1 - 20 of 53 Works in Accidental Tommy Acquisition

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    Summary

    “Stop talkin’,” Techno grunted, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

    They’d finally stopped crying, now staring at him fearfully. Or, the sparrow looked scared—the magpie just glared at him, a surprising amount of stubbornness on his tear-stained face, even as his brother tried to get in front of him, shield him as if that would do anything at all.

    Techno had expected more from the sons of the infamous Angel of Death. For all the noise they made, their size seemed unbecoming.

    They were tiny.

    ——

    Or, Technoblade’s a feared mercenary, not a babysitter, but his latest job to kidnap the Angel of Death's kids, Tommy and Wilbur, aims to prove him wrong. It’s a two week trip back to his employer, and worse than avoiding a Phil that is hellbent on revenge, he’s got to avoid getting attached to the little fledglings.

    (OR, THE WINGFIC AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,171
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    4
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    2,350
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  2. Tags
    Summary

    Tired of all the chores Phil piles onto them, Techno and Wilbur yearn for a little brother to push all their work onto.

    Lucky for them, there's a random baby in the middle of the forest with a box of matches.

    Perfect little brother material!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,711
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    876
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    6,394
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Techno,” Phil breathes out, letting go of Wilbur as he approaches the mer, “What was that?”

    Tehcno sighs, exposing Tommy to the new mer against his wishes. He freezes in place, unable to move as Phil lets out a soft croon, coming closer to him.

    “Oh— oh little one,” Phil croons out, his voice soft as Techno removes the hand from his back. Phil grabs him lightly, his touch gentle as he slowly pries him off of Techno’s tail.

    Or Wilbur finds a mer pup, Tommy, and decides to bring him back to his pod.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    2,038
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    294
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    21,213
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Mind if I sit next to you?” Tommy turned to see a tall, lanky man with a curly brown fringe covering half his face.

    Tommy looked back around the room. “Out of the whole temple, you wanna sit next to me?”

    The man nodded. “I like company when I pray.” Tommy tried not to twist his face into something wretched, so he just looked down and scooted over. The man slid over, holding his hand out. “I’m Wilbur.”

    Tommy did not take the hand. “Uh… Tommy.”

    Wilbur nodded, turning back to face the statue, a look of reverence on his face.

    //

    or, Tommy's village begins to be hit by supernatural plagues, and everyone begins to turn on Tommy... Well, that is except for four awaiting deities.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    31,527
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    224
    Kudos:
    1,753
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    323
    Hits:
    21,920
  5. Tags
    Summary

    They force a child out of the bag, and they whimper.

    Techno tries to keep his composure as the child cowers on themselves.

    “A child?.”

    “Not just any child.”

    “I don’t have-”

    Scared-help-hurt.

    Techno stills. Eyes wide.

    “A piglin child.”

     

    - Or the heroes try to use a child to make the Blood God talk, it doesn't go like they expect.

    Series
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    English
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    3,669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    4,386
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    456
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    38,001
  6. Tags
    Summary

    He felt The Something blow hot air on his head, goose-bumps tingling up Tommy’s neck.

    It chuffed into Tommy’s hair, “Runt..”

    “What..?” Tommy whimpered again, sniffling as he looked up in confusion.

    The Something had taken its skull mask off—it was a mask and not its actual face—and it looked.. cute?

    Tommy had gone to the town fair with his mother before. There they had all sorts of animals, and The Something looked just like the pig at the petting zoo!

    Tommy giggled, the fear quickly leaving him. The Something isn’t scary! It’s just a big piggy!

     

    Or

     

    (Tommy basically gets adopted by Monsters because his Mom is a piece of trash.)

    Language:
    English
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    3,215
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    2,094
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    219
    Hits:
    15,032
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Techno stumbles upon an orphaned mer pup whose pod was taken by the humans, and now this starved pup won't let him go because he's tiny and he's alone and he needs the comfort and really who is Techno to say no to fatherhood?

    Or mermaid dadnoblade

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,146
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    2,021
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    200
    Hits:
    17,213
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Tommy didn't mean to fly into…wherever this is.

    He's used to being a person with two arms and two legs and no membranes between his limbs. He's used to being tall and clean-shaven and human (or a vampire, now, he supposes, but that particular crisis has been put on the back burner and will remain there for the foreseeable future if it knows what's good for it).

