Archive of Our Own ^beta

Christmas has never been Minho’s favorite holiday. The traffic is always bad, there’s always way too many people out, and the music and movies that come out during this time are always way too cheesy and sentimental. Not to mention the minute Halloween is over, suddenly everything is a deep red or forest green and everyone has to decorate their houses with bright lights until the middle of January.

Every year for Christmas he stays home in his cozy sweater with his soft plush blanket and watches horror movies with his cat, Soonie. It’s a tradition he doesn’t want to let go of and one that he will always cherish.

“Hyunjin and I are throwing a Christmas party this year and you are required to come.” Changbin says walking into the gym with Minho.

“Required? Am I getting paid for this?” Minho cocks an eyebrow.

“No, but there’s free alcohol and free food.” Changbin smiles.

Minho shakes his head and sits down on the bench. He pulls out his weight lifting straps and cracks his knuckles, “And be surrounded by couples? No thanks.”

“That’s why I am going to set you up on a date.” Changbin grins grabbing 30kg dumbbells off the rack.

Minho lays back on the bench and takes the dumbbells from Changbin and begins pumping them into the air, “You’re hilarious.”

“Hyung, come on, I think you’d really like this guy. He’s just your type.” Changbin says as he lays down on the bench next.

“Oh really? What’s my type exactly?”

“Lean, a little goofy, baby face, kinda weird, cute smile. You know you love a cute smile.” Changbin smirks.

Minho side eyes him and starts on bicep curls, “And how do you know this person?”

“He’s one of the new producers at work. Chan has taken a liking to him, and if he has Chan’s seal of approval, you know he’s legit.”

Minho rolls his eyes and moves on to his next set. It’s not that Minho is opposed to dating, he just hasn’t had the best luck. Most of the guys he goes out with just want a quick fuck or they string him along and hit him with the I’m just not looking for anything serious right now, but we can keep hanging out. He’s 29 for crying out loud, when do people stop playing games?

Not to mention his lovely friends who decided they all need to meddle in his love life and set him up on random blind dates. Each of them failing miserably for various reasons. So Minho is less than enthusiastic at the prospect of going on yet another blind date.

“What’s his name?” Minho asks.

“Nope I’m not telling you until the day of and what he’s wearing.” Changbin smirks.

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re gonna go on Instagram or Twitter or whatever and cyber stalk him before you even go and come up with your own stupid assumptions. Just trust me.” Changbin pleads.

Minho eyes him carefully. Changbin hasn’t done Minho wrong once. He, for one, has never tried to push him to go out or meet someone. Really he’s been his best friend for eight years since they were in the army together. So if there’s one person he trusts, it’s him.

“Fine.” Minho sighs.

Changbin pumps his fists in the air and smiles big. “Friday night, cat cafe right by my work.”

“Don’t use my love for cats to try to win me over.” Minho shakes his head.

“I didn’t, this guy chose the place. Said he’s always loved to visit the cats who are up for adoption and give them some love while they’re waiting for their forever homes.” Changbin smirks.

Minho bites his lip. Damn it.

“I told yooouuu to trust me!” Changbin laughs.

It’s been exactly two years since Minho’s last serious relationship. They were together for almost a year before they mutually decided it just wasn’t gonna work out. It just always felt like something was missing. Like half the time Minho almost dreaded his company. Which was a red flag to begin with, but Eujin was nice and they were sexually compatible. But honestly, that was about all they had going for them. The sex was always incredible and the post sex cuddles were nice until Minho just got sick of him always being around.

Not that Minho hated Eujin, he just always imagined waking up with someone was supposed to be happy and exciting and Minho just didn’t feel that way. He never really felt that way about anyone. After Eujin it was a string of one night stands or situationships that always left him wanting more.

Soon enough time came and went and Minho just resigned himself to thinking maybe he just wasn’t meant to find the one. Maybe he’s just supposed to settle for mediocre. Or even find a balance between tolerance and somewhat content. Both options seem like death sentences, so for now, he’ll just get his dick wet when he can and cuddle his cat when he can’t.

So even when he’s getting ready for this blind date, he doesn’t try too hard to look good. Settles on a plain navy sweater, some light wash jeans and converse. He sprays on cologne and pockets a condom because maybe he’ll get lucky. Then he can go back to Changbin and tell him the guy isn’t it and he can go back to his solitary self.

“Alright I’m at the cafe, what’s this guy’s name?” Minho says, walking inside and bowing to the waitress before taking a seat in the corner.

“He should already be there. He’s wearing a black leather jacket and jeans. His hair is probably slicked back in a backwards hat.” Changbin says.

Minho rolls his eyes even though Changbin can’t see him, “Are you sure this –”

The words get stuck on their way out as Minho’s eyes settle on skinny legs in black jeans, toes slightly pointed inwards and bent at the knee slightly. A hand comes down to pet an orange cat that has been winding between his legs. He crouches and he looks so small. When Minho lifts his gaze to the perfect heart shaped smile and big brown eyes, his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Minho? Minho, did you find him?” Minho hears Changbin’s voice in the distance.

“Jisung.” Minho whispers.

“Wait, how do you know his name? Did you guys meet already?” Changbin panics.

“I’ll call you later.” Minho ends the call and drops his phone to the table, still staring at the man in front of him.

Jisung looks around and his eyes flicker over at Minho briefly before he shoots up and his eyes grow wider and wider as recognition finally covers his face.

“Minho?” Jisung asks, pointing with a cocked head.

Minho just nods, his mouth still parted and he’s looking up at the beautiful boy he fell head over heels for eight years ago.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Hi, uhm, is it okay if I sit with you? All the other tables are full.”

Minho looks up and sees a cute boy with chubby cheeks and big brown eyes. Minho nods and scoots over, “I’m Minho.”

“I’m Jisung. Is this your first time at camp?” Jisung smiles.

“No, it’s actually my last. I’m going to the military at the end of the summer.”

Jisung nods, “I just moved here from Malaysia. I got accepted at a university here, but I wanted to see if I could really make it in music. I got offered a spot to come here early and attend this music camp. What department are you in?”

“Dance. You?”

“Music composition and production. You look like a dancer, your legs are really strong.” Jisung says with stuffed cheeks from his lunch.

Minho looks under the table and sees Jisung’s knees pointing inwards towards each other, his toes pointing inwards as well. He’s so cute.

“Thanks, so you write songs?”

Jisung blushes, and Minho feels the tips of his ears heat up. “Yeah, it’s kind of how I express my feelings, but I get too shy to share them.”

Minho looks down at his plate of food and pushes the rice around on his plate. This kid is adorable, but Minho can’t let himself get too attached. In three months he’s going to the military, and it’s better to not have any attachments.

“Hey, you like Naruto?” Jisung asks excitedly, pointing at Minho’s keychain.

Minho laughs, “Yeah, I’m rewatching the series right now.”

“Can I watch with you?” Jisung perks up, but then deflates immediately, “I mean, uh, I’m sorry, you don’t even know me. What am I asking here?”

“Sure, if you buy popcorn.” Minho smiles.

Jisung lights up again and Minho never wants to see him sad or upset. He shines so bright and his smile is so perfect and beautiful. But Minho can’t develop a crush right now. Not on this sweet looking boy who is now talking his ear off about the weather and how the clouds have different forms. Because damn, has the weather never been so nice.

✧ ✧ ✧

Jisung and Minho sit awkwardly across from each other as they stir their iced americanos. A few cats have come and gone from their table, one orange one in particular has been sitting next to Jisung exclusively.

“I really was not expecting you to be here.” Jisung says, breaking the silence. “When Changbin hyung said, Lee Minho, I really thought, what are the chances?”

Jisung chuckles, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes. He’s older now. His face is slimmer, but his big cheeks are still prominent. His eyes are bright, but they don’t shine as much as they used to. He’s a little more relaxed, reserved. Minho feels the familiarity, but he still feels like a stranger.

“Changbin didn’t even tell me your name. He just said to show up and he would tell me what you were wearing.” Minho chuckles.

“How do you know Changbin?” Jisung asks.

“We were bunkmates in the army. After we got out we were roommates for a few years before he moved in with his boyfriend, now husband.”

Jisung nods and looks back at the orange cat, “So how’ve you been? It’s been like what, seven years?”

“Eight.” Minho stares, “But who’s counting?”

Jisung smiles as he stares into Minho’s eyes. It’s like a spark was relit, a fire slowly growing within Minho’s chest and simmering on low as he feels warmth spread across his chest, down his stomach and up his neck to his cheeks. A feeling he hasn’t felt in such a long time, he forgot what it even felt like. To actually look at someone and feel not just attraction, but fondness. An unbridled feeling of pure want. A want to get to know someone.

“I see you’ve moved on from Naruto and are dabbling in One Piece.” Jisung smiles, pointing at Minho’s keychain.

“I’ll always love Naruto, but I gotta get through over a thousand episodes.”

And just like that the tension dissipates and they’re laughing and talking about all the anime they’ve watched. Jisung’s giant heart shaped smile, and loud, playful laugh is back. He talks Minho’s ear off about how lazy pandas are and their inability to have intercourse because of pure laziness.

Before they know it an employee comes to their table to let them know they’ll be closing soon. And Minho can see the disappointment in Jisung’s eyes as he nods and gives her a polite smile. Minho doesn’t want this date to end either and for the first time in a very long time he wishes he could spend more time with Jisung.

They clean up their trash and say goodbye to the orange cat. She meows and winds around Jisung’s legs before he leaves following him to the door. Jisung squats down and scratches under her chin, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll be back soon, I promise.” Minho has to look away before he starts to get teary eyed. This cat has so obviously chosen Jisung as it’s owner and Minho hates saying goodbye to the poor cats.

The orange cat meows and claws at Jisung’s pants some more before an employee comes and picks her up to bring her back to her kennel. Jisung stares through the window and waves before turning to Minho with a frown.

“I wish I could adopt her.”

“Why can’t you?” Minho asks.

“My apartment doesn’t allow pets. But my lease is up in a couple months, so if she’s still here when I move then I’ll take her with me.” Jisung looks back at the cafe and bites his lip.

Minho’s heart starts to race again at the mention of Jisung moving, “You gonna go far?” He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at the park across the street.

“No, just to an apartment that allows pets.” Jisung turns to look at him again, “You plan on joining the military in a few months?”

Minho snaps his head to meet Jisung’s eyes, but he’s smiling. No malice in his face and he starts to giggle covering his mouth with his hand, “Your ears still get red when you’re flustered.”

Minho touches the tips of his ears and shakes his head, “Wanna go for a walk?” He nods his head towards the park and Jisung nods leading the way. They walk comfortably next to each other, looking around at the twinkling lights from the Christmas decorations that have already been put up given it’s early November.

