Our Flag Means Alternate Universes
A collection of the best Our Flag Means Death Alternate Universe stories. This is my contribution to the fandom, taking my professional librarian skills combined with my obsessive love of AUs and curating what is essentially a ‘best of’ collection.
Any ship, any rating. AUs in this case means entirely new worlds, not future episodes or seasons. Rewrites are allowed if they are bringing something entirely new, not just as fix-its. Otherwise the door is wide open. Lets do something weird.
(Closed, Moderated)
Recent works
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Summary
Ed and Stede meet as strangers one night on a New York subway platform when Stede discovers an abandoned newborn baby. Both men are instantly infatuated with him (and each other). When they attend the court hearing for his case, the judge spontaneously decides to offer Stede custody, which he accepts– only to realize afterwards that she assumed they were a couple.
The two men immediately craft a plan to pretend to be together in order to keep the baby, creating fake backstories, coaching their friends, and moving in together... into the same bedroom... and the same bed. But what they didn't anticipate was falling head over heels in love, not only with their son, but with each other.
Inspired by the TRUE STORY outlined in this article
Features: a very fast slow burn, fake dating, only one bed, pining while fucking, and other tropes
Series
- Part 1 of Baby Baby Baby
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Professor Edward Teach has been fascinated by pirates since the time he was a child thanks to sharing his name with one of the most famous pirates in the world. He's specialized in them from their history in the distant past to the current iterations of piracy in the modern world. He's finally settled down in an illustrious university to teach his passion when one evening a new name pops up on the class roster.
Stede Bonnet.
It isn't the first time a vampire has been in his class, but it's the first time one of them has pretended to be a famous pirate from the Golden Age. The new student vampire seems to be insistent that Ed's got his facts muddled and is eager to correct him time and time again.
And worse, the man is damnably attractive, well spoken and interesting as fuck, even if he is carrying delusions about being the former Gentleman Pirate.
Series
- Part 3 of Our Flag Means Supernatural
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Edward Teach has been a bartender at Queen Anne’s for three years before he catches the eye of one Stede Bonnet – a man so wealthy he’s run out creative ways to spend his own money. In exchange for sex and companionship, he offers to pay for everything Ed’s ever wanted. It’s a deal so incredible it almost seems too good to be true, and all Ed has to do is not fall in love.
Easy.
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The true history:
The Pacific Clipper was a Pan American Airlines scheduled commercial flight from San Francisco, California, to Auckland, New Zealand that operated from 1939 to 1941. All tickets were first class and cost around $15,000 in 2024 US dollars; passengers ate five course meals prepared by chefs from four star restaurants. From December 1941 to January 1942, the Pacific Clipper completed an unplanned nearly around-the-world flight: the first commercial circumnavigation of the globe. Oh, also, there is an actual historical guy referred to as ‘the Swede’ who was the First Engineer on the crew.The Our Flag Means Death version:
Our crew:
Captain Stede Bonnet
First Officer Frenchie
Second Officer/Navigator Buttons
Third Officer Wee John Feeney
Fourth Officer Archie
First Engineer The Swede
Second Engineer Pete
First Radio Officer Edward Teach
Second Radio Officer Jim Jimenez
Radio Operator Oluwande Boodhari
Purser Roach
Asst Purser Lucius Spriggs -
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Cute. Blond. Dimpled smile. Built like a fucking truck.
Just Ed’s type, in other words.
The elevator started to rise. “I’ll push your button for you,” the man said.
Ed glanced at the board. “You already have.” He winced, because that sounded like a really bad pick-up line. “Uh – I mean, the 6 has already been pushed, and that’s my floor.”
“Well, that’s handy.” The man looked him over, and Ed wished with all his heart that he looked a little less like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. “You’re carrying quite a lot. Can I help at all?”.
So apparently he was nice in addition to being a smokeshow. Even his voice was doing things for Ed. This day was looking up.
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Ed has just met his new neighbour, and he's everything a guy could wish for. Handsome. Charming. Kind.
But what if everything isn't quite as wholesome and happily-ever-after as it seems?
This is for the 25th day of OFMD AU-Gust 2024. Prompts were "Crime, Runner, Air Traffic Controller".
Recent bookmarks
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Ed, strapping and successful lawyer, needs the sweet surrender of letting go every once in a while. His life was wrought with work and no play, which made Ed a very hollow man to be around.
Along came Stede - junior sex worker at Jackie's - a bar Ed hadn't been to in years. One night, fate pulled him through those doors and into Stede's lap. And in Stede's lap, Ed was able to surrender. And that would be that - a simple business transaction. Stede provides a service and Ed is a paying customer. End of story, roll credits, everyone goes home.
But love is never that easy, is it?
- Words:
- 100,125
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 127
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So there Ed is, in this enormous room all decked out in ivory and gold, surrounded by one-percenters and inherited wealth and fucking caviar. And he sits under a canopy of twinkling crystals, and he plays his mood music, and the room slowly fills.
And the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen.
Ed’s starting to feel more and more like a member of the string quartet playing out the sinking of the fucking Titanic.
(Or: Ed's the harpist at a swanky wedding that's gone south. Stede's got his own problems. A one-night fastburn meet-cute: fluff, humour, eventual smut, and a truly obscene description of caviar)
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DAY 12: Feminization || Voyeurism || "Look at the mess you made."
Ed's got a third date with a guy he likes at a fancy restaurant, and it's finally a chance for him to wear the special occasion dress he's had in his closet for ages.
There's just one problem: the damn zipper is stuck. Maybe his next door neighbour can help him out.
Series
- Part 3 of bonnypitty Kinktober 2024
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There are only two other videos on Jeff’s channel, and both have Stede’s heart galloping in his chest.
The first video Jeff ever uploaded is titled A Cosy Evening With Your Boyfriend [SFW Male Voice ASMR], and the moment Stede’s brain registers the words, he’s struck with an incomprehensible urge to look away, as though he’s looking at something unbelievably scandalous.
The other video, Jeff’s most recent upload, is considerably shorter than the other two and has a title that almost has Stede choking on his own tongue.
Leather Bad Boy Takes You Home [NSFW Male Voice ASMR [M4A][PREVIEW]]
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I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) by oatmilktruther
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Sep 2024
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It’s Stede’s fault.
Ed only called him babe, and it was once, and besides which, Frenchie calls people babe all the time and he’s literally aro, so it doesn’t have to mean anything.
But then Stede leans over and says, with a wink “Sweetheart, I’m going to hit the bar, would you like anything?”
Sweetheart.
It's definitely Stede's fault.