    He’s not used to being three inches long, fuzzy, and a bat.

    Gods, he’s not used to being so hungry he can’t see straight, either, but hey he's already crash landed into some random house in the middle of nowhere. Why not?

    - or -

    Fledgling vampire Tommy gets trapped in his bat form while trying to escape Dream. Fortunately, he managed to crash land into the one house that could actually help him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,497
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    1,314
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    257
    Hits:
    8,711
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Tommy knew he was precious, that his powers were special, and that because of that, his life was always in danger. He didn't mind living at the facility if it meant helping the world, but the lady in his dream had promised him a family and love, something Tommy didn't know was possible. It was a silly idea to want to leave, but maybe it wasn't as crazy as Tommy always thought it was when three people crashed into his room.

    Maybe he didn't have to be alone anymore.

    ----------

    AKA I go back to my roots and write a superhero au with kid Tommy, villain SBI, and lots of fluff

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,605
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    1,807
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    259
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    12,146
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Excuse me… are you alright?” A voice asked, it was rough and they spoke as if they had not talked to anyone in years.

    Tommy jumped, turning his head so fast it hurt. It was a man. He was weird, with long blonde hair and a stupid green and white hat. Tommy’s nose scrunched up at the sight.

    He didn’t care much for what he wore but that?

    Tommy shook his head in disappointment, looking at the more eye-catching feature of the man.

    He had wings.

    Something in his brain screamed at that, downy fluff puffing up at the sight of such pristine and elegant wings. They were black, void coloured wings big enough to wrap all the way around Tommy and swallow him up in feathers.

    “I’m on an adventure.” Tommy sniffled, rubbing his left eye of tears, leaving his skin puffy and red.

    Tommy's Mama asked him to go on an adventure! After he lost his map, a very nice Avian offered to show him a shortcut through the forest, surely nothing could go wrong, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    1,072
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    153
    Hits:
    9,550
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Tommy never dreamed of reaching for the stars, but the aliens who kidnapped him certainly didn't care about that. They also didn't care when they separated Tommy from his brother and put Tommy in the equivalent of an alien pet store. At least the person who bought him was nice, if a little... clingy.

    ----------

    AKA mostly fluffy alien shenanigans for almost 7k words. Some angst but like pretty fluffy, so eat your fill because what I'll be posting in December will decidedly not be >:)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    1,860
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    302
    Hits:
    11,488
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “There he is, our little treasure,” Phil cooed, rubbing Tommy’s nose with his.

    Tommy giggled, his instincts muddling his mind and making him feel extra floaty. Now that he was safely in the arms of his caretaker, Tommy knew he could relax. His flock would handle things, just like they were supposed to.

    Phil let out a content sigh, pulling Tommy close and tucking him to his chest. “Let’s get you home and cleaned up darling.”

    “We’ll need to bring out some potions,” Techno commented, ruffling Tommy’s hair.

    Tommy purred, melting into Phil and tilting his head towards Techno. Yes, this was right. This is what he needed.

    “We’ll get everything dealt with once we bring him home.” Phil nodded.

    Techno chuffed, rubbing behind Tommy’s ear. “To the nest,” he agreed.

    -

    OR nearly 4k words of emeraldduo being soft for little baby Tommy with a bunch of hybrid instincts shit sprinkled in

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,867
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    1,852
    Bookmarks:
    280
    Hits:
    14,828
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The trunk clicked and Phil didn’t hesitate before grabbing and lifting the lid.

    Wilbur jumped back, barely containing a yelp, Techno taking a small step towards Phil, who was standing staring at the sight in front of them.

    A small boy, with fluffy golden curls, bundled in one of the blankets Phil had insisted they keep in the back for emergencies.

    And yet, even under the pools of the blanket the boy was swimming under, it wasn’t enough to hide what Phil had latched onto.

    Small wings, covered in beautiful, snow-white feathers sprouted from the boy’s back.

    ___

    or,

    tommy needs a place to sleep for the night, and breaks into sbi's car. but what's going to happen when he's still there in the morning?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,954
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    1,190
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    195
    Hits:
    8,478
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The stupidest thing, really, was that Tommy couldn't even really stop himself from doing this. It had been weeks now, barely getting by, scraping rock bottom as he lived through every day feeling like his heart had been pulled from his chest.

