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Tim sighed at the box of chocolates sitting innocently on his desk.
He knew who they were from.
The ninjas currently lurking in the limited shadows of his office knew who they were from.
Tam knew who they were from.
What they didn't know was why Tim was receiving these gifts. Especially when half of them were poisoned. And not even the kind of poison that would kill Tim.
Tam thinks it's a twisted intimidation tactic, the ninjas think that Ra's is trying to woo Tim into being his heir, Pru thinks that Ra's just wants to get in Tim's pants, and Tim-
Well, Tim's pretty sure it's some convoluted combination of the above.
Either that or none at all. Trust Ra's to be contrary.
Tim glared at the box. It was wrapped in an emerald silk ribbon, which contrasted annoyingly well with the black box and its elegant silver script merely saying For Timothy.
There was a neatly folded slip of paper resting beside the chocolates. Tim glared at that too. He had half a mind to throw it all in the trash without so much as sparing them another glance, but, he recalled what happened the last time he threw out a gift from Ra's.
Kidnapping, lace shorts, a minor explosion and an honest-to-God mead barrel.
Oh, and ninjas, so many ninjas.
A good portion of the ones involved had yet to leave Gotham since. A portion of that portion were currently the ones hogging the shadows in Tim's office, leaving him to sit at the desk fully in view to anyone who walked by because of the stupid window in the middle of his door.
Tim sighed again.
He looked at the shadows. "Why is he like this?"
One of the shadows sighed back.
Tim flopped onto his chair and pulled the box closer.
It had been a while since he'd been given chocolates.
-
Dick shifted nervously under the piercing stare of Tamara Fox. He was a good foot taller than her but like Lucius, she had the uncanny ability to make him feel like a beetle about to get stepped on.
Dick had come to surprise Tim at the office. His baby brother had been avoiding him since he brought Bruce back to them and Dick got it, really. Things got bad when Bruce disappeared. They messed up, Dick especially.
But he wanted his little brother back and he wasn't going to let Tim go without a fight.
He just had to get past Tam first.
"Mr. Drake is very busy at the moment." Her voice was glacial, cutting. Yet her face was pleasantly neutral.
It was horrifying.
Dick glanced through the window -he must hate that- on Tim's office door. His brother was spinning on his office chair while fiddling with a Rubix cube. He slowly looked back, leveling a flat stare at Tam who tilted her chin up, unrepentant.
Tam began typing without breaking eye contact with him. "I could book you in for next month when Mr. Drake is less swamped." The clacking of her keyboard punctuated each word.
Dick inhaled slowly. "I just want to drop off a coffee for him." He smiled at her, the kind he used as Nightwing when it was more like baring his teeth.
Tam didn't bat an eye. "Leave it at the desk and I'll bring it to him." She said.
"Oh for the love of- Tim!" Dick called, looking back through the window.
Tim jumped, dropping his Rubix cube.
Tam glared at Dick, huffing when Tim motioned for Dick to come in.
Dick very graciously did not throw a smirk Tam's way as he walked into the office.
"Hey, Timmy, busy day?" He asked loudly before closing the door behind him.
So maybe he wasn't that gracious.
"I'm in-between meetings. Is that coffee?" Tim was already out of his chair and snatching the cup out of Dick's hands. Like a little gremlin.
"Who's to say it's yours?" Dick asked.
Tim narrowed his eyes and Dick raised his hands in surrender.
He looked around the office, it was darker than Bruce's, despite having a similar layout. There was something eerie about the space, like there were eyes on him.
Dick quickly distracted himself by scanning Tim's desk, ignoring his brother's little huff as he did. It had an abundance of papers and tech, a Rubix cube, three mugs of coffee, a picture of the old Young Justice team- Dick would need to add one of their family- and a fancy looking box of chocolates.
"You got an admirer?" Dick gestured to the box.
Tim hid a grimace behind his coffee cup. "I suppose."
Dick straightened up. "Need me to handle it?" He asked lightly. So lightly, Tim probably wouldn't notice the slight bloodlust in his tone.
Tim glared. "I can handle my own business."
"You don't always have to." Dick said softly.
Tim scoffed, pushing the lid off the box and plucking a heart-shaped chocolate out.
Dick sighed and went to take one too when Tim slapped his hand away.
Okay, Dick knew things weren't great with them. But he didn't think they were hand slapping bad.
Tim rolled his eyes at what must have been a pretty sad expression on Dick's face. "You'll get sick."
"I can handle one chocolate." Dick said slowly. Though it was nice that Tim was feeling protective?
"They're laced with poison." Tim said, taking a sip of his coffee.
Dick jolted up from where he had been leaning against the desk. "What? We need to take these to the Cave-" Dick stopped.
His eyes trailed over the box of chocolates.
He looked back at Tim.
"Timmy, babybird, precious pie, tiny tot." Dick leaned forward. "Why are half of the poisoned chocolates gone?"
Tim blinked. "I ate them."
Dick's heart dropped. He could feel the blood rush away from his face even as he lurched over to Tim, grabbing him by the forearms, prepared to catch him when he inevitably collapsed.
"Don't worry about it, I'm immune. Mostly." Tim shrugged.
Shrugged. Like this was something normal.
Dick breathed in slowly. "Did you have poison training when I wasn't looking?" Tim didn't say anything. "Answer me."
"Well considering you weren't looking for a year, it wasn't that hard." Tim's voice was eerily polite. "You know, after you took Robin without talking to me first?"
"Don't forget he had you cut off from the hero community!" Tam called in.
Dick winced. He didn't mean for it to happen like that.
Tim snapped his fingers. "That too."