They spot a street vendor and Jisung runs up to it holding up a Naruto headband, “Hey look! Remember when we wore these and pretended to fight down by the lake?”

Minho grins, “You wouldn’t take it off for days.” He runs his thumb over the thin metal and traces the outline. Jisung picks up another trinket and tells Minho about the symbols on it. It looks like a talisman and Jisung seems to know a lot about it.

“It’s from Malaysia.” Jisung smiles fondly, putting it down.

They say goodbye to the vendor and continue walking down the path until they hear soft guitar playing. They walk up and Jisung sways to the soft melody. Minho holds out his hand and pulls Jisung close to him as they slow dance in the middle of the park.

“So do you still look up at the clouds and point out different objects?” Minho asks, pulling Jisung closer.

“Sometimes when I’m having a hard time with a song. I like to go for walks and try to clear my head.” Jisung moves to wrap both of his arms around Minho’s shoulders, “Do you still talk in your sleep?”

Minho laughs and twirls Jisung before bringing him in so close their faces are only inches apart, “I don’t let anyone sleep over to tell me if I do or I don’t.”

Jisung sucks in a breath and threads his fingers through Minho’s hair, “Weird. You always let me sleep over.”

Minho swallows and looks down at Jisung’s lips. He wets his own and then presses his forehead to Jisung’s, “We were at a summer overnight camp, everyday was a sleepover, dummy.”

Jisung laughs and slaps Minho’s chest. They giggle together as Minho pulls Jisung back into his arms, “Go on a second date with me.”

“That doesn’t sound like a question. Sounds pretty demanding.” Jisung cocks an eyebrow. “I’m not some lonely eighteen year old kid anymore, you know. I’m an introverted twenty seven year old man now. Have some class.”

Minho dips Jisung and when he brings him back up he whispers into his ear, “Well I’m not leaving in three months, so I can actually date you the right way this time. Will you go on a second date with me?”

Jisung shivers in Minho’s arms, making him smile. He pulls back to look Jisung in the eyes and he has a light blush on his face, “Yes, I will go on a second date with you. But I have one condition.”

Minho nods.

“You gotta kiss me to see if the spark is still there. What if it fizzled out after all this time?” Jisung shrugs.

Minho smirks at Jisung’s big brown eyes staring at him. He can see the stars shining in the pool of black in his irises and the minute he caresses his thumb across Jisung’s cheek he already knows. Jisung leans into it. His eyes half closing and he smiles. A beautiful fond smile.

“There’s no more spark.” Minho smiles, “Because the fire never went out.” He leans in and presses his lips to Jisung’s. The fire in his chest grows and grows and he can’t help, but smile against Jisung’s lips because it feels like home. Their mouths move with so much familiarity, but with so much excitement. It feels like the first time, even though it’s not, but it also feels comfortable and easy.

Jisung pulls away first pressing light pecks to Minho’s lips, “I have one more condition.”

Minho hums, chasing Jisung’s mouth.

Jisung pushes Minho back, looking into his eyes, “Don’t rush. Get to know me again, I’m not the same person I was.”

Minho squeezes Jisung’s waist and sees the sadness in Jisung’s eyes again. There’s something bothering him, something from his past that he’s hiding or trying to move on from. Minho pulls Jisung close and hugs him tight. He whispers, “I’m not the same person I was either.”

“What if you don’t like this version of me?” Jisung whispers.

Minho kisses his temple, “Not possible. How could I ever not like my first everything?”

✧ ✧ ✧

“Hyungie!” Jisung yells running towards Minho. His bag is swinging back and forth as his hair bounces with his little run. Minho is laying on the grass looking up at the clouds between his dance sessions.

“Look! They finally came in.” Jisung grins plopping down next to Minho. He reaches into his bag and pulls out two Naruto headbands.

Minho sits up and grabs one of them, “Whoa! They’re actually here!” Jisung is already tying his behind his head and Minho goes to follow. They stand up and begin reenacting the show. Minho smiles and laughs the entire time.

It’s been a month since the start of camp and the two of them have been inseparable. Minho bribed one of the boys in Jisung’s cabin to switch beds with him and ever since, they’ve been attached at the hip.

Every single day after their morning classes they meet under the tree by the lake and have lunch together. Jisung will talk about some more random facts from animal documentaries or they’ll lay on the ground and point out shapes in the clouds. Sometimes they’ll just lay in comfortable silence or watch Naruto on Jisung’s tablet.

As the weeks went on, the fire in Minho’s heart grew. A steady burn now as he falls harder and harder for the soft hearted boy. Minho knew he was gay in high school. He tried dating one of his friends, but ended up breaking it off when he couldn’t seem to get past just being friends. She didn’t make his heart race or make the butterflies in stomach flutter like the boys did in their grade.

He came out to his parents when he was seventeen, shaking and scared. His mother smiled and kissed his forehead, “Whatever makes you happy, baby. We’ll always love you.” Minho cried that night. His mother made him hot chocolate and they spent the night watching movies together.

But he hadn’t told Jisung. Not that it matters because he should not be having feelings. He’s leaving at the end of the summer for two years. It would be cruel to try and start something. He knows they have a deadline. A definitive ending. He should not string along this beautiful innocent boy. Even if the fire in his heart is aching to be fed, he needs to let him go.

After their afternoon classes, they always go down to the lake after dinner and look at the stars. The night is perfectly clear and the stars are shining exceptionally bright. Minho lays back on the blanket and puts his arms behind his head. Jisung curls into his side and lays his head on Minho’s chest.

“Hyungie, can I tell you something?”

“Course.” Minho hums.

“You promise you won’t be mad at me?”

Minho looks down at Jisung, “Why would I ever be mad at you? Did you burn my hoodie or something?”

Jisung smacks his chest and moves to lay next to Minho to face him fully. Minho mimics his pose and they’re so close to each other, Minho can smell the chocolate cheesecake on Jisung’s breath.

“I uhm, I think, I uhm. I –” Jisung bites his lip.

Minho’s body moves first and he tips Jisung’s head up by his chin and scoots closer, “It’s okay, you can tell me anything.”

Jisung stares at him with big brown eyes, “Hyung, I like boys.”

The flame in Minho’s chest burns brighter and he smiles, “Yeah? I like boys, too.”

Jisung’s eyes widen and he scoots closer until their foreheads are touching, tears are building in his eyes and one escapes, slowly cascading over the bridge of his nose and down the other cheek towards his temple. “You do?”

Minho smiles, “Yeah. Do you like anyone here at camp?”

Jisung scoots even closer, their bodies are flush, Jisung can’t get any closer, “Mhm.”

Minho slides a hand onto Jisung’s waist. He’s so tiny, his giant hoodies always hiding his slender figure, “Do I know him?”

Jisung bites his lip and swallows, “you are him.”

Minho stops breathing. He knows he shouldn’t feed the fire in his chest, but it’s angry, begging. He wants it so badly. He finally met someone who understands him. Someone who likes him for who he is. Likes that he’s quiet and reserved, likes that he’s a little weird and watches anime. Likes him for him. He’s gonna lose control.

The flame is crackling in Minho’s chest and sparks are shooting off inside of him. He tips his head so their noses brush, their lips an inch apart, “hmm, I like you, too.”

Jisung’s breath hitches and he slides a hand into Minho’s hair, “can I kiss you?”

Minho swallows and nods, waiting for Jisung to move first. Jisung presses his lips gently onto Minho’s, testing the feeling. Jisung trembles under Minho’s hands and they press their lips together harder, they begin moving their mouths messily, not really knowing what to do, but just letting instinct take over.

Minho pulls away first, pressing light pecks to Jisung’s mouth, “wow.”

Jisung giggles, “I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Me either.”

“Can we keep doing it?”

Minho nods and pulls Jisung to him. He presses his lips to his and they sigh into each other’s mouth. Their kisses are soft and slow and Minho never wants to stop kissing Jisung. But he already knows he messed up. Gave into the temptation and let himself go. Because as much as he doesn’t want to stop kissing Jisung, he knows he will have to.

✧ ✧ ✧

Minho is sitting in his car staring at the dark parking lot. Jisung had just left after they spent another thirty minutes making out like horny teenagers. The fire in Minho’s chest is steadily growing, not as large as it was when they met all those years ago, but growing. He touches his lips with the pads of his fingers and can still taste Jisung on his tongue. He can still smell Jisung’s cologne on his clothes and see his big brown eyes.

Minho pulls out his phone and starts the car. As he’s pulling out of the spot, Changbin answers his call.

“So when’s the wedding?” Changbin asks.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was Han Jisung?”

“Do you know him?”

Minho bites his lip, because Changbin doesn’t know about him and Jisung. And from what Jisung said about him, he didn’t tell Changbin either.

“Hyung, do you know him?” Changbin asks again.

“Remember when we first met and I told you I had to leave the love of my life behind?” Minho sighs.

Silence. Minho clenches his jaw, because he knows Changbin is putting the pieces together in his head and he’s already formulating theories and getting ready to tell Hyunjin all about it.

“No fucking way.”

“Yup. Han Jisung was the one that got away.” Minho sighs.

“Shut up! What are the chances! Are you serious?” Changbin yells.

Minho sighs, “We’re going on another date.”

Hyunjin squeals in the background, “Did you kiss him?” Of course he’s on speakerphone. Hyunjin loves gossip.

Minho scoffs, “Of course I did, who do you think you’re talking to? Changbin, what do you know about Jisung?”

Changbin hums, “He left his old company because of some kind of dispute, but he didn’t give details. He’s actually a really good producer and he writes incredible songs. I don’t know if it was because of money or status or credibility, but something went down at his old company. Otherwise, he’s kinda quiet, keeps to himself. He only really talks to me and Chan hyung and honestly it took like four months to try and talk to him.”

Minho scrunches his eyebrows because that is not the Jisung he knows. The Jisung he knows is loud, funny, outwardly bright and always making others smile. The Jisung he knew back then was innocent, happy, and curious. But the Jisung tonight was definitely more reserved, more toned down. He seemed disconnected.

“Huh. Anything else?”

“Not really. He usually just talks about music. He’s always playing the guitar and singing.”

Minho smiles. “Well, thanks I guess, for reintroducing me to Jisung.”

Changbin snorts, “you’re welcome.”

“Let us know how the next date goes!” Hyunjin sings.

Minho hangs up. His mind won’t stop. He keeps thinking about Jisung and their date. When he gets home Soonie is sitting in his cat tree. He walks up to him and scratches his chin. Soonie gives him some curious sniffs before laying his head back down and going back to sleep.

All through his shower and nighttime routine, Minho thinks about Jisung. He’s excited, but nervous. Curious, but doesn’t want to push. As he lays in bed he opens up Instagram and searches for Jisung’s profile. He requests to follow him and gets an almost immediate acceptance. Minho snorts and looks through his profile. They’re mainly short videos of Jisung singing and playing the guitar. Minho loves the sound of his voice. It’s different now, more controlled. His singing has improved significantly and he plays the guitar with ease.

