei Wuxian takes the hint and pulls the shirt over his head. When he takes a look at the bare chest in front of him, the shirt slips off his numb fingers.
“Oh fuck,” he sighs and pounces at Lan Wangji.
Things get frantic after that as they are trying to get rid of their clothes while touching and kissing as much skin as possible. Wei Ying loses track of whose hands are where but it doesn’t matter because in the end, they are both naked and on the bed.
Wei Ying pauses to look at Lan Wangji lying under him, breathtaking and wide-eyed.
“Lan Zhan, when you said you wanted me to fuck you, did you mean…”
“Yes.” He wraps his hand around Wei Wuxian’s hard cock for emphasis and strokes it slowly.
Wei Ying moans, dropping his forehead on Lan Wangji’s chest.
He wanted this for so long that now that he has it, he’s afraid he’s going to blow up too fast.
He gathers himself, lifts his hand, and pushes two fingers into Lan Wangji’s mouth. He doesn’t rub his lips before or wait for another way of consent. He just goes for it, sure that Lan Wangji will take him in without protest. As expected, Lan Wangji closes his lips around the fingers and sucks on them, his tongue doing its best to make Wei Wuxian go insane. He resists the temptation to get lost in a fantasy that Lan Zhan is sucking his cock. He doesn’t have to do that anymore. He’s going to fuck Lan Zhan. The thought makes him simultaneously excited and scared out of his mind.
Lan Zhan makes a disgruntled sound at the loss of Wei Wuxian’s fingers. It’s endearing. Wei Wuxian would laugh if his chest wasn’t so tight.
Lan Wangji doesn’t need to be prompted to lift his knees and give Wei Wuxian access to his hole.
Wei Ying keeps his eyes fixed on Lan Zhan’s face as he rubs his spit-slicked fingers against the puckered skin so he doesn’t miss Lan Wangji’s gasp when he pushes just the slightest bit in.
“Lan Zhan?”
“Kiss me.”
Kissing Lan Wangji is everything Wei Wuxian dreamed of and much more. He was right to think Lan Wangji’s lips were the perfect shape for kissing. They are plump and soft and the things Lan Wangji does with his tongue are wicked.
Wei Wuxian gets lost in the sensation. The only thing he’s capable of beyond kissing is grinding against Lan Wangji like a horny teenager. Lan Wangji doesn’t seem to mind. He wraps himself around Wei Wuxian - legs around his hips, hands in his hair - like he’s never letting go. Wei Wuxian doesn’t want him to let go.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji moans against his lips, tugging ever so slightly at his hair. Wei Ying sighs, surprised by what the action is doing to him and storing it to examine later. He puts some space between their faces.
“Wei Ying, please, please…” He’s getting the wild look in his eyes again, the one telling Wei Wuxian that he’s losing control.
“Yes, yes, sh.” He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Lan Wangji’s lips, making him relax a bit but at the same time, he feels Lan Wangji’s fingers digging into the skin on his back.
“Lube? Condoms?” Wei Ying asks. He’s out of breath.
Lan Wangji turns to the side as much as Wei Ying’s body on top of him allows and opens a drawer.
Wei Wuxian never thought of his roommate having a sex drawer. He’s glad he didn’t find out before or he would have exploded.
He has enough decency not to dig through it and just grab what he needs but he notices some sex toys and oh god is that lace?
“Wei Ying.” The disgruntled tone startles a laugh out of him.
“Since when are you this impatient?”
That earns him a pout that’s even more endearing. Laughing, Wei Wuxian gets some lube in his hand, warming it up between his palms. The pout lasts while Wei Ying strokes Lan Wangji’s cock but disappears when he starts fingering him slowly. Lan Wangji’s lips part then and his face transforms into an expression of delighted awe. It doesn’t seem to be enough for Lan Wangji, though.
Wei Wuxian’s heart soars at seeing him this greedy, this impatient for Wei Wuxian to have him.
The mischievous part of him wants to tease, to draw things out. The part that has been dying to touch Lan Wangji for weeks wins though.
The first moment after he enters Lan Wangji’s body, he feels like he’s going to lose his mind. Sex is supposed to feel good. Wei Wuxian thought he had some pretty damn good sex in his life. This is different. Different from anything Wei Wuxian has experienced before. It’s beyond the scale of good or bad.
They hold each other's gaze as Wei Ying pushes in and what he sees in Lan Wangji’s eyes makes his heart ache. Lan Wangji, the best man he’s ever met, is giving himself to him. It’s more than he deserves, but it’s all he wants and he’s going to take it. He’s going to take it so well Lan Wangji will never want anybody else.
He buries his face in the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck partly to hide from the searing gaze and partly to kiss the soft skin there and moves his hips in a languid rhythm at first. The position lets him hear the little gasps Lan Wangji makes.
