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Jungkook’s hand rested outside the window as he drove past the last stoplight before the hospital, fingers rapping a melody against the door of the car as a breeze tickled at the skin of his arm. Though it had been hot lately and a bright white sun shone down on him, there was an ominous wall of dark clouds that draped over the horizon. Jungkook also thought it smelled like a storm; something that his friends had made fun of him for saying, but which was a real thing. A crackling, not-quite-smoky scent hovered in the air, resonating somewhere between coolness and a warm, rising heat that made the energy feel nearly tangible. Absently he grasped around that air, biting at his bottom lip in thought.
This weekend was supposed to have been his birthday camping trip with his best friend. By this time, they would have been well on their way up the mountain, radio blaring and laughter bubbling in his chest, the smell of gear and dust in the backseat. It was an important weekend, because he was finally going to tell Seokjin. He hadn’t decided on exactly the moment, but he imagined it as a casually-spoken admittance around the campfire late into the night, when mosquitos were biting at their ankles and Seokjin’s contacts had started to dry out, making him blink harder than usual in his endearing way. He could see it now - Seokjin with a baseball cap sitting low on his forehead, almond eyes sparkling in the light from the flames, cheeks a little rosy as they sipped at their beers. Maybe a faint blush on his cheeks with a debatable cause - between the warmth of the fire, the warmth of the alcohol, or maybe (just maybe) because he felt the same way. That was how the weekend was supposed to have gone, for better or for worse.
Unfortunately, timing was not Jungkook’s strong suit.
He parked the car, checking his phone to see if Seokjin had messaged. His appendectomy had been scheduled for eight in the morning, and it was now nine thirty, but he hadn’t heard anything since their exchange the night before. He had sweetly asked if Jungkook could drive him home from the hospital, and of course Jungkook had said yes.
‘I’d walk there and carry you home on my back if you asked, hyung,’ he had wanted to add, but hadn’t.
Jungkook sighed, the back of his head hitting the headrest with a thunk as he tried to collect himself. Now was not the time to be dwelling on what had not happened, but what was happening. He steeled himself and made his way inside, slipping his earbuds into his ears as he walked. The glass hospital doors automatically slid open, the smell of disinfectant heavy in the air as Jungkook slipped a clean face mask on and put on his oversized dark-gray sweatshirt, tugging at the bottom hem. The lady at the front desk directed him to room 0612 to wait, and once there he sat himself on one of the uncomfortable plastic-covered seats in the corner. Music blared in his ears as he picked at a loose thread on his pants, unsure how long he would have to wait. Outside got grayer, and he stared out the window as another song began. It would have been nice to have had the trip with Seokjin, of course, but perhaps it was for the best, as it looked as though they would have been rained out anyways.
“Jungkook-ah! You came! I’ve been looki’ e’rywhere!” came a familiar (and slurred) voice. Jungkook looked up to see Seokjin being wheeled into the room on a large bed, a nurse at each side like he was seated on a royal palanquin. Jungkook stepped up to the bed and started to laugh as he noted the sleepy, unfocused look in Seokjin’s eyes. His blinks weren’t quite in sync, and he couldn’t quite keep his head propped up. Nonetheless he still attempted to hold out his arms to Jungkook. Instinctively, Jungkook leaned in closer but still let out a surprised grunt when Seokjin snatched Jungkook by the neck and yanked him down against his shoulder with a squeeze. Nearly toppling over, Jungkook tried to balance himself against the high edge of the hospital bed.
“Of course, hyung,” he chuckled, already smiling ear to ear, flushing as he noted the nurses smiling over at them both. “Looks like you lived.”
“Ah, Ungkook-ah, you’re such a good boy,” Seokjin said, shaking his head and touching a hand to his chest. He turned to face someone over Jungkook’s pinned shoulder and too loudly declared, “I told you. He’s jus’ so..so..” Goosebumps rose on Jungkook’s skin as a very cute squeaky noise sounding very much like a pterodactyl shriek escaped Seokjin.