A message pops up on the top of his screen:

Jisung
You have a cat?

Minho smiles into his pillow, of course Jisung is looking through his profile too.

Minho
Yeah, his name is Soonie

Jisung
He looks like Saru

Minho
Is that the name of the cat at the cafe?

Jisung
No, that’s the name I’m going to give her. Her name right now is Jiwon

Minho
Your voice sounds incredible. You’ve really improved. I’m proud of you. I know that was something you were working on.

Minho stares as his message shows read at 10:30pm. The bubble appears and disappears over the course of a few minutes and now Minho hopes he didn’t say something wrong.

Jisung
Thanks, that means a lot. Gonna go to bed now, goodnight.

Minho stares at the message and rereads the convo again to see if he might have overstepped or said something wrong.

Minho
Goodnight, Sungie. I had a really great time on our date. I’m looking forward to next Friday.

Minho slaps his forehead. Now he just sounds desperate.

Jisung
I had a great time too.

Uncertainty clouds Minho’s head. Something feels off. Their date went well and he thought they clicked again, but maybe it’s only him. Maybe Jisung didn’t feel the spark again. Maybe he doesn’t like Minho the same way he did back then.

Minho’s phone vibrates and another message comes through. It’s a voice message from Jisung. Minho clicks play and Jisung’s honey sweet voice rings through. Minho doesn’t recognize the song, so it must be something Jisung is working on. The lyrics are sad, but Jisung’s voice is so sweet and clear.

Minho
Beautiful.

Jisung
Can’t wait to see you again.

Minho smiles into his pillow again. Whatever it is that is going in Jisung’s mind, he’s gonna be there for him. He let him go once before, he doesn’t want to ever let him go again.

The week drags. All Minho can think about is their next date. They message each other sporadically throughout the week, most of it is random thoughts they have to share. Minho always lights up at Jisung’s messages. A part of him hopes Jisung feels the same.

It’s weird this feeling Minho has. This feeling of giddiness, fondness, pure excitement. He hasn’t felt this way in such a long time he forgot how addicting it is. As much as he loves his job, loves his dance studio, loves teaching kids how to dance, he hasn’t felt this type of energy.

Friday finally rolls around and Jisung tells Minho to dress nice. The sushi restaurant they’re going to is on the higher end, one Jisung picked out himself. The dress code is office formal and Minho puts on some fitted slacks, a white button up shirt and a long winter coat. Just as he’s pulling on his black Chelsea boots, there’s a knock on his door.

“Whoa.” Jisung says the minute Minho opens the door. Minho looks Jisung up and down and he’s wearing black slacks, a black button down and a cropped black blazer. His belt cinches his tiny waist perfectly and Minho has to swallow the spit pooling in his mouth.

“Hi.” Minho rubs the back of his neck.

They stand awkwardly for a moment before Soonie meows from his cat tree.

Jisung lights up and smiles, “Hi, Soonie.”

Soonie gives the air a few sniffs before jumping down and walking towards Jisung. He sniffs his shoes before winding between his legs.

“That’s weird. He hates strangers.” Minho stares.

Jisung crouches and pats Soonie’s head, “I’m not a stranger, huh kitty?”

Minho’s heart grows in his chest at the sight. Soonie never liked any of the guys Minho dated. He hated Eujin, but a part of him thinks it’s because Eujin was more of a dog person. But Soonie seems to love Jisung already.

“Ready?” Jisung asks.

Minho nods and gives Soonie some goodbye pats. Jisung opens up the passenger side door for Minho and gestures for him to enter.

“Oh, what a gentleman.” Minho teases, sliding into the seat.

Jisung smirks and walks around to the driver's side. He reaches behind Minho and pulls out a bouquet of roses, “For you.”

Minho’s ears burn and he knows his neck and face are probably bright red. He takes the bouquet and just smiles into them, smelling their sweet scent. They talk about their days on their way in and Minho can feel the comfort seeping in. It all seems so easy with Jisung, like they’ve been doing this their whole lives. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is how it’s supposed to feel when you meet the person you’re destined to find, so they say.

Jisung has always been there, tucked away in the back of Minho’s mind. Sometimes Minho thought about him on lonely midnight nights, sometimes he’d be reminded of him in the shows he’d watch. But Minho knew to never dig deeper, look for him, search social media for him. Their separation wasn’t pretty and Minho wonders if Jisung still holds any grudges.

They pull into the valet and Jisung hands his keys off to the attendant. Minho follows Jisung into the restaurant where the host greets Jisung with a wide smile.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.”

Jisung smirks and leans on the podium, “Jaemin, long time no see.”

“Wouldn’t be so long if you just made an appearance.” Jaemin was strikingly beautiful. His smile is gorgeous and Minho can feel the jealousy already prickling under his skin.

“Is this your date?” Jaemin asks.

Jisung turns towards Minho and blushes, “Yes.” He turns back to Jaemin and scrunches his eyebrows, “Stop undressing him with your eyes, I’ll tell Jeno.”

Jaemin laughs, “What’s Jeno gonna do?”

Jisung shakes his head, “Can you seat us, please?”

“I’m sorry, we’re reservation only.”

Jisung clears his throat, “Sir, I own the place, take me to my table.”

Jaemin matches Jisung’s smile and nods, “Follow me.”

Minho follows behind Jisung as they walk to their table. His mind is running a mile a minute, because this Jisung is confident. The sushi chefs, wait staff and bartenders all say hello to him as they walk through. Minho’s ears burn from all the attention pointed their way. Everyone raises their eyebrows at Minho as he follows along. They reach a secluded area in the back of the restaurant and Jisung pulls out Minho’s chair. Minho clears his throat before taking a seat, he knows his face is on fire and he’s trying to keep it cool until Jaemin leaves at least.

Jaemin whispers something in Jisung’s ear, making Jisung blush and hitting him on the shoulder. Minho looks down at the table and searches for a menu, but there’s nothing there. Just two plates, two wine glasses and chopsticks.

Jisung takes the seat across from Minho and smiles at him softly, “You okay?”

“Own the place, huh?”

Jisung blushes, “I’m an investor. One of my friends is the head chef. We met a couple years ago and he always wanted to open up his own restaurant. I helped invest to get this place up and running.”

Minho nods, “There’s no menu.”

“It’s an omakase experience.” Jisung smiles, taking the cloth napkin and laying it across his lap. Minho follows and rubs the back of his neck. He feels somewhat out of place. He almost never goes to high end dining experiences like these because it’s always ridiculously expensive and most of the time he feels like he’s being judged by the other patrons.

“You okay?” Jisung asks, leaning forward.

Minho just smiles and nods slightly, he clears his throat and focuses on the decorations around him. It’s very modern, the lights hanging around them are simplistic and the art on the walls are abstract. Everything about the place screams high end. There's subtle hints of red bows and a simple wreath on the doors that lead to the kitchen. Very tasteful splashes of Christmas.

“This place is really nice.” Minho swallows.

“Don’t worry about the price.” Jisung says, like he’s reading Minho’s mind, “I got it.”

Minho cocks an eyebrow and smirks, “Well in that case, get me the most expensive sake you have.”

“Done.” Jisung shrugs. “But, I have to drive us back, so I’ll just have a glass of wine, but please, get whatever you want.”

Minho feels a tingling sensation on his neck shooting down to his spine and up to the tips of his ears. He’s never been wine and dined before. Most of his dates were at bars or cafes. Even Eujin never took Minho out to nice places like this. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He fidgets in his lap and shifts uncomfortably.

“Uhm, hyung, do you want to leave?”

Minho looks up and sees the sadness in Jisung’s eyes. He’s slumped in his chair and his eyebrows are scrunched upwards.

“What? No, why?” Minho hurriedly asks.

“You seem uncomfortable. Am I making you uncomfortable?” Jisung shrinks.

Minho hears alarm bells in his head, “No, Jisungie, no I just, I’m not used to this. I don’t ever come to nice places like this, and I just don’t know how to act or what to do. I just, I don’t want to, uhm, I fuck.” Minho rubs his face, “I don’t want to embarrass you or anything.”

“Embarrass me? What makes you think you’d embarrass me?” Jisung sits straighter in his chair.

Minho rubs his neck, again. “I just, I don’t know, I just guess…” Minho sighs, “I’m not like some rich guy who can regularly afford stuff like this. I own a dance studio, yeah, but I teach dance to kids. I just —“ Minho can feel his throat starting to close up and he looks down at the napkin in his lap.

Jisung taps the table and Minho looks up to meet his eyes. They’re soft and he’s holding his hand out for Minho to take. Minho takes a deep breath and rests his hand on Jisung's.

“I really don’t care what you do for your job as long as it makes you happy. I just wanted to impress you I guess. Show you that I’m not some loser kid anymore.” Jisung half smiles.

Minho rubs Jisung’s hand with his thumb, “you were never just some loser kid, Sungie. You’re brilliant and a great songwriter and producer. I never thought you were just some loser. Trust me, I’ve dated losers, and so far you’ve already exceeded the best of them.”

Jisung laughs and bites his lip. Minho can see his cheeks turn crimson.

“Also, you didn’t need to do all of this. I would have been fine getting street food from some sketchy vendors. I just want to spend time with you. But since we’re here, let’s just enjoy it, yeah?” Minho holds out his other hand.

Jisung rests his other hand in Minho’s and again the tension dissipates. A waiter comes by offering a bottle of wine, but Minho declines and asks for water instead.

“Why don’t you want to get sake?” Jisung asks.

“I don’t need it. I’d rather not be under the influence.”

Jisung smiles and conversation flows easily again. Half way through their dinner, Jisung clears his throat and wipes his face. Minho stares at him and raises his eyebrows, waiting.

“Can I ask you something?” Jisung says, not meeting Minho’s eyes.

“Course.”

“What did Changbin tell you about me?”

Minho swallows and fidgets with his napkin, “not much. He just said that you are quiet and reserved. Mentioned that you had left your old company for some reason.”

Jisung nods, “that’s it?”

“Yeah, he said it took a while for him and Chan hyung to talk to you.”

“Yeah. I’m working on that.” Jisung sighs.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jisung bites his lip and stares at their next course for a minute or so before saying, “not yet.”

Minho nods and they continue their meal. Jisung lights up again once Minho asks about his songs. He’s bright and energetic and happy to talk about his music. It warms Minho’s core to see him this animated and happy. It’s the Jisung Minho fell for all those years ago.

But Minho is patient and he’ll wait as long as he needs until Jisung is ready to talk about whatever he needs.

