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FFXV Reverse Bang 2022
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Published:
2023-02-09
Words:
3,045
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
37
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360

Not Yours To Carry

Summary:

“Thought I had a choice earlier.”

“Falling asleep while I’m talking to you has consequences. Tell Prompto I’ll call him later while you’re there.”

What the hell? “If Prompto’s there then why do you need me to go?”

“Heavy lifting. Also, he confided to me that you’ve been avoiding him lately.”

“I haven’t.” It was a lie, and Ignis probably knew it.

Notes:

Written for the FFXV reverse bang with AMAZING art by https://twitter.com/milomakesart ❤️

Work Text:

“Gladio.  Gladio.  Gladiolus.”

“Yeah that sounds great.”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture Gladio was all to familiar with.  He rubbed a hand over his face, reaching for his cup of coffee and finding it nearly empty.  Damn.

“I asked if you wanted to help me get things filed here or if you wanted to check on the apartments and see if anyone needs a hand.  Are you unwell?”  Ignis tilted his head and Gladio could’ve sworn he could actually see him.  He averted his eyes anyway.

“I’m fine, Iggy.  Don’t worry.  Eos knows you’ve got enough on your plate right now.”

“Not so much that I can’t spare concern for my friend.”  Ignis put down his recorder, showing that Gladio had his full attention.  “You sound and if I heard correctly you’ve made two trips to my coffee machine so far.”

“Just been busy, Igs.  Like you.”

“Like me.  Yes, I suppose.  The group meetings, they do help, you know.”

“I don’t need them.”

“Gladio, I miss him too.  Terribly so.”

He couldn’t argue it but he wouldn’t acknowledge it either.  They all lost a friend but Gladio couldn’t protect him.

“About the filing…” He didn’t want to do this now.  Not ever if he had his way.  

“Hm.  No.  I think you should head to the apartments.  I can handle things here today.”

“Thought I had a choice earlier.”

“Falling asleep while I’m talking to you has consequences.  Tell Prompto I’ll call him later while you’re there.”

What the hell?  “If Prompto’s there then why do you need me to go?”

“Heavy lifting.  Also, he confided to me that you’ve been avoiding him lately.”

“I haven’t.”  It was a lie, and Ignis probably knew it.  “I just haven’t gotten out much.”  That was true.  Gladio could possibly convince Ignis that he wasn’t specifically avoiding Prompto.

Even if he was. 

Ignis was silent for a moment.  Gladio resisted the urge to move.  At long last Ignis turned his chair away.

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.  You can reassure him and help out.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“That’s not ominous at all.”

“Sorry?”  Ignis put a hand to his ear as if he didn’t hear him.  Gladio knew better.

“Nothing, Igs.  Call me if you need me.”  Gladio grumbled as he got up and made his way out.

It was a decent walk to get to the housing area, one that Gladio wouldn’t mind once upon a time.  Now though, the walk reminded him of what used to be here, who used to be here.  He hasn’t been sleeping, not enough to function at his best.  When he does fall asleep, usually with the assistance of a pill or a bottle, the nightmares come.

Last night was one of his usuals.  The dream started with the four of them camping.  Gladio heard a noise and spun around to check for anything and when he turned back the camp had transformed into the Citadel where his friends were killed one by one by Ifrit.  The fire reached him just as he woke up.

The nightmares in which they all died Gladio was always the last to perish.

He shook it off, focusing on the people ahead.  They were looking at a blueprint, from what Gladio could tell.  Prompto joined them suddenly and Gladio stopped.

Gladio had given up when Noctis was taken by the Crystal.  He accepted life in the dark and distanced himself from his friends, from anything that reminded him of who he was supposed to be.  He met a nice woman, proposed, did the best he could.  Then Noctis returned just like Prompto and Ignis knew he would.

Losing Noctis the second time had been harder.  Once again Gladio had been powerless.  He couldn’t go back to the lie.  Gladio called off the engagement and settled back into Insomnia, hoping that restoring it would bring some penance to his failure as a Shield.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t bring himself to be around his friends like once upon a time.  Ignis was a little easier, the two focusing on things that needed to be done.  He was quiet, hard working, and did what Ignis did best—gave out orders for Gladio to follow.  Besides the occasional invitation to go to a grieving group, they went their separate ways at the end of the day.

