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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He misplaced his angel. He didn’t hold on hard enough. He got Cas back only to lose him immediately.

    -

    Cas comes back on a Thursday.

    And then keeps coming back on Thursdays. He doesn’t seem to have much choice in the matter, actually. For the rest of the week, he’s stuck in the Empty, and Dean is left trying to figure out how to save him, how to talk to him—and how to get him out for good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,547
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    800
    Kudos:
    966
    Bookmarks:
    270
    Hits:
    15,543
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Set somewhere after 15.19.
    Sam and Dean have run themselves nearly into the ground trying to find a way to bring Cas back, but it still comes as a shock when Castiel, Angel of the Lord appears in the bunker, disheveled and despondent.
    Of course the first thing our beloveds do is miscommunicate, and things are hella awkward from there on in.
    Since their priorities have changed, Sam thinks that a case is just the thing they need to get over... whatever this weirdness is.
    Along the way Dean starts to question if things are really what they seem and Sam just questions which of these two women will kill him first.
    Oh, and Cas and Rowena become emotionally attached to an invisible monster.

    or, the one where Dean can't let himself have good things.

     

    see end chapter notes for expansion the suicide potential trigger tag. Also, I have a penchant for posting chapters before they're really ready. So there's every chance they will get an edit a day or so later after posting. sorry. it's a character flaw.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,315
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    4,958
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Then it’s just him and Jack. Him and the kid.

    And the entire near future branches out before him, a sad unflattering replica of Sylvia Plath’s fig tree. Where the possible futures don’t stretch into years and lifetimes, but grow into short stalks of accidental maiming. Where the kid gets sick because Dean doesn’t know how to feed him, gets bruised because Dean doesn't know how to hold him, cries because Dean isn’t his mother or his father or a sub-family he can count on.

    _______________

    Or: Cas dies, Jack is a newborn baby, Sam is going through something, and Dean doesn’t know what to do. Until he does.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,102
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    341
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    2,120
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In the three years since Chuck was defeated, life has gotten better for Dean Winchester in so many ways. He opened his own business fixing vintage cars, bought a nice house by a lake, he adopted the world's best dog. Sam and his family live right next door. He's come to terms with things about himself he previously kept hidden. But there's a gaping hole in his life. This is how it gets filled.

    (I'm bad at summaries)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,766
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    4,263
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Dean's fine.

    Then he gets a piece of metal stuck through his ribs. But he doesn’t die, even though he’s pretty sure he should’ve.

    He’s still— fine. No matter what Sam thinks.

    (And Cas is still gone.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,785
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    278
    Kudos:
    442
    Bookmarks:
    123
    Hits:
    10,934
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Three weeks after the Empty takes Castiel, Dean starts to dream.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,478
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    334
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    5,304
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Six months.

    Six months on the day, and Dean couldn't do it anymore.

    He hadn't told anyone. Not even Sam.

    Dean wished it didn't have to be this way, wished he didn't have to do this.

    He wished this would be enough. His family surrounding him, peaceful and happy. He wished they were enough.

    Forgive me.

    With a last deep breath, Dean straightened, blinked the tears from his eyes.

    And went. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,345
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    512
    Bookmarks:
    149
    Hits:
    16,080
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dean could still hear it, even now that they had been back for a few weeks. He could see the horror on Cas' face, the panic. He could hear the pain in his voice, recalled how it had twisted and turned in the depths of his eyes and contorted his features. He could still feel his own body go numb with hurt and shame, only to come alive with pain and dread once Cas told him about it.

    He hadn't been able to say it. He'd finally been ready to say it. But he didn't. Couldn't.

    Cas had begged him. Had begged him not to.

    "Dean. Please, if you're about to say what I think you are- please. Please, you can't-"

    Dean had waited so long to be able to say it, had fought and denied and swallowed those words, those feelings so many times. Now that he was ready to let them go, they weighed heavily on his heart, demanding to be set free and fly. Kept inside, they seemed to settle in his chest, pulling him down.

    "Don't", Cas had begged, something inside Dean shattering, coldness spreading, closing around his heart like a fist. "Please, don't."

    ~oOo~
    Or the one where Cas tells Dean about the Empty-Deal after his Purgatory Prayer and everything hurts until it doesn't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,054
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    368
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    5,223
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Just one more prayer. That was all he was going to send, he can’t stay hung up on this forever. Cas was gone and there was seemingly nothing he could do about it. He tried though, oh boy, did he and Sam try. They spent weeks, months digging through all the lore looking for a way to bust Cas out of that place. But Dean is tired, tired of the restlessness buzzing under the surface of his skin, it’s time for him to slow down. It’s time to say goodbye to the one he loved.