Jisung pays for dinner while Minho goes to the restroom, and then they stop for hot chocolate on the way back to Minho’s apartment. The walk up to his place is almost torturous. Minho doesn’t know if he should invite him in or if they should just say goodnight. Jisung said to not rush and maybe inviting him in will give him the wrong idea. But Minho also doesn't want the night to end.

They stand outside his door for a moment while Minho taps on the keypad to unlock the door. He pauses for a moment and looks at Jisung, “uhm do you want to come in?”

Jisung eyes flicker between the door and Minho and he shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. I don’t want to rush.”

Minho looks down at the doorknob, disappointed. Jisung grabs his hand and pulls him, holding him in his arms, “I had a great time.”

Minho melts into him and sighs, “me too.”

Jisung cups Minho’s cheek and leans in to press their lips together. Minho threads his fingers through Jisung’s hair, his other arm falling to his side with the bouquet of flowers in hand. Jisung pulls his waist closer and presses their chests together.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in?” Minho whispers between kisses.

Jisung nods, kissing the corner of Minho’s mouth, “it’ll be too dangerous.”

Minho laughs, “I don’t bite.”

“Yes you do.” Jisung bites Minho’s lower lip and pulls, letting it snap back in place. He kisses him softly and pulls away, “no really, I don’t want to mess this up.”

Minho pouts and chases Jisung’s lips, “why would you mess this up?”

Jisung kisses Minho one more time before taking a step back leaving Minho cold.

“Hyung, please. Don’t take this the wrong way, I really like you, I do, I just don’t want to rush.” Jisung pleads.

Minho nods, “yeah, no I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you.” His heart is pounding in his chest. Did he take it too far? Is he being too clingy? He should back off.

He turns the doorknob and steps inside, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push you.”

Jisung holds the door open and kisses Minho one more time, “hyung wait, don’t apologize. It’s me. I just need to slow down a little bit. But I enjoy spending time with you. Please don’t think I don’t.”

Minho nods, “I understand. It’s okay, Jisungie.” He caresses Jisung’s cheek and Jisung leans into his hand. It’s such a soft moment, and they stare into each other’s eyes for a second too long before Jisung kisses Minho’s open palm and backs away.

“Goodnight, hyung.”

“Goodnight, Jisungie. Drive safe.”

“Always.” Jisung smiles before turning and walking down the hallway and down the stairs.

Minho closes the door and sighs into the flowers. He arranges them in a base before patting Soonie’s head and going off to get ready for bed.

The water feels unusually warm as he showers. Maybe it’s just his body feeling cold. He’s getting too ahead of himself. It’s been so long since he properly dated anyone. Most of the time sex is already done and over with and then the men realize how boring Minho is before moving on.

This time Jisung wants to get to know Minho. He wants Minho to get to know him and Minho just keeps rushing to move forward. Admittedly he hasn’t actually done this for years.

The men Minho dates typically try to sleep with him within the first two dates. So Minho just doesn’t know how to act anymore.

Once he lays down in bed, his mind still cloudy, he sees a message from Jisung.

Jisung
Made it home. I just wanted to tell you again I really did have a great time. Thank you for being patient with me. I hope I can see you again soon. Goodnight hyungie.

Minho
You don’t need to thank me. Thank you for a great dinner.

Minho’s thumb hovers over the keyboard. How soon is too soon to set up another date? He sighs, a week feels too long. But is it clingy to ask to see him after a few days? Minho groans and buries his face into the pillow. This is frustrating.

Jisung
Would you want to go to lunch with me on Sunday?

Minho smiles and kicks his feet in bed. Warmth spreads across his chest and he feels like some stupid teenager again.

Minho
I’d love to.

Minho rests his phone on his chest and stares up at the ceiling. He’s overthinking this. He just needs to spend time with Jisung. That’s all he wants. Maybe he’s trying too hard to make Jisung like him. He needs to let Jisung take the lead. Just go with the flow and enjoy whatever Jisung wants to give him.

He’s terrified about it. What if Jisung doesn’t want more, romantically? What if he realizes they’re better off friends? Minho shakes his head and tries to let those thoughts roll off his brain. Jisung kisses him. He wants more, he’s just holding back. Whatever Jisung needs, Minho will wait. He has to.

This is their second chance and Minho doesn’t believe in coincidences. Go with the flow and let it happen. He can do that.

✧ ✧ ✧

The door to the practice room opens and Minho sees Jisung tip toe in with a plate of food. Minho turns around just as Jisung puts the plate down on the side counter and runs into his arms.

“Hey there, cutie. What did you bring me?” Minho spins Jisung around in the empty room.

“A sandwich and some chips. I thought you’d be hungry from all this practice you’ve been doing.” Jisung adjusts his glasses on his nose and threads his fingers through Minho’s hair.

“Mmm I'm more hungry for something else.” Minho leans Jisung back and kisses him softly, his tongue running along the seam of Jisung’s lips.

Jisung pushes Minho back upwards and jumps to wrap his legs around Minho’s waist. Minho walks them over to the couch and sits back letting Jisung ravage his mouth.

“I’ll never get tired of kissing you.” Jisung whines.

Minho chuckles and licks Jisung’s lips, “Yeah? How about –”

The door to the practice room starts to open and Jisung jumps off of Minho's lap and falls to the ground. Minho smooths out his hair and clears his throat just as one of the camp counselors walks in.

“Hey, Minho –” He stops and looks between Jisung and Minho, “Uh, Jisung what are you doing here?”

“I, uhm, he, I –” Jisung stutters.

“He brought me lunch. I couldn’t make it down to the cafeteria because I’ve been practicing for the recital, so he brought me some food.” Minho shoots up from the couch, subtly adjusting his sweatpants and walking over to the plate of food on the counter. “See?”

The counselor looks between both of them again and squints, “Okaaaay. Anyways, Minho, we’re gonna need the practice room soon, are you almost done?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll just grab my stuff and be out of your hair.” Minho laughs nervously.

“Jisung, uh, you should probably get going if you want to keep that studio time, today.”

“Yup.” Jisung throws his backpack over his shoulder and quickly walks towards the door, “Thanks Taeyoung hyung!” Jisung half waves and Minho before sprinting towards the studios.

Taeyoung looks at Minho again with scrunched brows, “Minho, be careful yeah? You’re lucky it was me and not Doyoung.”

Minho sighs, “Yeah, thanks. And uhm, I’m sorry.”

“Just don’t have sex in the practice room.” Taeyoung starts to walk out, but comes back, “Actually don’t have sex in the cabins either, or in the bathroom. Just don’t have sex here. Cool?”

Minho feels his entire face go red, “Yup, you got it. Not having sex.”

Taeyoung nods and starts to leave again, “Just, do you need like lube or –”

“Hyung! I’m fine.” Minho grabs his bag and plate of food and walks past Taeyoung. Sweat is gliding down the sides of his face from complete and utter embarrassment and he’s speed walking towards the tree by the lake.

“Just, if you need anything!” Taeyoung yells out, making the other students turn to look at Minho.

“Nope I am A-okay!” Minho waves, starting to run.

Once he reaches the tree, he plops down and lays flat on the grass. His face is still burning and he can feel his heart beating out of his chest. Sex. They were just making out. They’ve just only been making out for a month. Do both of them get hard in their pants and pant into each other’s mouth and baby dry hump each other a little bit? Yes. But that doesn’t mean they’re going to have sex here at camp.

Right?

Minho runs a hand over his face and looks down at the covered paper plate. Jisung brought him a turkey sandwich and potato chips. He takes a bite and sighs looking up at the clouds. It’s not that Minho doesn’t know what to do. Okay, maybe he isn’t a hundred percent sure. He’s never had sex and neither has Jisung, but it doesn’t mean he hasn’t done research.

Does he have a bottle lube? Yes. Does he have condoms? Yes. But does he plan on losing his virginity at camp? Maybe. Should he? No. He shouldn’t. Because he’s leaving. That’s why every time they start to get a little too handsy with each other or almost cross the line, Minho stops it. He can’t. He’s going to leave for the military and he can’t just share an important intimate moment and then leave.

The plate next to his head is empty by the time he hears footsteps nearing. Jisung lays down next to him and rests his head on Minho’s shoulder.

“Have you been here since we almost got caught?”

Minho nods and turns to look at Jisung. His beautiful brown doe eyes and pretty little pout. His little mole on his cheek and his scrunched up eyebrows. He’s perfect.

“Can I ask you something?”

Minho nods again.

“What happens at the end of the summer?” Jisung whispers.

Minho looks into his sad eyes and he turns to fully face him. He caresses his cheek softly and scratches under his chin, “We go camping. Just the two of us.”

Jisung smiles, “Yeah?”

Minho nods, “I have a couple weeks before I have to check in, well, you know.”

Jisung frowns. He snuggles closer and wraps his arms around Minho, their foreheads touching, their noses brushing against each other, “I know.”

✧ ✧ ✧

One month.

It’s been one month since Jisung and Minho started dating…again. Or for the first time? Minho doesn’t know. All he knows is it’s been one month since Jisung has been back in his life. And it’s been incredible. They go on dates multiple times a week, sometimes it’s just coffee for lunch breaks, sometimes it’s dinners at nice places. Other times it's visiting the cats at the cafe. Everyday, Minho gets to know more and more about Jisung.

They go shopping at the mall, buying gifts for the people they love. They experiment with new seasonal latte flavors and pastries. Nothing feels forced and everything feels comfortable. 

Jisung opened up more, his brightness returning. He isn’t as sad as he was the first time they met, and his bubbly personality is showing more and more with their friends. Jisung finally meets Hyunjin and they go on a double date. Soon after he meets Felix, Chan’s husband and the two immediately click.

Just like Minho knew he would, Jisung fits right into their social circle. But something still eats away at him. They haven’t stepped foot in either apartment, the furthest they’ve gone is making out in the car, and Jisung still hasn’t opened up about why he left his other company. Minho is being patient, it’s only been a month and Jisung wants to go slow, so he’s trying.

“Hello?” Minho answers his phone.

“Hi, Minho-ssi? This is Sooyoung from the cat cafe. I was trying to get a hold of Jisung, but I can’t seem to get through. I wanted to let him know that Jiwon is going to be going back to a shelter since she won’t socialize with any of the other patrons. I know Jisung has been interested in adopting her, so I thought I’d give him a call.”

Minho’s heart drops and he is scrambling around his office looking for his keys, “Okay, when will she be leaving?”

“They’re going to come by at six pm. I know it’s short notice, but I was off the last couple days, and I barely found out.” She sounds apologetic and Minho just wants to give her a hug.

“Thank you for calling, I’m on my way.” Minho grabs his keys and starts walking out of his office.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?” Hyunjin asks, stretching in front of the mirrors before the next class comes in.

