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Tonight was getting pretty noisy.
Clione was quietly drinking some kind of liquor while watching Penguin having a heated discussion with the Massacre Soldier at a meeting of the "idiot captain's first mate club." And you may be wondering, what the hell was Clione doing there if he wasn't a first mate, and didn't consider his captain to be an idiot? You see, it's a funny story.
It turns out that after the battle at Onigashima, Zoro and Killer observed their captains doing "something" that perplexed them and encouraged them to create the club. To this day they still refuse to talk about what they saw because they like to make fun of the fact that they were there and the rest were not, although they use the excuse that they had an obligation to protect the reputation of their respective captains. Soon after, when it so happened that the three crews happened to coincide on an island, and since they remembered that Law also participated in whatever happened on the roof of the giant skull, they felt that Bepo also deserved to be in the club.
However, neither Zoro nor Killer knew that Bepo joined at the same time as Shachi and Penguin and the bear brought them with him. So the two of them felt it was unfair for the Heart Pirates to have more representation in their club than themselves.
At the next meeting, Killer brought Heat and Wire, while Zoro invited everyone who joined Mugiwara in the East Blue. Then the numbers were again unequal so more and more people from the three groups gradually joined.
And there they were, on the same island and in the same bar, six representatives of the Kid Pirates and seven members of Heart Pirates and Mugiwara's crew, a club to blow off steam about what idiots their respective captains were, while said captains would surely be arguing intensely somewhere on the island about something that surely none of the three really cared about. Oh, and they were also speculating who the next addition might be. Clione's preference was for Pomp to come, he liked the helmet.
He - and surely everyone else -, knew that the number of members was getting dangerously suspicious. He didn't know the other two captains well beyond the outpourings of their crews, but as for his own captain, Clione firmly believed that the only reason Law hadn't discovered it yet was because the moment he saw Eustass and Mugiwara, half his brain cells decided they didn't want to deal with the two of them together and hid deep in the recesses of his mind.
Well, back to the conflict.
Making a quick summary, Quincy and Nami were recounting with some fondness how they had trouble on their last trip because "someone" loved to get into unnecessary trouble in a very impulsive and stupid way and that afterwards they had to be the ones to clean up their messes. Instead, Ikkaku explained that they had no problems on that issue because Law would rather plan his steps and have like twenty backup plans.
Then, the Heart Pirates received some teasing (or praise, depending on how you look at it) because apparently, taking care of 'Trafalgar' or 'Torao' seemed too easy. And not just because of the problem of causing trouble, but in everything in general.
And so we arrived at this situation.
As if it were a battle, the attention was divided in several francs, but Clione, as a cook, was more interested in the fight that was taking place right in front of him on the subject of which he was an expert: Food.
Killer and Penguin, seemingly calm and collected men, were arguing as if the souls of Kid and Law had possessed them. Surely the effects of alcohol also helped this situation, but it was amusing nonetheless. Next to them, Sanji simply smoked, waiting for them to calm down.
"Excuse me, feeding who is easy?" Penguin said raising his voice and banging on the table.
"Oh come on, Peng." Scoffed the slaughtering Soldier half unintentionally chuckling. "I can't see Trafalgar eating what ten people would eat at every meal nor having six meals in a day."
Well, he was right, that was something neither of them could argue with, Penguin wasn't the clearest mind at the moment and didn't know how to counter that, so he grunted and said, "Don't push your luck, Kill."
Really, the most surprising thing about that situation was the familiarity with which the two of them spoke to each other. Clione wondered what could have happened in the meetings he wasn't at to bring them to that level of comfort.
"I really don't understand this conflict" Sanji expressed, interrupting them. "Isn't it good that Torao doesn't cause so much trouble, why are you guys so defensive about it?"
"It's not that simple." Penguin muttered.
Clione nodded his head and rested his hand on his nakama's shoulder because it looked like he would collapse at any moment.
He also made a mental note not to let him drink so much in those meetings.
Although, surely more than once he would have lost control before he was invited, so he'd better not do anything.
"Whatever you say, Peng." Killer scoffed. "Come on, it even looks like your nakama agrees with us."
Well, it was true that Clione hadn't said much in that conversation, and that on other topics he even agreed with his rivals, but not on this one.
"As far as I'm concerned, you've only given arguments that it's easier to feed Eustass and Mugiwara, so I didn't have to say anything." He scoffed. Penguin laughed a little even though he had his cheek pressed against the table at the time.
Killer snorted and Sanji looked at him amused.
"I have to say I've cooked for Torao, and even if he's a little picky, I doubt it's any harder to feed him than Luffy." Sanji spoke up and took a short drag on his cigarette as he smiled teasingly. "And I have to add, your captain is the only one I can imagine cooking something without spoiling half or all of the food supply."
"Or burning down the kitchen," Killer added with a shudder.
"Lucky it was just the kitchen."
"Well. On that I can't argue. Law doesn't cook well and never cared about taste, only about nutrients that would be necessary for the body, but it's true that he's capable of not destroying anything in the attempt." Clione conceded without losing his smile.
"In that case, I doubt you can win this. Just admit once and for all that you have the easy captain to take care of." Sanji scoffed.
"Your captain doesn't forget to eat, does he? Then it's easy to feed him, you just have to cook more" Clione blurted out. His fellow cook's eyes opened wide, remembering something. Clione could guess what it was quite accurately.
He didn't know what state his captain would have been in when he allied himself with Mugiwara's crew, but considering his history, he'd probably be too thin and it would be something any cook would notice.
Clione didn't want to reveal too much information, and it seemed that in that regard he was a bit lucky because at least Sanji seemed to pick up on it quickly without the need for hints. Still, he didn't avert his steady gaze to the cook. Maybe it was the effects of the alcohol kicking in as well or the odd thought that he felt strangely safe with his allies, but he was becoming emotional with a flood of pent up thoughts that he still didn't want to let out.
Do you know what it feels like when your captain is so stressed out that he refuses to eat and can't sleep? Do you know how painful it is that even though one of them has a giant scar on his torso, another is missing an arm, but yet Law seems the least healthy of the three? And that when he was finally gaining a reasonable amount of fat and muscle mass, suddenly a Yonko crosses his face?
"Do you waste a lot of food?" Sanji asked arching an eyebrow.
"No, I don't do fixed portions, we just make a large amount and everyone serves what they want, whatever is left over we use at the next meal." He explained, which made the cook relax.
"Can't you guys just force him?" Killer asked. The little chuckle that came out of Penguin answered for him.
Clione knew they had won this argument. Sanji and Killer would a thousand times rather have their captains eat what they wanted than let them not eat enough.
"When I see Torao next time, I'll make him swallow half his weight in food." Sanji said, giving him a small pat on the back.
"Good luck with that, the damn man can teleport." Penguin muttered in place.
"Good luck with keeping our captains away too. Surely the Kid would have eaten half of that before Trafalgar swallowed the first bite." said Killer, giving up.
Clione smiled.
"By the way Kill, bring Papas next time." Penguin said. "I like the hood."
"Fuck, I'd prefer Pomp."
And they changed the subject about who should be the next guest. Sanji simply said that any of the girls would be fine.
....
"What do they mean you forget to eat, Torao, it's impossible for someone to forget to eat!"
"It was just a weird way of talking you have.... I'm just not hungry." He sighed deeply.
"I wouldn't eat your horrible food." Kid growled next to the other two captains. "And what the hell is this weird club?"
"Let them, it's not that easy to put up with you, Eustass-ya. I understand that anyone would need a break from you."
"Don't forget your crew is here too, Trafalgar."
"What does that matter? They can do what they want! Let's take Torao to lunch!"