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but when i close my eyes i think about you every time

Summary:

“That wasn’t what it looked like!” Kim Dokja blurts without thinking, and then immediately regrets it.

The company members— specifically the women— turn to him sharply, pouncing on the statement like sharks that smell blood in the water. “Oh? It wasn’t?” Han Sooyoung snickers sinisterly, “I don’t know what the others saw, but to me it looked like you and Yoo Jonghyuk were furiously making out to the point where you completely forgot we existed?”

“Are you sure they didn’t also telepathically confess their undying love for one another while they were at it?” Jung Heewon adds on.

Notes:

hi! this is my first fic for this fandom so go easy on me. i had so much fun writing this, so i hope you guys enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

「 He would look good on his knees. 」

 

The thought is abrupt and unbidden, and Kim Dokja nearly falls over onto his ass from shock when he sees it.

 

Fortunately, he’s able to retain just enough muscle control that he merely stumbles briefly. Yoo Jonghyuk sends him a balefully unimpressed look, but Kim Dokja doesn’t have the will nor brain capacity to deal with that right now.

 

He’s more concerned about the… questionable line of text that had just come floating at him from Yoo Jonghyuk’s direction.

 

[Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint] has been on an odd rampage lately, activating seemingly on its own whims and somehow always managing to find the exact right moment to reveal his companions’ most troubling inner-thoughts. The nature of the skill, in that he can only see thoughts which are about himself, only makes it all the more awkward. Kim Dokja shudders as he remembers Han Sooyoung’s twisted fantasies about slapping him repeatedly in the face.

 

Of course, that pales in comparison to what he just heard from Yoo Jonghyuk. Kim Dokja stops and crouches down with the pretense of tying his shoelaces in order to hide his bewildered facial expression, ignoring Yoo Jonghyuk’s impatient glare. No, how can he even take this guy seriously anymore after becoming privy to such things?

 

[Exclusive skill ‘Fourth Wall’ is absorbing your mental shock!]

 

Kim Dokja’s head cools down. Okay, wait. He can think about this logically.

 

In fact, now that he’s really pondering it, Yoo Jonghyuk’s errant thought could have many different, more innocuous meanings. For instance, it could mean that Yoo Jonghyuk wants to bring Kim Dokja to his knees through battle. He probably revels in the fact that his combat prowess exceeds Kim Dokja’s— such matters are all Yoo Jonghyuk seems to place importance on anyways. Right, Kim Dokja decides as he loops his laces around his fingers. That makes infinitely more sense.

 

Why had his mind immediately gone to the gutter, anyway? It must be all the porn he read during high school. The more Kim Dokja thinks about it, the more he becomes convinced that there is nothing sexual in nature about Yoo Jonghyuk’s thought. Come on, this is Yoo Jonghyuk they're talking about. There’s no way a painfully straight-laced bastard like that is having those types of thoughts in broad daylight—

 

「 I could just tip his face up right now and slide my cock between his lips. 」

 

Kim Dokja’s hands jerk violently, and his shoelaces explode into a million and one small fiber fragments. He watches as they float serenely to the ground, dazed.

 

“…what the hell are you doing?” Yoo Jonghyuk’s gruff voice comes from above, and Kim Dokja abruptly snaps out of it.

 

He stands up, and carefully doesn’t look at Yoo Jonghyuk. “Aw, man, I just bought these shoes a couple scenarios ago,” he says loudly, shaking his head stiffly as if he’s disappointed. “Guess they’re too low quality.”

 

[The constellation ‘Mass Production Maker’ is pouting.]

 

Kim Dokja ignores the indirect message and resumes walking. He can feel Yoo Jonghyuk’s vaguely annoyed and mystified gaze on his back, and his neck grows warm. After a second, Yoo Jonghyuk continues walking behind him silently. He’s clearly noticed Kim Dokja’s odd behavior, but thankfully doesn’t say anything. For once, Kim Dokja appreciates the fact that Yoo Jonghyuk is a ‘keep everything bottled up inside until he explodes’ kind of bastard.

 

So. That just happened. Kim Dokja taps his fingers against the side of his thigh nervously. He glances upward again, just to make sure that he hadn’t misread earlier. The words, although fading at the edges, are still there, legible, and very much unchanged. 

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is wondering what you are looking at.]

 

Kim Dokja’s face flushes even hotter, and he quickly rips his gaze away. He doesn’t know how he should be feeling right now. Relieved that he isn’t actually hallucinating? Horrified at being thought about in such a manner? Curious? Angry? Confused? Or, perhaps, hopef—

 

He slaps himself on the cheek.

 

The stinging pain is insignificant, but sudden enough that it effectively stops his mind from wandering down a weird path. Of course, the method has its drawbacks as well, and everybody in his vicinity stops what they’re doing to look at him like they think he’s mentally ill. Han Sooyoung in particular perks up, looking intrigued.

 

“Do you need someone to slap the other side t—”

 

“No, thank you,” Kim Dokja cuts her off. He rotates his shoulders, as if to physically shake off his embarrassment.

 

[Exclusive skill ‘Fourth Wall’ is growing thicker.]

 

Kim Dokja has come to the wise, magnanimous decision to simply pretend that he knows nothing. It’s for the best, really, and minimizes the awkwardness on both sides. Right, he never saw anything, and he never will. Yoo Jonghyuk doesn’t want to fuck him, and he never will. Kim Dokja repeats this ridiculous mantra in his head somewhat manically.  