"And he hasn't apologized either." A voice hissed from the shadows.
Dick screeched. Grabbing a stapler and launching it at the shadows. The shadows threw it back.
"Men are trash." The voice continued. Which, rude. Especially considering she's devoted her life to serving the arguablely trashiest man of them all, if Dick's guess on who her boss is was anything to go by.
"Yes, thank you, Zaria." Tim said, unruffled by the clusterfuck currently going down in his office.
"Master sends his regards." Zaria hissed. Dick went rigid. He did not like the picture this was painting.
Tim nodded. "Acknowledged."
"I don't know where to start." Dick said. "Why are ninjas in your office? They are ninjas, right?"
"We prefer the term assassin." Another voice piped up.
Dick's forehead creased. "Why would you want that?"
Tim sighed. "Just respect their choice, Dick."
"Precisely, Richard." Zaria hissed. Why is she always hissing? The other assassin didn't hiss. Is Zaria okay?
Dick shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Why is Ra's trying to kill you?"
Tim blinked. "He's not?" He said slowly. As if Dick was the idiot for thinking the Fucking Demon's Head sending his baby brother poison may be a threat of some sort. Tim gave Dick a sheepish smile. "At least not this time."
Dick froze. "How many times have there been?"
Tim stopped to think. "Uh." He started muttering to himself while counting on his fingers. He looked towards the shadows. "Zaria?"
"Fifty-two and counting." She said helpfully.
Dick was pretty sure he wasn't breathing.
"Hey, hey, they were mostly playful murder attempts." Tim tried to soothe him.
"I shouldn't have left you alone." Dick murmured.
"I think I'm doing okay."
Of course he does. Dick held back a growl.
"Okay? You think this is okay?"
"It's better than whatever Jason's doing."
"Jason-" Dick cut himself off. What was Jason doing these days? "Jason isn't being threatened by a six-hundred-year-old megalomaniac!"
"Six hundred and thirty-seven."
"We think he wants Drake as his heir." Zaria hissed.
"I think it's a threat!" Tam called in. Would you look at that, Dick likes Tam now.
Tim decided to add his two cents. "Pru thinks- never mind." His eyes darted away as he fiddled with the ribbon on the chocolate box.
Dick narrowed his eyes. "Pru? Who's Pru? What does Pru think?"
"I've got work, meetings, talk later?" Tim nodded at him and started heading towards the door.
Dick got Tim into his octopus hold, looping his limbs around Tim and forcing his head to rest Dick's chest. It was one of the few holds Tim couldn't slip out of. Usually Dick used it to force Tim to stay still long enough to sleep, though it had been a while since he'd done that.
It works for this too.
"What does Pru think?" He asked, keeping his voice level.
"Should I call security?" Tam asked, opening the door. She froze as she took in their, frankly, ridiculous position. "Oh." Her hand went in her pocket and she lifted out a taser. "I can use this on him?" She offered hopefully.
Hopefully. Like some sort of sicko. Dick clutched Tim tighter, he's not sure he likes Tim's new friends.
"No." Tim said. Dick sighed in relief.
"But I really want to." Tam shook the taser eagerly. Tim slowly shook his head.
"You can get him on the way out." He said.
"Tim!" Dick squeezed him tighter in retaliation.
"I'll be at my desk." Tam smiled sweetly. The kind of sweet that rots your teeth, makes you gain ten stone and have a heart attack at twenty-nine.
"You've changed." Dick murmured into Tim's hair. It was soft and smelled like coffee, because of course it did.
"You're being very dramatic. Like Jason."
"You and Jason hang out?"
Tim hummed. "He gets me stuff from space so that I don't set him on fire again."
"Again?" Tim hummed in reply. Dick decided to look into it himself later.
"What does Pru think?" He asked.
"That Master wants to make Drake his consort." Zaria hissed. "Likely because of the lace underwear incident."
Tim tensed in his arms.
"Thank you Zaria." Dick said faintly. His arms wound around Tim, drawing him in closer and squeezing -
Tim gasped. "You're holding me a little tight, could you-"
"No." Dick hissed. Oh God, he's becoming one of them.
Tim sighed and finally leaned back against Dick.
-
So Dick was going to kill Ra's. He was going to kill him dead.
"No killing." Bruce grunted.
"Don't tell me how to live my life."
"We will handle Ra's."
"That crusty old pervert is sending chocolates to my babybird." Dick snarled. "We don't even know how long this has been going on, we don't even know where Tim is."
"You're holding him, he's sleeping on your shoulder."
Dick glared. "If you're just going to stand around being unhelpful, you can go."
Bruce raised his eyebrows. "I'd say carrying you both out of the office since you wouldn't let Tim go was helpful. Wouldn't you?"
"No."
"Speaking of which, you should let him go."
"No."
"You can't keep putting people into octopus holds whenever you're concerned." Bruce chided.
Dick bared his teeth. "Do not talk to me about healthy habits. You're an overly violent furry who's converted his kids into other overly violent furries." Dick's voice was steadily getting more shrill as he gained steam. "Now one of them is being seduced by a man who unironically calls himself the Demon's Head, you ruined my tiny tots life, you pointy eared-"
"Dick?" Tim murmured against his shoulder.
"Shh, precious pie, go back to sleep." Dick murmured, running a hand through Tim's hair.
Tim hummed and snuggled deeper into his arms.
When Dick looked back up, Bruce was gone.
No matter, that just means he can kill Ra's Al Ghul. That's what Bruce gets for being a coward.
Tim grumbled and nuzzled Dick's neck before snoring softly.
Dick held him tighter. He could kill Ra's anytime, hugging his baby brother was more important.