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Latest comment: 3 years ago2 comments1 person in discussion
Hmm - I'm not seeing anything in your sandbox draft, which is concerning. By the beginning of class on Tuesday, you'll need to have at least an outline with associated references. Matthall.research (talk) 20:48, 3 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
Ok, now we're getting somewhere! This is shaping up very nicely: most of my recommendations for improvement are relatively minor. For instance, you have a tendency to not provide a citation until the end of a paragraph, whereas having one at the end of (almost) every sentence would be more helpful - even if it's the same one. The Deaf Culture section could benefit from reorganization: it seems like a grab-bag of different topics that didn't really fit anywhere else, and it doesn't actually say a whole lot about Ghanaian Deaf culture. I think this is probably a result of you trying to follow the "Deafness in Cuba" example, but I didn't intend for you to directly copy the structure of that article - you'll need to find a structure that works well for the information that you have to share! For example, you've talked a lot about the impact of hearing people's attitudes toward deafness and deaf people... why not have a section about that? You may have found information on healthcare (i.e., more than just diagnosis of hearing loss) and/or employment - feel free to add those, or whatever other sections seem most relevant, given what you've learned.