 

Besides, he still has his doubts about the validity of what he just saw. [Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint] hasn’t led him astray thus far, but no system is 100-percent flawless. Maybe there had been some error in translation, or analysis, or—

 

「 It’ s calle d  ‘Om niscient’ for  a  re ason, idi ot Ki m Dok j a 」

 

A glint of hysteria enters Kim Dokja’s eyes at the Fourth Wall’s disgruntled words, but the smile plastered on his face doesn’t waver. He claps his hands together with the renewed vigor of a man ardently pretending his problems don’t exist. “Alright, everybody,” he says, voice unnaturally bright and upbeat. “The upcoming scenario is going to be difficult, but as long as we work together and believe in the brilliant power of friendship, we can get through anything!”

 

The sight of [Kim Dokja’s Company] gathered together in front of him is both a familiar and dependable one. He sweeps his eyes over each of his companions’ faces (except for Yoo Jonghyuk, naturally), who are all looking back at him. He feels just as refreshed and energized as back when the possibility of the man he spent his teenage years half in love with having sexual fantasies about him was zero. Well, it’s still zero, Kim Dokja reminds himself. A bead of sweat rolls slowly down his temple. Anyways, back to the matter at hand…

 

“Ahjussi, why are you talking like that?” Lee Jihye tilts her head at him.

 

Lee Gilyoung looks at him, concerned. “Hyung, are you okay?”

 

Kim Dokja’s smile freezes on his face.

 

Han Sooyoung flips her hair over her shoulder. “Che,” she scoffs condescendingly, “do you think you’re the protagonist of ‘SSSSS-Grade Infinite Regressor’ or something? Arrogant bastard.”

 

[The constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is rolling his eyes at your corny speech.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is wiping her tears at your touching comradery.]

 

[A constellation who likes comradeship is pleased.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is bored and wishes for a battle.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is grooming his beautiful, luscious hair.]

 

[1,000 coins have been sponsored!]

 

Kim Dokja blinks at the stream of indirect messages. In the background, the others begin chiming in to make fun of him as well, but he instinctively turns to seek out one particular person’s reaction.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk has already looked away from the group, sitting down nearby and pulling out his trademark Black Demon Sword with a disinterested expression. A small line of text is floating above his head, which makes him look like an angsty Pokémon.

 

「 What an idiot. 」

 

Now that’s more like it. The content of the message is scornful, and therefore incredibly Yoo Jonghyuk-esque. But as if it can’t help but reveal the subject’s intuitive, subconscious feelings, the text itself is tinged with warmth at the edges, a hazy outline in muted red-orange color.

 

Kim Dokja stares at it for long enough that he feels the warmth reach out to him, and seep slowly into his skin. He only looks away, honey-like heat swimming in his veins, when Yoo Jonghyuk levels a fearsome glare in his direction. Even as he turns his attention elsewhere, though, the corners of his lips stay upturned in a small smile.

 

                                                                                                     

 

*

 

 

 

Things get better before they get rapidly worse.

 

Kim Dokja is endlessly (and mistakenly) relieved when more than a month passes, and he has yet to hear any more of Yoo Jonghyuk’s dubious bouts of daydreaming. Although, that may be mostly due to the way Kim Dokja has resorted to running away with his tail between his legs whenever [Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint] so much as shows signs of activating near Yoo Jonghyuk. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. And Kim Dokja is feeling very blissful indeed.

 

…Never mind the fact that he has hardly spent any time with Yoo Jonghyuk outside of a scenario lately. It leaves a part of him feeling strangely empty and bereft, a space that he both wants and doesn’t want to fill. The company has clearly noticed Kim Dokja’s avoidance of Yoo Jonghyuk as well, but none of them say anything, probably figuring that it is something that will be resolved with time.

 

「 Wha t are yo u  so afra id of? 」

 

The pointed question makes Kim Dokja shift uncomfortably. “Shut up,” he mutters at the Fourth Wall, and turns his face hurriedly to the side when Yoo Jonghyuk looks up vigilantly at the noise.

 

Unfortunately, all tentatively good things must come to an end.

 

The illusion is unceremoniously shattered a short while later in the middle of a scenario. As they’ve entered the upper-digits and the difficulty level has risen accordingly, they are usually too busy trying to stay alive (or in Kim Dokja’s case… not) during scenarios to be worrying about interpersonal relationships.

 

However, today’s scenario is different.

 

[A new sub-scenario has been commissioned by ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’.]

[Sub-Scenario – Company Outing]

Category: Hidden

Difficulty: ???

Clear Conditions: Have a fun company outing with the members of [Kim Dokja’s Company].

Time Limit: 24 Hours

Compensation: The treasures of love and friendship

Failure: ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ will be incredibly sad

 

The company stares at the screen in front of them blankly. Kim Dokja opens his mouth, but he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe he should have seen this coming— of course Uriel would do something like this. There is perhaps no existence in the universe that cares more about his relationship with Yoo Jonghyuk. Their one-sided ‘cold war’ would naturally be cause for concern from her.

 

Han Sooyoung is the one to break the silence. “Are you kidding me?” She asks loudly, and turns to Jung Heewon. “Hey, why is your sponsor acting like a meddlesome neighborhood ahjumma?” 

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is puffing her cheeks indignantly.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ says she merely wishes for the company to be happy.]

 

“The company?” Han Sooyoung snorts derisively. “I think we all know who this scenario is really for.”

 

As if on cue, Kim Dokja feels all of their gazes fall on him and Yoo Jonghyuk. He clears his throat awkwardly, and decides to speak up. God knows that this guy standing behind him would just continue brooding silently forever. “I don’t know if this is necessary,” Kim Dokja says, trying his best to sound apologetic rather than nervous. “I appreciate the good will, Uriel. But [Kim Dokja’s Company] is totally fine. And we’ve got quite a few scenarios to do preparations for.”

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is frowning.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ wishes for ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ to mend their relationship.]

 

Ah. She really just called them out like that.