Jungkook was leaned forward to give him a half-hug, awkward as it was as he leaned over the tall bed. Seokjin’s hand ran through his hair, brushing back his bangs. The pulse oximeter on Seokjin’s finger clunked against Jungkook’s temple, the sticky pads to hold tubes steady scratched against his cheek. There was the smell of the hospital, of course, but there was also the sweet natural scent of Seokjin, and the warmth of his touch. Jungkook couldn’t help it. His eyes shut, and he smiled so broadly he felt the gentle pull of his lip piercing around his mouth. If only he was this level of cuddly normally, then Jungkook wouldn’t have to annoy him to get his attention.
“So cute , my Jungkookie.”
The words made warmth explode in Jungkook’s chest, and his face flush as he finally let Jungkook up a little bit. One of the nurses straightened the bed out against the wall, then she gave Jungkook a smile. “Seokjin was a very popular patient today. And all he could talk about was how cute his Jungkook was.”
Seokjin scoffed loudly, even as the tips of his ears went bright pink. “I didn’t say that! Nurse Joy is a liar.” He yanked on Jungkook’s sleeve, “Jungkook-ah, Jungkook-ah.”
Jungkook felt his cheeks ache from the smile he couldn’t subdue, not sure how to best satisfy him. “Yes, hyung?”
“I just did drugs and lost an organ and I didn’t even go to Vegas.” He wheeze-giggled cutely, slapping his hands together.
Jungkook shook his head, rolling his eyes and letting out a groan. “Apparently they gave you the fun drugs, hyung. Which is good, considering you were in a lot of pain when I left you last night.”
“Oh yes,” he agreed with a nod that seemed a little too loose to be fully under Seokjin’s control, loopy and exaggerated. “I thought I was going to die.”
“I wouldn't have let you die,” Jungkook promised confidently, belying the fear that had gripped him the night before. When he had heard Seokjin's cries of pain and seen the shine of sweat on his brow as he struggled into the ER only to discover he had appendicitis and needed surgery.
“Ah,” Seokjin sort of scoffed gutturally, not quite meeting Jungkook's eyes. “You would have tried to punch my appendix out yourself. Such a good Jungkookie.”
The nurses handed Jungkook a lot of paperwork and some medication, along with many instructions on what to expect in the upcoming weeks, how to take care of his hyung, and signs of infection that he should look out for. It would take some time for the anesthetics to wear off, but other than that they would be back in just a moment to take him down to the front entrance.
“Hope you feel better, sweetie,” ‘Nurse Joy’ said to Seokjin with a wave. He blew her a dramatic kiss, making her laugh.
As the gaggle of people excused themselves, Jungkook stood awkwardly nearby Seokjin's bed. A jolt of electricity ran through him when suddenly his hand was grasped, and Seokjin was squeezing his fingers and giving him a sleepy smile.
A long pause held onto the air around them, then Seokjin stated more solemnly, “I'm sorry I ruined our weekend.“
“It's no problem, hyung. Your health comes first.”
“But you were so excited. And it’s your birthday ,” Seokjin whined. “We were supposed to fish, chop firewood, roast weenies, and be the most manly men you’ve ever seen.”
His nose scrunched up in barely-bridled humor, Jungkook shook his head. “All those manly weenies and things can be done later.”
Seokjin wheezed out a few breathy giggles. “Manly weenies.”
“I’m going to record you now,” Jungkook teased, pulling out his cell phone and opening up the camera. “Hyung, you’re being so funny today.”
“‘Ungkook-ah,” Seokjin groaned, flapping his arms uselessly in the general direction of the phone. “‘Ungkook-ah, don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, hyung,” Jungkook reassured him. But the hand flapped over and snatched up Jungkook’s hand. “Arms tired. Noodles.” He laughed at his own comment, waggling his arms a little in a wavy motion. “Noodl’.”
“Hyung, the nurses said you were a really popular patient today. Did you flirt with them using that face of yours?”