“The cat cafe is going to send Jisung’s cat back to the shelter. I have to go get her.” Minho runs his fingers through his hair.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on. You’re not going to adopt this cat for Jisung are you? Hyung, that’s not taking things slow.” Hyunjin runs to grab his arm.

Minho clenches his jaw and lets out a breath. Hyunjin is right, but Jisung loves that cat. He would be devastated if Jiwon gets sent to a shelter and isn’t able to socialize at all. Minho knows he probably shouldn’t do it, but he can’t just let the cat go.

“I know, but Hyunjin, he loves her. I’ll tell him, it’s no strings attached. If he doesn’t want to date me anymore –” Minho swallows, because that just makes him stomach churn, “I won’t have any hard feelings. As long as the cat is happy and is taken care of.”

“But then Jisung will look at the cat and always be reminded of you! I don’t know, hyung, I get the sentiment and trust me, this is super romantic, even for me! But I know how sensitive it is right now with him and I just – hyung, I just want you to be happy, too.” Hyunjin rubs Minho’s arms and looks at him with so much empathy.

Minho nods, “Thanks, I’ll be okay. It’s fine.” He moves towards the door again.

“What if Jisung doesn’t want the cat, anymore? Then what will you do?” Hyunjin pleads.

“Soonie will have a new friend, I guess. I don’t know Hyune, but my gut is telling me I can't let that cat go back to the shelter.” Minho shakes his head and closes the door. He shouldn’t do this. Jisung won’t even walk into Minho’s apartment, that’s how slow they’re taking things. This is insane, but it’s Jisung.

It’s Jisung. Seeing how happy Jisung has been lately, he doesn’t ever want to see him sad again. He knows Jisung turns off his phone when he’s recording with an artist and that’s why the cafe couldn’t get a hold of him. The whole drive, Minho goes back and forth on what to do, but the minute he walks inside, Jiwon jumps off from where she was perched on the highest part of the cat tree and meows at him, winding between his legs.

He reaches down and scratches her head as she purrs into his palm. “I’m taking her.”

Sooyoung sighs a breath of relief and pulls out a clipboard, “Here’s the paperwork.”

Minho puts the cat carrier down in his living room and Soonie is already circling it and sniffing the air. He’s cautious and he can feel the tension. “Soonie, this is Saru, please be nice.”

He opens the cat carrier and Saru tentatively steps out. She looks around and she and Soonie stare at each other. She walks out and sits, waiting. Soonie slowly steps forward and sniffs the air near her face and slowly gets closer. Once he’s gotten a few sniffs, he slinks off to his favorite spot in his cat tree and lays down.

Minho sighs and rolls out the tension in his shoulders. Saru explores the living room a bit before settling on the bed by the window and looking outside. Minho goes into the kitchen and begins preparing dinner when his phone rings and he sees that it’s Jisung.

“Hey, baby –” He’s cut off by Jisung sniffling, “What? What’s wrong?”

“The cafe gave Jiwon back to the shelter and I went to the shelter to see her and they said someone already adopted her.” Jisung sobs.

Minho’s heart aches and then he hears footsteps outside his door.

“Hyung, I’m at your place, can, can I come in?”

Minho runs to the front door and swings it open, Jisung immediately runs into his arms and cries into his chest. Minho just holds him close and closes the door gently, rubbing Jisung’s back.

“Sungie, hey, I uhm, I have a surprise for you.”

Jisung looks up at him with red eyes and a frown, “A surprise?”

There’s a soft meow at their feet and Jisung looks down and his eyes grow twice their size. “What?” He picks up Saru and holds her close to his chest, “What are you doing here?”

Minho rubs the back of his neck, “Sooyoung called me when she couldn’t get a hold of you. So I went and adopted her. I changed her name to Saru, and I thought she could just stay with me until you move, but I know you said you wanted to take things slow, so if this is too much, then I get it if you like don’t want to see me anymore. But no hard feelings, she’s still yours, I just didn’t want you to be sad and she chose you, too so I just –”

Jisung cuts off Minho’s rambling with a hard kiss. Saru is wiggling in Jisung’s arms to be freed and Jisung lets her down before crashing his lips back into Minho’s and pushing him against the wall, “Thank you.” Jisung’s hands are gripping the sides of Minho’s neck and cheeks and he's already licking the back of Minho’s teeth and sucking on his tongue.

When Jisung pulls away, Minho’s head is cloudy with lust and he has to blink a few times before registering the fond look on Jisung’s face, “you’re welcome.”

Jisung giggles and turns back to Saru. He picks her up and goes to sit down on the couch holding her in his arms. Minho leans forward, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. When he stands back up, Jisung is looking around at the pictures on the wall, “your place is really nice.”

Minho walks back into the kitchen and hums, “Are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner.”

Jisung nods and puts Saru in the cat tree. She immediately crawls to Soonie and plops down on top of him. Minho is ready to break up a cat fight, but Soonie just looks at her and goes back to sleep.

“What are you making?”

“Green onion pancakes.”

“Can I help?”

“Sure.” Minho smiles. Jisung washes his hands and Minho hands him the batter to stir. They talk about their days, mindlessly working around each other in Minho’s kitchen. Minho can’t stop smiling at the domesticity of it all. Jisung’s animated hands waving around as he tells Minho about the recording today. He laughs when Jisung flinches the minute Minho starts frying. He feels butterflies in his stomach when Jisung grips his waist hiding behind him. His heart blooms watching Jisung set the table and go over to the cat food to prepare both of their dinners.

“Is this the bowl you got Saru?” Jisung asks, holding up the pink bowl Minho got at the pet store after leaving the cafe.

Minho nods, “We can get her a personalized one like Soonie’s soon.”

Jisung grins and kisses Minho on the cheek before filling up both of the cat bowls. Soonie and Saru run over and wait patiently while Jisung sets their bowls on the ground.

Minho waits for Jisung to eat and he can’t stop thinking about doing this every night. He’s going too fast, he knows he is. But he’s never been more sure of someone in his entire life. Jisung makes him happy, he walked back into his life and instantly made Minho’s brighter. Every day since their blind date, Minho falls harder and harder for Jisung. Maybe he never fell out of love, or maybe he’s falling harder than he did the first time, but he knows he doesn’t want to give him up this time. He doesn’t want to walk away like he did the first time.

Jisung is rubbing his belly when Minho finally says the thing he’s been wanting to say for eight years, “Jisung, I’m sorry.”

Jisung blinks and sits up straight in the chair, “Sorry for what?” It’s almost a whisper, his eyes are instantly sad and Minho hates seeing him sad.

“I’m sorry for the way I left back then.” Minho looks down, his heart laid out on the table in front of him. “I shouldn’t have left like that. And I’m sorry.”

Minho hears Jisung swallow in front of him and he’s too scared to look up.

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have.” Jisung says. “But I forgive you.”

Minho feels tears pool in his eyes and he finally looks up and sees tears in Jisung’s eyes too. “I don’t deserve it.”

Jisung sniffles, “I didn’t think you did either. But I understand why you did. And honestly, I’m glad you did. Because I probably would have resented you if we stayed together. Or you would have resented me. It just wasn’t the right time.”

Minho feels a stray tear roll down his cheek, “I’m so sorry.”

Jisung reaches forward and wipes Minho’s cheek, “It’s okay, Minho hyung.”

✧ ✧ ✧

Minho zips up his bag and looks around the almost empty cabin. All the beds are stripped of their sheets, the closets and drawers are empty and the counters are spotless and clear. He sits on the bare bed and looks around one more time. It’s the end of his last time at camp. In two weeks he’ll be in the barracks in the army.

For six summers he’s come to this camp to focus on dance. He’s learned so many things, met so many people, made so many connections. After he gets out of the army he already has his first gig set up. He takes a deep breath, the smell of the wood filling his senses and stands up, throwing his duffel over his shoulder and walking outside.

Jisung was already there waiting for him by a car. His bag was already thrown into the open trunk along with his guitar. Minho walks up and tosses his bag in, but turns to arms wrapping around him.

“Can’t believe this is your last day.” Taeyoung says.

“I’ll miss you, too hyung.” Minho says, holding on tight.

“I’ll see you when you’re out. The world awaits the dancing jewel.”

Minho hugs him one last time and waves to Doyoung. He climbs into the backseat of the taxi and Jisung intertwines their fingers.

“Ready?”

Minho nods, holding the tears in the back of his eyes. Jisung nods to the driver and they leave the camp behind them. The drive to the campsite isn’t long. Minho’s parents rented the space out for him. It wasn’t traditional tent camping, but they were secluded in the tiny cabin. The inside only had a bed, a toilet shower combo and a fridge. The patio had a grill, a hot plate, pots and pans, and utensils. But it was situated right next to a small lake.

When they arrived, Minho immediately went to check for what they needed to buy at the store, but to his surprise, his parents already stocked the fridge and brought some other essentials. Jisung unpacked their bags and Minho got started on the fire.

They didn’t talk much. Minho is grateful because Jisung knew to give him some space. He never really liked saying goodbye, and he thinks Jisung is the same. Minho grills some meat for them and Jisung makes rice. They sit by the campfire and have dinner silently, before roasting some marshmallows and looking up at the stars.

It’s everything Minho could ask for and his heart feels heavy in his chest knowing Jisung is there with him. The couple weeks they skirted along the lines of what will happen next. Jisung still didn’t get any offers for an internship, so Minho isn’t entirely sure what will happen after Minho goes off to the military. They don’t talk about it.

But the inevitable is coming and Minho doesn’t want it to end. It’s cruel really. Minho finally met someone who understands him, gives him space when he needs it, kisses him like he’s the only person in the world, can talk to him for hours on end and not get tired. Just for them to have a deadline. An ending.

“Hyung?”

Minho hums, still looking up at the sky.

“I, uhm, I got you something.”

Minho turns to look at him and Jisung is staring at him with those beautiful brown eyes. His knees hugged close to his chest in the camping chair and he’s holding something in his hands.

Minho leans forward and smiles, “You didn’t need to get me anything, baby.”

“I know, but I wanted to.” Jisung holds out a closed palm and Minho holds his hand out. Jisung drops a beaded bracelet into his hand, “It’s a volcanic bead bracelet. I made it.”

Minho holds the bracelet close and inspects the beads and the carvings in each one. He feels his chest constrict and he can’t pin this feeling he’s never felt before, “Sungie, I love it.”

“I have a matching one. So you can always remember me when you’re, you know.” Jisung trails off.

“Gone?” Minho whispers.

“But we’ll still talk, right? We’re not gonna break up, right?” Jisung’s voice is small.

Minho swallows around the lump in his throat, he hates seeing Jisung sad. “I, uhm, I don’t know.”

“I got an internship here! I’m not going back to Malaysia, I'm gonna stay here and go to university and work.” Jisung sits up, his eyes are pleading. “We don’t have to, because I’ll still be here. And we can still see each other on the weekends and it’ll all be okay, right hyung?”