 

The rest of the company look thoughtful, and Kim Dokja shifts nervously. Thankfully, Han Sooyoung begins speaking abrasively again. “Hey, there isn’t even a proper reward for this thing! Just what the hell is ‘the treasures of love and friendship’? Can I eat that?” She puts her hands on her hips, “are all archangels from ‘Eden’ such cheapskates?”

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ says she is willing to give as many coins as ‘Metatron’ will let her.]

 

“And how many is that?”

 

[…]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ will give 2,000 coins.]

 

Han Sooyoung looks at the sky, unimpressed. “That’s pathetic,” she says.

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is embarrassed.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is laughing at ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ will kindly donate 5,000 coins to the pitiful ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’.]

 

Han Sooyoung taps her foot. “7,000 coins? Is that all Kim Dokja and Yoo Jonghyuk’s beautiful companionship is worth to you guys?”

 

Kim Dokja opens his mouth, feeling like he should stop this before Han Sooyoung really gets going, but the indirect messages have already begun pouring in.

 

[A constellation who likes comradeship has donated 5,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘Bald General of Justice’ has donated 1,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘Goryeo’s First Sword’ has donated 3,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ has donated 10,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden is congratulating himself on his own generosity.]

 

[The constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ has donated two historical-grade Fables.]

 

[A constellation who likes to change gender has donated 2,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘God of Wine and Ecstasy’ has donated 3,000 coins and 10 barrels of wine.]

 

[The constellation ‘Mass Production Maker’ has donated 10% of the royalties for the Ferraghini XI.]

 

…just how fucking bored are these constellations?

 

[Senior-level Dokkaebi ‘Bihyung’ has donated 5,000 coins.]

 

Kim Dokja lifts his head to look at Bihyung, feeling inexplicably betrayed. “Is that even allowed?” He asks incredulously. “Also, why?”

 

Bihyung has the decency to look somewhat sheepish. “[Kim Dokja’s Company] is the most popular channel in the Korean Peninsula, I have to help keep the viewers happy,” he explains. He adds unnecessarily, “and I also want to see you and that guy make up.”

 

Han Sooyoung is peering at the indirect messages filling the screen shrewdly, while the rest of the companions look increasingly impressed as more and more donations flood in. Kim Dokja can feel the situation rapidly slipping out of his control. “Wait, guys,” he says, “think about this! We only have 23 days left until—”

 

“It won’t kill you to take a break every once in a while, you know,” Jung Heewon interrupts him leisurely. She looks back at the scenario screen, amused. “Besides, do you really want to be the one responsible for making Uriel ‘incredibly sad’?”

                                                                                                                                   

Kim Dokja stares at her speechlessly, who stares back nonchalantly. His shoulders slump in defeat after a moment. As if sensing his dangerously wavering resolve, the kids immediately come swarming in. “Ah, hyung!” Lee Gilyoung starts shouting and runs up to him, “can we have a picnic? And play Kick the Can? And go swimming in the river? And catch beetles together in the forest? And—”

 

“Yah, Lee Gilyoung, stop being so selfish!” Shin Yoosung catches up to him and cries out. “We can’t only do what you want to. Ahjussi, please can we go to a family restaurant together? I want to get ice-cream, too. And go to an arcade to play with all the claw machines.”

 

“Hey, Shin Yoosung, don’t you think you’re being too greedy? If hyung does those things with you, then he won’t have any time for me!”

 

“Who cares about you?” Shin Yoosung tilts her chin up.

 

Lee Gilyoug mimics her and puffs his chest out. “Fine, then let’s ask hyung who he wants to spend time with more!”

 

They both turn on their heels to look up at Kim Dokja expectantly. Their eyes are large and sparkling, like two equally cute and vicious little puppy dogs. Kim Dokja looks down at them and finds himself at a momentary loss for words. Both of them look like all of their pride and dignity is riding on his answer, and his answer alone.

 

Before he can gather his wits about, two pale hands find their way to rest on the top of the kids’ heads.

 

Yoo Sanga stands behind them with a genial smile. “Now, don’t fight, kids,” she says. The children continue pouting and glaring at each other, though they drop their aggressive stances and turn to her obediently. Kim Dokja looks at her gratefully, but she meets his eyes and smirks instead.

 

“I know you guys are disappointed,” Yoo Sanga continues, “but Dokja-ssi will be spending all his time with Jonghyuk-ssi.”

 

Kim Dokja’s blinks, disoriented, at the unexpected betrayal. The kids grumble and send irritated looks at Yoo Jonghyuk, who ignores them, but acquiesce as if they accept that this fact truly cannot be helped. Yoo Sanga spares Kim Dokja one more smile before leading the kids away, and he does a full-body shudder after she turns around. That woman is scary. 

 

Meanwhile, the other companions seem to have come to a brand-new conclusion. Lee Jihye in particular is jumping up and down excitedly, eyes glittering, and she suddenly looks every bit the 17 year-old girl she is. “Oh my God,” she squeals, “does this mean Master and ahjussi are going on a date?”

 

[The constellation ‘Maritime War God’ has donated 3,000 coins.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ has also started jumping up and down.]

 

Kim Dokja’s eyeballs threaten to bulge out of his head at the words, and he frantically looks around for someone to help him deal with this dangerous situation.

 

Next to him, Han Sooyoung’s eyes have practically turned into dollar signs as she continues pouring over the donation screen, completely oblivious to the outside world. Yoo Sanga and the children are some distance away, busy playing a game together. Jung Heewon looks like she is thoroughly enjoying the situation, and Lee Hyunsung smiles apologetically from beside her. Lee Seolhwa, the one person who should definitely not be okay with this, gives Kim Dokja a huge thumbs-up and smile when their eyes meet.