Seokjin’s face turned a bright shade of red that spread from the tips of his ears all the way down to his chest. He slapped one of his own hands across his mouth to hide the big goofy grin, and squeaked in laughter. “ No! ” he crowed.
Snorting, Jungkook shook his head. “Somehow I don’t believe you. When you’re drunk, all you say are lies, hyung.”
“Shut up, noodly boy,” Seokjin insisted with a playful pout. But then he seemed to lose his train of thought, and he reached out and started cupping Jungkook’s cheek in his palm. Jungkook felt his whole body start to ache at the touch. “You so pretty .”
The laughter that escaped this time was much more breathy, much more forced and nervous. “W-what? Hyung, you’re saying weird things.”
“Are you recordin’? Wait, nooo..” he mumbled, but still raised a peace sign to the camera. “Kookie, ‘M tired, c’mere..” He stretched his arms out again, making grabby motions with his hands.
“So cute, hyung,” he declared, standing up and pointing his phone again at the man on the bed who had only the slightest cross-eyed look as he stared up at Jungkook. “Anything you want to say to your eomma or your friends?”
In lieu of an answer, Seokjin touched his fingertips to his plush lips, pouting slightly, and blew a kiss to him, making the camera shake with Jungkook’s laughter.
“Hyung, do you want me to pick you up anything on the way home?”
Instead of responding, Seokjin let out a grunt, making grabby hands at Jungkook’s sweater sleeve and tugging him forward. When Jungkook allowed himself to be bent down again, Seokjin nuzzled against him in a needy way.
“Ah, this hyungie,” Jungkook muttered half to the camera, as he stopped the recording and slipped his phone into his pocket with one hand. With his hands free, he tentatively leaned down and allowed his hands to awkwardly wrap around Seokjin’s shoulders, stiffly letting himself be held. Seokjin hummed, running a hand through Jungkook’s hair and brushing back his bangs. It felt only too lovely so Jungkook let his eyes shut for a moment, indulging in the moment and committing the feeling to memory. His chest ached at the idea of just curling up right next to him on the bed, petting his head and telling him to sleep.
“How ‘bout we jes’ stay here ‘n’ cuddle?”
He would never say such things unless he was high as a kite or completely sloshed, Jungkook was sure of this - at least, not to him . On any normal day, he could have shaken off the heaviness of his secret. But perhaps it was his relief at seeing Seokjin feeling so much better, or boldness from how goofy and physical he was acting, but instead of rolling his eyes Jungkook scrunched his nose up in a teasing smile and whispered, “That sounds fun, hyung.”
“What? Really? Then c’mere, goddamn it!” Seokjin pulled him even closer to him as though attempting to drag him up onto the bed. There was no chance to argue, especially not when he was laughing so much. He was bent over so his whole upper half was nearly against Seokjin’s un-wounded side. The patient then proceeded to rub his face back and forth like a dog against Jungkook’s shoulder, making him splutter. The tickling sensation made his body jolt, and he felt his stomach flip deliciously.
“Hyung! Let go!”
“No!” To his astonishment the man continued to nose at him, huffing if Jungkook tried to pull away. “C’mere.”
“I don’t–”
“No!”
“I don’t wanna hurt you by–”
“NO!”
Every time Jungkook tried to speak, Seokjin pouted further and shook his head while screaming “No!” at him yet again, until Jungkook sighed in exasperation. Eventually, he managed to wriggle onto one side of the bed, focusing his weight away from Seokjin’s waist as he awkwardly bent to allow Seokjin to hug him side-by-side on the bed. The fingers returned to his scalp, massaging there every once in a while as Jungkook awkwardly rested his head against Seokjin’s shoulder. A soft hum of a lazy melody thrummed in Seokjin’s chest, until his hands began to slow.
“H-hyung?” he breathed, face flushed and every hair in his body standing on head as he felt the fingertips brushing against his scalp. “What are you doing?”
The humming continued, the hand kept brushing, and then something warm and soft touched against his forehead. Jungkook froze.
Had Seokjin just kissed his forehead?