“You got an internship? That’s amazing, babe.” Minho holds his arms out and Jisung crawls into his lap. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jisung nuzzles into his neck, “But it’s in Busan.”

Minho nods, “Still, that’s amazing.”

“The train from the military camp to Busan is only four hours. And I can take the train up on Saturday morning and stay until Sunday afternoon.”

Minho looks up at the stars again, “I don’t know what my schedule is gonna look like, baby.” He hears Jisung sniffle and he pulls him closer to his chest. “Hey, it’s the first day of camping, let’s not think about it yet.”

Jisung nods, but Minho can feel the wetness on his chest from Jisung’s tears. He pulls him closer resting his cheek on the top of his head, “Jisung.”

Jisung looks up at him with wet cheeks.

“I love you.” Minho whispers.

Tears well up in Jisung’s eyes and they cascade down the corners, “I love you, too.”

Minho presses a soft kiss on Jisung’s forehead and leans into him, “I’m scared.”

“Me too.” Jisung gets up and starts walking inside to the cabin, “Come to bed.”

Minho nods, “I’m just gonna clean up and put the fire out.” Jisung walks inside and Minho can hear the shower turn on. He cleans up the plates, locks everything up and puts out the fire. He watches as the smoke lifts into the dark sky, surrounded by the glow of the stars.

The shower is off by the time Minho steps in, Jisung is drying his hair on the bed, his eyes still red-rimmed. Minho takes the time to shower and brush his teeth. Jisung is in the corner of the bed under the covers when Minho emerges. He only has a towel around his waist and he goes towards the drawers to get some clothes when Jisung calls out to him.

“Wait.”

Minho can feel his heart beating hard in his chest, but he turns to Jisung anyway. His bottom lip is bitten raw and he can see that he isn’t wearing a shirt. Probably isn’t wearing anything under the blankets. Minho’s hands are trembling, but he walks towards the bed anyway. He turns off the side lamp and lets the darkness consume them.

The towel drops to the floor and Minho lifts the covers to crawl into the bed. The sheets are cold against his bare skin, but Jisung reaches for him, his touch searingly hot. Minho reaches out, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness and he’s met with bare skin on Jisung’s waist. He crawls over to him and he can feel all of Jisung against him.

“Hyung,” Jisung whispers, “I want you.”

Minho presses a kiss to Jisung’s nose, “Are you sure?”

Jisung shudders underneath Minho, “Yeah, I want it to be you.”

Minho’s breath is shaky as his eyes finally adjust. Jisung is looking up at him, his hands warm on his shoulders. He’s so beautiful, sweet, and innocent. He feels Jisung nudging his thigh with his knee and Minho lifts up. Jisung opens his legs and pulls Minho on top of him. The tip of Minho’s half hard dick rubs against Jisung’s and they both gasp from the contact.

“I’ve never, Sung, I don’t –”

“Me either, but do you want me, too?”

Minho sighs and leans forward, letting their bodies become flush, “More than anything.” He connects their lips and feels one of Jisung’s hands caress his back, the other going straight to the back of his head and carding through his hair. They’re both hard now, aching between their stomachs. The friction is like nothing Minho has ever felt as they both buck into each other like they do with their clothes on.

Jisung gasps and Minho trails kisses down his jaw and onto his neck.

“Mark me, make me yours.” Jisung whines. Minho does as he’s told and sucks bruise after bruise on Jisung’s soft, honey skin. He travels lower, taking Jisung’s nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue.

Jisung whines, his hips bucking up harder. The hand that was in Minho’s hair leaves and reaches for something on the side table, “Hyung I can’t reach it.”

Minho looks up, “Reach what?”

“The lube.”

Minho looks at where Jisung is reaching and sees Minho’s bottle of lube and condoms on the table. He laughs, “How did I not notice that before?” He reaches for it and sits up opening up the bottle.

Jisung laughs, “Too busy being in your own head.”

Minho looks at the lube and down at Jisung again. He’s getting the full view now. Jisung’s legs spread on either side of him, his sinfully tiny waist, broad shoulders and bulging biceps. His collarbone now decorated with bruises and his beautiful doe eyes. Minho leans forward again and captures Jisung’s lips, “you’re so beautiful.”

Jisung whines, “Please hyung.”

“Have you ever fingered yourself?”

Jisung nods, “Yeah, I kind of already opened myself up in the bathroom. But I was trying to be fast, so I don’t think I’m stretched enough.”

Minho gasps as Jisung takes his dick in his hand and slowly pumps, “You’re so big, hyung. What if it doesn’t fit?”

Minho moans against Jisung’s neck, “I don’t want to hurt you, you’ll tell me to stop if I do, right?”

Jisung nods, his breathing is already shaky and they’re both already sweating. Minho’s hands tremble as he squirts out some lube onto his fingers, warming it up before teasing’s Jisung’s rim.

Minho pushes in and Jisung gasps, his hands gripping Minho’s shoulders tight. Minho trembles, “Are you okay?”

Jisung nods, pulling Minho’s lips to his. Minho stays there, pumping one finger and kissing Jisung slowly. He adds another and Jisung bites down on his lip, but then relaxes and continues to slowly move his mouth. A third and Jisung winces again until he’s bucking his hips up and breathing into Minho’s mouth, “okay, I’m ready.”

Minho sits up on his knees and reaches for the condom.

“No. I want to feel all of you.” Jisung swats it away.

Minho nods, and adds more lube to his own neglected cock. He moans at the glide of his fist over himself and looks down at Jisung, also lazily pumping his own red, leaking dick. Minho leans forward and kisses Jisung again, his tip grazing Jisung’s hole.

“I love you, Jisungie.” Minho whispers.

“I love you too, Minho.”

Minho pushes in until his head catches on Jisung’s rim. Jisung puts a hand to Minho’s stomach, stopping him, “Hold on.” Minho waits until Jisung’s hand moves away and he pushes in slowly, letting Jisung get used to the stretch. Once he’s all the way inside, Minho rests both elbows on either side of Jisung’s head and breathes heavily into Jisung’s neck, “you feel so good.”

It’s overwhelming. He’s surrounded by warmth and every little movement sends electric shocks through his body. Jisung moans as Minho slowly pulls out and pushes back in. It’s a beautiful sound, something Minho will never forget.

“How does it feel?” Minho pants.

“Fucking amazing, I feel so full. Fuck baby, you feel so good.” Jisung whines.

Minho can feel his orgasm coming fast, it coiling in his stomach, Jisung’s whines and moans urging him on, “I’m so close, baby, I’m gonna cum.” Minho moans loudly as he thrusts into Jisung hard. He buries deeper inside and sees white behind his eyelids. Jisung moans and Minho wraps around his dick and pumps until Jisung tenses underneath him and cums all over his hand.

“Wow, fuck.” Jisung sighs, coming down from his own high.

Minho laughs, “Yeah.”

“I see what all the hype is about.” Jisung giggles.

Minho laughs and pulls out slowly, “Come on, let's clean up.”

Jisung pulls Minho’s face back to him, “Can we do it again?”

Minho cocks twitches, “Yeah.” Jisung pushes Minho onto his back and kisses his neck. They do it again and again until they’re both panting and spent. When the morning comes, Minho looks over at Jisung sleeping next to him peacefully. The light shows all the bruises on his neck and chest and his cheeks are still pink.

Then reality sets in and again he’s reminded of their deadline. He doesn’t want to leave. His throat starts to close up as tears fill his eyes. He loves Jisung, he loves him so much he gave the very last piece of him. Jisung’s eyes blink open and he reaches for Minho.

“Hyungie?”

“Sung.” Minho’s voice is broken and Jisung’s eyes snap open and he’s by his side in a flash wiping away his tears.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what? Hyungie, you’re scaring me.”

“I love you, but I have to leave you.” Minho sobs.

Jisung shakes his head, “No, no, we’ll be okay, we’re gonna figure it out, we’re gonna make it work, right? Right, baby?” Jisung’s own tears start to fall.

Minho shakes his head, “I don’t think we can.”

“No! I love you, Minho, I love you. Don’t go. Stay with me, please.” Jisung’s voice is desperate now. “We, we, we still have two weeks. It’s okay. We can talk about it.”

Minho wipes Jisung’s tears, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“What? No, don’t give up. Don’t give up on me, please. Please, hyung. I, I gave you all of me. I don’t want you to go. Please, I love you. Don’t you love me? You love me right? You weren’t just using me? Right?” Jisung is panicking. He’s starting to hyperventilate.

“No baby, no, I love you. I love you so much. I do, come on, breathe with me.” Minho sits up and pulls Jisung into his lap. “Let’s count?”

Jisung shakes his head, “O-o-one, t-t-two, th-three, four, five, s-six, seven, e-eight, nine, ten.”

Minho nods, “Good job, I love you, I would never use you, I love you, I love you so much it hurts.”

Jisung sobs, “Then why are you breaking up with me?”

Minho holds Jisung close. He holds in his sobs and bites his lip to keep the sounds in his throat. It won’t work, Jisung will be four hours away, Minho doesn’t know what his schedule is gonna be or what training is life. Jisung will be so busy at his internship and university that he shouldn’t have a distraction.

It won’t work. Minho knew this. He knew it from the beginning, but he still did it. He still kissed Jisung, let Jisung fall in love with him, he held him in his arms, he took him apart in bed and he told him he loved him. He strung him along knowing it was going to lead nowhere.

All of this is Minho’s fault. Now Jisung will have a broken heart and his innocence and brightness will fade. It’s all his fault.

“I’m so sorry.” Minho chokes, his own sobs wracking through the cabin. “I’m so sorry.”

Jisung wraps his arms around Minho’s back and holds him with a death grip. They’re both sobbing and Minho doesn’t know what to do.

They lay in bed all day, Jisung drifts in and out of sleep from exhaustion. Minho makes them soup and they eat in silence. Nighttime comes and Minho holds Jisung as he falls asleep.

They try to enjoy the rest of their time there. Minho takes Jisung fishing and hiking. They cook together and sleep together. They make love and kiss until they fall asleep.

But the days tick down and Minho can feel the tension between them. Jisung gets fidgety, more clingy. Minho can’t keep still and the days dwindle until it’s two days before they have to leave.

Minho doesn’t think he can do it. He can’t watch Jisung get into another car and drive away from him. Honestly he doesn’t think Jisung can do the same. Minho holds Jisung hand as he rocks into him, kissing his neck and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. They cry together and Minho holds Jisung close as they both reach their highs.

After cleaning them both up, Minho holds Jisung in his arms, “I love you, forever.”

Once he knows Jisung is sleeping, he slips out of bed and fills his duffel bag with his clothes as quietly as he can.