 

Kim Dokja stumbles slightly backwards, feeling equal parts disoriented and betrayed. He shakes his head and attempts to right himself. Okay, so they’ve left him with no choice. He had wanted to avoid doing this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. He takes a deep breath and turns to the final person in the company.

 

“Hey, you—”

 

“Yes.” Yoo Jonghyuk ignores Kim Dokja and replies curtly.

 

Silence.

 

Kim Dokja’s pupils shake, stupefied. “Yes, what?” He asks dumbly.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk looks at him like Kim Dokja is a bug he can’t wait to squash underneath his combat boots. “Yes, we’re going on a date.” He says, like that should be obvious.

 

Kim Dokja stares at him.

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is screaming in happiness.]

 

He blinks.

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is cackling approvingly at Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’s bluntness.]

 

[The constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is choking on his drink.]

 

Same, though.

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ admires the free and courageous spirit of Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’.]

 

[The constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ would like to welcome Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ to the family.]

 

[The constellation ‘Father of the Rich Night’ is looking at Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ appraisingly.]

 

Kim Dokja rubs his eyes vigorously to clear them, and looks up again. The messages are still there, and increasing at an exponential rate. They are also getting more and more ludicrous by the second.

 

[The constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is volunteering the Underworld for the wedding reception.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ says she would like to be a bridesmaid.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ says that he better be a groomsman or else.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ boasts that he gives the best wedding presents.]

 

[The constellation ‘Mass Production Maker’ says he gives far better wedding presents.]

 

[The constellation ‘Bald General of Justice’ is rubbing his head happily at this development.]

 

[The constellation ‘Goryeo’s First Sword’ sincerely congratulates ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on their timely engagement.]

 

[Tales of your magnificent romance is being spread throughout the ‘Star Stream’!]

 

[550,000 coins have been sponsored!]

 

Kim Dokja watches the messages scroll past with a detached sense of horror and amazement, until the last two pop up vehemently like a bucket of ice water being dumped over his head. He abruptly snaps back to reality.

 

Now wait a goddamn second.

 

What the actual fuck is happening right now? Kim Dokja shakes his head; rather than ‘Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World,’ is he perhaps actually living in a C-rate fanfiction? Everything about this situation is ridiculous.

 

[Exclusive skill ‘Fourth Wall’ is absorbing your mental shock!]

 

[Exclusive skill ‘Fourth Wall’ is shocked by how much mental shock you have from this.]

 

[Exclusive skill ‘Fourth Wall’ has absorbed the majority of your mental shock.]

 

Kim Dokja takes a deep breath and turns around, hand reaching out to grab Yoo Jonghyuk’s collar. The bastard looks utterly unfazed, and if Kim Dokja looks closely, perhaps even a bit smug at the abrupt turn of events. Of course, that only serves to agitate Kim Dokja further.

 

“You— you—” He splutters uncharacteristically, and Yoo Jonghyuk, the fucking asshole, smirks at him. “What the fuck!” Kim Dokja blurts out.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes are dark and amused as they bear into Kim Dokja’s. “What are you complaining about now?” He asks unconcernedly. “Look at how many coins and useful items we’re receiving.”

 

“What am I complaining about??? I’m complaining about—” Kim Dokja starts saying incredulously, only to choke on his words as a new barrage of indirect messages come flying in.

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is squealing for you to kiss.]

 

[The constellation ‘God of Wine and Ecstasy’ is repeatedly chanting ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is cheering on Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’s free and courageous spirit.]

 

[The constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ does not know how to react.]

 

[The constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is wiping a motherly tear from her eye.]

 

[The constellation ‘Father of the Rich Night’ says their son has truly grown into a man.]

 

[The absolute majority of constellations in the channel would like ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ to kiss.]

 

Kim Dokja stares at the messages, slack-jawed. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He exclaims after a moment. “This is not how it’s going to happen—” He lets go of Yoo Jonghyuk’s collar, only now realizing how close together their faces are, and starts to back away. Before he can get too far, however, something behind him blocks his escape and pushes him further into Yoo Jonghyuk’s personal space instead.

 

Kim Dokja turns his head. Han Sooyoung is glaring at him, her hands braced on his back.

 

[Kiss him, Kim Dokja.]

 

She hisses at him through ‘Midday Tryst,’ and his eyebrows scrunch up.

 

[Why???] He sends back, trying to push back against Han Sooyoung, but she is seriously freakishly strong and doesn’t budge.

 

[Do you know how much free shit we’re getting out of this?]

 

[…you’re such a materialistic asshole.]

 

[Shut the fuck up and kiss him.]

 

Kim Dokja abruptly remembers that this is a channel open between all three of them. He turns desperately to Yoo Jonghyuk in a last ditch attempt.

 

[Are you okay with being exploited like this?]

 

Yoo Jonghyuk lifts an unimpressed eyebrow at him. Instead of answering, he asks, [Do you really not want to kiss me?]

 

Kim Dokja freezes at the completely unexpected question.

 

[Yeah, don’t you want to kiss him?] Han Sooyoung chimes in unnecessarily, and he flips her off without turning around.

 

He narrows his eyes both disbelievingly and thoughtfully. Yes, Yoo Jonghyuk is a bastard, but he isn’t a bastard who has this twisted kind of sense of humor. The expression on his face reveals absolutely nothing, but he doesn’t look away either, simply waiting for Kim Dokja to take the next step.

 

Kim Dokja stares at him, immensely conflicted. What kind of question is that anyways? Do you really not want to kiss me?— who just says shit like that?

 

[Kim Dokja wanted desperately to kiss Yoo Jonghyuk.]

 

Kim Dokja’s eye twitches. The Fourth Wall can go die in a pit already. He ignores the embarrassing narration inside his head, and studies Yoo Jonghyuk closely instead.