    Or

    The one where Cas hears Dean’s final prayer and has to decide whether to turn and go, or whether to stay.

    Inspired by: Restless Man - Radio Company

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,317
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    221
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1,386
  10. Tags
    Summary

    I've come to talk with you again...

    Cas is back. He's out of the Empty, right? So things ... they're good. At least, they should be.

    But of course nothing with -and for- them is ever that easy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,988
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,749
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Be straight with me. Did you also think I was in love with Cas?”

    Eileen doesn’t startle, or refute him, and that’s answer enough. She shrugs. “It was hard to tell with you two.”

    “I know you’re just humoring me,” he sighs, watching the coffee pot fill with dark ambrosia and standing to collect his spoils.

    “Okay,” she relents, turning so she can still read his lips since his sign language sucks ass. “I thought you were both super, super gay.”

    Dean chokes on his coffee. Eileen smirks.

    ***

    A fix-it fic where Dean tries to honor Cas's memory by dealing with his issues, and then Cas comes back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,234
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    602
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    4,358
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The Empty waves an idle hand in the air. “I’ll give you a test of sorts. I’ll wake up Castiel for you. More Castiels than you know what to do with. At the end, you have to tell me which one is real.”

    Dean’s mouth falls open in horror. “But you can read his mind and look like him –”

    “That’s why this is a test,” the Empty says, its voice clipped, “and not a charitable giveaway.”

    Dean bites back a growl of frustration. It’s not like he can thoroughly search a whole-ass dimension for Cas, and none of his weapons work on the Empty. “Fine,” he says. “Open Door Number One, Monty Hall.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,470
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    1,874
    Bookmarks:
    290
    Hits:
    9,113
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel is resurrected from The Empty. While Dean is recovering from casting the spell that brought him back, Cas checks his voicemail.

    Turns out, they both just might be able to say what it is they want.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,405
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    208
    Kudos:
    1,219
    Bookmarks:
    384
    Hits:
    13,999
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "I don't get you," Dean spits. "I don't get what you want. Just — just tell me. I'm a big boy, I can take it."

    "I did tell you!" Castiel exclaims. "I told you, and then I died!"

     

    (In which Castiel is rescued from the Empty, Jack gives up the powers of God to be a kid again, and Dean overcompensates.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,411
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    367
    Kudos:
    3,323
    Bookmarks:
    964
    Hits:
    28,791
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A year after his death, Castiel returns to the Winchesters. But much has changed for Sam and Dean.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,138
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2,225
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dean wandered, after. The night that Chuck died, subsumed into Amara, he had silently climbed into his car in the dead of night, walking past Jack's room, past Sam's room.

    In his room, Sam laid in his bed with Eileen, and felt the air displace itself around where Dean slipped past in the hallway, instincts attuning him to movement just as they made Dean move soundlessly, without a thought to it. but Dean didn’t think of that. Dean only thought of moving, getting out, going -

    Going to something the bunker couldn’t be, anymore. Something he couldn’t ever go to.

    But he had to go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,172
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    929
    Bookmarks:
    228
    Hits:
    5,379
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dean is aimless, finding no way to get Cas back from the Empty.

    One day, Claire shows up and drags him on a hunt, and over time Dean begins to find purpose again in traveling with Claire, helping Jody around the house, camping with Sam, and eventually starting to open up about the things he's never been able to say aloud.

    In the winter, Dean takes a job for Jody’s friends, fixing up their old inn and looking after it for the season.

    Time moves forward, but Cas is always on Dean’s mind. He’s going to get him back, and he’s going to say what he needs to say.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,069
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    513
    Bookmarks:
    172
    Hits:
    6,500
  18. Mystery Work

    Part of Old Fics :[
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dean doesn’t know what to do. Dean wants to say stay with me, stay with me and never leave. Dean wants to apologize. Dean wants to set his mouth at the hollow of Cas’s throat as gently as he’s ever done anything, feel the beat of Cas’s heart beneath his lips. Dean is so lonely, and he’s missed him so much.

    *

    A year and a half after Cas is saved from the Empty, Dean is living out his days alone on a piece of farmland in rural Kansas. One day, Cas shows up on his porch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,340
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    767
    Kudos:
    2,197
    Bookmarks:
    703
    Hits:
    43,859
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Cas is gone, and Dean is doing his best to move on. On the one hand, Miracle is a pain in his ass and won't let him drink himself stupid, so that's a plus. On the other hand, if he didn't know better, he'd swear that the bunker is haunted. Since apparently he's not allowed to exist in an alcoholic coma, he guesses he'll work the case.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,313
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    149
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    105
    Hits:
    5,539

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