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As incredible as sex with Theo is - and it is absolutely magnificent - Hermione enjoys the time after, when they’re both sated and boneless and warm. She is also incredibly thankful for cleansing charms that allow her to stay in bed immediately after Theo comes inside her instead of rushing to the loo. She’s lost count of how many orgasms she’s had on this particular night and she’s exceptionally pliant, draped over Theo’s chest while he plays with her hair.
“Theo?”
“Hmm?” He’s just as relaxed as she is, his eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, though he is highly aware of what Hermione is doing. A single finger is swirling over his chest while her leg hooks around his. She’s starting to become like those tiny grey creatures they encountered in Australia after they found her parents.
“Did you and the other Slytherin guys ever, I mean, you know, back at Hogwarts?”
Theo blinks and slowly turns his face to her. Her eyes are still shut as she leans on him. It’s a bit of an odd question but then again, the time after sex is usually when they have the most random of conversations. So he says, “I don’t know that I know what you’re referring to, love. A bit more context?”
“Experimentation.”
“In what way?” His brows draw in. “We got away with a lot with potions experiments. Or do you mean… A few of us tried magical herbs once. Draco vomited everywhere. Never again.”
“That’s… First of all, ew. Second of all, that’s not what I meant.” Hermione opens her eyes and shifts, moving slightly away from him and propping her head on a closed fist. “Like… Blow jobs.”
“I’m sorry, what now?” Theo sits up, bewilderment obvious on his face, and he stares down at Hermione, who is now laying on her back. It’s her turn to look at nothing. “Blow jobs? With the guys?”
“Mm-hmm,” she says as though she didn’t just throw him for a complete look. “I just remembered a conversation I’ve had with Harry.”
“Of course this is where it starts,” Theo murmurs.
“Pretty sure we were pissed at the time. I think it was after he’d finished Auror training.”
“Go on,” though he says it warily like he isn’t quite sure if he actually wants her to continue.
“We were trying to one-up each other on sex. You know - who’d done more adventurous things and whatnot.” She glances at him from the corner of her eyes. “We should do that one time.”
“I’m very boring,” he deadpans, to which Hermione laughs and turns her head to bite at his hip. “Do I even want to know who started?”
“Probably not.” Hermione sits up and leans against the pillows. Grabbing Theo’s hand, she skims her fingernails over his palm, making him shiver. “But I’d just finished telling him about the time I snuck over to Romania - snuck because Ron couldn’t know, you see - and well, Charlie managed to get me up on a dragon and I gave him a handjob. Charlie, that is, not the dragon.”
A glaze briefly covers Theo’s eyes but he shakes it away. “First of all, do you mean an actual dragon or does the dragon tamer actually call his cock a dragon? And second of all, how have you not told me this story before?”
“No euphemism here,” she says with a laugh. “I mean, we really climbed on top of a fire-breathing dragon’s back and flew. And I jerked him off while in the air. That’s really all there is to the story.”
“We’ll see about that.” Theo gives her a pointed look. “But please, tell me how Harry topped that one.”
Hermione snickers. “Topped.”
Theo tries not to laugh, but he fails spectacularly, and pulls at some of her curls, watching them spring back. “Please try not to return to the mindset of a young teen still at Hogwarts, love. Now what did Harry say?”
“I was never a regular teen,” she points out with a snort of derision, but she laughs when Theo tickles her. “Okay, okay . Harry said that in sixth year, he and the others decided they were going to try a circle jerk.”
“Well, that’s not the most usual but hardly –”
“With their mouths.”
Theo immediately starts to sputter, “What, that’s, what, they just, Hermione, what?”
She nods as she looks off into the distance. “Yeah. Something about how the older boys said they did it. Probably how Oliver decided Percy Weasley was more than just a bookworm. Like me. I’m more than a bookworm.”
“Hermione –”
“Oh, and Harry said they only learned about the circle jerk part from the older years. Not the blow job part. I think it was Seamus who came up with that part.”
“Why –”
“Do you think they stayed standing? Bent over at the waist with each other? Or do you think they all just… Lay on the floor, over-under style?”
“I have so many questions,” Theo whispers. “And so many visions I don’t want to see.”
“Really?” Hermione asks with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not at all wondering who has the biggest dick and who sucked the best? Personally, I would love to know who came first.”
The couple sits there in silence, minds whirling. Theo’s hand tightens its hold on Hermione’s.
“Harry probably has the biggest cock, generally speaking, though I have a feeling Neville is a close second? He’s possibly longer but Harry has the girth.”
“Theo,” Hermione laughs his name.
“I bet Seamus has the best mouth.”
“Thought about this, have you?” Hermione muses.
“Do you think Ron or Neville came first though?”
“Are we really having this conversation?”
“ You started it,” Theo argues playfully. “I was doing just fine, basking in the glory of our lovemaking, but no , you had to talk about circular blow jobs during our school years.”
Hermione lets out a boisterous laugh and straddles Theo. Her arms loop over his shoulders, her fingers reaching up to play with the waves of hair that curl at his neck. “You are so full of shit, Theodore Nott.”
“You’re about to be full of me.”
This time, when Hermione laughs, she cuts herself off by kissing Theo. As absurd as the conversation is, she loves it. There is something she loves about being so carefree with him, so open. She pulls away and presses their foreheads together. “Promise?”
“Let’s see.”
He lowers her down onto her back, tucking his knees beneath her thighs. She arches into his hands as they move from her waist and over her ribcage. He cups her breasts, brushes his thumbs over her nipples. A series of whispers emerges from his mouth and Hermione watches a small glow of yellow sink into her abdomen, feels herself slicken to prepare for him.
“By the way,” she says conversationally, even as Theo slips a couple of fingers inside of her.
“Hmm?” Theo loves the way she flushes for him and is distracted as the blush makes its way over her entire body.
“Harry came first.”
Theo startles and then freezes, his fingers stilling at her entrance.
“Said Dean’s mouth was amazingly sinful and there was no way he couldn’t come right away.”
“Hermione.”
She giggles again, but the sound soon changes into moans when Theo decides he needs to take her mind off of her friends and their appendages. After all, there’s only one she needs now.