He had never known that drugs could be so heavenly, and he wasn’t even the one with it in his system. He could have died happily in that moment with Seokjin’s arms around him and singing in nonsensical babbles, his chest rumbling against Jungkook’s ear. Logically, he knew he should pull away. He knew he should insist they get out of there and take Seokjin home, let the anesthesia wear off and pretend that it hadn’t happened.
But he didn’t want to.
“Seokjin-hyung?”
“My sweet Kookie,” he mumbled, his lips in Jungkook’s hair. He felt the hot exhales against his scalp, and a delighted shiver ran through him. “So cute..”
Jungkook swallowed, letting Seokjin hold him for a long moment. It felt so nice to be so close to him, but they needed to go. He started to pry the long arms off of his shoulders, sitting partway up on the bed. “Hyung, we should–”
“Shh..” Seokjin placed one long, crooked finger against Jungkook’s lips, then smiled so warmly down at him that it physically hurt Jungkook to see it. His plush lips curved upwards and created short dips in the edges of his mouth that deepened into little parentheses to enclose the mouth that had captivated him for years. His eyes sparkled, glassy in their unfocused mirth. In a stage-whisper full of drawn out noises and breathiness, he tapped that one finger against Jungkook’s lips. “I’ll tell you a se-cret. You wanna?” Bemused, Jungkook simply nodded. Seokjin leaned in toward his ear, and huskily whispered, “I love you.”
They both seemed to still, unsure of what to do in the wake of words so easily said. Jungkook felt as though he had just disassociated, perhaps heard him wrong, or had accidentally fallen asleep and come to himself in a lovely dream.
Seokjin’s pout somehow managed to get even deeper, and his brows furrowed, as though he was trying to remember something.
“Hyung..”
A brief, jolting knock on the door caused them both to jump, a male nurse with a mask on looking at them both with confusion. “Oh, sorry to interrupt, I–”
“No, not at all!” Jungkook laughed, tumbling to the floor clumsily, throwing Seokjin’s hands away in his embarrassment and shame for hoping, or even pretending for a moment, that things were that simple. “He’s being weird because of the anesthesia, I think..”
The nurse didn’t seem to believe him, or else didn’t care, as he just led a wheelchair into the room and turned away from Jungkook entirely. “Well, Seokjin, I’ve got your clothes here for you to change into.”
“Wha-?” Seokjin was looking down at his lap and pouting like he had had something awful spilled into his lap. He blinked up at the nurse.
“Let’s get you changed Seokjin, okay?”
The nurse stepped forward and Seokjin sat upright, letting the hospital gown be lifted up and away. Seokjin was unsteady, holding onto one of the bed railings as the nurse started to roll the bedding away. His chest and shoulders bare, his eyes bleary, and the sight of the bandages where there were now three holes in his hyung from surgery - it all became too much to handle.
“Oh, I’ll be right outside, hyung,” he breathily gasped, turning and clumsily stumbling his way out of the door and letting it close behind him. His chest seemed to have a permanent fluttering going on in it, and he forced himself to take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Seokjin lies when he’s drunk. He repeated the phrase over and over again in his head, trying to rid himself of any hope. It took a moment before Jungkook realized he could hear their conversation inside, though it was a bit muffled by the door.
“Was that your boyfriend, then?” the nurse queried.
“Huh?” Seokjin sounded confused. “I don’t have a boyfren’.”
“Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. Just a friend then? Is he here to take you home?”
“No, it’s okay. We’re bes’ friends. I love him.”
“Yeah?” the nurse said with a chuckle.
“I mean, uh..” He imagined Seokjin shaking his head, trying to clear it from the drowsiness. “Yeah, he came to drive me home.”
“That’s good. Here, step in.” A pause, and Jungkook avoided the gaze of another nurse that passed him in the hallway with a sidelong glance. “There, you’re good to go now!”