It was more difficult with Prompto.  During their travels there had been more than a few lingering touches and stares that were just long enough to make Gladio. concerned.  Gladio didn’t do relationships and he didn’t fuck his friends.  However, Prompto had been fun to tease and it was easy feel comfortable around him.  Somewhere along the line Gladio had become too comfortable.  He’d had the thought that maybe he wanted something more than a casual fling and that he wanted it with Prompto.

It made everything after Altissia even worse.  He couldn’t fall like that again, not to someone so bright and good.  Gladio didn’t deserve to love Noctis’s best friend.  That was why he’d been avoiding Prompto. 

And would continue to do so.

Gladio spun around and walked home.  

Gladio woke up mid fall from his couch.  He caught himself, palm on the floor and his nose inches from his coffee table.  Noctis had been the one falling in his dream.

He pushed himself up, registering the sound of knocking.  Probably Ignis to chew him out over cutting out of work.

“Iggy, I’m not in the mood.”  Gladio gruffed out midway through opening the door.  It was shoved back and hit him in the nose.  “What the hell?!”

“I’m not in the mood either but this has gotta stop!”

Prompto was pissed.  His hair was ruffled and dusty as was the rest of him.  His brows knitted between his eyes and his bottom lip jutted out in a way Gladio thought about more times than he cared to recall.  When Prompto put his hands on his hips Gladio knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.  He continued to stand and stare, fingers pressed against his nose.  He considered his options, mentally deciphering the best course of action.

Play dumb and keep your distance.  

“Yeah, it does.”  Gladio sniffed and gingerly squeezed the bridge of his nose.  Painful, but not broken.  He dropped his hand.  “You can’t keep with these violent entries.”  He curved his lips into a smile, stomach turning like it always did when he acted like an ass to Prompto.

“They wouldn’t have to be violent if you’d, I don’t know, maybe have a fucking conversation with me?”

Prompto was out for blood.  Gladio’s smile fell.

“We’re conversing now.”

Prompto began to pace.  “You were supposed to help me today.  Ignis asked you to.  Ignis!  But guess where you weren’t.  And why?”  He halted abruptly, spinning to face Gladio once again.  “Listen, I don’t know what went wrong with our friendship.  I thought when…I thought we’d have a chance to fix us too while we rebuild Insomnia.”  Prompto deflated, gaze going to the floor.  “You wouldn’t even help to get people sheltered because you’d have to be around me.  What is the problem?”

If Gladio were younger he’d yell at Prompto to get out.  His anxiety and fear would’ve gotten the better of him and he’d panic and hurt Prompto to protect himself.    

“Noctis—“

“Is dead!”  Prompto looked at him with wide eyes, shocked at the truth somehow.  Then it transformed to a a face full of heartbreak.  “He’s dead, Gladio.  It’s not fair for you to blame him.”

“It’s not him I blame, dammit!  It’s me!

 Don’t you get it?  I was supposed to protect him with my life, Prompto.”

“You weren’t his only friend, Gladio, we were all there.”

“I was his only Shield!”

Prompto was stunned into silence.  Gladio thought it might’ve been from his yelling but he felt something drip off if his face.

“Gladio—“

“Just go, Prompto.”  He wiped his arm over his face.

“He wouldn’t want you to live like this.”  Gladio shook his head.  The thought of saying anything more threatened his eyes to water up.  “Me and Ignis, we don’t want you to live like this either.  This is a new start for all of us.  Plus, we’re kinda like, Noct’s legacy, right?  The way I see it, you’re not done protecting him.  He—“. Prompto choked up, clearing his throat.  “He sacrificed himself for this world.  We have to protect it or his death was in vain.”

Gladio didn’t look up at him.  The ground was turning blurry from tears and he kept his arm up to block Prompto’s view.  

“I can’t.  He should be here.  I shouldn’t.  That was supposed to be my life.”

Smack!

The sudden sting on his arm shocked Gladio into dropping his arm.  Prompto’s eyes were cold but his cheeks were red.