 

Ah, shit. This bastard just has to be inhumanly fucking handsome. Not for the first time nor the last, Kim Dokja laments the unfairness of the protagonist.

 

And that’s the thing— you’d have to be either dead or a eunuch to not feel something whilst being stared at intensely by a face like that. Although Kim Dokja has died before, he is very much a living, breathing person right now.

 

So yes.

 

He feels something, goddammit.

 

[Kim Dokja thought, ‘fuck it.’]

 

He surges forward before he can think better of it and presses his mouth to Yoo Jonghyuk’s. He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the explosion of indirect messages that is sure to follow, hands clutching lightly at Yoo Jonghyuk’s biceps. To his credit, Yoo Jonghyuk responds immediately, as if he had been absolutely confident that Kim Dokja would kiss him.

 

Kim Dokja feels a touch to the small of his back, pulling him in until their bodies are pressed flush together. He had been planning to pull away after a couple seconds of contact at most, but Yoo Jonghyuk is evidently on a different page from him. He has to gasp when he feels a tongue swipe over his bottom lip. The motion is slow but not tentative, and would you look at that— he ends up with Yoo Jonghyuk’s tongue inside his mouth.

 

Kim Dokja’s body reacts before his brain can fully comprehend the fact that him and Yoo Jonghyuk are kissing at all, and his lips part under Yoo Jonghyuk's easily. He faintly feels a calloused hand taking hold of his jaw, but the touch is light and gentle, a complete juxtaposition to the fervent movement of their mouths against each other. The experience is made all the more intense by the way that Kim Dokja keeps his eyes closed; like this, he feels utterly wrapped up in Yoo Jonghyuk, who continues kissing him like he wants to devour him whole. He would be lying if he said that it didn’t feel good. Really, annoyingly good.

 

[Kim Dokja could keep doing this forever.]

 

Yoo Jonghyuk presses closer. He does something absolutely wicked with his tongue, and Kim Dokja lets out the smallest whimper at the back of his throat. It is barely loud enough for Kim Dokja himself to realize he’s made it, but Yoo Jonghyuk’s reaction to it is instant. His arm tightens around Kim Dokja’s waist almost painfully, like he can’t help himself. The kiss turns even more relentless until Kim Dokja doesn’t even have the capacity to remember to breathe anymore.

 

He is the one to pull away first, but only after it becomes absolutely necessary. I.e. he would be at risk of passing out if he didn’t. His hands push lightly at Yoo Jonghyuk’s chest as he gulps in lungfuls of air greedily. Kim Dokja finally opens his eyes, and is mildly gratified by the way Yoo Jonghyuk looks just as disheveled as he feels for once.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk’s arm lingers heavy and hot around his waist, but Kim Dokja can’t find it in himself to mind the contact too much. They’re both breathing heavily, refusing to look away as they catch their breaths. Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes are as fierce and concentrated as they always are. Kim Dokja swallows involuntarily; he can faintly feel the rhythm of Yoo Jonghyuk’s heartbeat underneath his fingertips through the thin fabric of his shirt.

 

Kim Dokja's lips are still tingling from the kiss. He licks his bottom lip absentmindedly, only for Yoo Jonghyuk's eyes to darken at the action. A flash of heat stirs in Kim Dokja's stomach, and his chin begins tipping upwards again on its own volition, as if entranced—

 

Okay,” Han Sooyoung says loudly, “well. That was intense.”

 

—Kim Dokja jumps.

 

Right. There are other people here.

 

He turns around, only to immediately make eye contact with Han Sooyoung, whose expression is both amused and disturbed. There’s something like pitying laughter in her gaze, which Kim Dokja decides he doesn’t like. He quickly looks away.

 

The next candidate doesn’t seem to be much better, however, as Lee Jihye stares at them, cheeks flushed and eyes shining. Kim Dokja can practically see pink hearts floating in the air around her as she watches the two of them. Beside her, Jung Heewon looks incredibly entertained, like she’s watching a particularly amusing movie. Lee Hyunsung grins at Kim Dokja supportively when their eyes meet.

 

Moving along... Lee Seolhwa’s genial smile hasn’t budged a single millimeter. In fact, she looks positively delighted by the scene in front of her, and is sporting a suspicious blush similar to Lee Jihye’s. Yoo Sanga stands next to her, each of her hands shielding one of the children’s eyes— and there it is again. An amused look on her face.

 

Kim Dokja curses silently underneath his breath. What’s up with all the women in his life being amused by him? They basically just see him as a mascot, at this point. Damn. Does anybody even take him seriously anymore?

 

Kim Dokja shakes his head, dejected, when a huge, bright flash of light catches his attention. When he looks closer, he realizes that it is coming from the scenario window.

 

The sudden explosion of indirect messages is a spectacular sight. Enough so, at least, that Kim Dokja forgets to step away from Yoo Jonghyuk and stays in their somewhat compromising position in favor of watching the screen. The light draws the attention of all the party members, who look at the overflowing screen in awe. 

 

"Ahem, I apologize for the delay," Bihyung clears his throat. "The server was a bit overloaded earlier."

 

The messages and donations begin scrolling by onscreen at an unreadable speed. It's truly a beautiful sight, if Kim Dokja were to ignore the cause behind it. 

 

“Shit,” Han Sooyoung observes blankly. “We’re rich.”

 

Kim Dokja clicks his tongue, but he also can’t look away from the window. “We were already rich,” he replies.

 

“No, we’re rich.” Han Sooyoung retorts.

 

“And to think, all we had to do this whole time was whore Kim Dokja and Yoo Jonghyuk out.” Jung Heewon comments.

 

“This will be useful information for the future,” Yoo Sanga remarks blandly.

 

“Hyung, what does ‘whore’ mean?” Lee Gilyoung asks.