He leaves a note on the side table letting Jisung know that he loves him, and that he’ll never forget him. Minho kisses Jisung’s forehead one last time before opening the door and slipping out into the night. Tears stream down his face as he walks to the end of the campgrounds, a car already there waiting to take him to his parents’ house.

He looks at his phone one last time, before chucking it into the lake. It’s not until he walks into his childhood home, his mother walking out into the living room and looking at him when he finally drops to his knees and sobs.

✧ ✧ ✧

Minho jolts awake, sweat dripping down the sides of his face. His shirt is damp with sweat and his mouth feels like cotton. Soonie and Saru look up at him from the end of the bed and he gets up to walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

He drinks the entire glass before checking the clock on the stove. It’s almost two am. Minho stretches out his neck and rolls his shoulders. His body feels weak from built up tension. He had another nightmare. Even though things with Jisung have been great, he can’t shake the feeling.

Jisung forgave him. He said it over and over the night he brought Saru home. Jisung stayed the night and they slept together, just holding each other close. Ever since then, Jisung has invited Minho over and they’ve cuddled on the couch and watched movies. They’ve slept in each other’s beds. They bought small Christmas trees and decorated each other's houses. They dressed Soonie and Saru up as elves and took pictures to send off to their friends and family. Everything is going great.

But Minho can’t shake it. He knows the only way he’ll get over it is if he forgives himself. Minho picks up his phone from his nightstand and stares at his background. It’s a picture of Jisung holding Soonie and Saru. His big heart shaped smile, and big cheeks. He’s so beautiful.

Minho
You’re beautiful.

Minho sets his phone down and goes to rinse off his sticky sweat. Once he returns he sees a message from Jisung:

Jisung
Can’t sleep?

Minho
No, I miss you.

Jisung
You’ll see me in like five hours
Stage five clinger.

Minho
Fine, I don’t miss you.
Wait, why aren’t you sleeping?

Jisung
I had a nightmare. Got up to drink some tea.

Minho frowns. The first time Minho slept over, Jisung had a nightmare. He was crying in his sleep and he woke up screaming. Minho tried to ask what’s wrong, but Jisung just waved him off. After that, he only had it one other time, but he never talks about it.

Minho
Do you want to talk about it?

He knows Jisung will say no and to not worry about it. But he always asks, just in case.

Jisung
Maybe later, after the party.

Minho stares at the message and takes a deep breath.

Minho
Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be here for you.

Jisung
Thanks, hyung.
Try to sleep, okay? I’ll see you soon.
Goodnight.

Minho
Goodnight, Jisungie.

Minho lays in bed, his mind racing with thoughts. He tosses in bed for another thirty minutes when there’s a knock on the door. Minho shoots up and walks over to the front door and looks through the peep hole.

“Baby, what are you doing here, it’s almost 3am.” Minho says, opening the door and pulling Jisung inside.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Jisung pouts.

Minho kisses his forehead and leads him to the bedroom. Jisung pats Soonie and Saru’s heads as they jump off and go to sleep on the bed by the window together. Jisung slips under the covers and holds the blanket up for Minho to join him. Minho slides an arm under Jisung’s neck and pulls him close to cuddle.

“Better?” Minho asks, kissing Jisung’s forehead again.

“Mhm.” Jisung nuzzles into Minho’s neck.

Minho lays there staring out the window, lightly rubbing Jisung’s back.

“I was abused.” Jisung says.

Minho freezes, his hand is just idly stopped on Jisung’s back and he turns his head to look at Jisung.

Jisung swallows and lets out a breath, “My ex was the head producer at my old company. I had just signed a two year contract and he was showing me the ropes. He was cute, funny. I thought we had a good connection.”

Minho shifts and moves Jisung so he can look him in the eyes.

“One thing led to another and we started dating. It was fun and things moved fast. I ended up moving in with him after like six months, but then things changed. He started telling me my songs sucked. Said my singing was subpar, made me rethink and reanalyze all of my music. Then at home it was worse, he would call me worthless, lazy, tell me I was a nobody.”

Minho can feel his skin start to boil. Jisung isn’t crying, his voice is so monotone like he’s void of emotion, his Jisung, void of emotion.

“I tried to break up with him and move out, but he threatened me. Said he’d end my career, make sure I never write another song again. He’s a famous producer, and I had nowhere else to go. I was scared and so I stayed.” Jisung averts his eyes and bites his lip. “He really made me think I was worthless.”

Minho sits up and takes a deep breath. He needs to calm down. Jisung doesn’t need a hero right now, he just needs someone to listen.

A hand goes to Minho’s back and it’s shaking. Minho reaches for Jisung and pulls him up and holds him, “I’m sorry, go on. I’m listening. I promise.”

Jisung nods, “my contract finally ended and I ran away. Most of my stuff I had to leave behind, but I got my valuables. I was in a hotel when he found me.” Jisung chokes, “thankfully the doorman didn’t let him in. I ended up calling the cops and getting a lawyer. Now I have a restraining order, but I have to go to therapy.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to go too fast. I’m still gaining my confidence back, and working on my insecurities. Sometimes I still feel worthless, but I try to think of positive things. I want to be able to give you all the love you give me. So I’m trying.”

Minho squeezes Jisung in his arms and kisses the crown of his head. “You’re so brave, Jisung. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for telling me, thank you for trusting me.”

“Hyung, I’m falling for you again and I’m scared.” Jisung whispers. “You aren’t gonna leave me again right? You aren’t gonna think I’m worthless?”

This is what Minho was afraid of. This is why it’s so hard for him to forgive himself. Because Jisung is scared of him leaving. And he has every right to be. Minho left him in the middle of the night all those years ago. And now Jisung is still afraid.

Minho tips Jisung’s chin up, “I’m never leaving you, again. You’ll have to leave me if you don’t want this anymore. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I would never think you’re worthless, Jisung. You’re so brave and so kind. You bring brightness to every room, and you’re so beautiful. Baby, you’re so, so beautiful. I’m sorry I make you feel like this isn’t a secure place. I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m not gonna leave. I’m falling for you, too. Actually, I don’t know if I ever stopped.”

Jisung connects their foreheads, “I trust you. I do, I trust you. Be patient with me. I’m getting better. Being with you is making me better. You make me feel loved. You make me feel good.”

Minho hugs Jisung tight, he buries his face in his neck drinking in the smell of his shampoo and his natural scent. He lays them back down in the bed and Jisung buries his face in Minho’s chest.

“I feel better.” Jisung mumbles.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, talking to you about this makes me feel better.” Jisung sighs, looking up at Minho.

Minho wipes Jisung’s eyes, “I’ll always be here for you.”

Jisung smiles and scoots up to press a kiss to Minho’s lips. He stays there, his mouth moving slowly over Minho’s. It’s soft and sweet and Jisung grabs Minho’s shirt and moves to straddle him on the bed.

“I want you.” Jisung whispers.

Minho moans, “are you sure, baby? I can wait. I’m not in a rush.”

Jisung shakes his head, “no, I want you now.”

Jisung grinds down and Minho whines at the friction of his dick against Jisung’s ass. “Tonight, tonight baby. You’re vulnerable right now, I don’t want you to regret it.” Minho stops Jisung’s hip.

“You’re too good for me.” Jisung sighs.

Minho shakes his head, “No, I’m an idiot with a sexy ass man in my lap and turning him down.”

Jisung giggles and moves to lay down next to Minho. He rests his head on Minho’s shoulder and looks up at him with pretty doe eyes, “your dick is half hard.”

Minho snorts, “great observation.”

“I miss your dick. You’re so much bigger than my ex.”

“Please don’t talk about that sorry excuse of a man while laying in my bed. Also thank you for helping me go instantly soft.” Minho groans.

Jisung laughs, “sorry.”

“What’s his name by the way?”

“Sunwoo. Park Sunwoo.”

Minho scoffs, “If I ever —“

“He can’t come within 25 meters of me.” Jisung says, “it’s okay, baby, I know you’ll beat his ass and be my hero, but let’s not get into fights.”

Minho rolls his eyes, “fine. But I’m just saying, if he ever —“

“You’ll beat his ass. Got it. But really the only pounding I need from you, is when I’m bent over presenting myself. Okay?”

Minho chuckles, “yes, darling.”

Jisung sighs and settles next to Minho again, “much better.”

Minho rolls over and tickles Jisung until he begs for him to stop. He pulls him close and buries into his neck, “goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight, love.” Jisung kisses Minho’s forehead and rests his cheek on the top of his head.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Merry Christmas!” Hyunjin yells, opening the door.

Minho blinks and pushes through, “Move, this Beef Wellington is heavy.” Jisung giggles behind him and he hears Hyunjin scoff and say, “It’s not too late to run away, he’s crazy, you know.”

Jisung laughs, “I kinda like crazy.”

Minho smirks as he walks to the dining table to put down his dish. Changbin comes in from the garage and claps his shoulder, “Merry Christmas.”

Minho nods and does his rounds. He brings Jisung along with him and they say hello to all of their friends. Changbin and Hyunjin’s parties are usually pretty big. Both of them are so social they tend to make friends everywhere they go. A few of Changbin and Minho’s friends from college come. Some of Hyunjin’s art friends stop by. Jisung sits with Felix most of the time, occasionally getting up to say hello to a few of Minho’s friends.

“Pretty boy toy you brought tonight, Min. Looking for a third?” Wooyoung nudges.

Changbin snorts, “Gotta be a duo first before adding a third.”

Minho glares. He glances at Jisung who’s staring at the three of them talking. Minho gives him a little kitten smile before frowning at his best friend, “Shut up.”

“You haven’t locked that down yet?” Wooyoung looks at Jisung again and waves, “Let me hit.”

Minho narrows his eyes, “Where’s San?”

“We’re on a little break. He pissed me off at his little fashion show.” Wooyoung checks his nails.

“As in, he just existed and that made you mad that people were staring at him.” Changbin laughs. “Don’t worry hyung, they’ll be back together tonight when Wooyoung gets home and San is there in an elf costume. This happens every year.”

Wooyoung smirks, “He does look good in an elf costume.”

Minho shakes his head and walks towards Jisung. He leans against the wall where Jisung is sitting and puts an arm around his shoulder.

“What were you guys talking about?” Jisung asks.

“Wooyoung wants to be our third.” Minho smirks.

“Hmm, I don’t like to share.” Jisung sips his drink.

“Me either.” Minho kisses the top of his head and listens in on Felix’s story about his kindergarteners. It’s like that the rest of the night. They laugh and talk with friends. Eat good food and spend the party learning new anecdotes about one another.

Minho can’t keep his eyes off of Jisung. Throughout the evening he finds himself gravitating towards him. Always wanting to have an arm around him, always wanting to be close.

