Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2017-09-25/Humour
Humour
Chickenz
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Dad's not happy – he had to stay home and watch the kids.
Chickenz are the most common type of poultry in the world, clucking in at about 19 billion.[1][2] In contrast, there are only 7.5 billion people alive right now.[3] This comes to about 2.5 chickens per human, clearly we are outnumbered.[4] We should be concerned. Since perhaps only knowledgeable Wikipedians know this now, many editors have already developed Alektorophobia.[5] Signs of unrest continue to come in.[6][7][8][9][10][11][12] Much of the anger coming from hens, capons, chicks and roosters is associated with the Wikipedia articles which cast them as buffons and simpletons. These include:
Can you tell the girls and boys apart?
ummm...why are we doing this?
- Chicken eyeglasses – Tiny spectacles for chicks, to stop them from seeing red.
- Spooky stories – that roosters tell their chicks.
- Exploitation of chickens – Humans disrupt the development of very young chickens and then hide them under the bushes in the backyard. After this, they try to blame a rabbit for the crime. Deceiving little children is part of this ritual.
- Chicken Dance, Chicken (dance) – There is a huge difference.
- Chicken gun – Valuable for the mitigation of damage from bird strikes. The chicken carcass must be thawed first, though.
- Chicken hypnotism – Have you ever wanted to hypnotize a chicken? If not, why not?
- Foghorn Leghorn – "That's a joke, ah say, that's a joke, son."
- Egghead – Never thought Uncle Foghorn was funny.
- Chicken or the egg – Which came first? Leave comments below.
- Blame the chickens – Chickens initial and feeble attempt to annihilate humans.
- Chicken sexer – A person who has been specially trained to determine the gender of chicken hatchlings.
- Chicken Powered Nuclear Bomb – A British project to lay nuclear mines in West Germany during the Cold War
- Empathy in chickens – Have some empathy when eating crunchy little tykes.
- Hollywood Freeway chickens – A colony of feral chickens that have been living underneath a highway off-ramp since 1970.
- Mike the Headless Chicken – A rooster that lived for 18 months with its head cut off.
- Tastes like chicken – But baked, grilled, or fried?
- Chicken and duck blood soup – Heads and feet included.
- Ernie the Giant Chicken – TV chicken of fame.
- Cannibalism in poultry See: tastes like chicken.
- Henny Penny – A chicken's contribution to the English language and the idiom indicating a hysterical or mistaken belief that disaster is imminent.
- The Little Red Hen – the first female entre-hen-neur.
- What is the Primary postulate – the answer to this is the bedrock for all western philosophy.
See also
References
- ^ UN's Food and Agriculture Organisation reported in the Economist: [1].
- ^ "FAOSTAT: Production_LivestockPrimary_E_All_Data". Food and Agriculture Organization. 2014. Retrieved 14 March 2017.
- ^ "World Population Prospects – Population Division – United Nations". esa.un.org. Retrieved 2016-09-15.
- ^ 19/7.5 = 2.5
- ^ This article only exists as a redirect to the fear of birds. The fear of chickens has yet to be described on wikipedia.
- ^ "Rooster attacks, fatally wounds 2-yr-old boy – Times of India".
- ^ "Psychotic rooster attacks defenceless girl in garden in dramatic and hilarious video". 25 November 2016.
- ^ Boult, Adam (28 December 2016). "Trump rooster statue erected in China" – via www.telegraph.co.uk.
- ^ "Rooster attacks, pecks kid to death". 5 August 2014.
- ^ EndPlay (20 November 2014). "Oviedo rooster cooped up after attacking town postmaster".
- ^ "Cock-a-doodle-don't: Ocean Springs rooster attacked toddler, mother says".
- ^ Short, Daniel (10 August 2017). "Roosters expose TAC Cup players".
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