 

Kim Dokja’s face twitches, like it doesn’t know what expression to make. He turns his head, finding that Yoo Jonghyuk has managed to return to his usual poker face. Their eyes meet without warning, and Kim Dokja abruptly springs back like he’s been burned. It’s a testament to how surprised Yoo Jonghyuk is that his grip on Kim Dokja falls away easily.

 

Kim Dokja takes several steps backward until there is a respectable distance between them. And then he takes a couple more, just for good measure. His head is a mess of thoughts, hot and flustered in a way that it hasn’t been since… ever, really. He doesn’t understand why the Fourth Wall isn’t helping him out right now.

 

“That wasn’t what it looked like!” Kim Dokja blurts without thinking, and then immediately regrets it.

 

The company members— specifically the women— turn to him sharply, pouncing on the statement like sharks that smell blood in the water. “Oh? It wasn’t?” Han Sooyoung snickers sinisterly, “I don’t know what the others saw, but to me it looked like you and Yoo Jonghyuk were furiously making out to the point where you completely forgot we existed?”

 

“Are you sure they didn’t also telepathically confess their undying love for one another while they were at it?” Jung Heewon adds on.

 

Lee Jihye clasps her hands together dreamily. “It was such a beautiful display of physical and emotional love! As expected from Master.”

 

Kim Dokja’s mind works diligently. A million thoughts must cross his mind in the space of a second. He needs to find a way to stop this horrible, horrible conversation from going on, although deep down inside he knows this is already one of those things that will probably haunt him forever.

 

“Hey,” Kim Dokja protests halfheartedly. “Stop, there are children listening.”

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ shouts very loudly that he is not a child.]

 

The indirect message pops up forcefully in the air, like it has a vengeance. Kim Dokja stares at it, dumbfounded.

 

“…I was talking about Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung.” He says after a moment.

 

[…]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ says that he knew that.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ adds that he is very smart and mature. A smart, mature, and manly man.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is laughing at ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ cannot control the blood that is still flowing from her nose.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is fanning herself with her hands.]

 

[The constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is completely frozen.]

 

As if the floodgates have been broken, indirect messages begin appearing in front of them at an unbelievably rapid pace. As a result, Kim Dokja only catches a few familiar names that his eyes happen to skim across before they disappear again.

 

[The constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is giggling happily behind her fingers.]

 

[The constellation ‘God of Wine and Ecstasy’ is giving two gigantic thumbs-up.]

 

[The constellation ‘Bald General of Justice’ is blushing and rubbing his head in a congratulatory manner.]

 

[The constellation ‘Lily Blooming in Aquarius’ is trying to help stop ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’s nose bleed.]

 

[The constellation ‘Father of the Rich Night’ is mildly embarrassed.]

 

[The constellation ‘Mass Production Maker’ is laughing heartily.]

 

There are some incredibly random ones as well.

 

[The constellation ‘Nail-Eating Rat’ is looking at ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’s nails covetously.]

 

[The constellation ‘Monarch of the Small Fries’ disapproves of the rapid development of this relationship.]

 

[A constellation that likes holding itself back warns ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ not to succumb to the earthly desires of the flesh.]

 

All this isn’t even to mention the coins, fables, and items they’re receiving in the name of ‘pre-wedding presents.’ Kim Dokja tears his eyes away from the indirect messages. Any more of this and he’s going to go crazy. He feels too embarrassed to look at the other company members, but especially Yoo Jonghyuk.

 

“Right,” he says semi-hysterically. “So does this mean we’ve cleared the scenario? Can we go now? Let’s go now.”

 

He starts to walk blindly, with no clear destination in mind but just the knowledge that he needs to get out of here pronto. Before he can even take one full step, two different hands push him back by the shoulders.

 

Han Sooyoung and, surprisingly but also not, Lee Jihye are standing in front of him, blocking his path. “Ahjussi, are you trying to abandon Master in the middle of your date?” Lee Jihye asks, looking genuinely upset.

 

“Yeah, are you?” Han Sooyoung adds, but unlike Lee Jihye there is absolutely no innocuous good will in her voice. Kim Dokja narrows his eyes at her, and she smirks. They both know she just wants more rewards.

 

Kim Dokja resists the urge to wipe at his forehead. He can’t remember the last time he sweat this much. “Ah,” he starts carefully, “about that date. Yoo Jonghyuk was just joking earlier. Hey, weren’t you?” He sends a pointed look at Yoo Jonghyuk.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk stares back at him, face unreadable. Kim Dokja begs him with his eyes to just back him up here, for once. Yoo Jonghyuk crosses his arms, and finally speaks after a moment.

 

“No, I wasn’t joking,” he says, “we’re going on a date.”

 

…it was Kim Dokja’s fault for having any faith in him in the first place.

                                                                                                           

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’s eyes are sparkling.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ says something about an OTP.]

                                                                                                                         

Yoo Jonghyuk begins stalking toward Kim Dokja rather menacingly. Kim Dokja flinches at his rapidly approaching figure, and puts his hands up. “Wait, Yoo Jonghyuk,” he starts appeasingly, but Yoo Jonghyuk gives no indication that he’s heard him. Shit, he’s going to get killed, isn’t he? “You—”

 

Yoo Jonghyuk grabs his arm. “Kim Dokja,” he says, voice low, and Kim Dokja gulps reflexively. “You’re really stupid, aren’t you?”

 

Kim Dokja tries to pull his arm out of Yoo Jonghyuk’s grasp, but as expected it doesn’t budge. “Hey,” he says weakly, “that’s pretty rude.”

 

Yoo Jonghyuk ignores this and continues glaring at him. “Do I really have to spell this out for you?”

 

“Spell…” Kim Dokja tugs his arm futilely again. He grits his teeth, “spell what out? Look, if you’re going to hit me, then just do it.”

