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Wikipedia:Peer review/Nestory Irankunda/archive1

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I have listed this article for peer review in hopes of making it a featured article in the future. Any comments on how to improve is welcome.

Thanks, JC Kotisow (talk) 06:23, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by SafariScribe

[edit]
  • While the lead needs rewriting, the third paragraph, "Irankunda was announced to join Bayern Munich in July 2024 for an undisclosed fee, presumably, breaking the A-League transfer record " is too short and should be merged with the fourth one.
  • This line, "Born in Tanzania, Irankunda has represented Australia at youth level" should go to the second paragraph. Second paragraph is the line after the infobox
  • Also add the Tanzania part where he was born and link them. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 14:57, 27 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    @SafariScribe Thanks for your comment. I have reworded the lead according to your views. JC Kotisow (talk) 01:52, 29 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I added this article to the FAC PR sidebar. Please consider reviewing articles on that list. Z1720 (talk) 17:37, 2 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]