Jungkook took in another deep breath before stepping back inside. Seokjin was looking soft in the oversized T-shirt he had worn a couple of days before, one of Jungkook’s favorites. White with a large blue fish drawn on it and the words SUPER TUNA. A loose-fit pair of jean overalls hung on his thin frame, and he was looking much more like himself again as he sat in the wheelchair, ready to go.
Seokjin looked up, his smile like that of a thousand suns. “Jungkook! You’re here! You missed me getting naked .” He squeaked in laughter, slapping his own thigh lightly.
He smiled back at his hyung, rolling his eyes a little. “I’ve been here the whole time, you know.”
This seemed to catch Seokjin a little off-guard, and his mouth hung a little agape.
“I mean, outside,” Jungkook amended. He was just digging his hole even deeper, wasn’t he? Seokjin stared at him even as they started the trek down the hall and to the elevator. As they waited for the telltale ding of the doors opening, Seokjin reached out and took a hold of Jungkook’s sweatshirt between his long fingers.
Jungkook finally looked down at him, seeing the plush lips pursed, the brow furrowed again as Seokjin blinked slowly. He looked worn out.
“Jungkoo.”
“I’m right here, hyung,” he reassured. “We’ll be back at your house soon so you can rest.” Seokjin gave a slight nod, but continued to cling to him so cutely that Jungkook couldn’t bear to move away. So Jungkook awkwardly led the way into the elevator whilst standing close enough that Seokjin could still hold onto his sweatshirt. He felt the tug on the sleeve physically, and the tug on his heart in a much deeper place. He felt so bashful at the endearing sleepiness that he could not stand to even glance at Seokjin or the nurse until after they passed the front desk. The nurse wished him well, waving and walking back toward the elevators. Unsure, Jungkook tried to step behind the wheelchair to push it outside and the rest of the way to the car, but Seokjin stood up with a groan, his hand on the sweater now a grip around Jungkook’s wrist. Seokjin seemed to be spacing out, and they remained standing there for a long moment, unmoving. People walked past them, phones rang, and voices rang out. The front doors opened and shut to allow several people through. But still, they remained standing there, with Seokjin holding onto his wrist and blinking lazily.
“Hyung?” he asked, licking his lips nervously, and this seemed to wake Seokjin and get him moving. Worriedly, Jungkook hovered around Seokjin as they walked carefully to the car. The clouds had darkened, casting the world in a haze. The smell of a storm was more intense now. His hand still tingled where Seokjin had been practically crushing it, and the spot on his forehead that had been kissed still felt the tickling brush of soft lips. They were silent as they got into the car - the only sound the groan of the car seats and a low hiss Seokjin let out as he buckled in. Without another word, Jungkook pulled out of the parking lot, a couple of raindrops smacking into the front windshield. He drove as carefully as he could so as not to jostle his precious cargo. They pulled up to the drive-thru, and Jungkook finally chanced a glance over at his passenger to see that the man’s eyes had fluttered shut. He looked exhausted - probably due to the meds and the physical exhaustion from the surgery. Tentatively, he reached up and gave Seokjin’s bicep a squeeze, silently apologizing for… he didn’t know what, exactly. The movement seemed to wake Seokjin abruptly, and he sucked in a breath when he met Jungkook’s eyes.
“Jungkook,” was all he said this time, surprised and then smiling softly.
“You want a milkshake?” he asked, quieter than he had meant to sound. Seokjin nodded, and a couple of minutes later they were pulling onto the road to Seokjin’s house. His hyung sipped messily at his shake, spilling some on his T-shirt from the drowsiness.
“What did I say?” Seokjin asked in a low voice, sounding much clearer than he had earlier.
“Hm?” Jungkook glanced over at him, and saw Seokjin with a crumpled brow and a frown dragging down the sides of his cheeks.
“I can’t remember.. But I think I said something… something I shouldn’t’ve..”
Jungkook’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, turning his knuckles white. He did his best to keep his voice neutral-sounding as he said, “I can’t think of anything in particular. Though you did get flirty with the nurses.”