“If you died Noctis would’ve still had to die.  If not, all of us would be dead.  And even though you’ve been a complete asshole, I’m glad you’re here, you stupid jerk!”  Prompto opened the door to leave.  “I wish he was here too but at least he left the three of us together.”  The door slammed shut and for the first time in a long time, Gladio let himself cry.

The daemons kept coming.  Gladio was covered in dirt, sweat, and black ooze.  His body felt numb as his sword sliced through another monster.  His hair was soaked and swung heavy around his head as he searched for his next attacker.  There was a disturbance behind him.  Gladio spun and thrust.

Noctis.

Noctis, young and barefaced with Gladio’s sword in his chest.

“No!  Noct!”  He let go, the weapon dematerializing as Noctis collapsed.  

Gladio went to the body, desperate to save Noctis but it was Prompto who laid dead before him.  Prompto as he was now, a few wrinkles around his eyes and blood staining his goatee.  

When he looked up he was met with countless human corpses, all slain by him.

Gladio woke abruptly and hurried to his bathroom to throw up.

 

That nightmare stayed with Gladio the rest of the week.  He didn’t go to work and ignored Ignis’s calls.  His mornings were for catching up on lost sleep during the night by cat napping an hour or two and working out in between.  Gladio worked around his house trying to fix things up that he’d been procrastinating on just so he wouldn’t think about Prompto’s lifeless face.  

Prompto didn’t come back.  Ignis didn’t mention him in the messages Gladio left on read either.

He missed them.  Gladio missed the days where he’d train with Ignis and make fun of his hair.  He missed going on runs with Prompto and teaming up with him to pull pranks.  He missed Noctis, the one who brought them all together.  

Gladio couldn’t live like this anymore.  He didn’t want to.  He found himself standing awkwardly just inside the door to an old library.  Shelves were half stocked, burn marks colored the walls in places, and in the center of an empty area that once held the new releases were chairs arranged in a circle.  The only empty one was next to Ignis.

“Gladio?  You finally came?”

“How’d you know it was me?”

“I’d know your footsteps anywhere.”  Ignis pat the empty seat.  “I’ve saved you a spot.”

“How’d you know I was coming tonight?”  Gladio ignored the stares and he dropped down next to Ignis.

“I didn’t.  I always save you a seat, just in case.”

Gladio felt guilty and relieved at the same time.  Ignis never gave up on him.  He was lucky to have a friend like him.  “I’m sorry I made you wait.”

“Don’t apologize to me.  It’s you that you made wait.”

The nightmares didn’t go away completely, but they came less often.

Gladio ran a hand through his freshly cut hair.  Ignis had spouted off something about the symbology of Gladio restarting his life but he told him it was just easier to take care of.  It wasn’t untrue but Ignis saw through him anyway and told him to tell Prompto hello. 

A month had passed since their confrontation at Gladio’s place.  Prompto had volunteered for a clean up job in Galdin Quay the day after the fight.  Gladio wasn’t sure how this would go down but he had to try.

Prompto’s place looked similar to his own.  A small house that had seen better days.  When Gladio knocked on the door he swore the house shook with it.  

Fragile.  Everything and everyone left was fragile in a way.  But not too broken they couldn’t heal.

Ignis would’ve been proud of that one.

When Prompto answered the door he didn’t speak.  He sighed, as if he didn’t have the energy to care, and stepped aside.

“It’s late.”

“It’s 7.”  Gladio untied his boots and set them next to the door.

“Late enough.”  Must’ve been.  Prompto was in a tank top and plaid pajama pants.  He definitely wasn’t going out anytime soon.  “You cut your hair.”

“Lady down the street cut it.”

Prompto’s eyes narrowed.  “I’m sure she did.  What do you want?”

“I’m sorry.”  

Prompto raised a brow.  “For what?  Being a dick?”

“For pushing you away after Noctis was taken in the crystal.  No, before that even.  Leaving you guys when I was dealing with my issues.  Treating you horribly on the train.”  There was a lot to apologize for.  Gladio ran through them all on the way over but to speak them out loud?  To Prompto?  He was getting jumbled and nervous.  “And also for avoiding you after coming back home.”

