Talk:Brian Lane (RAF officer)

Latest comment: 12 hours ago by Zawed in topic GA Review
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GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Brian Lane (RAF officer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Zawed (talk · contribs) 10:30, 2 January 2025 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 15:21, 7 January 2025 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed
  • "where he became one of its flight commanders." A sentence on the role and responsibilities of a flight commander would be helpful.
  • "engaged in convoy patrols". Which involved what?
  • "the period late May to early June 1940. He briefly commanded the squadron during this time and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross." This suggests that his DFC was awarded during the period late May to early June, which it wasn't.
  • "flying as part of No. 12 Group's Duxford Wing." I think a brief explanation of the area covered by 12 Group and what a wing was would help.
  • "No. 12 Group's Duxford Wing. The unit's commander. Perhaps replace "unit" with 'squadron' for clarity?
  • I originally worded it that way to avoid the close usage of squadron in the same sentence, but see now it could potentially be interpreted as referring to the Duxford Wing. Zawed (talk) 09:30, 9 January 2025 (UTC)Reply
  • "Squadron Leader P. Pinkham". Is his full first name not known?
  • Could 'German-occupied' be inserted somewhere in the first sentence of "Later war service"?
  • "He initially served at the Air Headquarters Western Desert but in February 1942 was moved to the RAF's Middle East Command." Is the actual location at which he served known for either of these?
  • "Lane, his rank as squadron leader being made substantive by this time, returned to England in June to take up command of No. 61 Operational Training Unit at Montford Bridge for several months." Could the rank bit be put into a separate sentence.
  • "his rank as squadron leader being made substantive by this time". Could "substantive" be replaced with a word or phrase which would be understandable to a none expert?
  • Lead: "He was on staff duties for a year from mid-1941 during which time he wrote Spitfire!"; main article: "Lane was the author of Spitfire!, written during his period of service at No. 12 Group". Which?
  • What, if any, is the distinction between "shot down" and "destroyed" in the article?
  • Could you email me pages 386–387 of Aces High, thanks.

That's it from me. A cracking little article. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:30, 7 January 2025 (UTC)Reply