Talk:Galeb-class minelayer/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Biblioworm in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Biblioworm (talk · contribs) 01:47, 8 August 2016 (UTC)
Trying to help clear the MilHist GA backlog, so I'll do this one. Biblio (talk) Reform project. 02:09, 8 August 2016 (UTC)
Description and construction
editThe Galeb-class were built as 1916-designed M 1-class minesweepers by a three German shipbuilding yards during 1917–19.
- "were" -> "was"; remove "a" (between "by" and "three"Their German designations and builders were; M 97, M 100 and M 112 — Tecklenborg, Geestemünde, M 106 — Reiherstieg, Hamburg, M 121 and M144 — Neptun, Rostock.
- Reorganize: "Their German designations and builders were: M 97, M 100 and M 112 — Tecklenborg, Geestemünde; M 106 — Reiherstieg, Hamburg; M 121 and M144 — Neptun, Rostock.They used two 3-cylinder vertical triple expansion engine driving two propeller shafts, using steam generated by two coal-fired boilers.
- "3" -> "three"; "engine" -> "engines"They had a designed displacement of 508 tonnes (500 long tons) (548–560 tonnes (539–551 long tons) at deep load).
- Change to: "They had a designed displacement of 508 tonnes (500 long tons), which was 548–560 tonnes (539–551 long tons) at deep load)."The crew consisted of 40 all ranks.
- I would recommend changing this to: "All ranks included, the crew consisted of forty people."
Service history
editand renamed Orao (Eagle), Galeb (Seagull), Gavran (Raven), Jastreb (Hawk), Kobac (Sparrow Hawk), and Sokol (Falcon) respectively.
- Comma before "respectively"They were rearmed with two Škoda 90 mm (3.5 in) L/45 guns and two machine guns, and could carry 24 mines. The crew was increased to 51 all ranks.
- "24" -> "twenty-four"; "51" -> "fifty-one". Is "all ranks" necessary, given that it is already clarified above?In 1938–39 Jastreb was fitted for oil-firing only.
- Comma after the year.During the World War II German-led Axis invasion of Yugoslavia in April 1941, all six ships were captured in port by the Italians; Kobac on 10 April at Šibenik, and the remainder were captured on 17 April, Sokol at Split, and the rest at the Bay of Kotor.
- Reword as follows: "During the World War II German-led Axis invasion of Yugoslavia in April 1941, all six ships were captured in port by the Italians. Kobac was captured on 10 April at Šibenik; the remainder were captured on 17 April, Sokol being captured at Split, and the rest at the Bay of Kotor.She was scuttled by her crew on 10 July 1943 at Augusta, Sicily in the face of advancing British troops...
- Comma after "Sicily"The surviving vessel, Vergada was recovered and handed back to the Royal Yugoslav Navy at Malta on 7 December 1943.
- Comma after "Vergada"She remained in service through the rest of the war, and became part of the post-war Yugoslav Navy, serving as Pionir from August 1945, then Zelengora from 1955, finally being disposed of in 1962.
- Separate the sentence as follows: "She remained in service through the rest of the war, and became part of the post-war Yugoslav Navy, serving as Pionir from August 1945, and as Zelengora from 1955. She was finally disposed of in 1962."
@Peacemaker67: I have finished the review. Biblio (talk) Reform project. 02:09, 8 August 2016 (UTC)
- @Biblioworm: all done. These are my edits. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:42, 8 August 2016 (UTC)
- Everything looks satisfactory now. Passed. Biblio (talk) Reform project. 18:25, 8 August 2016 (UTC)