Seokjin’s head bobbed down in a quick movement, as though he had almost fallen asleep. The milkshake he had tucked between his thighs was melting, forgotten for the moment. “No, I said something. Crap..”
“You’re fine, hyung. It’s just the anesthetics talking,” he chirruped, even as his heart sank at the confirmation that Seokjin hadn’t meant what he’d said.
“No, no..” Seokjin growled a little in frustration. He squinted over at Jungkook, who was focusing on pulling into the small driveway in front of Seokjin’s house and did not return the look. Craning his body around so he could back in, Jungkook automatically lifted a hand to place it against Seokjin’s headrest. He looked out the back window, parking in one slow, smooth movement.
“Okay, we’re home,” he started to say, but was halted by the wide eyes of Seokjin staring at him with his mouth open in shock. Jungkook put the car into park with a little jolt of the vehicle and stared back. “Wh-what?”
“Oh craaap ,” Seokjin groaned, His hands came up to either side of his cheeks, and he squeezed at his own cheeks with a horrified expression. “I didn’t..”
Jungkook bit his lip, trying to hold back a nervous smile, which apparently indicated a confirmation from Seokjin, who let out a loud groan.
“Crap, did I ask you out on a date?”
Blinking in confusion, Jungkook shook his head in the negative. “Uh.. no?”
“Wait, I didn’t!? Oh thank god.” Seokjin dropped a hand to his chest, flopping back against the seat. “Then what did I say?”
“Um..”
“‘ Um’, you say?” Seokjin leaned in close, gripping Jungkook by the front of his hoodie. With his hand still on the back of Seokjin’s headrest, he was facing directly into Seokjin’s eyes and way closer than they normally were. He could practically count Seokjin’s eyelashes, which was a devious distraction on behalf of his brain from the murderously panicked look on his hyung’s face. “What does ‘um’ mean?! Are you making fun of me?”
“What? No! I’m just–”
“ What did I say!? ”
“It’s fine! You didn’t mean it!” Jungkook squeaked out, feeling goosebumps on his arms when Seokjin pouted his lips. “Yo-You just said you love me, that’s all..”
Seokjin didn’t move a muscle for a long second, didn’t blink, didn’t breathe . Then his head did the slight bobbing thing again, as though sleep was trying to shut down the whole system in an emergency exit. He shook himself, then frowned again.
“Oh.”
He let go of Jungkook’s hoodie, sitting back. Jungkook took in a breath, fiddling with the edges of the steering wheel. They avoided each other’s eyes, but neither made a move to exit the vehicle. It was painful, to see him so upset. It was hard, to know that it had not only been a stupid mistake, but also something Seokjin was embarrassed about. He let out a sigh, feeling tears starting to prick at his eyes. Despite the sunshine that had spilled in through the windows earlier, a couple of raindrops plopped heavily against the windshield, making decisive thunk sounds.
“It’s okay,” Jungkook spoke quickly to avoid his voice giving him away. “I know you didn’t mean it, at least not that way, of course.” He let out a weak laugh that just made him sound pathetic, still not daring to look over and meet Seokjin’s eyes.
A long moment, as the thunk thunk thunk s increased into a gradual thrum . Thunder rolled as Seokjin mumbled something under his breath. Without thinking, Jungkook’s eyes flickered over, and he asked him what he had said.
Seokjin’s jaw was set, a little shade of red around his eyes, and his voice sounded wobbly. “I said , w-what if I did ?”
He should have had a comeback, a response prepared. But a sudden flash and then the rain started to roar, and in Jungkook’s panic he convinced himself that he must have misheard him. His mouth agape, he felt every hair on his body standing up. No, he’s still on drugs, you dumbass .
A shocked, stupid smile came to his face, and he placed a hand next to his ear. “What was that?” he practically yelled over the sound of the rain, hoping it would cover up the edge to his voice. “Let’s get inside!”
But Seokjin blinked at him in surprise, and Jungkook realized that tears were running down both his own cheeks. Flushing with shame, his heart about thudded out of his chest and onto the center console - or it might as well have, because that was how exposed he had just made himself.