Jisung is back to his old self again. Confident, loud, funny and outgoing. He’s shining brighter than ever. He isn’t trying to impress anyone or be the center of attention, he’s just being himself. And Minho loves every piece of him.

A puppy looking man followed by a fox faced man come in and Jisung instantly lights up, “Seungmin! Jeongin!” The other two see Jisung and smile big as they come towards him wrapping him in a big hug.

“Jisung! Where’ve you been?” The puppy man Minho thinks is Seungmin says.

“I moved to a new studio. I had to take about six months off between, but I started back up at this new place eight months ago. Damn, how’ve you guys been?”

The other boy speak up, “we’ve been doing alright. Missed our favorite songwriter and producer though.”

Jisung smiles and looks around, “wait how do you know Changbin.”

“We just started recording at his studio, had I known you were there, though…” Seungmin trails grinning at Changbin.

“Hey!” Changbin raises a fist.

Jisung giggles and settles in next to the two of them as they catch up. Minho waits to see if Jisung will introduce him, but Jisung doesn’t even look his way.

Minho swallows around the lump in his throat and just swirls the beer around in his cup. Jisung doesn’t necessarily need to introduce them. Technically they haven’t gone official and Minho hasn’t called him his boyfriend to any of his friends. But it still stings a little.

Chan puts an arm around Minho’s shoulders and squeezes, “he’s just excited to see some people he recognizes. He’ll introduce you, don’t worry.”

Minho snorts, “nah it’s fine. I’m not bothered.” He drinks the rest of his beer and gets up. “I’m gonna get some air.” He walks towards the front door and shrugs on his coat and quietly slips out the front door.

The air is crisp and chilly. There’s no wind tonight which adds to the serenity of the winter evening. Minho looks up at the stars. The light pollution’s drowns out their true beauty, but they’re still there shining bright around him.

There’s a bench across the street at the park under a giant tree. It looks a lot like the one Jisung and Minho spent their days under back in camp. All of their Naruto fights, soft kisses and whispered promises. Nostalgia fills his heart thinking back to the sweet innocent boy Minho fell in love with.

He’ll never forget the way Jisung would cling to his arm or rest his head on his shoulder. The way Jisung would smile at him from the stage when he would present his songs. The look on Jisung’s face watching Minho dance during the recital or at practice.

This young boy who braved a whole new world at 18 years old to follow his dreams. The same young boy who trusted Minho with his deepest secrets, and gave him every part of him, his first everything. Then eight years later, forgave Minho for the biggest mistake he ever made.

Minho kicks at the dirt in front of him, forgiveness is hard, especially to yourself. But Jisung trusted Minho again. Trusted him with his trauma, to not be judged or chastised. And for the second time, Jisung trusted him with his heart. Gave it to him whole after being broken too many times.

The only way Minho will be able to protect him, keep him safe, show him the love he deserves, is to forgive himself. Rid himself of the guilt he’s carried for years, and finally let all of his walls down.

“You know you promised you’d never leave me again.”

Minho turns around and sees Jisung smiling at him, wrapped up in his puffer jacket with a scarf around his neck. “I’m just getting some air. Letting you catch up with your friends.”

“I turned to look for you so I could introduce you just to panic because you weren’t there. Felix told me he saw you go outside.”

Minho clenches his jaw and steps towards Jisung. He cups his jaw and runs his thumb over his soft cheek, “I’ll never leave you again.”

Jisung leans into his hand and holds it with his own, “Hyungie, come meet my friends.”

Minho nods and leans in to press his lips to Jisung’s. “I love you.”

Jisung smiles into their kiss, “I love you, too.”

“This isn’t taking things slow.” Minho wraps an arm around Jisung’s waist pulling him closer.

Jisung shrugs, “I’ve waited eight years, seems slow enough to me.”

They kiss more. The lights around them twinkling and the soft sound of Christmas music filling the quiet night. Jisung’s hand in Minho’s hair, Minho’s hands on Jisung waist. He holds Jisung in his arms and lets all of the guilt go. Finally forgiving himself and letting him love Jisung with all he has.

✧ ✧ ✧

Minho threads his hand through Jisung’s hair, “Fuck, baby.” Jisung had Minho’s tip already grazing the back of his throat. Spit pooling at the base and twisting his hand upwards with every bob of his head. Minho moans into the pillow as Jisung gives the best blowjob he’s ever had in his life.

He pulls on Jisung’s hair to lift him up, “Come here.” Jisung crawls on top of him, but Minho spins him around and pulls Jisung's ass over his face. Jisung braces his knees on either side of Minho's head and leans back down to take his cock back into his mouth. Minho spits on Jisung’s hole and laps it up with his tongue, making Jisung moan on his cock. The vibrations send shivers up Minho’s spine.

Minho tests Jisung’s tightness and pushes his tongue inside. Jisung sits up, holding himself up with his hands on Minho’s chest, moaning loudly. “Mmm, that feels good.”

Jisung wraps a hand around Minho’s dick and pumps just as Minho adds a finger next to his tongue. Minho gets drunk off the noises coming out of Jisung’s mouth as he opens him up. His cock leaking hard on his stomach and Jisung’s tongue licking it up every dribble of precum.

“Okay, okay.” Jisung lifts his hips and Minho chases after him, “Baby, I want to ride you.” Jisung spins around, but almost loses his balance and his face hits Minho’s neck.

Minho laughs, “Bambi legs.”

“Shut up, my legs are already shaking.”

“Are you sure you want to ride, then?”

Jisung positions himself over Minho and grabs the lube. He slicks him up, lines up and slowly sinks down. Minho sucks in a breath as he’s engulfed in Jisung’s tight heat. His legs shake from pleasure watching himself disappear inside of his lover. He looks up and Jisung’s head is thrown back, his mouth open and panting.

“You’re so beautiful. So sexy, so incredible.” Minho whispers, reaching up and rubbing his thumbs over Jisung’s hard nipples.

Jisung whines and slowly creates a rhythm, grinding his hips upwards every time he sinks down. It’s almost euphoric. Minho watches Jisung’s hair stick to his forehead, his cheeks burn pink from the exertion and his abs contract every time he lifts up.

Jisung leans back, his hands on Minho’s thighs as he plants his feet on the bed and bounces faster on Minho’s cock.

“Sung, oh fuck, Sungie.” Minho moans. Jisung’s cock bounces in front of him, hard and leaking, he reaches out to stroke him. Jisung swats his hand away and shakes his head, “No, I’m gonna cum if you do that. Want to make it last.”

Minho whines, his own body threatening to betray him with release. He slows Jisung’s hips, sits up and pulls Jisung to him. He wraps Jisung’s arms around his shoulders and plants his feet on the bed to grind upwards.

Jisung gasps into Minho’s mouth, “Right there, please, don’t stop.” One of Jisung’s hands pulls on the hair at the base of Minho’s neck, the other scratches at Minho’s back. Minho grinds harder and deeper and Jisung throws his head back, with a squeaky moan. His thighs shake and his dick spurts out more precum between them.

“Lay down.” Minho instructs, grabbing onto Jisung’s waist and laying him on his side. Jisung’s eyes are already half lidded, his chest and back shiny with sweat. Minho straddles one of Jisung’s legs and lifts the other onto his shoulder. He pushes in, and rolls his hips in a steady rhythm.

Jisung bites the pillow and reaches out to grab Minho’s ass. “Fucking dancer hips.” Jisung moans drool pooling on the pillow.

“You’re everything. You’re so fucking pretty. My baby is so pretty.” Minho praises.

Jisung whines, “you’re gonna make me cum.”

“That’s the point, honey.” Minho chuckles.

“No, I don’t want to yet.” Jisung gasps as Minho hits his prostate.

“Why? We have all night.”

Jisung contemplates that sentence and then reaches forward to stop Minho’s thrusts, “Come here.”

Minho drops Jisung’s leg and situates himself between them, he pushes in and then leans forward to connect their lips. Jisung wraps an arm around Minho’s shoulder, and grabs one of Minho’s hands, intertwining their fingers, “Like this. I wanna cum like this.”

Fondness swirls in his gut, it’s the same position they were in the last time they had sex in the cabin. Minho licks into Jisung’s mouth and rolls into him. Their moans get lost in each other’s mouths and Minho can feel emotion building in his throat. His eyes turn glossy and he pulls away and sees tears falling out of Jisung’s eyes and down his temples.

Jisung connects their foreheads, “I love you.”

“I love you so much, Jisung. You have no idea.” Minho whispers. He connects their mouths again, his orgasm building higher and higher in his groin.

Jisung trembles underneath him and he clenches, cum painting their chests white. Minho thrusts two more times, before seeing white and biting down on Jisung’s shoulder. He groans, rolling his hips into him, burying his cum deeper into him. His body shudders and he feels Jisung’s hands softly rubbing his back.

Minho trails kisses up Jisung’s jaws to his lips, “Still the best I’ve ever had.”

Jisung giggles, “Me too.”

Minho pulls out, his dick already softening inside of Jisung. He pulls Jisung up, carries him bridal style to the bath and turns on the water. He runs his hands through Jisung’s hair, massages his body and kisses him every chance he gets. Jisung rides him again in the bath, the water sloshing over the rim onto the tile floor.

They lay in bed afterwards, arms and legs intertwined, their faces inches away from each other. Jisung swipes his thumb over Minho’s cheek, “Did you give Changbin his gift?”

Minho nods, “I think Hyunjin will get more use out of it than Changbin, but it’s the sentiment that counts.”

Jisung swats Minho’s shoulder, “Not the panties! The plane tickets.”

Minho laughs, “yes, love. He is very excited to go to Italy.”

“It’s the least we could do. He did set us up.” Jisung smiles.

Minho brushes Jisung’s hair behind his ear, “Yeah, but I’m sure I would have found you again, even if he didn’t.”

Jisung smiles, “Oh really? What took you so long?”

“I wasn’t ready yet. It wasn’t the right time.”

Minho pulls away and opens up his side drawer. He pulls out the beaded bracelet Jisung gave him eight years ago and holds it in his hand. Jisung picks it up lightly, looking at each bead with fond eyes, “Mine broke.”

“Then we’ll need to get new ones.”

Jisung slides the bracelet onto Minho's wrist, “Can we go to Jeju?”

“Anything, anywhere. Whatever you want.”

“You spoil me.” Jisung smirks, nuzzling into Minho’s neck.

“Yeah, you make me want to spoil you.”

Jisung laughs and kisses Minho’s neck. The night sky is littered with stars. The weather is perfect, no wind, still and crisp. The next morning, Minho and Jisung lay around on the couch wrapped up in a cozy blanket, watching horror movies with Saru and Soonie. As Jisung lays on his chest on the couch, drifting asleep in the middle of a poorly made film, Minho cards his fingers through his hair. Maybe Christmas just became his favorite holiday.