    He was just so lonely, a physical ache in his chest and desperately muffled chirps in his throat. It was more than just a want - whether he wanted to or not, he needed his flock - so now, here he was. Chasing villains through the city night after night, without so much as a plan for when it inevitably would go wrong.

    ~~~

    Oneshot based on a prompt by @corpseyreads on Twitter!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,572
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    16
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    3,577
    Bookmarks:
    659
    Hits:
    32,147
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Definition: a thought experiment that asks whether an entity that has had all of its original components replaced remains the same entity.

    Or: After being turned into a golden dagger, Tommy is unwillingly brought into the hoard of a stranger. He mistakenly believes that being changed back will solve this problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,869
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    166
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    2,303
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    476
    Hits:
    22,559
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Wilbur’s eyes went wide. Inside, there was a little baby human. Wilbur didn’t know ages very well—he didn’t even know his own—but the baby couldn’t be older than 2. Most likely even younger.

    The thing was bundled tight in blankets. He had blond hair just like his father. Wilbur blinked curiously at it.

    A thought hit him.

    What was something fae often took?

    A human’s firstborn!

    Wilbur grinned. Perfect!

    See? Wilbur knows how to be a fae. He doesn’t need anybody to teach him.

    Or, Wilbur is a lonely fae who stumbles upon Phil and his baby. Wilbur decides Phil has trespassed so he gets to take something of value. Free brother!!!

    If any CCs state they are uncomfortable with this kind of fic, I will take it down!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    1,406
    Bookmarks:
    175
    Hits:
    9,452
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The boy has started growling, looking for all the world like Techno threatened to torture him. He wishes Phil were here, to take over, or even Wilbur to smooth-talk his way out of this, but it’s just him and the voices, and all they want to do is fight over whether a wild pig would eat a baby raccoon. The answer is no, he shoves back at them, then ignores them completely.

    “I um. I’m not good at this.”

    This startles a laugh from the kid. He looks as surprised as Techno, but his admission seems to make him a little more comfortable.

    “Fuck no,” he replies, looking very proud of himself for his snark despite sitting in a wet dumpster. Techno takes this as a win.

    ~
    Bedrockbros & SBI hybrid fluff

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    656
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    69
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    3,888
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Y’know, you’re so smart that I wouldn’t be surprised if you were actually a human,” he commented offhandedly, looking at the horizon with no particular thoughts in mind.

    He doesn’t notice the cat freezing. After a few minutes, with no leash getting tugged, the man glances at him with a questioning look. The cat still stares.

    “What? You’re not human, are you?”

    The cat scoffs, looking away.

    Wilbur shrugs. Nothing strange, just a new normal day.

    (Tommy, mentally, screams at how dumbasses humans are).

    Techno has what is considered a normal life: he gets up, showers, has breakfast, brushes his teeth, goes to college, tutors, works, comes back home and goes to sleep. Well, it’s not exactly like that, but it’s close enough and shorter than the actual thing. In just two words: it's boring.

    It starts to be not so boring when an orange ball invades his life - and house.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,515
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    2,126
    Bookmarks:
    445
    Hits:
    23,973
  19. Tags
    Summary

    And Phil and Wilbur will be home as well, neither of them worked today so Techno hadn’t seen them at all. His dad should’ve ordered some pizza for tonight, and left him some. Techno’s stomach almost growls at the thought of nice, greasy pizza—

    Something slams directly into his stomach, and it’s only because Techno was raised doing martial arts and yoga that he doesn’t fall. Still, his breath is taken out of his lungs, and he bends at the waist, gasping for air.

    Tommy's magic allows him to shift into a mouse, and Techno's the unlucky—or is it lucky—soul that ran into him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,357
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    872
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    5,759
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The world is ending.

    Ever since that boat came through, trailing the sickness behind it like an octopus releasing ink. The iridescent slime that looked so pretty when it first arrived. The three of them gazed at it in wonder on the water’s surface, hypnotized by the way its colors shifted faster than a cuttlefish and its silvery metallic appearance. Just like one of the human boats.

    Wil swam through it on a dare. They all laughed as he darted in headfirst.

    That was until he emerged on the other side, heaving and clawing at his gills in pain.

    And that was only the beginning.

    It spread its tendrils further into the water and their home turned into hell.

     

    SBI Mer AU

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    41,163
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    185
    Kudos:
    1,838
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    473
    Hits:
    26,178

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