“Wait, Jungkook,” Seokjin started, brow furrowing as he started to lift one hand, to reach out toward Jungkook. “D-”
“C-Can’t hear you, hyung!” he practically screamed with a smile stuck on his face, even though they were practically right next to each other. If Seokjin really did understand now, of all the dumb times, then there was a chance he was going to start pitying him, and he couldn’t handle that right now. He wouldn’t be able to recover from his heartbreak, because Seokjin was his best friend and would of course want to be there to comfort him in such a scenario. But he couldn’t . It would hurt too much.
So Jungkook threw the car door open, threw himself out into the rain, and started bolting across the front yard. He heard his name being called, heard the trilling shout to stop, but he kept going. He realized after a half a second that his house was the other direction, so he circled around the back of the car, trying to give it a wide berth so he could run home.
“Jungkook!” yelled Seokjin, the thunder rumbling along with his voice. He almost made his escape, but then a hand snatched his hoodie. Before he knew what was happening, Jungkook’s neck had been tugged back, causing him to trip on the damp grass, which in turn dragged Seokjin down on top of him as they both fell heavily.
Shame and bits of grass surrounded Jungkook like a cloud. Jungkook let out a long, defeated sigh, his stomach sore from how it had crushed against the ground.
“Don’t you dare try to run again, or I’ll kill you,” Seokjin groaned, his hand still firmly clutched in Jungkook’s hoodie. “Where the hell do you think you’re going, huh? I can’t run after you, you know. Jesus.” He continued to complain in a thin, shrill voice as they sat up. He was clutching his side with his other hand, his hair flattened against his head and rain splattered against his cheeks. Jungkook pouted, but bit back any complaints he might have spoken when he saw how pale his hyung looked. This was all because of his own unrequited feelings. His hyung had needed his help and understanding today - this wasn’t just irresponsible of him, it was cruel. But how was he supposed to face Seokjin now? Jungkook grunted, wiping a hand across his face and sniffled, feeling like a moron.
“Sorry,” mumbled Jungkook. “I just..”
“Are you upset because I said I like you?” demanded his senior, eyes locked in.
“Well,” Jungkook’s voice trembled. “No, not–
“Are you upset because you don’t like me back?”
“No! I-!”
“ Do you like me back?” pressed Seokjin, his hands in a fist where they held onto Jungkook’s hoodie, as though worried he was going to make another run for it. Jungkook stared, bit at his lip, tongue twisting at his lip piercing, then swallowed.
“Yes,” he said with a quick nod. “I like you, hyung.”
Seokjin stilled, his grip starting to relax, and an incredulous expression started to develop across his features. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
Without a thought, Jungkook animatedly shook his head in a fervent negative. “I…Hyung I’m in love with you.”
The two of them stared at each other, pelted by the fat droplets that still pored from the sky. Jungkook’s shirt was sticking to his skin, and Seokjin’s bangs were flattened down and poking into his eyes. A little bit of water trickled off the cliff of Seokjin’s thick lower lip, eyes wide with incredulity.
“How long? When were you planning on letting me know?” pressed his hyung. Jungkook’s eye caught on the way Seokjin’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. When Jungkook became so enthralled that he forgot to answer, Seokjin grabbed his hoodie and weakly shook it up and down. “ Jungkook !”
“Forever!” squeaked Jungkook, “And this weekend!”
Another flash of lightning, illuminating the soft brown eyes and the surprised expression just before Seokjin started to laugh. He also seemed to be crying, too, and this threw Jungkook for the nth loop of the day.
“M-maybe,” Jungkook amended guiltily. “I was gonna tell you when we were out camping, but you got sick. But honestly, I’ve planned on telling you like a million times.”
Seokjin only laughed harder, grimacing as he held his stomach and swore under his breath. When Jungkook moved forward protectively, trying to lead him toward the house, Seokjin just shook his head and grabbed both sides of Jungkook’s face, muttering in disbelief, “You’re such an idiot. A moron, really. The dumbest boy I’ve ever met..”