 

Yoo Jonghyuk heaves a dramatic (by his standards, anyway), long-suffering sigh. His hand tightens around Kim Dokja’s arm almost painfully for a second. And then he exhales slowly, standing right there before the gazes of all of their party members as well as countless constellations, and says—

 

“Kim Dokja, I’m in love with you.”

 

A beat.

 

Kim Dokja distantly wonders what kind of face he’s making right now. He opens his mouth to say something, but where is he even supposed to start? Yoo Jonghyuk appears to be completely unruffled as Kim Dokja stares at him, speechless. And there’s that feeling again, one that he only ever gets when he’s with Yoo Jonghyuk, and nobody else.

 

Like they’re the only two people in the world.

 

“Yoo Jonghyuk,” Kim Dokja says slowly, eyes not leaving Yoo Jonghyuk’s. “Do you even know what you’re saying right now?”

 

Yoo Jonghyuk actually scoffs at that. “Yes, you fucking idiot,” he says impatiently. “Is it that difficult to understand? I’m in love with you.”

 

[You have used ‘Lie Detection’ Lv.7]

 

[You have confirmed ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’s statement to be true.]

 

If it weren’t for Yoo Jonghyuk’s ironclad grip on his arm, Kim Dokja would have stumbled back a couple steps in shock. “I…” he says, but doesn’t know how to continue.

 

「 J ust sa y  you lov e  him b ack, stup id Kim Dokj a 」

 

Kim Dokja feels himself flush up to the tips of his ears. Say he loves Yoo Jonghyuk back!? Isn’t that a little too hasty? He swallows past the lump that has inexplicably formed in his throat. Wait a minute— who says that he even loves Yoo Jonghyuk back in the first place?

 

「 …Se rious ly? 」

 

Kim Dokja’s face gets even warmer. “I—” he starts again, but the words get stuck in his throat.

 

Publicly proclaiming one’s love really isn’t as easy as Yoo Jonghyuk had made it look. Kim Dokja has always known that he’s a shameless bastard, but still. That’s just on another level.

 

“Kim Dokja,” Yoo Jonghyuk says suddenly, apparently having had enough of Kim Dokja’s awkward stuttering. Kim Dokja jumps at the serious look on Yoo Jonghyuk’s face; okay, now he’s going to get hit. Yoo Jonghyuk reaches out, and…

 

…catches one of Kim Dokja’s hands between his own.

 

Wait, what?

 

Yoo Jonghyuk’s fingers smooth gently over his knuckles, caressing his palm, movements light and careful. Kim Dokja stares down at their intertwined hands like it’s grown two heads.

 

“Kim Dokja,” Yoo Jonghyuk says again, this time more softly. “You don’t have to reply me right now. I…shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that.”

 

Kim Dokja listens to this with a faint air of incredulity, and almost double-takes at how un-Yoo-Jonghyuk-like that entire statement is. Actually admitting his own faults like that? Displaying emotional competence? Unthinkable.

 

But these thoughts vanish as soon as Kim Dokja lifts his head, and makes eye contact with Yoo Jonghyuk again. For one, he has never seen Yoo Jonghyuk make that kind of expression before, nor has he imagined he ever would. It’s… vulnerable, in a way that only Yoo Jonghyuk can look. His eyebrows are slightly pinched together in worry, like he’s uncertain what kind of reaction Kim Dokja will have. His eyes, usually still and impassive, peer into Kim Dokja’s imploringly and with some other complicated emotion swirling just beneath the surface.

 

——Love, maybe.

 

Kim Dokja thinks about the Yoo Jonghyuk he has read 1863 regressions of. The one with a cold and impenetrable exterior, who purposefully distances himself from others in fear of getting hurt. Who can be painfully cynical at times, and often has trouble opening up and expressing himself.

                                                                                                                                             

That Yoo Jonghyuk is standing in front of him right now, making that kind of face. His hands, callused from holding the hilts of countless swords and weapons, are warm and painstakingly gentle where they hold Kim Dokja’s.

 

Kim Dokja abruptly brings his other hand up around the outside of Yoo Jonghyuk’s, grasping it tightly. He watches Yoo Jonghyuk’s face closely the entire time, which goes slightly slack in shock, and then softens just the tiniest bit. However, there is still nervousness lingering along the lines of his face. His head tilts minutely to one side, like a big murderous dog waiting for a response from his owner.

 

Shit, isn’t he being way too fucking cute right now?  

 

[Kim Dokja thought for the second time that day, ‘fuck it.’]

 

“Yoo Jonghyuk,” he says, “I’m in love with you too.”

 

The air between them is still and silent for several long moments. During that time, Kim Dokja engages in the most intense eye contact known to mankind with Yoo Jonghyuk, who is looking at him like he might find the answer to the universe inside Kim Dokja’s eyes if he just stares hard enough. Having all of Yoo Jonghyuk’s attention focused on him like this is actually making Kim Dokja feel a little hot beneath the collar. His heart can’t help but speed up in anticipation as he waits to see Yoo Jonghyuk’s reaction—

 

“Are you sure?” Yoo Jonghyuk asks suspiciously.

 

Oh.

 

He almost forgot, this is Yoo Jonghyuk they’re talking about here, the distrustful bastard.

 

“Seriously?” Kim Dokja says, “can’t you just be happy about it?”

 

Yoo Jonghyuk frowns, and steps closer. “Say it again,” he demands, fingers flexing around Kim Dokja’s bicep.