Both of Prompto’s eyebrows were raised now.  “What brought this on?  Did Ignis threaten you while I was gone?”

“No.  Well, yeah, he did, actually.  But that’s not why I’m here.  I started going to that grief group and it’s helped.  I was having nightmares pretty frequently.  The guilt was eating at me so bad.  It’s still there.”  Gladio touched his chest.  “I’m working on it though.  As well as recognizing when to ask for help and knowing I have people I can lean on when it becomes too…much.”

“And if I don’t accept your apology?”

“I continue to give you space and keep working on myself.”

Prompto jerked his head and walked further inside.  Gladio followed until they both sat on Prompto’s lumpy couch.

“What happens if I do accept your apology. Where do we go from here?  Because all those things you said were true, but I can’t get past one thing.  You didn’t ignore Ignis when we came back.  Maybe it would’ve hurt less if you cut us both off like you did before.  Why just me this time, big guy?”

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about that yet, Prom.”

“Tough shit.  You want forgiveness?  I want an answer.  A true answer, just to clarify.”

Gladio took a deep breath.  “Because…fuck.  Because if things hadn’t gone to shit I would’ve fallen in love with you.”

“I said the truth—“

“It is.”  Gladio angled toward him.  “I was falling and it was scary and exciting.  I didn’t want to the chance to fall again.  You deserve better.  All I hope for is your friendship.  That’s even more than I should ask for but I’m being selfish anyway.  Can we start over, Prompto?”

Arms were around him, too fast for Gladio to react.  Prompto was obviously crying, his shoulders shaking, even though he tried to hide it.  Gladio didn’t bother wiping his own tears away as he hugged him back.

“I forgive you.”  The words were muffled against his shirt but they still made Gladio relax some.  “It’s about time you got out of that funk.”  When Prompto pulled away and looked up at him he was smiling despite the wet face and snot peeking out of his nose.  “I wanna be friends again.  And if it ever turns into something more then whatever happens happens.  You weren’t the only one with a crush back then, dude.”

“Is that so?”

“Shut up.”  Prompto sniffed and stood up.  “I found some old movies and I finally got that player working.  Go get us some snacks, we’re making up for lost time, bud.”

“Yes sir.”

The citadel.  Dawn.  Sadness clung to Gladio like a weight as he made his way out, the Sword of the Father in his hand.  Insomnia was ruined, the smell of death was everywhere.  Gladio couldn’t walk anymore.  He sat on the steps, the sword held in front of him.  He stared at it hoping for answers.  Surely this weapon was a key to bringing Noctis back.  Noctis couldn’t really be gone for good this time.

The sun on his back told him differently.

“This won’t do.”  A hand came into view.  Noctis, older, wiser, grabbed the hilt and took it from Gladio.  “This is not yours to carry, Gladio.”  The sword disappeared, returning to the armiger.  “It was never meant for you.”

“Noctis.  Noctis, I’m so sorry.”

“I am too.  You’ll be okay though, won’t you?” 

“We will.”  Gladio stood and saluted.  

Noctis grinned.  “We?  Good.  Don’t forget that part.  You’re not alone.”

“Never again, my king.  I’ll protect what you saved.”

Noctis nodded, pleased.  “Be at peace, Gladio.”

Gladio woke up gently.  He was warm on his left side and there was some tension in his neck, but it was the first time in a long time he felt so calm upon awakening.

Prompto was leaning against his side.  The movie, long since over, repeated the same few lines on the menu screen. 

“Prom?  Hey.”

Prompto stirred, mumbling something before sitting up and blinking at Gladio, confused.

“Gladio?”

“Yeah.  We crashed like losers.  Get to bed.”

Prompto snorted then looked at him warily.  “You leaving?  It’s the middle of the night…”

“Nah, I’ll stay.  I’ll be right on this couch when you wake up.  You might have to help me off of it.  Probably couldn’t leave if I tried.”

That earned him a laugh as Prompto got up.  “There’s an extra blanket and pillow in the hall closet.”

“Thanks.  Good night, Prompto.”

“G’night big guy.”

Gladio slept dream free and for once, he looked forward to a new morning.