Frowning, Jungkook didn’t know what to do, but instinctively he opened his mouth to argue back in his own defense and call Seokjin just as dumb but was cut off by Seokjin’s beautiful mouth crashing into his own. Their teeth clacked against each other awkwardly as Seokjin tilted Jungkook’s head a little to the side so they could slot together, thunder rumbling across the neighborhood and trembling through their bodies.
He’s right. I’m the dumbest boy. Jungkook thought with crazed realization, as Seokjin smiled into the kiss and clung to him firmly. Jungkook’s shoulder pressed into the edge of the roof of the car, but he didn’t care. The soft, funny mouth he loved so much was finally kissing him back, so nothing else mattered.
But he’s the dumbest boy, too.
Reluctantly he broke away because he couldn’t breathe, looking into Seokjin’s eyes and asking himself if this was real.
“I’m not dreaming, right?” gasped Seokjin, his eyes fluttering heavily. He leaned up against Jungkook, leaning on him - and of course Jungkook was there to catch him easily. “I’m so tired..”
“I’ve got you, hyung.” Jungkook’s voice was breathy and soft. If Seokjin had asked him to lift the entire car, he felt that in that moment he would have been able to do it with ease. Carefully he lifted them both from the muddy ground. “And you’re not dreaming.. I like you. I like you, Seokjin-hyung..”
Seokjin let his eyes close, still stumbling along with his arms around Jungkook. “Ah, my cute little Jungkookie. Thank god you didn’t get away.”
“Thank god you’re so honest when you’re doped up,” Jungkook teased. They stumbled awkwardly into the door, and then both of them landed on the couch still wrapped together.
“You’re getting dirt on the couch,” Seokjin pouted. “We should get cleaned up.”
Dutifully, Jungkook attempted to stand up, but Seokjin stubbornly clung to him, yanking him back down again. Jungkook chuckled.
“I can’t get cleaned up if you don’t let me go, hyung.”
A sound of disgust from Seokjin, then silence. He would give him another two minutes. As their wet clothes squelched between them, the mud on Jungkook’s neck started to dry. Jungkook closed his eyes, shyly allowing himself to really hold Seokjin in his arms for a moment, squeezing his shoulders tightly and burying his nose in his hyung’s dripping hair. He smelled like the rain, and he felt like home.
“Stupid boy,” Seokjin muttered over his shoulder. “How dare you?”
Jungkook laughed.
After they had peeled themselves off the couch, they washed away the mud and grass. Jungkook rushed about collecting Seokjin blankets, pillows, water, snacks, and anything else he could think of that his hyung might need. By the time he finished building up the little nest, Seokjin had fallen asleep with a sweet expression across soft cheeks, a slight flush to his cheeks. Tenderly, Jungkook sat on the floor next to the couch and let him sleep with an abandon he never thought he could experience. Touch was no longer taboo, gentle caresses were welcome and made eyelashes flutter and lips smile. He reached out and tucked Seokjin’s hands against the warmth of his neck until the chill left the fingertips.
When Seokjin finally awoke, it was with a sudden inhale like he had heard someone calling his name. Jungkook looked up from the ramen he was setting to steam on the coffee table and gave him a shy smile.
“Jungkook,” Seokjin chuckled. He searched the younger’s face for a moment. His eyes were so much clearer now, and no longer with that endearing and goofy-looking cross-eyedness, but he looked worried.
“Hi,” Jungkook whispered, and held the knobby-fingered hand against his cheek, touching each knuckle to his skin. He felt suddenly too warm in his sweater. “Not a dream now, either.”
Tentatively, he leaned down and dropped a kiss to the forehead, then the tip of the nose, then the lips, trying hard not to move too much and disturb his hyung’s recovery. Seokjin sighed, then chuckled at his ministrations.
“ Now can we just stay here and cuddle?” was all he asked.
Jungkook giggled, scrunching his nose in happiness. “Of course, hyungie. As much as you want.”