He turns his head so he can catch his lips as he drives in deeper. The kiss is sloppy, more moaning into each other’s mouth than anything else. But when Wei Wuxian pulls away pushing himself up on his knees and grabbing Lan Zhan’s hips so he can fuck him harder, Lan Wangji makes a desperate sound as if losing contact with Wei Wuxian’s lips causes him physical pain. On instinct, Wei Wuxian reaches one hand to push two fingers into his mouth so he can suck on them. Satisfied, Lan Wangji sucks on them eagerly, one hand on his own cock stroking himself in sync with Wei Wuxian’s thrusts. It’s a breathtaking sight - Lan Wangji bare and flushed, his hair spilled around him like a dark halo, eyes closed in bliss, lips around Wei Wuxian’s fingers.
Wei Wuxian’s body is burning with pleasure as he slides in and out of the tight heat of Lan Wangji’s body, but it’s nothing against the flame in his heart. He has no control over the words that spill out of his mouth because they come straight from his heart that is overflowing with emotion.
“Fuck, Lan Zhan! I love you!”
Lan Wangji’s eyes snap open and his lips release Wei Ying’s fingers as he comes with a surprisingly loud moan. His body clenches around Wei Wuxian and drags him over the edge with him.
Wei Wuxian’s vision whites out, the whole world is nothing but searing pleasure for a moment that feels too long and too short at the same time.
When he slowly comes back to his senses, ears ringing and heart pounding so hard it might break his breast bone, he realizes Lan Wangji is sucking on his fingers again and he hears the muffled whimpering as Wei Wuxian’s hips are still moving in shallow thrusts.
He leans down and kisses Lan Zhan deeply.
"Are you okay?" he asks in a whisper after he pulls out and gets rid of the condom.
"Mn," Lan Zhan nods and reaches for some tissues to clean the mess on his belly.
Watching him being his usual composed self again makes what happened just a few moments ago feel unreal. A cold claw of anxiety tightens around Wei Wuxian's chest when he realizes what he said in the throes of passion. He fights the urge to run to his room and hide there, it would be an asshole move. Still, he's not sure he's able to face the awkwardness that's inevitably coming.
"Wei Ying?"
"Huh?" He startles as if afraid Lan Wangji could read his thoughts. He doesn't meet his eyes.
"Do you want to take a shower?"
"Yes, yes, great idea," Wei Wuxian blurts out and gets up, happy to take the opportunity to get out of this.
Long fingers close around his wrist. He's so surprised that he forgets he's not supposed to look Lan Wangji in the face.
He's met with a mighty Lan frown.
"Wei Ying, are you alright?"
"Yeah, of course," he says with a giggle that makes it sound even more forced.
Lan Wangji doesn't let go of his hand but he lowers his gaze to his lap. "Did you... did you not enjoy it?"
"What?" Wei Ying barks. Lan Wangji's eyes flick to him before they hide behind thick lashes. There's a soft blush coloring his pale cheeks. He understood Wei Wuxian's awkwardness all wrong. Wei Wuxian messed up again.
He sighs and sits down, shaking his wrist a little to get Lan Wangji's attention.
"Of course I enjoyed it! Lan Zhan, I was dreaming about this for... for a long time and it was even better than in my dreams."
The blush deepens, but Lan Wangji’s lips relax and the crease between his brows disappears. He chances another shy look at Wei Wuxian.
"What you said, did you mean it?"
"I..." He should deny it. Even though Lan Wangji admitted he's attracted to him and had sex with him, there's no way he's ready for that scale of feelings. The confession simply came too fast.
"I..." He can't deny it. It would be the biggest lie he's ever told. He can't lie to Lan Wangji.
In the moment of stuttering hesitation, Lan Wangji wrenches his wrist free.
"Oh, it's okay. I understand. It was in the heat of the moment." His voice is even, cold, in the way Wei Wuxian knows hides hurt.
"No! I mean, yes, it was in the heat of the moment but it doesn't mean I didn't mean it! I just wasn't supposed to spill it like that. I know it's too much and I get if it scares you, I don't expect you to feel the same, we just started to-" He's silenced by Lan Wangji cupping his face and kissing him roughly.
"Wei Ying," he says after they part with a little gasp. "Wei Ying, you are beautiful, kind, and smart."
Wei Wuxian wants to push him away, to yell at him to stop, but some treacherous part of his mind, maybe the part of his heart that is tired of running away from feelings, makes him lean into the touch and let the praise warm him to his core.
"You put up with my quirks, you know how to comfort me. I couldn't wish for a better man to love me."
Wei Wuxian closes his eyes because they start burning and he's afraid he's going to embarrass himself further.
"Please stop," he begs. "Don't say anything else, I can't take it."
"Mn." Lan Wangji kisses his forehead instead and it's better than a thousand words.
"Let's take a shower," he says softly into Wei Wuxian's ear.