 

“…this is really embarrassing, you know that?” Kim Dokja says, but Yoo Jonghyuk just continues glaring sullenly at him. He sighs, and shifts so that they’re fully facing each other. He reaches up and cups Yoo Jonghyuk’s face with his hands somewhat aggressively. It’s functionally more similar to a light slap on the cheeks, actually. Yoo Jonghyuk continues staring down at him apprehensively, and Kim Dokja resists the urge to sigh again. He breathes in deeply.

 

“I love you,” Kim Dokja enunciates slowly. “You stupid bastard.”

 

[‘Yoo Jonghyuk' has used ‘Lie Detection’ Lv.11]

 

[‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ has confirmed your statement to be true.]

 

He can practically see the cogs and wheels turning inside Yoo Jonghyuk’s head as he processes this. After a moment, one side of his mouth lifts slowly in a small smirk. It looks pretty stupid, since his cheeks are still squished between Kim Dokja’s palms, but Yoo Jonghyuk pays that no mind as he wraps his hands lightly around Kim Dokja’s wrists.

 

“Good,” he says.

 

And then he— smiles. Not a smirk, or a sneer, but an actual smile. His eyes curve into charming little crescents beneath the sharp cut of his eyebrows, and Kim Dokja can only stare in wonder. He is so dazed that he releases his grip on Yoo Jonghyuk’s face, and is promptly attacked by the full force of Yoo Jonghyuk’s uninhibited smile. Shit, and Kim Dokja had thought it was impossible for this bastard to get any more handsome. Yoo Jonghyuk’s face right now is definitely enough to slap both Kyrgios Rodgraim and Jang Hayoung on the cheeks ten— no, twenty times over. He may be slightly biased.

 

“Very good,” Kim Dokja belatedly counters dumbly, unable to take his eyes off of Yoo Jonghyuk’s face.

 

Yoo Jonghyuk’s smile turns amused. “You mean great,” he corrects rather obnoxiously. Before Kim Dokja can come to his senses and say something about his annoying smugness, Yoo Jonghyuk leans down again.

 

Unlike the previous kiss, this one is short and sweet. Kim Dokja’s eyes stay open even when they pull away from each other, but their faces stay close together, so that they are breathing in the same air. Kim Dokja’s pulse is once again thundering in his ears, which is sort of ridiculous considering all they did was briefly press their lips together. Apparently, every tiny thing about Yoo Jonghyuk is enough to send his heart into overdrive.

 

He doesn’t know how long they spend simply standing there and staring at each other, but Kim Dokja isn’t complaining. It feels like no time has passed at all when they are interrupted again.

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is sobbing uncontrollably.]

 

[The constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ says she would die in the name of ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’s love.]

 

Kim Dokja’s eye twitches when the indirect messages begin to re-enter his field of vision. Yoo Jonghyuk is probably seeing the same thing, if the way his face stiffens is any indication, like he is just now remembering that they are before a not inconsiderable audience. Hah, maybe he should’ve thought of that before he decided to loudly declare his love like some shoujo manga protagonist.

 

[A constellation that loves love has never been more pleased.]

 

[The constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ has entirely stopped functioning.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is kind of grossed out, but also kind of happy, he guesses.]

 

The embarrassing messages make Kim Dokja want to bang his head against the wall. He settles for burying his face against Yoo Jonghyuk’s chest instead (damn this cursed height difference). The constellations are one thing, but the reactions of the company members are another, more unpleasant matter entirely. Namely…

 

“Kyaaa! That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen! Master, I am so touched right now.”

 

“Hyung, why is your face so red? Did that bastard do something to you?”

 

“Gilyoung-ah, don’t call Jonghyuk-ssi that, it’s impolite.” A pause. “At least say ‘bastard-hyung’.”

 

“Hey Yoo Jonghyuk, can I have the rights to write a novel about you two and sell it on the Star Stream? Just say yes. A verbal contract is enough, right?”

 

“Ahahahahhaaha, hahahahaha, ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahaha—”

                                                                                                                                     

A vein in Kim Dokja’s forehead throbs at the endless sound of Jung Heewon’s laughter, but he doesn’t say anything. They had brought this upon themselves, after all.

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ has donated 50,000 coins in commemoration of the blessed civil union between ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on this fine day.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ has more generously donated 100,000 coins in commemoration of the blessed civil union between ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on this fine day.]

 

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ has even more graciously donated 200,000 coins in commemoration of the blessed civil union between ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on this fine day.]

 

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ has incredibly unselfishly donated 300,000 coins in commemoration of the blessed civil union between ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on this fine day.]

 

[The constellation ‘Mass Production Maker’ has casually donated 1,000,000 coins in commemoration of the blessed civil union between ‘Demon King of Salvation’ and Incarnation ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ on this fine day.]

 

[…]

 

[The constellations ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ and ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ are both glaring at ‘Mass Production Maker’.]

 

Kim Dokja tears his gaze away from the indirect messages before they can give him a headache. These constellations are seriously… he shakes his head, and is trying his best to tune them out when his eyes happen to catch on Yoo Jonghyuk’s again.

 

Kim Dokja has never been someone who finds a person’s eyes to be an especially attractive physical feature— but he may have to reassess that about himself. Or maybe it’s just Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes in particular. Either way, Kim Dokja is entirely unable to look away. Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes are beautiful, honey gold under the sunlight and shining with a rare happiness. Even more so, when Kim Dokja knows he is the reason that happiness is there.

 

The background noise— Han Sooyoung’s avaricious ramblings and Jung Heewon’s grating laughter and ten billion and one indirect messages— all fade away.

 

Kim Dokja smiles widely and genuinely, and his heart feels so full it might burst when Yoo Jonghyuk smiles back.

 

Yeah. This was worth the trouble.

Notes:

kdj: i'm glad yoo jonghyuk bottles up everything until he explodes
yjh: *bottles up everything until he explodes*
kdj: wait not like that

pls feel free to drop a comment if u liked it! ;D